Barack Obamare-took the Oath of Office yesterday because the Oath he stated on Tuesday was actually off from the Constitution by one word. Fortunately, Springsteen still hadn’t finished playing from the other day.
The stars from Sex and the City have officially committed to a sequel. I guess Kristin Davis will have to put off Shaggy Dog II: Shaggadelic, Baby ’til 2010.
Yes, even Fidel Castro is praising Barack Obama. This comes just one day after Kim Jong-il sent Obama a “Congratulations” card with a $50 Bed Bath And Beyond gift certificate.
George Clooney is heading back to ER to appear in the final shows of the series. Clooney initially denied reports that he was returning, but I guess he finally got over being intimidated by acting opposite John Stamos.
It’s Obama’sfirst official day on the job, and in his first act as president, he has appointed Reverend Wright Emperor of Humankind. Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! THEY TRIED TO WARN USSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Shia LaBeouf’s driver’s license has been suspended for one year after his accident in the summer of ’08. His auto accident, I mean, not the thing with Harrison Ford.
Jamal Woolard, the actor who plays Biggie in the Notorious biopic, has been charged with assaulting his wife. That’s totally uncalled for, dude — can’t you promote your movie the way other actors do, with a teeny little DUI arrest?
London’s Evening Standard Newspaper has been sold to Alexander Lebedev, a Russian billionaire and ex-KGB agent. James Bond is currently in the “sleeping with Lebedev’s mistress” phase of taking this guy down.
And finally, 8th grade me can’t stop snickering at this headline.
Barack Obamaassumes office today. Remember to stay tuned to BWE.tv for the only Obama inauguration coverage anywhere, and don’t click over to any other website or turn on your tv or radio or pick up a newspaper or talk to any co-workers, or look out the window if you’re in Washington.
Brad Pitt mentioned in a recent interview that he’s worried about what type of death he’ll have, adding “A shark would be interesting.”Ocean’s Nineteen spoiler alert!
Chesley Sullenberger III has nothing to be sullen about. That’s because he’s the badass that laid down a commercial airliner gently onto the Hudson river yesterday. Badass name, badass story. Expect to see much more of him in the coming days.
The Jonas Brothers have hired extra security to protect their underwear. Seriously, what does a guy have to do to not get a date around here??
On the British show Celebrity Big Brother, Verne Troyer was made to dress up like a teddy bear and eat a pot of honey. I’m not sure there’s anything else I need to say about this.
The premise of Amy Poehler’s new not-an-Office-spinoff has been revealed! It will be a mockumentary style show set in the world of local government: the cameras will follow “a mid-level bureaucrat in the Parks and Recreation Department of Pawnee, Indiana.” BEGIN WETTING YOUR PANTS WITH EXCITEMENT…now.
TruTV has a reality show called The Principal’s Office, and in this clip, two high school kids hilariously tease their principal by kind of pretending to be gay. Honestly after watching this I can’t believe it’s a reality show and not some scripted mockumentary. Give these people a sitcom!
Worth1000 had a photoshop contest to see who could infuse Muppets into famous images. Some of them are super creepy, but the movie posters (like the Cookienator) are worth the willies.
American Idolpremiered last night. The new judge? Sassy. The bad contestants? Not quite as sad as years past. The good contestants? They’ve got potential. Ryan Seacrest? Completely freaked out by a hot chick in a bikini who tried to french him. And a blind guy made it through! Yes!
Lil Kimis not happy with the way she is depicted in Notorious,the Biggie biopic. When asked why, she responded: “Not enough nudity.”
Amy Winehouse has sworn off drugs but apparently alcohol doesn’t count. Sources at the St. Lucia resort at which she seems to be living say â€œWe keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guestsâ€™ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.â€ Hey look, it’s better than being compared to a wet dog with a crack pipe, so I think we’re making progress here.
Attention lady nerds: how can we combine our love of video games with our love of the arts thread-and-needle? By making a cross-stitch Zelda map, of course.
Ex Danity Kane human Aubrey O’Day will pose on the cover of Playboy in March. I’m really looking forward to seeing that 1.8% of her that’s usually covered in photographs.
George W. Bush has asked the four major networks for fifteen minutes of airtime so he can give a farewell speech on Thursday. Personally, I’d rather just take his apology as read and have The Office start on time.
Howie Mandel has been hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat. Probably because Deal Or No Deal is so suspenseful!!!!!!!!
People Magazine reports that Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchengot engaged this weekend, though I’m pretty sure I read about this weeks agp. Or maybe I stole the power of the dude from Early Edition. Crap, I gotta go save some kids!
Hilary Duff will star in an NBC sitcom called “Barely Legal,” playing an eighteen-year-old who passes the California bar exam to become the state’s youngest lawyer (damn – misleading title). NBC execs are describing the show as “A legal version of Doogie Howser, only more canceled.”
Slumdog Millionaire somehow won the Golden Globe for Best Picture despite not being historical, gay, or three hours long. What’s next — The Oscars admitting that comedies sometimes count as actual movies?
Mad Men took home the Golden Globe for Best Drama for the second straight year, while 30 Rock swept the major Comedy awards. If these award shows keep getting things right like this, I may need to find something else to complain about — thank God we still have the Grammys.
HBO’s John Adams also won four Golden Globes itself after also dominating the Emmy Awards five months ago. And for the hell of it, the still-eligible U2 album All That You Can’t Leave Behind won three Golden Globes too.
Clint Eastwood’sGran Torinoled the box office this weekend after grossing $29 million. I gotta admit, seeing Clint Eastwood make a pretend gun with his finger six times in that trailer was pretty persuasive.
It’s Ravens/Steelers and Eagles/Cardinals in the NFL Conference Championship games next week, proving again that if I gambled on football, I’d have gone insane and/or shot myself around ten years ago.
The president of AMC declared that season 3 of Mad Men will air this summer as scheduled, and is optimistic that AMC and Matthew Weiner will reach a contract agreement for future seasons. Which is good, because I’m already hiring people to go after the Watchmen lawsuit judge, and I don’t really have the expendable income for multiple goons.
Singer Lily Allen claims that people never focus on the benefits of taking cocaine. For example, have you ever spilled some of your kid’s grape juice on the floor, but have no papie towtows around to pick it up? Why, just sprinkle a handful of the ol’ Dr. Zhivago on it and watch that stain disappear! It truly is a miracle powder.
The new season of Celebrity Apprentice will feature contestants Joan Rivers, Dennis Rodman, adorable ice skater Scott Hamilton, comedian Tom Green, Khloe Kardashian, and Andrew Dice Clay. In other words, the new season of Celebrity Apprentice will be unstoppably amazing while also proving that God is merely the figment of a universal imagination.