Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim of Adult Swim’s Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! held their annual Comic-Con rebellion “Awesome-Con” over the weekend, temporarily drawing hundreds of Comic-Con faithful away from the Convention Center to a nearby park (the Comic-Con and Tim & Eric fanbases overlap? Who knewSARCASMSPLOSION)
Here’s video of Tim and Eric’s triumphant entrance onto the Awesome-Con stage. Can we get David Liebe Hart to introduce a State of the Union entrance one of these years?
Look at me in the TRENCHES to bring you firsthand coverage! I’m holding nine Pulizers as we speak. And I haven’t published the post yet, because I’m still writing these sentences. That’s how ground-breaking this footage is.
As for Awesome-Con itself, it was a fun time, though it wasn’t actually a Tim and Eric show; their live shows are meticulously scripted and costumed multimedia experiences, like the tv show with seventy billion fewer jumpcuts, but Awesome-Con consisted of a brief T&E introduction followed by the pair encouraging the audience in a wheelbarrow race and an egg toss, concluding with a costume contest. For people planning to go to future San Diego Comic-Cons, I highly recommend Awesome-Con to the Saturday afternoon alternative of not being able to get into anything or move. Also preferable to that? Anything. But seriously, it was fun.
If you’re ever planning to attend San Diego Comic-Con, here are ten things to keep in mind, learned firsthand from someone who’s been to the New York Con several times and still ended up vastly unprepared:
1. Everything Has A Line
Imagine a place where every event that occurs is a brand new Disney World roller coaster that just opened that morning, and if you do manage to arrive superhumanly early and wait out the line, you have an outside chance of possibly getting to ride that roller coaster, and also that roller coaster is the producer of Bones talking about what it’s like to hang out on set with T.J. Thyne.
When I got back to my hotel room afterward, there was a line for the minibar!!!!!! HEYYYYY I get no Comics respect I tell ya…
2. You Are Never Not Walking Into Someone’s Photo
Someone is perpetually taking a photo of whatever is behind you, at all times, no matter where you are located or in which direction you’re heading. If you use a urinal, you are peeing into someone’s photo. If you’re eating something, you are literally eating that person’s photo. This will happen to you, intentional or not.
The word “nerd” means something much, much more extreme when it’s uttered within the walls of Comic-Con. In casual conversation, we may refer to ourselves as “nerds” simply because we’ve seen the Star Wars films dozens of times, or because we eagerly anticipate upcoming superhero films, but at Comic-Con, nerdery reaches heights that are so extreme, so specific, and so impressively arcane, Comic-Con nerds deserve their own special distinction.
I’ve posted some more pics from Comic-Con 2010 in a list below in an attempt to illustrate the distinction between “Regular Nerds” and “Comic-Con Nerds”. Follow along –
Regular Nerds: Wait In Line To Meet The Avengers
Comic-Con Nerds: Wait In Line To Meet Sgt. Slaughter
Regular Nerds: Reference Star Trek
Comic-Con Nerds: Purchase Medical Officer-Themed Star Trek Portraits
Gonna go out on a limb here…
Security Guard: Sir, I’m sorry, you can’t be here, your cart is too big and people are trying to get autographs.
Dragon Cart Guy: I checked with the people in the front and they said it was fine!
Security Guard: I don’t know what to tell you, but you’re gonna have to get that thing out of here, it’s too big.
Dragon Cart Guy: I’m handicapped!
Security Guard: Yeah but your dragon isn’t handicapped.
[Continued x 15 minutes]
In a Comic-Con weekend full of blockbuster movie news and exclusive rumors galore, perhaps no news was bigger than this casting bombshell from the Scott Pilgrim panel –
Michael Cera revealed that he did not get the part of Captain America:
As likable as Mr. Cera may be, him playing Captain America would’ve just been totally absurd. He’s Canadian.
The Expendables Comic-Con panel was a dream come true for action movie fans (and bicep fetishists – I fall into the center of that Venn Diagram), featuring Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Couture, and Terry Crews, all ring-led by an absurdly excited, super-charismatic Sylvester Stallone.
As if that wasn’t enough, Bruce Willis then dropped by for a cameo appearance, delighting the crowd and taking the time to thank Stallone with some really rambly thank-yous. I’m not saying Willis sounds very drunk in this clip, because he doesn’t, I’m just suggesting that, Bruce Willis probably is drunk in this clip:
The only “what’d he just say?” moment that topped the Willis arrival was one of Stallone’s Q&A responses, when a fan asked him what it was like to shoot a movie in Brazil, and Stallone answered:
“Those people are awesome – a lot of the stuff you can do there you can’t do in the U.S., but they were like ‘sure, blow some sh*t up, kill some people, we don’t care, thanks for filming here, here’s a monkey!'”
“Here’s a monkey!” – That’s how Brazil thanks people. If you’re Brazilian and wish to disagree with Sylvester Stallone, be my guest, but in my eyes, Brazilian monkey-giving custom is now fact.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World director Edgar Wright invited his old Shaun of the Dead pals Simon Pegg and Nick Frost onstage at the Comic-Con 2010 Scott Pilgrim panel to announce some big news: They’ll both be appearing in the movie!
Wait, wait… might’ve mixed that up…
The Westboro Baptist Church graced Comic-Con 2010 with its presence on Thursday, apparently after determining that a communal pop culture celebration was as appropriate a time as any to bust out their “FAGS DOOM NATIONS” signs:
Fortunately, nerds responded en masse, staging a counter-protest against the protest by forming a much larger group and raising their own nerdier, far more amusing protests signs, including “God Loves Gay Robin,” “God Needs A Starship,” and “God Hates Sentries”:
Haven’t dusted off the ol’ “PWND” in a while, but really, has it ever been this applicable?
After the jump, a couple of my favorite individual protest signs from the afternoon:
In honor of Comic-Con, San Diego has translated the Convention Center trolley signs into Klingon:
Unfortunately, we’re multiple centuries away from the klingons striking peace with the Federation, so it’s likely this sign has doomed us all to hell. Though we will learn about the pros and cons of a warlike people that values honor to a fault while we’re being slaughtered.
On the plus side, I can use “Klingon trolley sign” as the first of my “You might be a Comic-Con if…” jokes, which I’m going to deliver in a southern accent and parlay into a 365-joke Page-A-Day calendar empire to set me up for retirement.
Ehh, guess that’s thinking more like a Ferengi. My bad. (WordPress just drew a red squiggly line under “Ferengi.” Nice try, WordPress, like you were sooooo cooooool in grade school you never learned that Ferengi was a word. You probably don’t think IDKFA is a word either, huh? You’re not coming with me tomorrow.)