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Robert Downey Jr. Handles Shock Jock Like A Pro

A question few would dare ask Tropic Thunder star Robert Downey, Jr.: “who would you rather have a brew with or smoke a blunt with, Ben Stiller or Jack Black?” But, on a recent press junket, one radio DJ wasn’t afraid to ask the recovering addict about his preferred party pal, also querying “you play a black guy in your new movie, who’s a hot black chick in Hollywood right now?” No one would have blamed RDJ for throwing a tantrum in response, but Iron Man riffs back pleasantly throughout the audio clip, signing off with a “God bless your heart” that sounds all too genuine. Our hero. [Hollywood Outbreak]

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Only Madonna Knows Katy Perry’s Pain

Katy Perry has it hard, yo. Every day she has to promote her #1 single by playing shows, posing on red carpets and talking about people more famous than her. Woof. Who could possibly understand what she’s going through? “I really want to have a sit-down dinner with Madonna. I’m waiting for that invitation. I wanna ask her how she’s made it through all of this and still continues,” says the beleaguered Perry. “If she would just give me a little advice – I really wanna pick her brain.” Katy, Katy. I know Madge is a fan, but you’ve had one big hit. One. To even ask for Fergie‘s wisdom would be a little optimistic—advice from Lisa Loeb or Meredith Brooks might be more appropriate. [Uberazzi]

[Photo:Getty Images]

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Eva Mendes: Banned In The U.S.

A post-rehab Eva Mendes stars in a new commercial for Calvin Klein, but the ad has been deemed too racy for U.S. TV.

In the risque commercial for the fragrance “Secret Obsession”, Eva rolls around seductively and says, “Between love and madness lies obsession. Love … madness … it’s my secret.” The creative director for the ad told the New York Post that “this country is so messed up … I really can’t believe this is happening.”

Watch the pulled the advertisement, and decide for yourself if it’s too racy for TV.

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Citizen Scandal: Man Calls 911 On Subway For Sauceless Sandwich

Can you blame a guy for getting mad when a Subway sandwich artist forgets to include the sauce on his Spicy Italian sub? They’re supposed to be artists! And can you blame a guy for calling 911 when they don’t fix his sub promptly? Wasting his time is a crime! And can you blame a guy for calling 911 a second time when no one shows up? This is a serious emergency! And finally, can you blame Subway employees for locking the man out as soon as he leaves? He’s obviously a f*cking lunatic!

When Jacksonville police finally arrived to explain to Reginald Peterson that slack sandwich artistry fails to qualify as an “emergency” in most circles, the 42-year-old man failed to regain composure and was arrested for making false 911 calls. Flavor Flav was wrong: 911 ain’t no joke. [AP]

by (@katespencer)

Desperation Never Looked So Hot

Oh girl-kissing, how we never weary of your tempting ways. We’ve seen it a billion times – mostly around 2AM at Senor Frogs on a foggy spring break trip after tequila shots – and the outcome is always the same: the girls involved get a bunch of attention and grab a little boob, while the rest of the world gets all horny watching.

Needless to say, this was a great game plan for Aubrey O’Day (the most plastic of the Danity Kane girls) and socialite-turned scarecrow-turned actress Lydia Hearst, who put on quite a show outside Butter in NYC last night. Surely they were hoping for some “are they or aren’t they!” buzz a la Lindsay and Sam, but O’Day’s already proven herself to be publicity hungry, BFFing it up with Jenna Jameson and supposedly spreading rumors (and then squashing them) about a hook-up with her Hairspray co-star, Ashley Parker Angel. Still, we can’t help but watch as these two blond bobble heads go at it. They win.

[Images: Splash News Online]

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Jessica’s Sexy Striptease For Tony

From the Department of Bright Ideas: apparently Jessica Simpson keeps things hot with footballing boyfriend Tony Romo by setting up her webcam and performing sexy stripteases. The Sun is reporting that when the Dallas quarterback and the singer are apart, Jess strips down to keep her man interested. “Jess has no problem showing Tony her favourite ‘PUSSYCAT DOLLS’ routine. She will dance in front of her camera until she makes her man happy,” a source tells the UK tabloid. Apparently though, she’s paranoid about Tony letting his buddies check out the footage. He sounds like a keeper, Jess.

