- Britney Spears is worried she’ll die the same way Princess Diana did: Married to Prince Charles.
- Heath Ledger wants to play George W. Bush on the big screen. He just can’t get enough of those gay cowboy movies.
- A recent study shows that ugly people are more likely to commit crimes. And more likely to own Metallica T-Shirts.
- Simon Cowell says he doesn’t keep in touch with past American Idol winners. Meanwhile, Paula Abdul continues to insist that she doesn’t have sex with past American Idol losers.
- The British act Elbow will perform a show with 100 children later this month. Michael Jackson wonders out loud, "Why didn’t I ever think of that?"
While You Were…
You spent your day working for the man, we spent the day working for you!
- Best Week Ever Video: Oprah mashes up Tom Cruise.
- BWE reader Lauren creates a new word: schizophonia.
- D’you know the Juno Award nominees have been announced? The Barenaked Ladies and Celine Dion do.
- BWE takes a look at some career moves and decides whether they are Tomhanksian or Shelleylongian.
- Scott Stapp is having the Worst Week Ever…on purpose!
- Gwyneth the new Yoko? Oh no!
- Britney Spears doesn’t want your pity but plays the Princess Di card anyway.
We know it’s not easy to keep up with the world of pop culture when you’re being peppered with questions, so here’s a roundup of everything you need to know to get you through the night:
- We’re behind Tom and Katie 100 percent.
- When deciding the next Bond girl, we think they should think outside of the box.
- La Dolce Lohan.
- Al Roker and Matt Lauer: The luge never sounded so good.
- Hey kids! Don’t start smoking, make TV commercials instead.
- Ren and Stimpy creator John Kricfalusi has a blog. I theenk I’m going to be seeck!
- Mary-Kate and Ashley are set to appear in an ad campaign for Badgley Mischka. They thought it was bag-lady Mischka, but it’s too late to back out now.
We know you’re busy at your job (or pretending to look busy), so we looked all over the web so you won’t have to:
- David Hasselhoff humps a Pepsi cap. The Brown and Bubbly just got even grosser. (AdRants)
- Pink says she’s not a Happy Meal like Britney Spears. That’s true. She’s much more of a Whaler or maybe a McRib. (The Superficial)
- Six-year-old suspended for sexual harassment. How touching. (A Socialite’s Life)
- Sarasota High School disinvited Jerry Springer to host a dance because he wasn’t "an appropriate role model." Poor Jerry. He had his tux and limo rented and everything. (E!)
- Tom Cruise is somewhat controlling: â€œ[Katie's] life from now on [is] going to be about being a mother. Iâ€™m not giving her the chance to turn into another Nicole. Iâ€™ve got Katie tucked away, so no one will get to us until my child is born â€” and until I want them to.â€ Then he drove away with Katie sitting on his lap. (The Bosh)
- George Clooney is planning to turn Ocean’s 11 into a TV show. It just keeps getting better for that guy. (Digital Spy)
- Toys ‘R Us employee says that Britney may or may not have driven without a car seat before. That settles that! (TMZ)