8 Name Suggestions For Natalie Portman’s Baby Boy

It’s been revealed that Natalie Portman will be having a boy! We’re sure she’s super swamped with all the Oscar stuff that’s going on, so we here at Best Week Ever would like to give her some name suggestions. After long hours of thought and soul-searching as to what names would really encapsulate this little boy, we’ve each come up with two options, one for the last name Portman and one for the last name Millipied. Because I think it’s some sort of rule that if your mom wins the Oscar you have to take her last name.

My Name Suggestions Are:

Weezer Incubus Portman
Ang Looseleaf Millepied

Michelle Collins Suggests:

Drink King Portman
Theold Saw Millepied

Dan Hopper Suggests:

Ladybird Dustbowl Portman
Abacus Johnson Millepied

Noah Garfinkel Suggests:

Josh Shoeshine Portman
Phillip P. Millepied (“And one day he will marry Ryan Phillippe’s daughter Millie P. Phillippe.” -Noah)

Natalie, Ben, choose whichever one you want. None of us will care as long as you pick one of these. I mean, we do have a pool going and one of us stands to make a lot of money. But don’t go Weezer over it or anything.

You’re welcome!


5 Fake iPhone 5 Rumors

The iPhone rumor mill is up and running again. It’s been months since the iPhone 4 came out, so, naturally, people have started writing and re-posting what essentially amounts to iPhone fan fiction. Yesterday, there was a whole to-do about Apple making an iPhone Nano. And then today, people were claiming the next iPhone will actually be bigger. Anything anyone can dream up about a new iPhone gets circulated as real possibility. So why don’t we just make up our own iPhone 5 rumors and see what happens? Some might turn out to be true.

1.) The iPhone 5 Used To Be Paul From The Wonder Years.

Josh Saviano, the guy who played Paul on the hit television show The Wonder Year, went on to get facial reconstructive surgery and had two ribs removed so that he could run multiple applications at a time.

Verdict: True

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Justin Bieber Gets Trick Photography Pantomime Fondled

Sometimes things come together just right in a photo, and it makes it looks like a sheepish, skull-capped Justin Bieber is getting his biebers tousled.

This camera angle is being so immature.

Obviously, there’s nobody to feel bad for here because this is not a real thing. BUT! If there were someone to feel bad for, it’s the guy on the right. The other guy is the one doing the not real manhandling, but his face isn’t in the picture. The guy on the right, however, is fully visible and now, through no fault of his own, his face is associated with dragging Justin Bieber through an airport by the kid’s kid-junk.

Thanks, Splash News.


Let’s Fix This Rihanna/Drake Photo

During the Grammy Awards last night, Drake and Rihanna performed together. While it was overtly sexual, Drake did not actually sing directly to Rihanna’s ass for the whole song. It’s really fun to imagine he did though.

But, hold on. Rihanna’s stance looks strangely familiar. Anyone getting a Coppertone Baby feel? Let’s fix this picture with some amateurish Photoshopping.

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New Bruce Willis Wax Figure Requires A Lot Of Head Wiping

I guess we’ll deal with how this came about first. From Splash News:

Madame Tussaud‘s in London has created a new wax likeness of Bruce Willis after it polled visitors which male star currently not on display at the attraction they would most like admire on Valentines Day.”

That is a very weird poll question.  I’m surprised they didn’t end up having to make a huge wax figure of the phrase, “Excuse me?” Anyway, they made this Bruce Willis wax figure (for Valentines Day) and now they have to keep wiping his head all the time? What’s going on here?

Is this a joke? Are they joking about Bruce Willis having to wipe his head all the time? Is that even a thing? Stop wiping wax Bruce Willis’s head.

Lady, seriously. There’s no reason for you to– please stop.

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Willow Smith Sits On Lady Gaga’s Lap In Photo We’re Calling “America’s Future”

Willow Smith takes a seat on the most coveted horned-lap in the music biz!! Yes, that’s Lady Gaga, and despite my reservations about certain members of the Pinkett-Smith family (namely, everyone but Will), I am not completely heartless. It’s adorable.


(via Lindsay Weber’s Tumblr)


The Cee Lo Green Valentine’s V-Card: 100% Guaranteed to Get You Laid

Men, VH1 and BWE have joined forces with Cee Lo “The Lady Killer” Green to help you step up your love game for Valentine’s Day. Don’t bother with gifts like flowers, chocolate or jewelry. So unoriginal. And definitely don’t take her out to dinner at an overcrowded restaurant with a lame, overpriced prix fixe menu, where you’ll probably be sandwiched between spit swapping teens with pimples. Not an aphrodisiac! You only need to forward The Cee Lo Green Valentine’s Video Card to one or more special ladies. They’ll laugh. They’ll cry. They’ll associate a bit of Cee Lo’s “cool factor” on you without even realizing it. It’s a fail-proof recipe for getting some. Trust us. Just choose the Cee Lo video that works best for your particular situation (more videos after the jump):

A Sweet & Romantic Message of Love

Click Here For Link

R-Rated & Nasty Seduction

Click Here For Link

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Kardashians Possess An Ass Of Many Talents

I seriously cannot GET OVER how talented the asses of the Kardashian girls are. Look at Kourtney Kardashian’s ass! It can play the f**king piano. Can any of the Kardashian sisters play the piano? Of course not. But their asses? MAESTROS. With a little help from sister Kim or course.

And to think, those asses are grazing the same surface Tom Hanks’ feet once skipped over in Big… Mr. Hanks, you should have your feet bronzed for the honor.

[Photos: Splash News]



Presenting Best Week Ever Polls, where we ask you a question and then poll you on it. For our inaugural poll, we decided to choose a subject very close to our hearts. Goats. We love goats. Everything goat. And we thought, you know? There’s never been a poll about goats. Namely, which goat is the best goat? Prepare to make the most difficult decision you have ever had to make in your life…

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