Lists

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AWWW, F**K: 12 Adorable Videos Of Kids Swearing

Videos of babies cursing comprise one of the more surprisingly common viral video genres, but, like all truly great organic viral trends, the videos are so consistently funny and adorable, they’re immune to “another one of these?” criticism.

To commemorate National Swearing Week (I made that the f**k up), here’s a cute yet technically NSFW restrospective of 12 Adorable Videos Of Kids Swearing:

1. Kick The Monster’s Ask

Bad news, monsters.

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7 Absurd Medical Dramas We’d Actually Watch

With the rise of shows like Off The Map and Combat Hospital, the days are clearly numbered for boring old super-dramatic shows about hot doctors f***ing in REGULAR HOSPITALS. Instead, television is issuing in a new wave of super-dramatic shows about hot doctors f***ing in CRAZY, NON-REGULAR PLACES, so we can all experience the same realistic doctor-f***ing and people getting bombs shot into them in new and exciting ways!

To keep this trend moving, here’s a list of ideas for 7 Absurd Medical Dramas We’d Actually Watch. I think we can all agree: The days of medical dramas taking place in stupid old HOSPITALS is long gone. Psh…Hospitals. So 90s!

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10 Really Bat Taglines For The Dark Knight Rises

The first official poster for The Dark Knight Rises came out today, and while it’s obviously very cool looking, it also completely lacks any punny, faux-intense bat-related taglines to convince all of us that it’s worth seeing. Who wants to see an almost certainly very awesome sequel to two really awesome movies if it… [shudder]… doesn’t have a wacky tagline?

To help Christopher Nolan ensure that this tagline-free monstrosity doesn’t horribly flop, we’ve come up with these 10 Taglines For The Dark Knight Rises. Don’t want to steal any credit here, but I think we’ve ensured that the movie will be good now:

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5 Legitimate Reasons To Protest Zookeeper

PETA is protesting the premiere of Kevin James’ new CGI’d monkey-fart Zookeeper to “send a message to Hollywood that audiences care about what happens to these animals behind the scenes,” even though the film’s director insists “I am completely secure with what happened on our set and believe we did everything we could to treat the animals well.”

Even if we disregard the animal welfare debate, however, there are still PLENTY of reasons to be mad at Zookeeper. While I hate judging even obviously-bad kids’ movies before seeing them, the evidence here is pretty overwhelming — here are Five Legitimate Reasons To Protest The Movie Zookeeper:

1. This Screen

2. This Clip

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10 Cool Looking Sand Sculptures From A Sand Festival Or Something

Here’s 10 elaborate, cool-looking sand sculptures from the annual Sand Sculpture Festival in the U.K. town of Weston-super-Mare (way to name your town, that town.)

Lacking the proper Sexpertise (sand expertise – not sex related) to make any constructive comment about sand sculptures other than “whoa check out these sand sculptures!”, I’ll step aside and simply say “check out these sand sculptures!”

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8 Easy Ways For Two And A Half Men To Kill Off Charlie Sheen

TMZ reports that Two And A Half Men will kill off Charlie Sheen’s Charlie Harper character next season, thus eliminating any chance of the character’s eventual return (barring an Arthur 2 ghost-butler scenario).

Since we’d be more than happy to help accelerate this show’s impending demise, here’s a list of 8 Simple Ways For Two And Half Men To Kill Off Charlie Sheen. The scenarios borrow SLIGHTLY from past sitcom lore, but that hasn’t stopped this show before, so any of these should work perfectly.

1. Charlie Dies While Bungee Jumping, a la Fresh Prince

Charlie’s all like, “Hey I’m gonna go bungee jumping to impress this one chick” and Jon Cryer’s like “you can’t even SPELL ‘bungee’” then this happens (click the pic to play):

Boom. Done. Ashton enters in the next scene and is like “I’m here now!”

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9 Celebrity Feuds More Random Than Roger Ebert Vs. Bam Margera

Following the death of Jackass co-star Ryan Dunn in an alleged drunk driving incident, Roger Ebert Tweeted “Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.” This prompted a venomous response from Dunn’s Jackass colleague Bam Margera, who shot back “Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f**king mouth!”, which then prompted Ebert to clarify his statement. We’ll never truly know what Ebert or Bam were genuinely thinking when they wrote their Tweets, but I think we can all agree on one thing: I never expected a public feud between Roger Ebert and Bam Margera.

However, a quick trip down Celebmory Lane (free title for a VH1 show if anyone wants it!) reveals that Ebert/Margera is actually just the latest in a long line of really, really random celebrity feuds that constantly beg the question “Why were these two people even associating with one another, let alone publicly fighting?” Here are 9 More Super-Random Celebrity Feuds, each one of which will surely prompt you to agree, “This was definitely a rational and necessary dispute.”

9. Milton Berle vs. RuPaul

This unlikely duo, the epitome of the inexplicably thrown-together award show pairing (that dude used to wear dresses too! Toss ‘em together!), got into an even more unlikely scuffle at the 1993 MTV VMAs:

The two had conflicts back-stage, and when Berle inappropriately touched RuPaul’s breasts, RuPaul ad-libbed the line “So you used to wear gowns, but now you’re wearing diapers.” A surprised Berle replied, “Oh, we’re going to ad lib? I’ll check my brain and we’ll start even.”

Dang. “Guess we better cancel all those upcoming RuPaul & Milton Berle joint projects.” – Hollywood Right After This Happened

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51 Animals Celebrating Father’s Day

This Sunday, millions of families all across America will wake up, go to lunch, probably fight, and have a silent car ride home all thanks to a little holiday known as Father’s Day, where we honor the men in our lives who have probably raised us (or not, whichever) and made us the fantastic people we are today. Dads are great! They like food, sports, and killing bugs when necessary.

So how does one honor their dear Father? With a tie? A book? Some meat? Nah, your Dad already has all of that stuff. But you know what your Dad probably doesn’t have and would really love? A list of 51 Animals Celebrating Father’s Day. And the best part? It’s totally free! All you have to do is e-mail it. To your Dad! Or whoever! It’s that simple. What better way to say “Happy Father’s Day” then with a giant list of animals dressed up like Dad? The answer is no better way. Enjoy and Happy Father’s Day!

51.

50.

49.

48.

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A Definitive Timeline Of Anthony Weiner Pun Headlines

New York tabloids have been have been going predictably nuts (nuts! lol) for the past two weeks of Anthony Weiner news; as the NY congressman continued to lob them softballs right down the middle (soft balls!), the New York Post and the New York Daily News have matched every lascivious Weiner tidbit with a fittingly sophomoric but necessary (and amusing) Weiner-related headline.

From WEINER ROAST to OBAMA BEATS WEINER, here’s a Definitive Timeline Of Anthony Weiner Headlines On New York Tabloid Covers over the past two weeks.

Click After The Jump To View The Timeline:

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