The iPhone rumor mill is up and running again. It’s been months since the iPhone 4 came out, so, naturally, people have started writing and re-posting what essentially amounts to iPhone fan fiction. Yesterday, there was a whole to-do about Apple making an iPhone Nano. And then today, people were claiming the next iPhone will actually be bigger. Anything anyone can dream up about a new iPhone gets circulated as real possibility. So why don’t we just make up our own iPhone 5 rumors and see what happens? Some might turn out to be true.
1.) The iPhone 5 Used To Be Paul From The Wonder Years.
Josh Saviano, the guy who played Paul on the hit television show The Wonder Year, went on to get facial reconstructive surgery and had two ribs removed so that he could run multiple applications at a time.
Sometimes things come together just right in a photo, and it makes it looks like a sheepish, skull-capped Justin Bieber is getting his biebers tousled.
This camera angle is being so immature.
Obviously, there’s nobody to feel bad for here because this is not a real thing. BUT! If there were someone to feel bad for, it’s the guy on the right. The other guy is the one doing the not real manhandling, but his face isn’t in the picture. The guy on the right, however, is fully visible and now, through no fault of his own, his face is associated with dragging Justin Bieber through an airport by the kid’s kid-junk.
Thanks, Splash News.
During the Grammy Awards last night, Drake and Rihanna performed together. While it was overtly sexual, Drake did not actually sing directly to Rihanna’s ass for the whole song. It’s really fun to imagine he did though.
But, hold on. Rihanna’s stance looks strangely familiar. Anyone getting a Coppertone Baby feel? Let’s fix this picture with some amateurish Photoshopping.
I guess we’ll deal with how this came about first. From Splash News:
“Madame Tussaud‘s in London has created a new wax likeness of Bruce Willis after it polled visitors which male star currently not on display at the attraction they would most like admire on Valentines Day.”
That is a very weird poll question. I’m surprised they didn’t end up having to make a huge wax figure of the phrase, “Excuse me?” Anyway, they made this Bruce Willis wax figure (for Valentines Day) and now they have to keep wiping his head all the time? What’s going on here?
Is this a joke? Are they joking about Bruce Willis having to wipe his head all the time? Is that even a thing? Stop wiping wax Bruce Willis’s head.
Lady, seriously. There’s no reason for you to– please stop.
Willow Smith takes a seat on the most coveted horned-lap in the music biz!! Yes, that’s Lady Gaga, and despite my reservations about certain members of the Pinkett-Smith family (namely, everyone but Will), I am not completely heartless. It’s adorable.
I WELCOME THIS FUTURE WITH OPEN HORN-SHOULDERED ARMS. Bring it, Angry Lord of Earth.
(via Lindsay Weber’s Tumblr)
Men, VH1 and BWE have joined forces with Cee Lo “The Lady Killer” Green to help you step up your love game for Valentine’s Day. Don’t bother with gifts like flowers, chocolate or jewelry. So unoriginal. And definitely don’t take her out to dinner at an overcrowded restaurant with a lame, overpriced prix fixe menu, where you’ll probably be sandwiched between spit swapping teens with pimples. Not an aphrodisiac! You only need to forward The Cee Lo Green Valentine’s Video Card to one or more special ladies. They’ll laugh. They’ll cry. They’ll associate a bit of Cee Lo’s “cool factor” on you without even realizing it. It’s a fail-proof recipe for getting some. Trust us. Just choose the Cee Lo video that works best for your particular situation (more videos after the jump):
A Sweet & Romantic Message of Love
Click Here For Link
R-Rated & Nasty Seduction
Click Here For Link
I seriously cannot GET OVER how talented the asses of the Kardashian girls are. Look at Kourtney Kardashian’s ass! It can play the f**king piano. Can any of the Kardashian sisters play the piano? Of course not. But their asses? MAESTROS. With a little help from sister Kim or course.
And to think, those asses are grazing the same surface Tom Hanks’ feet once skipped over in Big… Mr. Hanks, you should have your feet bronzed for the honor.
[Photos: Splash News]
Admittedly creepy title, as Matt Lauer is only a teenager here. But it just goes to show that with hair, without hair, underaged or baked to 53 degrees Farenheit, Matt Lauer is hot as sh*t. These photos were taken from his Greenwich High School yearbook photos way back when in 1975, clocking him in at around 17.
Ahead, we have his “formal” shot that is 1000 percent more news-anchory than the one you see above, along with his yearbook quote. Underaged Anderson Cooper does not hold a candle to this guy.
Jersey Shore’s J-Woww aka Jenni Farley made her fashion week debut last night in the Richie Rich show at Hammerstein Ballroom. There she is, in all her post-show glory, sporting a classy see through dress that lets those plastic basketballs shine through unencumbered, holding hands with designer Richie, who seems to be sporting a haute couture boner or something else oblong and giant in his pants. (No, really, what is that?)
No word if she actually peed on the runway, though if you know Richie Rich, you know this would be one of the milder things to happen at his show…
We’ve got more pics of Jenni alongside some shirtless male models ahead. The only thing missing? FANCY HATS.
(Image via NewNowNext Blog)
Did you feel a slight tingling sensation in your nether regions as you awoke this morning? It’s OK. You can admit it. We all did. Because today is the day rabid Lady Gaga fans got what they’ve all been waiting for: The premiere of her new single “Born This Way.” It’s a new sound for Gaga, though perhaps not completely original: The message and beat sound like an updated version of Madonna‘s “Express Yourself.” You can listen to the song over at Lady Gaga’s official website or at EW.com.
If the LGBT community were to create a sitcom based on their experiences, surely “Born This Way” would be their theme song. That, or The Supremes’ “The Happening.” Is the song Gaga’s best? In our opinion, far from it. But it’s as catchy as SARS, and if you frequent any sort of dance clubs or bars at all, you better get used to it, because it will be played ad nauseum for the next 10 or so centuries. “Born This Way” is to gays what “Empire State of Mind” is to Yankee fans. It’s a song that unites, whether it’s rounding 3rd base or 8 cosmos and a strobe light. (Note: Both things happen at Yankee Stadium.)
As far as whether or not the song is good… It’s good, but we’re not getting the Lady Gaga ClassicⒸ vibes we got from such songs as “Paparazzi” or “Alejandro.” Then again, I can see why hundreds of thousands of handsome G’s would want to tank up, thong out, and just dance their lives away to this anthem. As such, I have no choice but to love the song, as anyone who knows me knows I love being thronged by sweaty hardbodies who have no interest in me sexually.
Ahead, an interesting update regarding the gay community’s boycotting of Target…