Randomness

by (@hallekiefer)

It Seems Yankee Candle Forgot A Few Important Scents In Its Man Candle Line

Yankee Candle Man Candle Line
Yankee Candle debuted its new Man Candle line recently (and finally!) for everyone in your life with a Y chromosome whose hairy, testosterone-filled body rejects the smell of vanilla or lavender. So far their selection is really bringing the heat (candle joke!) with current scents like Riding Mower (fresh-cut grass), First Down (leather) and Man Town (musk)(which is a little on the nose), but I noticed a few gaps in their odor portfolio. Feel free to use my suggestions, Mr. Yankee or Mr. Candle!

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Maurice Sendak Tribute Mural Is Wildly Excellent

It’s been a couple days since the passing of Where The Wild Things Are author Maurice Sendak, and in the interest of “ok, now we’re ready for a happy thing,” check out this Sendak tribute-mural from Widen + Kennedy in Portland:

The space comes complete with a cardboard Max cutout encouraging patrons to “play Max,” as if we didn’t already do that 8,000 times in our heads when reading that book when we were little. Only in my version, the Ninja Turtles and Grimlock were also hanging out with the Wild Things and we all ate chicken fingers and watched Ninja Turtles (then the Turtles were like “Whoa, that’s our lives, dudes!” and their minds shattered with paradox.)

(My Modern Met, via The Daily What)

by (@unclegrambo)

American Strippers Could Learn A Lot About Pole Dancing From These Young Indian Fellows

Talk about a “Jai Ho“! (Slumdog Millionaire jokes are still in, right?) Here’s hoping that the next generation of young, American pole dancers — be they boys or girls, we support equal employment opportunities for strippers of all genders! — put away their tattered copies of Showgirls, Striptease and American Anthem and instead start drawing their inspirado from these outrageously gifted Indian gents. Eat your heart out, Mitch Gaylord!

[Tip of the cap to our buddy Reihan Salam]

by (@unclegrambo)

The KFC Double Down “Sandwich”: Revealed and Reviewed!

Your loyal and friendly (if not necessarily health conscious) staff here at BWE.tv have had the date April 12 circled on our calendars for some time now. No, not because Two And A Half Men is returning from a brief hiatus; rather, because it was the day that Colonel Sanders’s glorious vision would at last come true. Finally, the world would move past its childish fascination with loaves of bread and realize that, once and for all, all sandwiches should be cased within two pieces of fried chicken!

Yes, that’s right, today marks the day that KFC unleashed the Double Down sandwich upon this God-fearing nation of ours. And being the gluttons for punishment that we are, we trudged through waves upon waves of unwashed tourists in Times Square en route to ordering up one of these calorie-laden masterpieces. Follow along, if you dare, for our review.

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VIDEO: Small Town Animals Try To Make It In The Big City

It’s only Tuesday, and we have already been graced with two videos of animals who think they’re people. I wish every week started out like this.

First, can a pigeon really juggle a career AND find love? This fall on FOX, one bird proves it takes more than wings to get to the top and have it all! [via Buzzfeed]

The fact that the pigeon is nonchalantly riding the subway isn’t even the most impressive part. What got me is that the bird gave up its seat to an elderly woman. That bird has manners.

After the jump, see video of the coyote that is rumored to be the new head of the NYC Parks Department.

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Forget New Orleans… The German Stock Market Was The Place To Be On Fat Tuesday

Some of you may be nursing a wicked hangover from yesterday’s festivities related to Mardi Gras or Carnival or the Women’s Curling Round Robin. However, unless you were working on the German Stock Exchange, your party was complete amateur hour.

Look how much fun they’re having? Who needs beads and topless women when you can do a conga line while buying 10,000 shares of… well something German I suppose. Schnitzel? The band Rammstein? Anyway, moving on… Here is what you missed:

Do those German realize that the graph behind them is completely tanking? Did the entire German economy collapse yesterday because everyone was too busy partying like they’re at a bad sorority Halloween mixer? Maybe Wall Street should take a page from the Germans and enact year-round Carnival work environment. If the whole financial system implodes again, we get to see pictures of funny clowns gasping in horror.

See more of the German party fun time after the jump

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Who Needs A Job When You Have A Massive Party Igloo?

Jimmy Grey Jr. may be unemployed, but that didn’t stop him from building a 600 square foot igloo complete with a home theater inside. He is basically living in a Bud Light commercial now. Be careful, though, Jimmy. Those ads usually end in someone getting kicked in the nuts or electrocuted. Actually, I hope some potential employers watch this video, because any man who would put off tweaking his resume to install electrical components in to a house made entirely of water is a man you want on your team.

Jimmy has this recession thing all figured out. I’d love to see a bank try to foreclose on this thing come April. Someone get a New Yorker cartoonist on the line, stat.

This guy makes me feel lazy. The most ambitious snow construction I’ve ever undertaken is making this replica of the Four Toed Statue from Lost:

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Finally, A Spokeperson We Can Get Behind

CAMILLA-DONKEY-BOWLED

We have no idea what, exactly, Camilla Parker Bowles is speaking about. What we do know is that it’s on behalf of a giant, bandana-wearing donkey. And if ever there was a more perfect match, we certainly don’t want to know about it.

(Fine, if you really care, she was speaking on behalf of her animal welfare charity. But really, of all the animals??? PS: Never Forget:)

CAMILLA-CHARLES-HORSE

For more HILARIOUS Camilla horse pics, click here.

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5 Casting Suggestions For Next Season’s Heroes

Heroes seems to be running out of compelling superpowers to give their characters these days, so while they’re on hiatus during the writers strike, perhaps they should take a gander at these REAL super-heroes with REAL super-powers our friend Matt Yule from Citizen Hero found for us on MySpace. They’re all pretty super.

5. ENTOMO THE INSECTMAN
ENTOMO THE INSECTMANMale, 30 years old
Hometown: Naples, Italy
Catchphrase: “I inject justice.”
Fights for: The balance between enthalpy and entropy.
Best blog moment: “Why the new generations of human boys do not spend their time searching for some decent girlfriends, anyway?”
Status: Swinger

4. MASKED BIRD
Masked BirdMale, 37 years old
Hometown: Linden, New Jersey
Catchphrase: “If life throws you a locked door, use your skills to open it. For if you don’t, you will not advance. If you Fail, just look for another one.”
Fights for: The right to wear masks in public.
Best blog moment: “I remember walking up to this kid, in a very calm manner. And then suddenly grab his shirt, while punching him with my right hand. Right into his face. I did not stop for at least three minutes.”
Virtual pet: Tiger
3. THE OWL
The OwlMale, 16 years old
Hometown: Gilbert, Arizona
Catchphrase: “I hear not what is being said, but what is hidden.”
Fights for: Something that will really help others, be it perhaps Humans, or maybe animals.
Best blog moment: “I’m pretty young, and short.”
Mood: indescribable
2. DR. PRESENZA
Dr. PresenzaMale, 99 years old
Hometown: Naples, Italy
Catchphrase: The riflex in the mirror. I’M THERE.
Fights for: …honest people and their overlooked rights. Period.
Best blog moment: “I’m either an excellent thinker and a rudimentary fighter.”
About me: made with the Cosmoedit MySpace Editor
1. MASTER LEGEND
Master LegendMale, 41 years old
Hometown: Winter Park, Florida
Catchphrase: “BY THE GODS ! ”
Fights to: …save the world from the evil that is devouring it.
Best blog moment: “i then judo flipped him into the urinal tank. keep in mind this happened in micro seconds , i am very fast.”
Children: Proud parent