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When Kanye Met Peaches

Kanye: “Hi there, I’m Kanye. You know who I am – the Best International Male, which means that I am the Best Male in any international…

Peaches: “Yes, yes, I saw the Brits. But don’t you have grey hair in real life?”

Kanye: “Damn no! That was some crazy Benjamin Button shit! I do not have grey hair aside from on magazine covers!”

Peaches: “Oh, yeah. Like, I’m sorry.”

Kanye: “So who the hell are you?”

Peaches: “I’m Peaches Geldof, an international celebrity, too! I go to all the best parties, fashion weeks, and the Children’s Champion awards. You must have heard of those.”

Kanye: “Nuh-uh.”

Peaches: “Oh, well, you’ve probably read my incredibly insightful column on New York in Nylon magazine, then. Hey – are you single? I’m 19 and about to get divorced which means I’ve gone through some really profound experiences.”

Kanye: “Um, I gotta run. Bye!”

(Scandalist imagines the introductory conversation between Kanye West and Peaches Geldof at the Jeremy Scott fashion show in Paris) [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Paris Hilton Enjoys Groundhog Birthday

Only Paris Hilton has got the ego to celebrate her birthday over and over and over again, metaphorically battering the world’s gossip geeks over the head with her repeated presence so much that we have come to believe that she contributes something to the world. Anyway, it’s worth noting that Paris is 28, as she has let us know with a party at Body English club in Las Vegas this past weekend. Yes, she was 28 last month. On February 17th. Yes, over three whole weeks ago! And yes, we know this isn’t a landmark birthday or anything particularly important, but for Gods’ sake, people, it’s PARIS. And she can celebrate her birthday all year round if she so desires, because there will always be photogs around to snap that smug face every night. Grrr. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Travis Barker And Shanna Moakler Getting Married Again

Here we go again! Just a year ago their divorce was being finalized but now Shanna Moakler says she and Travis Barker are tying the knot again.

“We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding,” Shanna says. “It’s not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we’ve been through.”

Last September Travis and pal DJ AM survived a fatal plane crash that left four dead. Shanna was spotted at the hospital at Travis’ side and the couple has been close ever since.

“When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted,” Shanna says. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Brian Bosworth Out On Bail After DUI Arrest

Football flash in the pan turned b-movie actor Brian “The Boz” Bosworth is out on $5,000 bail following a DUI arrest. According to TMZ, Bosworth’s motorcycle was pulled over around 3am when police noticed he didn’t have a license plate. Refusing to take a breathalyzer, he was arrested on suspicion of driving drunk.

Bosworth first gained infamy as a linebacker for the University of Oklahoma Sooners, when he unveiled a “National Communists Against Athletes” t-shirt during the 1987 Orange Bowl (he was kept out of the game due to steroid use). Despite signing the largest rookie contract ever with the Seattle Seahawks later that year, he only lasted until 1989. In 1991, he starred in the box office flop Stone Cold (underrated!) and has continued to work in low-budget action films and make celebrity appearances.

[Photo: WireImage]

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by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: This Dog Hates Its Life

  • Bobby Trendy – still fabulously desperate.  [DListed]
  • Click here to see what happens when a dolphin and tiger cub fall in love.  [Seriously?OMG!]
  • Justin Timberlake suddenly looks like a 40-year-old man.  [PopSugar]
  • Brody Jenner and Joe Francis got in a fight over Brody’s girlfriend, and the world almost exploded with douchiness.  [Wonderwall]
  • Ever wondered what would happen if Diddy met Bjork? Hint – it doesn’t involve his twitter. [Buzzfeed]
  • Ghost: The Musical – because a song about sex on a pottery wheel is our destiny.  [BWE]

by (@katespencer)

Lindsay Lohan Spotted With Cuts On Her Wrist

We bring you yet another post about Lindsay Lohan looking too skinny sporting mysterious cuts on her wrist. Is she a cutter? Did she go wild with the wine opener and things got out of hand? Did she draw on her wrist with lip liner to make us all suspicious and keep her in the public eye?

Really, it doesn’t matter what happened, as long as we keep talking about her. Right, Linds? [Photo: Splash News Online]

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SPOTTED: March

In today’s Spotted, we have a The City star hanging on a different coast and an Oscar winner on a Southwest flight. See who Scandalist spotted and contribute your own celebrity sightings by e-mailing us here.

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by (@katespencer)

Usher Supports Rihanna’s Decision To Stay With An Allegedly Violent Douchebag

Usher – singer/dancer/father extraordinaire – bashed Chris Brown‘s allegedly abusive tendencies earlier this week, then quickly turned around and changed his tune. “I apologize on behalf of myself and my friends if anyone was offended,” he said in a statement. “The intentions were not to pass judgment and we meant no harm. I respect and wish the best for all parties involved.”

What Usher didn’t reveal was what brought around his sudden change of heart. We now know that the singer supposedly retracted his statement out of respect and support for Rihanna, and her idiotic decision (in our opinion) to stand by her man. “Everybody loves Rihanna,” said one of her friends. “They don’t necessarily want her with Chris, but the second it was clear she was back with him, all of her friends rallied around her, stopped saying bad things about Chris. It might be what they’re thinking, but more than anything she needs support. And that’s what she’ll get.”

Rihanna’s friends need a little lesson from the girls of The Hills. When one of those airheads dates a dud, they make sure she knows her choice stinks in the most passive aggressive way possible. Someone’s gotta let Rihanna know that she could be ruining her life, right? [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Coolio Arrested For Crack Possession

Coolio was arrested at LAX airport for crack cocaine possession today, according to TMZ. A security screener reportedly found drugs on him and the rapper became violent soon after. Coolio, 45,  has admitted to dealing crack in his early twenties.

While the rapper hasn’t been a commercial force in music for over a decade, he has recently found success on reality TV, starring on Oxygen’s Coolio’s Rules and finishing third on the latest season of Celebrity Big Brother in the UK. Coolio was mugged by audience members at a concert at Staffordshire University in England on February 25th, following a failed stage dive.

[Photo: FilmMagic]

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Citizen Scandal: Woman Interrupts Funeral, Bonks Corpse With “Wand”

Word to the wise: if you’re going to dance into a funeral hall, hit the corpse on the head with a wand, throw casket flowers at the mourners, shout “I love you! I love you!” and drive off in your Toyota, make sure your wand isn’t actually a broken car antenna. If the body doesn’t magically come to life after you’ve hit it, you’re not Glenda, The Good Witch. You’re Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard of Weaverville, NC.

Leonard was driving through Laurens County, South Carolina when she decided to make a spontaneous appearance at the local Church Of God. Pulled over by police after bippity-boppity-booing a dead man in front of his friends and family, she claimed she made the scene because if “felt like it was the right thing to do at the time.” The 25-year-old was charged with disorderly conduct and interrupting a funeral. We didn’t even know interrupting a funeral is illegal, but we’re totally fine with that.