While we’re sure that the source of this tale is fairly questionable, we do know Jessica has a penchant for stripping to her skivvies. Jessica has performed numerous times with the Pussycat Dolls, and while married to Nick Lachey, performed a striptease for his birthday. [Photo: WireImage]

by (@katespencer)

LiLo’s Dad Doesn’t Do Gay Marriage, Just 24-Year Olds

Lindsay Lohan should not bother asking her dad to walk her down the aisle if the person waiting for her at the altar in a tux is Samantha Ronson. Her dad Michael – a noble man of great scruples – just ain’t down with the lady-on-lady love. “I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Pops Lohan. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

Of course, of course. Michael is a spiritual guy who has risen above scandal and scum to lead his perfect, moralistic life by example. Why, just ask his 24-year old girlfriend, Erin (pictured above)! Yep, the 48-year old father of four is busy banging some chick just two years older than Linds, who he loves because she “has a great family and I love her dad”. And his pure, precious girlfriend? She’s passionate about guzzling booze, having once told HollywoodPoker, “I can drink most men under the table.”

Just as long as she doesn’t marry a girl!

[Photo: Splash Online]

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FBI Takes Nude Photos Of Anne Hathaway

…from ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri‘s storage space. According to the National Enquirer, G-Men searching for evidence in Follieri’s upcoming fraud and money laundering trial have seized Anne Hathaway‘s personal diaries, as well as nude photos of the Get Smart actress. The highlight of the stash is allegedly “a sizzling photo of her in black fishnet stockings, a garter belt and bustier that totally exposed her top” taken by “a very famous photographer.” Even though that top is more than visible in Havoc and Brokeback Mountain, this shot is probably making a bored FBI agent’s day right as you read this. [Celebitchy]

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100 Greatest Celebrity Scandals Of All Time

Celebrity scandals not only make for great reading, but say a lot about human nature. This is why we’re launching Scandalist with the 100 Greatest Celebrity Scandals Of All Time. We began this project by researching and gathering the follies of more than 250 celebrities. After whittling the list down to the 100 most essential, we locked ourselves in a conference room and nearly came to blows before agreeing on a final order. The scandals range from funny (Tom Cruise freakout) to sexy (Kim Kardashian‘s ass) to depraved (Charles Manson) to world-affecting (Monica‘s BJ’s).

In each post, we highlight where the scandal hit in the arc of each celebrity’s career and what impact it had on them. As a whole, these scandals provide a gold mine of odd trivia and pop culture memorabilia. Ever hear that Mick Jagger was rumored to have eaten a Mars Bar out of singer Marianne Faithfull‘s vagina? Or that Barry Bonds‘ Hall Of Fame ball literally has an asterisk on it? Read through all 100 juicy scandals, browse the list below, or skip ahead to the Top 10. Dig in!

