Sports

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All The Besties At The ESPYS

Last night Jon Hamm hosted the 2013 ESPY Awards, which honors individual athletes and teams for outstanding achievements in sports and athletics. The annual event presented by ESPN tends to draw everyone from NFL stars to SNL actors. That’s right everyone is there: LeBron James, Jon Hamm, P. Diddy, Maria Sharapova, and the list goes on. Check out all the folks who became best friends if only for one night.

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Who Needs The Triple Crown When We Have “Horses’ Day Off”?

Horses Day Off

I’ll Have Another, the horse that won both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, officially withdrew from the Belmont Stakes for precautionary reasons, ending his bid to be the sport’s first Triple Crown winner in 34 years.

On the plus side, I’ll Have Another is officially now retired, and his fellow horses took him out for a night on the town to cheer him up. I don’t know how or why this video exists, but it is outstanding:

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This Roy Halladay Bobblehead Is The Worst Bobblehead Ever Made

We’ve seen some sh*tty bobbleheads in the past, but this recently-recalled bobblehead of Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay is just on another level of hilarious/confusing badness.

Take a look and give it a second, then go “zuwhaa?”:

Roy Halladay Bobblehead Error

Forget the fact that it doesn’t look like Roy Halladay or that Halladay throws right-handed and this thing is holding the ball with its left – those are AMATEUR sh*tty bobblehead mistakes. What really makes this one exceptional is the fact that regardless of his handedness, NO ONE IN BASEBALL EVER DOES THIS IN A GAME EVER.

Why is he winding up the opposite way of where he’s throwing (With his wrong hand)? They’ve been making Bobbleheads for like 80 years (ever since that President Taft bobblehead, which was just President Taft), clearly they understand how baseball throwing operates – how did this one turn into some frickin’ M.C. Escher impossible-figure?

Speaking of which, do they make M.C. Echer bobbleheads? Cause if not, I’ve got 900,000 high school geometry teachers who are about to mail me their cash.

(via Zoo With Roy)

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NBA Player’s Head Makes Way-Too-Perfect Cake

If there’s one thing we here on the internet can’t get enough of, it’s THINGS turned into OTHER THINGS. For example: Office Space…Laser rice? DONE. Photo. Internet. We all have some laughs.

Today’s excellent “thing as a thing” is a birthday cake made in the shape of Oklahoma City Thunder guard James Harden’s head, and it’s great:

James Harden Head Cake

Is it bad luck to turn your face into a cake in the middle of the playoffs, or am I thinking of pies? Never mind, I’m thinking of pies. I’m always thinking of pies. I want some pie.

(via Ball Don’t Lie)

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The Most Awesomely 90s Back Tattoo Of All Time

Anyone been watching the NBA Playoffs? Have you been “cheering” for your team, like some fairweather bandwagoner who only uses their voice and hands to cheer for things, instead of getting a massive tattoo of two players across your entire back?

Behold, this giant Michael Jordan / Dennis Rodman back tattoo, which may be the most impressively 90s tattoo of all time:

Yup, that’s the coolest back in 90s history. Unless you can find me a tattoo of Sonic the Hedgehog wearing a Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket skateboarding up the Double Dare Sundae Slide, in which case, that would take the crown and also start putting that on my flesh asap.

(via Ball Don’t Lie)

by (@hallekiefer)

South Korean Worst First Pitch Is What Your First Pitch Would Look Like, Let’s Be Honest

Okay, sure, we all enjoy someone botching a first pitch. For example, South Korean pop star Jessica from the girl group SNSD, who really just blew it big time before a recent LG vs Samsung game. Can we be really, though? Wouldn’t you also probably panic and throw the ball straight into the ground in front of you in a moment of spastic humiliation? Wouldn’t your sweaty nervous hands and complete lack of baseball skills make you embarrass yourself in front of everyone you know and now the world?

You know they would. Your voice is your instrument, girl, not your throwing arm! We are all Jessica now!

(VVV)

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Vladimir Putin Scores Game-Winning Goal In Hockey Shootout; Goalie’s Family Lives

Here’s a clip of newly-reelected Russian President Vladimir Putin participating in an exhibition hockey game between a team of Amateurs (Putin’s team) and a “Legends Of Russia” team of former Russian professionals.

The game went into a shootout, and sure enough, Putin himself scored the game-winning goal on a decent backhand move against a goalie who was definitely trying to stop him to embarrass his country’s president in front of everyone. On a totally unrelated note, the goaltender’s body remains completely uranium-free:

Perhaps some shades of Homer ‘beating’ the Stonecutters with his “Royal Sampler”?

(via Deadspin)

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Here’s The Worst Pass In NBA History

Carlos Boozer Bad PassI’m slightly hesitant to criticize anyone’s basketball-playing ability, as I’m one of the world’s worst humans at going near that sport (I ranked #107 on the Forbes 500 list of “Worst People At Basketball”, a list includes ALL BABIES).

That said, the following pass from Carlos Boozer in this week’s Bulls / 76ers playoff game is just one of the funniest, most inexplicable things I’ve ever seen. I guess we all make the equivalent mistakes in our own non-basketball lives; just yesterday, at a coffee shop I ripped open a Splenda packet with my teeth in front of a bunch of people then spilled coffee when I attempt to swirl it in, which was basically my own version of whipping my ‘sexiness / dignity’ basketball seven rows into the crowd.

Again though, this is not about us. It’s about laughing at this dude:

(via Ball Don’t Lie)