Lists

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10 Cool Looking Sand Sculptures From A Sand Festival Or Something

Here’s 10 elaborate, cool-looking sand sculptures from the annual Sand Sculpture Festival in the U.K. town of Weston-super-Mare (way to name your town, that town.)

Lacking the proper Sexpertise (sand expertise – not sex related) to make any constructive comment about sand sculptures other than “whoa check out these sand sculptures!”, I’ll step aside and simply say “check out these sand sculptures!”

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8 Easy Ways For Two And A Half Men To Kill Off Charlie Sheen

TMZ reports that Two And A Half Men will kill off Charlie Sheen’s Charlie Harper character next season, thus eliminating any chance of the character’s eventual return (barring an Arthur 2 ghost-butler scenario).

Since we’d be more than happy to help accelerate this show’s impending demise, here’s a list of 8 Simple Ways For Two And Half Men To Kill Off Charlie Sheen. The scenarios borrow SLIGHTLY from past sitcom lore, but that hasn’t stopped this show before, so any of these should work perfectly.

1. Charlie Dies While Bungee Jumping, a la Fresh Prince

Charlie’s all like, “Hey I’m gonna go bungee jumping to impress this one chick” and Jon Cryer’s like “you can’t even SPELL ‘bungee’” then this happens (click the pic to play):

Boom. Done. Ashton enters in the next scene and is like “I’m here now!”

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9 Celebrity Feuds More Random Than Roger Ebert Vs. Bam Margera

Following the death of Jackass co-star Ryan Dunn in an alleged drunk driving incident, Roger Ebert Tweeted “Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.” This prompted a venomous response from Dunn’s Jackass colleague Bam Margera, who shot back “Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f**king mouth!”, which then prompted Ebert to clarify his statement. We’ll never truly know what Ebert or Bam were genuinely thinking when they wrote their Tweets, but I think we can all agree on one thing: I never expected a public feud between Roger Ebert and Bam Margera.

However, a quick trip down Celebmory Lane (free title for a VH1 show if anyone wants it!) reveals that Ebert/Margera is actually just the latest in a long line of really, really random celebrity feuds that constantly beg the question “Why were these two people even associating with one another, let alone publicly fighting?” Here are 9 More Super-Random Celebrity Feuds, each one of which will surely prompt you to agree, “This was definitely a rational and necessary dispute.”

9. Milton Berle vs. RuPaul

This unlikely duo, the epitome of the inexplicably thrown-together award show pairing (that dude used to wear dresses too! Toss ‘em together!), got into an even more unlikely scuffle at the 1993 MTV VMAs:

The two had conflicts back-stage, and when Berle inappropriately touched RuPaul’s breasts, RuPaul ad-libbed the line “So you used to wear gowns, but now you’re wearing diapers.” A surprised Berle replied, “Oh, we’re going to ad lib? I’ll check my brain and we’ll start even.”

Dang. “Guess we better cancel all those upcoming RuPaul & Milton Berle joint projects.” – Hollywood Right After This Happened

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A Definitive Timeline Of Anthony Weiner Pun Headlines

New York tabloids have been have been going predictably nuts (nuts! lol) for the past two weeks of Anthony Weiner news; as the NY congressman continued to lob them softballs right down the middle (soft balls!), the New York Post and the New York Daily News have matched every lascivious Weiner tidbit with a fittingly sophomoric but necessary (and amusing) Weiner-related headline.

From WEINER ROAST to OBAMA BEATS WEINER, here’s a Definitive Timeline Of Anthony Weiner Headlines On New York Tabloid Covers over the past two weeks.

Click After The Jump To View The Timeline:

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6 Younger, Hipper Prequels That Need To Happen

X-Men: First Class is already getting rave reviews and looks like it’ll certainly put the “X” in “June BoX Office” (which is good because it’s a weird phrase otherwise). In this era of nonstop sequels and reboots, the X-Franchise may have found a perfect loophole: Instead of trying to match or exceed the expectations of your franchise’s previous films, just completely start over and skew way younger.

In honor of XM1stC (our young, hip name for it), here are 6 More Younger, Hipper Prequels We’d Like To $ee (dollar sign for all the money these will inevitably make):

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5 Dramatic Themes Explored In Candy Land

The lovable children’s board game Candy Land is the latest Hasbro property to get the feature film treatment, with Universal scriptwriters declaring this week that the forthcoming Candy Land Movie would be “Lord Of The Rings with candy.”

Before we rush to make fun of this statement (which we should a lot), I will point out that the idea of a very epic, grown-up adaptation of Candy Land isn’t necessarily ludicrous, because the original boardgame — despite its colorful candy-coated facade — is actually rife with dramatic themes that could translate to the big screen deliciously.

Here’s a list of 5 Dramatic Themes Explored In The Candy Land Board Game that should be incorporated into the movie:

1. Class Structure

In the candy world, not only do they still recognize divine right at the expense of any legitimately democratic system, but they also clearly delineate between the value of different human beings. Down at the bottom of the board, you’ve got a class of laborers: Mister Mint the lumberjack, Plumpy the migrant farmworker, and Jolly, an androgynous jesterlike blob whose exact profession is unclear but who definitely does not come from money.

On the top? PRINCESS Lolly, QUEEN Frostine, and the ultimate goal, KING Kandy. Children are conditioned to aspire towards the royals like Queen Frostine, and unleash their early attempts at kid-swearing whenever they draw Plumpy’s enraging, sh*t-eating smirk.

A dramatic Candy Land film could illustrate this clear, seemingly ignored disparity between the have-castles-made-of-candy and the have-nots in a way which films like Titanic, On The Waterfront, and Lady & The Tramp never could: with 3-D peanut brittle.

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10 Photos Of Gene Simmons Living In The Real World

Noted demon Gene Simmons blasted Barack Obama yesterday over his recent comments about Israel’s borders, telling CNBC “He has no f***ing idea what the world is like because he doesn’t have to live there.”

While we certainly have no interest in delving into a foreign policy debate here on our little rainbow-colored catworld, especially one that’s been going on for three billion years, I think we can all agree on one aspect of those comments: Gene Simmons definitely knows what it’s like to live in the real world.

Below are 10 photos of Gene Simmons real worldin’ it up. Take note Obama, you clueless aristocrat — this is how THE WORLD lives:

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