#100: Winona Ryder Likes To Steal
#99: Pat O’Brien’s Dirty Voicemails
#98: Pee-Wee Herman’s Indecent Exposure
#97: Sinead O’Connor Rips Up Pope Picture
#96: Mick Jagger Eats Candy Out Of Marianne Faithful’s Vagina?
#95: Kim Kardashian Sex Tape
#94: Lil’ Kim Jailed For Perjury
#93: Liza Minnelli And David Gest Marry, Divorce
#92: Dave Chappelle Bails On Chappelle’s Show
#91: Todd Bridges’ Drug Woes
#90: Matt Damon Dumps Minnie Driver on Oprah
#89: Vanessa Anne Hudgens’ Nude Photos
#88: Angelina Jolie Makes Out With Her Brother
#87: Karrine “Superhead” Steffans Publishes Tell-All
#86: David Hasselhoff’s Drunken Hamburger Viral Video
#85: Mariah Carey’s TRL Meltdown
#84: Whitney Houston: Crack Is Whack
#83: Kobe Bryant Rape Trial
#82: Diddy Midtown Shooting Trial
#81: Madonna And Britney Kiss
#80: Bill O’Reilly Loves Vibrators, Phone Sex
#79: Rush Limbaugh Is A Drug Addict
#78: Nick Hogan Crashes His ‘Pussy Magnet’
#77: Amy Winehouse Is A Drug Addict
#76: Eddie Murphy’s Transvestite Prostitute
#75: Courtney Love’s Heroin Binge
#74: Kate Moss Cocaine Video
#73: Eminem’s Relationship With Kim
#72: Salman Rushdie’s Death Warrant
#71: John Belushi Overdoses
#70: Studio 54 Bust
#69: Tom Cruise Loses His Cool
#68: River Phoenix Overdoses
#67: Rick James Tortures People
#66: Richard Gere Rumored To Stick Gerbils Up His Butt
#65: Mike Tyson Convicted Of Rape
#64: Elvis Presley Dies At 44
#63: Hugh Grant Busted For Soliciting Prostitute
#62: Jane Fonda Endorses North Vietnamese
#61: Hell’s Angels Wreak Havoc At Altamont
#60: Paris Hilton Goes To Jail
#59: Jack Johnson Becomes First Black Heavyweight Champ, Riots Ensue
#58: Brad Dumps Jennifer For Angelina
#57: Heidi Fleiss’s Prostitution Ring Busted
#56: Alec Baldwin’s Abusive Voicemail Rant
#55: Deep Throat Prompts Obscenity Trial
#54: Martha Stewart Busted For Insider Trading
#53: Sex Addict Bob Crane Murdered
#52: Don Imus Spews Racist Remarks
#51: Lorena Bobbit Severs John Bobbit’s Penis
#50: Oliver Stone’s JFK Sparks Controversy
#49: Michael Vick: Dog Killer
#48: Fatty Arbuckle Charged With Rape, Murder
#47: Marilyn Manson Blamed For Columbine Shootings
#46: James Frey Writes A Million Little Lies
#45: Washington D.C. Mayor Marion Barry Crack Bust
#44: Mel Gibson’s Anti-Semitic Rant
#43: Robe Lowe Sex Tape
#42: Robert Downey, Jr. Has Drug Problems
#41: Milli Vanilli Lip-Synch
#40: Phil Spector Charged With Murder
#39: The 27 Club
#38: Michael Richards Loses It On Stage
#37: Lou Pearlman Indicted
#36: Chuck Berry’s ‘Toilet Tapes’
#35: Lisa ‘Left-Eye’ Lopes Burns Down Andre’s House
#34: Tonya Harding Has Nancy Kerrigan Clubbed
#33: Heath Ledger Overdoses
#32: Jimmy Swaggart Caught With Prostitute
#31: Barry Bonds’ Steroid Scandal
#30: Gram Parsons’ Corpse Stolen
#29: Ted Kennedy Goes For A Dip At Chappaquiddick
#28: Paris Hilton Sex Tape
#27: Paula Abdul Boinks American Idol Contestant
#26: New York Governor Eliot Spitzer Likes Prostitutes
#25: Jerry Lee Lewis Marries His 13-Year-Old Cousin
#24: Lindsay Lohan Melts Down
#23: R. Kelly Child Porn Trial
#22: Vanessa Williams Dethroned
#21: Amy Fisher Shoots Joey Buttafuoco’s Wife
#20: Anna Nicole Smith’s Death
#19: Sid Killed Nancy. Or Did He?
#18: Patty Hearst Is Kidnapped
#17: Kurt Cobain Commits Suicide
#16: Marvin Gaye Murdered By His Father
#15: JonBenet Ramsey Sexually Assaulted, Murdered
#14: Marilyn Monroe Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances
#13: Kanye West: ‘George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People’
#12: The Roman Polanski Rape Trial
#11: John Lennon Murdered
#’s 10-1: The Top 10 Scandals

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#100: Winona Ryder Likes To Steal

After stealing a handful of rock stars from their long-term paramours (Remember Soul Asylum‘s Dave Pirner? Neither do we), Winona Ryder revealed that she also had a penchant for stealing high-end couture, after getting busted for shoplifting at a Beverly Hills Saks in December 2001. Surveillance cameras caught the then-30-year-old star acting about half her age, as she tried to slip out of the store with more than $6,000 worth of merchandise.

The cherry on top of this mess: painkillers were found in Winona’s purse. A prescription for them was not. Suddenly, her brief but very public association with Courtney Love around that time made a lot more sense. Winona subsequently treated her arrest as, like, no big deal. She poked fun at the whole episode during a bizarre stint as the host of Saturday Night Live (“I love free stuff!”), and appeared on the cover of W magazine wearing one of those “Free Winona” t-shirts. Kids, they never learn.