What would another week be without Cousin Biscuit weighing in on this week’s redneck going-ons? Well, it would probably look like some sort of orchestra recital, but that’s beside the point. If you watch any reality TV, you’ll need to bone up on your Redneck Speak. That’s why we have Biscuit!
Best Week Ever
What will keep Michelle’s #PantiesOn and what will take Michelle’s #PantiesOff this week? Only she can say in this exclusive clip from this week’s Best Week Ever.
This week was full of stuff. So much stuff that we bet you missed some. So MUCH stuff, that we bet you need to catch up. Don’t stress, we have just what you need here: A GIF WALL OF CATCH UP featuring the week’s best in rapidly-moving objects from pop’s finest sources.
It’s that time of the year again. Time for the cutest puppies to run around a mock, dollhouse-shrunken replica of a football stadium. It’s Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl! Go long, pups! I forget whether or not there’s a winner involved, but I know that I’m judging these ADORABLE animals by their ADORABLENESS, because that’s how you become a winner in my (play)book.
So who’s gonna win the big game?
Tonight? Snuggle up to your imaginary girlfriend and/or girlfriend-shaped body pillow, and prepare for a brand new episode of Best Week Ever. Your television has to be real, but are some other things we can help you imagine:
- Buttery popcorn
- Your favorite team winning the Superbowl
- An overall sense of well-being and comfort
Who is having the Best Week Ever? Last week it was THE FLU, and we hope that you’re cured by now so you can vote on who should be crowned victorious this week.
To help sway your votes, we had a couple of the new Best Week Ever cast members weigh in. Here are your options.
What’s the big deal? Queen B got a little backtracked assistance during her Presidential National Anthem debut. Wouldn’t we all like a little backtracked assistance sometime? But lip-syncing, especially that little move she pulled with the earpiece, made it appear that Bey was hiding it from us. And we don’t like when our celebrities hide things from us. As you can imagine, this became a huge deal and everyone weighed in–causing us to give it this catchy name (you like?) and have our very own Nick Turner set things straight.
With 51% of the vote, you said Mel Gibson had the Best Week Ever. Too bad we were all STRICKEN BY THE FLU to pay attention to the voice of the people. So we went with the flu. Because, apparently, the only thing you can think about when you have the flu is…THE FLU.
Sorry, Mel, THE FLU had the Best Week Ever. There’s always The Oscars.
There is only one way to sum up superstar Julia Roberts’ glamourous life and career, and that apparently is an OBSTACLE COURSE. Leave it to Billy on the Street to create a street-side (Brooklyn!) Double Dare-meets-Access Hollywood course where each obstacle represents a part of Julia’s existence? Remember The Pelican Brief? Dig through a crude barrel of oil to find a pelican. Eat, Pray, Love? Slide down into a “bowl” of spaghetti and meatballs. Luckily, Rachel Dratch owed Billy a favor (or someone from her “team” did) so she gets to “drink the juice” and crawl through a contaminated lake (ie Erin Brockovich).
WHY are there so reality shows about rednecks on TV? A Boo Boo Child here, a Buckwild teen there, how will we decipher what all of these people are even saying? Don’t you worry, we’ve brought in our RedneXpert Cousin Biscuit to clear it all up for you.