(Note: This post will be much more enjoyable if read while wearing your favorite 1989 Meshach Taylor/Summer School sunglasses.)
The Mayercraft Carrier so far is going swimmingly… not literally, of course, as in that case we would be sinking. On Saturday, the boat docked in the Bahamas, and the BWE crew took a break from the slowest internet connection on the planet to head over to a pretty spectacular beach in order to work on our sunglasses tan. On the way over to the beach, we shared a van with two soccer-mommish ladies from Lincoln, Nebraska, who were in better moods than we had ever been in our entire lives. The conversation began innocently enough — talk of locations, cruise food, etc. — but quickly devolved into the most base of exchanges: What Does John Mayer‘s Ass Look Like? The gals from Nebraska quickly intimated that his ass is probably kind of flat, while I personally took the high road, instead discussing what Jon Bon Jovi’s ass looks like (two baby apples in a pleather sack, for the record.) Nebraska Mom #1 settled the argument by saying “Who cares what his ass looks like? It’s what those lips can do that I care about!” and then shrieked with laughter for the remainder of the trip, while the rest of the van learned the definition of “collective shudder.”
4 hours of beach time tucked firmly under our sunburns — and 15 minutes of myself and Brian Faas realizing that “Ocean Trampoline” is actually code for “Quick and Bloodless Death” — we realized we had to get back to the ship in order to prepare for our most anticipated event of the weekend… THE 80s PROM!
When I first learned that there was to be an 80s Prom on board the Mayercraft, I immediately broke down sobbing, got into a fight with my best friend, ate 300 hors dourves off the nearest table, and promptly lost my virginity to the captain of the lacrosse team… THAT is how excited I was! And folks, the people on board did NOT let me down — folks broke out their most convincing, mind-boggling puff-sleeved dresses and tuxedos in order to remember just how unflattering that decade was. Check out this group of people eating dinner next to us:

It was the Bat Mitzvah I never had, but always dreamed of!
After the jump: Many more on board antics! Photos! Oh, and the laughs. Click to keep reading.
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