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Ten Reasons Roland Burris Is Awesome

  • Roland Burris was the first African-American elected to state office in Illinois, serving as Comptroller from 1979 to 1991, and Attorney General from 1991 to 1995 (the second African-American state Attorney General in U.S. history).
  • Burris ran unsuccessfully for governor of Illinois in 1994, 1998 and 2002, losing in the latter election to Rod Blagojevich.
  • Blagojevich has appointed Burris to Barack Obama’s Senate seat despite controversy over the Illinois governor’s attempts to sell it. Burris has accepted the appointment, knowing that Senate Democrats will probably not seat him, due to Blagojevich’s pending trial.
  • Burris has built a mausoleum for him and his wife, listing their many accomplishments and topped by the phrase “TRAIL BLAZER.”
  • His children are named Roland II and Rolanda Sue.

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by (@katespencer)

Angelina Banned From Having More Babies?

Gasp! Angelina Jolie‘s life – and body – is not as perfect as we all think. Doctors have advised the baby-making machine and all-around hottie from pushing out more kids, due to her previous two pregnancies ending in emergency c-sections. “She’s been told that, at the least, she should not get pregnant for a year after her last deliver, and it would be safer if she did not get pregnant, ever,” revealed a source with insider knowledge of the super-famous womb.

Angie has revealed in the past that she just loooooves being pregnant, so we’re a little worried about what will happen when someone deals her a big, fat ‘NO.’ But if the actress is sad about this news, we imagine her six kids are pretty psyched. Surely they’re ready to put a cap on the sibling limit in the Jolie-Pitt mansion, right? And even Shiloh knows that mommy can always feed her baby addiction by randomly placing her slender finger on a map of the earth and piloting a jet to the local orphanage for some adoption fun. [Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Charles Barkley – DUI Party in Arizona!

 

We know someone who’s going to be toasting the New Year with some nonalcoholic champagne – basketball legend Charles Barkley. The legendary b-baller was busted for drunk driving after he ran a stop sign in Scottsdale, Arizona, at around 1:30 AM last night. Barkley declined a breathalyzer test, so cops nailed him with a blood test, and he was subsequently arrested.

Barkley announced in the fall that he plans on running for Governor of his home state of Alabama in 2014. It seems like a pretty boneheaded move for someone planning on plunging into politics – or perhaps he’s just trying to fit in with his future political peers? [People. Photo: Splash News Online]

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December 31st, 2008: The Day The Zune Died

Maybe God wanted to know who the hell bought a Zune. Microsoft’s answer to the iPod appears to have self-destructed on countless customers, according to reports across the web. A sample complaint from Gizmodo:

Apparently, around 2:00 AM today, the Zune models either reset, or were already off. Upon when turning on, the thing loads up and… freezes with a full loading bar (as pictured above). I thought my brother was the only one with it, but then it happened to my Zune. Then I checked out the forums and it seems everyone with a 30GB HDD model has had this happen to them

Rumors of a Y2K-type internal calendar issue seem unlikely, as it’s the day before the change-over. And while it’s tempting to believe that there are more willing hoaxsters then Zune users, someone would have stepped forward by now if their Zune wasn’t stuck on “loading.” Microsoft has yet to comment, but we did find this friendly comment on the Zune support site.

Customers with 30gb Zune devices may experience issues when booting their Zune hardware.  We’re aware of the problem and are working to correct it.  Sorry for the inconvenience, and thanks for your patience!

For some reason, we think customers will require more than “thanks” if their “issues” aren’t solved asa-f’n-p. [Photo: WireImage]

by (@katespencer)

Dane Cook’s Brother/Manager Steals His Millions

In a feat we once thought to be impossible, someone has proven to be a bigger douchebag than Dane Cook! Of course it’s a person directly related to the unfunny, big-mouthed, Boston comedian – his brother. Darryl McCauley, the 43-year-old half-brother of the star, was arrested for larceny and forgery yesterday, and is accused of stealing millions from his baby bro while serving as his manager. How’s that for a shocker?

McCauley has been managing Cook since the 90s, but apparently began hoarding millions of the comedian’s cash back in 2007, when he started transferring it into personal accounts. He once even forged a $3 million check from his bro to himself, sticking it in his own bank account, right under Dane’s nose. Cook and McCauley are apparently extremely close, which only makes the situation more depressing and bizarre – kinda like Cook’s own asinine brand of comedy. [Boston Globe. Photo: Getty Images]

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Birth Dating: Who’s Older? Val Kilmer Or Paul Westerberg?

Val Kilmer made his screen debut in 1984′s Top Secret! That same year, Paul Westerberg‘s band, The Replacements, released Let It Be, one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the ’80s. Westerberg began a solo career almost a decade later, around the same time Kilmer was playing Doc Holliday in Tombstone. Today, the singer is self-releasing albums online, while the actor is considering a career in politics. Both mavericks were born on December 31st. Click on the photo to find out which one is older.

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Woody Harrelson Gets Married In Predictably Unpredictable Fashion

Think of Woody Harrelson and what comes into your mind straightaway? For us, it’s being all pro-hemp, smoking pot, occasionally making a movie and then smoking more pot again. So we’re pleased that he stayed true to his hippy lifestyle by doing a totally bourgeois thing like getting married to longterm girlfriend Lara Louie in a totally un-bourgeois way.

Like, in Hawaii. Wearing a loose-fitted white shirt, that’s not tucked in, uh-uh. With fellow “man, we’re serious actors but we don’t fit into that conservative Hollywood mold, so get off our backs” movie stars Owen Wilson and Sean Penn. And then have the happy couple serenaded by “she used to be huge but now she’s a credible artiste again or something” Alanis Morrissette. And to ensure that no-one really expected you to get married after being with your woman for 18 years already. Yep, Woody is keeping it real, man. Congrats! [Source: Metro; Photo: Splash News Online]

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Solange Heats Up Miami In Wet T-Shirt

When we see Solange, our immediate reaction is to pity her. Wouldn’t it suck, we think, to have Beyonce as a sister? Wouldn’t it be hard if your music sold only a fraction of her music? And if you were unlucky in love and your sister was married to The Supreme Being of Hip-Hop?

But then we remind ourselves that Solange is rich and beautiful and never has to wait in a line to get in a bar or a club or a restaurant. No, don’t pity Solange. Loathe her …

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Jennifer Garner Is Still Pregnant

It seems the only celebrity photos around at the moment are of bikini-clad A-listers whooping it up in the sun (grrr), or of a still heavily pregnant Jennifer Garner. Seriously this gestation period seems to have been going on for around seven years! Hurry up and have the baby already, Jen!

We are impressed at your remarkable energy in these final weeks (days? Minutes?) of going out every day, but it would be nice to have some “real” news to read about rather than roundups of 2008, boring celebrity resolution features (apparently Cameron Diaz wants to start wearing a bra for 2009 — you and us both, Cammy) and pieces criticizing invisible A-list swimsuit cellulite. Think of your public, please, Jen!  [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Sexiest Of ’08: Megan Fox

We asked you to vote for the year’s sexiest celeb as part of The 2008 Scandalist Awards — and 46% of you chose Transformers hottie Megan Fox. Most voters seemed to agree with Scandalist reader Vania, who commented: “Megan Fox all the way, she’s gorgeous and she’s not that skinny, she’s healthy!” See full results below.

Scandalist Mobile Winner: Megan Fox narrowly beat out Eva Mendes.

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