With all the anxiety, frustration, and sadness that accompanies the end of football season (that new Madonna song is STILL stuck in my head), let’s bid farewell to the 2011-12 NFL Year on a – ugghhh this is hard – positive note.
Swallowing our pride and our own football disappointments, let’s all bask in this list of 5 Very Adorable Photos From The Giants’ Victory Parade (Click Any For Full Size):
No relation to Sir Not Appearing In This Film.
Truly our generation’s Willow Smith.
Because most of our NFL teams were already eliminated long before Sunday (The Jaguars’ season actually ended in 2008), the only genuine joy many of us could experience during the Super Bowl was the perverse but universal sports-fan delight of watching another team fail.
In order to prolong this irrational schadenfreude as long as possible while also continuing to not think about our own teams’ earlier failures (this is how I remember the Steelers/Broncos game), enjoy these 12 Photos Of Tom Brady, Super Bowl Loser:
With Super Bowl 46 looming and yet another team & fanbase about to be crushed in that deflating way that only losing a Super Bowl can provide, let’s take a brief, cathartically-sad trip through the Super Bowl depression of yesteryear with this list of The 46 Most Depressing Photos Of People Losing The Super Bowl.
Behold, the singular deflation of players, coaches and fans photographed right after losing the big game, reminding us again that the pain of losing a Super Bowl may be unique, but it’s also universal. Especially if you’re from Buffalo:
It’s Groundhog Day, and we on the internet are struggling to greet this holiday the same way we greet every holiday: With themed, numbered lists blatantly designed to capitalize on otherwise extremely minor events (think 11/11/11). Rather than conceding that there just aren’t many Groundhog Day related things and miss this golden opportunity, we have instead spent the day doing intensive pop culture research and engaging in passionate staff debates to come up with the following informative list that you should totally send to all your friends.
Behold, The Top 2 Groundhog-Day-Related Movies In Cinematic History:
2. Groundhog Day
This Bill Murray / Andie MacDowell classic functions expertly as an enjoyable, watchable comedy and as an insightful philosophical exploration of fate, love, inevitability, and self-betterment. It is, in our personal estimation, unquestionably one of the greatest films ever made about the holiday Groundhog Day.
And the #1 Groundhog Day-related movie of all time is……….
I’m not excited whatsoever for Madonna’s Super Bowl Halftime Show. Not because I dislike Madonna or think that she’ll do a bad job; on the contrary, I’m sure she’ll play the hits and bring out A-list special guests galore and make a giant entertaining spectacle and it’ll all be completely polished and well-done.
The only problem is, there’s nothing memorable or transcendent about ‘good’ Super Bowl Halftime Shows. Prince and Bruce Springsteen each did about as well as a Super Bowl performer could possibly aim for, and both performances still boiled down to just 12 pretty good minutes from musicians whose fans have assuredly seen them do far better 2-3 hour concerts on other occasions. The biggest standout moment was still Springsteen sliding into the camera.
The only time we remember a Super Bowl Halftime Show is when it is memorably bad. That is to say, not Black Eyed Peas “boring bad,” but rather, something so creatively ill-conceived and lame on the massive, sprawling scale that only Super Bowl Halftime Shows can provide, that we can’t help but be entertained, if for the wrong reasons. With that in mind, here’s a look back through the Glory Days of the terrible Super Bowl Halftime Show with this list of The 10 Most Awesomely Terrible Super Bowl Halftime Shows Of All Time:
10. Super Bowl 31, 1997: The New Blues Brothers with James Brown and ZZ Top
HELLOOOOOO Louisiana Superdooooomeeeee!!! Please welcome the Godfathers of New Orleans music: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi and John Goodman!!! Wait, James Brown? That’s not so ba- oop, ZZ Top. Soulful! Definitely worthy of a Fox ‘Special Report’:
This excerpt unfortunately cuts off before ZZ Top’s legendary soulful contribution. And before David Cross hops up onstage with Jim Belushi.
Paris Fashion Week just wrapped up, so let’s take a second to check out some of the stylish, practical outfits that reasonable humans will definitely be wearing by 2013. Here, in order of least most ridiculous to equally most ridiculous, are The 50 Most Ridiculous Outfits From Paris Fashion Week 2012 (semi-NSFW):
With Super Bowl 46 just around the corner, we at BWE felt obligated to give you our exclusive insight into the captivating New York Giants / New England Patriots matchup, but rather than bore you with the same old tired “actual football analysis” that we’ll all get sick of in the next week (then get sick of people complaining about being sick of it), we’ve broken the Giants / Patriots matchup down in a far more amusing (and some would say “more meaningful” and be wrong) way: Figuring out which team’s craziest fans are indeed the craziest.
We’ve broken the Giants/Patriots fan-ridiculousness into Seven Thematic Categories, which we’ll analyze very non-arbitrarily based on a couple random photos in each category. Without further football-adieu (couldn’t think of a pun there), let’s answer the question – Giants VS Patriots: Which Super Bowl Team’s Fans Are More Awesomely Ridiculous?
Category 1: Unnecessarily Creepy Costumes
Verdict: Giants. The Patriots “Saw” fan certainly scores creepy points with his “Death looking out at you from the Sistine Chapel wall” gaze, but he’s also wearing a store-bought mask, whereas those two Giants guys look like they might actually abduct you and torture you with some sort of elaborately brutal scenario to make you appreciate life (followed by 9 sequels). Edge goes to creativity + plausibility(-of-actual-murder).
Animal Planet just announced the official starting lineup for Puppy Bowl VIII – we’re still more than two weeks away from the biggest sporting event of the year, but that won’t stop us from LETTING THE CUTE DEBATES BEGIN!
Here’s a sneak peek of our 10 Favorite Players From The 2012 Puppy Bowl, ranked in order of cuteness. It’s not an exact science, we know – it’s more of a puppularity contest:
10. Eurika, Chihuahua / Terrier Mix
9. Calvin, Dachshund
Who cares if English-language Wikipedia is down for 24 hours? Don’t let that stop you from your daily procrastination – everything you’d ever need to look up on Wikipedia is still there, it’s just written in foreign languages that you probably can’t read, which makes them EVEN BETTER FOR PROCRASTINATION.
To keep your workday random and unproductive, here’s everything you need from Wikipedia on 20 Non English Wikipedias That Are Still Working.
Click Any For Full Size:
From drool-inducing deliciousness to pop-culture-turned-edible to things that were just weird, 2011 was a landmark year for crazy foods showing up on the internet and causing our jaws to drop from shock and/or willingness to consume them. In honor of these culinary masterpieces and other bizarre food-related occurrences, here’s our incredibly edible list of The 25 Most Incredible Foods Of 2011.
Click on any food-title for additional photos, descriptions, and terrible jokes:
25. Wu-Tang Flan
A pop-culinary no-brainer that truly embodies the spirit of C.R.E.A.M. (Custard Rules Everything Around Me)
24. Taco Bell Dorito Taco
The long-awaited Watch The Throne of inebriated snack foods:
23. Ketchup Fountain
So, so gross and yet so, so necessary: