The Spider-Man daily newspaper comic still exists and is new every day (I assumed they’d just been rerunning old panels since 1969), and our friend @natekushner drew our attention to yesterday’s actual Spider-Man newspaper comic, which features the creation of a new terrifying supervillain who’s certain to be a HUGE HIT.
This is the entire comic for the day, and may be the greatest two panels in the history of Marvel:
CLOWN NINE! Because he’s on Cloud Nine when he wears a clown suit! That is both Amazing and Spectacular (to put it in pun-terms that Clown Nine would appreciate).
Aaaand sure enough, here’s today’s pun-tastic follow-up comic. Needless to say, I will be continuing to read the Spider-Man newspaper comic every day until Clown Nine is defeated, or until Clown Nine defeats Spider-Man and takes over the comic and renames it “Clown Ten” because he’s even more on Cloud Nine. Tim Curry movie pending.
(via Van Full Of Werewolves)
A new study in which participants were asked to guess people’s age groups based on the scent of their t-shirt demonstrates that the odor the Japanese called “kareishu” and that your mom made you go wait in the car for pointing out at your grandpa’s house is, in fact, a real thing. Science: slowly but surely proving everything everyone already knows!
“This study shows you can’t fake it,” says study co-author Johan Lundstrom, an assistant professor at the Monell Chemical Senses Center and at Sweden’s Karolinska Institute. “If you walk around a corner, you don’t have to look at someone to know they’re older; you can just sniff them out.”
And will! Not only that, but everyone loves old person smell: “Intriguingly, the volunteers scored old people’s odors highest for pleasantness and lowest for intensity.” Intriguing indeed! Just don’t, you know, point it out. Scientifically, there’s really just no need.
So, what’s the dumbest photo of YOU on Facebook? I’ll bet it’s pretty dumb, but not quite as dumb as this photo of Ayub Hagos, a reported drug dealer in Britain who was arrested for heroin and crack possession, plead not-guilty, then changed his plea after police found a number of photos on his phone of Hagos holding a bag of cocaine in his mouth and fanning 20-Pound-Notes while wearing a crown of money:
According to Splash News: “Ayub Hagos took the photo of himself on his mobile phone along with other images including piles of cash, guns, knives and white powder.” He also had several photos of him flexing his abs in the mirror with heroin lining the cracks of his six-pack, and emailed 34 d*ck pics to various girls with the words “I AM SMOKING CRACK RIGHT NOW” drawn on his shaft along with an arrow pointing upwards at himself at a bunch of crack he’s holding.
Long story short, I’m no longer embarrassed of that one Facebook pic where I’m slightly squinting and look a little stupid. (Full Disclosure: I am still super embarrassed of every Facebook pic ever taken, I just lied briefly to complete that joke)
A Reddit user spotted this sign at a gas station – it’s both an amusing throwaway gag from messing-around employees, as well as an oddly succinct rumination on humanity as a whole:
If you think this sign encapsulates the internal dilemma of human existence better than any hastily-scribbled gas station gag sign ever could, then you won’t want to even IMAGINE the sign next to the different flavors of Doritos…
Dubai, in its ongoing effort to be the most Dubai, announced plans for a new $120-million “Hotel Dream,” an underwater luxury resort comprised of retractable room-discs that can move above or below sea level while you’re getting blown by a golden robot moneyhooker (the last part wasn’t mentioned in the article but implied).
Check out the luxury hotel / ideal Bond villain lair in simulated operation in the video below. Also, the Swiss firm designing it is literally called “BIG InvestConsult”, because they’re a f***ing Dilbert comic:
Dinosaurs and farts are some of our planet’s most prized possessions. I don’t know what we would do if we learned that one was responsible for the death of the other. Luckily for us, reports of a mass dinosaur extinction cause by their terrible lizard farts have been greatly exaggerated. After a study published in Current Biology by researchers at Liverpool John Moores University claimed that dino burps and farts probably contributed to climate change, some extrapolated that it must have been that poo gas-induced climate change that killed the dinosaurs. However!
“The paper makes no such claim, instead suggesting that the mass of herbivores during the Mesozoic would have made a substantial, but stable, contribution of greenhouse gases to the atmosphere that may have been partially responsible for the warmer, moister climate of the era and the greater primary production,” points out University of Minnesota biology professor Paul Myers.
See? Just because dinosaurs spent their days choking on their super-farts does not mean they weren’t ultimately killed by an enormous meteor. Hurray! I guess what I’m hearing is, as long as some gigantic space rock slams into us first, there’s almost no way we could get around to ruining the environment with our Taco Bell farts. Yeah! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
(The Daily Beast via Newsweek.tumblr.com)
Patricia Krentcil, the New Jersey tanning mom who achieved internet infamy last week, now has her likeness captured in toy form with this new $29.95 Patricia Krentcil action figure:
They clearly just took an orange crayon to some leftover Vince Neil action figures, but I guess they were on a bit of a time crunch to get this thing out while it was still topical, and they only missed that cutoff by however long it’s been since ten minutes after that story initially broke.
(pic via Splash News)
WAIT! Don’t shut the internet off yet, here’s one more cool thing! Artist David Waller made a humungous rainbow out of 6,000 colorful toy cars he’s collected since his childhood –
Click for giant version:
Cool rainbow car ring, guy who made that rainbow car ring!
Two more pics of the car-rainbow-ring are after the jump, and then you can go ahead and shut the internet off forever – we just had to sneak this one more thing in at the last minute (bye, internet! I’ll miss your Fantasy Football post-it-notes):
13-year-old Benjamin Lerman Coady visited New York’s Metropolitan Museum Of Art (or as us locals call it, “The Mart”), and noticed a factual mistake in one of the exhibits, eventually succeeding in getting the Museum to correct the error (WHO NERDS THE NERD-MEN???):
The Connecticut seventh-grader and history buff was checking out a permanent exhibit on the Byzantine Empire when he spotted the problem: A map that purported to show the empire at its height was missing Spain and a section of Africa…
After several months, he got an email from the Byzantine art curator. “You are, of course, correct,” it said.
Haha, love how the curator had to save face in her email, like “WELLOBVIOUSLY yeah we know that’s correct, must’ve been a printer mistake but obviously yeah we knew that yup” [Puffs professor pipe shaped like Byzantine Empire]
Still, way to go, kid! You successfully out-nerded the Met curators, which is no small feat. You and 13-year-old me should definitely hang out and air-guitar some Rush while correcting each other about the proper names of Mega Man enemies.
What does the future hold for young Benjamin?
He may have “the makings of a young historian,” she notes. But he has different plans: “I want to move to Greenwich and open a modern exotic car shop.”
CLASSIC teenager phase.
The cover of the Living section of this weekend’s Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:
Ohhhh, “SUIT” Yourself. Like, put on a bathing suit. THEN sh*t yourself once you’re in the pool. I was really confused for a second.
(via here and here)