Alex Greven, the 9-year-old who wrote the adorable How To Talk To Girls book, has been awarded a six-figure movie deal. A child star is born. Can’t wait for his book in 20 years: How To Talk To A Parole Officer.
Jimmy Fallon’sfirst vlog went up, and it’s basically just him introducing the show, the set, and his house band The Roots. Looking forward to see more of these. And um, he’s right…he’s got quite possibly the best house band in late night. Ever.
Online journalists can now win a Pulitzer for their work. Ahhahahem! Mr. Pulitzer, might I direct your attention to my extensive coverage of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt? I look forward to hearing from you…later this morning.
More than 450 Peruvian chefs and students worked together to make the world’s largest fish ceviche, weighing in at 6.8 tons, thereby making Peru the world’s grossest smelling nation.
Painter-turned-director Julian Schnabel is kind of an asshat. During his interview with Morley Safer on 60 Minutes,Schnabel gets all pissy when asked about his critics and just won’t let it go. It’s not a total “flip-out” as some people hype – but I always find it fun to watch d*cky / awkward interviews.
Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke has been fired from working on the sequel – apparently because of differences over the length of time needed to shoot the film. In other words, she wasn’t vampirey enough.
Here’s a video of the world’s smartest, most adorablest mouse runnin’ through a complicated obstacle course.
Just when you think that it’s quite possible Obama is some sort of miracle God sent from the heavens, we learns something about him that quickly brings him back down to our level. Example? He uses a Zune.
Lil Wayne leads off the Grammy nominations with 8 noms, while Coldplay is following close behind with 7. On the brighter side, Grammy voters finally get it right and award Katy Perry zero one nomination. Congrats to her and her fans (seen in today’s comments section)
Anne Heche is pregnant. As always with Anne Heche, news that would have been a million times more exciting if she was still with Ellen.
Jennifer Aniston has stated that she “longs” to have a baby. Note to Jennifer Aniston: The world “longs” for you to just shut up already.
Heidi Montag’s mother has given her marriage to Spencer Pratt six months tops. Which leads me to wonder if this woman deserves to be a member of Obama’s cabinet.
The NHL has suspended Sean Avery for comments made about his actress ex-girlfriends, calling them Sloppy Seconds. You know, for a sport that thrives off of knocking your opponent’s teeth out, they have remarkably stringent rules about language.
If you ever find yourself stranded on a desert island with nothing but a raw steak and some condoms, fear not. Because if this website is to be believed, the only words we can think of saying to you is: Enjoy your steak.
Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY’S BONGO DRUMS!
William Balfour, the main suspect in the recent brutal slaying of Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother and nephew, has finally been arrested for the attacks. It’s times like these that you really hope everything you see on Oz is true.
Barack Obama proves that his first name is serious as he bought a $30,000 diamond ring for wife Michelle. In a related story, guess which future President made sweet, dirty love all night long yesterday?
SHOW OF HANDS: How many of you watched MTV’s Britney Spears’: “On The Record” documentary? (Note: Anyone not showing hands is a liar.) Now, how many of you are convinced that all of the girl’s problems stem from her father’s terrifying clown Halloween costume? Exactly. Verdict? She’s amazing.
Ricki Lake was quoted saying “I can’t believe I was fat”. In a related story, an 11-year-old brownie found under her porch was quoted as saying “Hellllp Meeee.”
Dreams, Unrealized:Whitney Houston is reportedly NOT getting back together with ex-hubby Bobby Brown. And somewhere, a doodybubble loses its wings.
Brooke Burkewon Dancing With The Stars last night, and will receive the prize of — what do they win on that show? — dancing on the next Daughtrey album or something? Also, if you were DVRing this and I ruined it, I apologize, because that’s just generally sad.
Madonna and Alex Rodriguez were photographed taking a private jet together. Let’s not jump to conclusions — it’s possible that A-Rod just won backstage Madonna passes and a ride in her jet for collecting Boardwalk and Park Place in McDonald’s Monopoly.
SHOCKING NEWS. You are never gonna believe this. Are you sitting down? Here goes: the director of Twilight says that she’s planning on making a sequel. That’s right — the same Hollywood that sequeled The Skulls and The Whole Nine Yards is going to sequel the film that made $70 million it its opening weekend. Never saw that coming.
Virgin America is adding Wi-Fi to all of its flights by the middle of next year. They’ll also be unveiling a new slogan, “Sit back. Relax. Jerk off if no one’s next to you.”
Twilight racked up $70.6 million at the box office this weekend, crushing Bolt and a second-week Quantum of Solace. Turns out, there are a lot of teenage girls in this country.
Chris Brown was the big winner at the American Music Awards, snagging three prizes including Artist of the Year. Turns out, there are a lot of teenage girls in this country.
The government has issued a $300 billion rescue package for Citigroup including $20 billion in straight-up capital. Turns out, there are a lot of teenage girls in this country.
A Communist newspaper in China isn’t too happy about the album Chinese Democracy and the message it spreads to the world about the Chinese government or about how much goddamn time you can spend working on an album we don’t want anymore.
Bisexual twin sisters Rikki and Vikki, aka “The Ikki Twins,” will star in a Tila Tequila-spinoff reality show called “A Double Shot At Love” on MTV. The name “Double Shot At Love” was a last-minute change from its working title, “Literal Pornography.”
Former MTV VJ Jesse Camp, for some ungodly reason, was walking around with his pants around his ankles. Obviously, if you’re not in the mood for a NSFW (or your health, surely) wang this morning, don’t click here.