by (@hallekiefer)

Warner Bros. Pulls Ads, Victim’s Brother Blogs As Details Of The Dark Knight Rises Shooting Emerge

In the hours since 12 people were killed and at least 59 wounded by a gunman at a Dark Knight Rises screening in Aurora, Colorado, dozens of pieces of information have made their way onto the Internet, the most disturbing of those related to the alleged shooter himself. Identified as 24-year-old University of Colorado-Denver neuroscience graduate student James Holmes, the suspect allegedly told police he was the Joker, Batman’s nemesis in The Dark Knight, while he was being taken into custody following the attack. While information about the tragedy is still trickling in, other specifics about the shooting are just as harrowing:

  • In addition to the arsenal of four guns he used during the shooting, Holmes allegedly outfitted his apartment with a homemade booby trap or incendiary advice that police are still in the process of identifying. “It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before,” Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates told MSNBC.
  • Warner Bros has apparently pulled all TV and radio commercials for The Dark Knight Rises set to run this weekend.
  • Jordan Ghawi, brother of shooting victim Jessica Ghawi, has written a blog post describing the details of the shooting as reported by an alleged witness named Brent, including those surrounding the death of his sister. “Jessica and Brent were seated in the middle portion of the theatre when a device was thrown into the theatre that produced a ‘hissing’ sound,” Jordan writes in part. “The theatre then began to fill with smoke which is when patrons began to move from their seats. At that time, shots were fired.”

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Melanie Griffith And Antonio Banderas Might Be Splitting Up, But His Dancing Video Proves Nothing

Melanie Griffith And Antonio Banderas Allegedly Breaking Up

Look, we don’t know the ins and outs of Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas‘ relationship. We don’t have the time, resources or high-powered binoculars necessary to verify whether rumors of their impending break-up are true. We do know, however, that video of Antonio dancing with Indian actress Mallika Sherawat at Cannes this year proves absolutely nothing about the stability of their union. Take a look at the video after the jump if you don’t believe us: there is clearly plenty of room for the Holy Spirit between those two! If anything, the video is a testament to Antonio’s commitment to Melanie. If he wasn’t invested in keeping their love alive, Banderas could be booty-dancing up a storm! We’ll gladly offer our booties up as a test if you want, Melanie!

Color us dubious, but we’ve been hearing break-up rumors about these two for years, or at least since Griffith did that stint in rehab in 2009. “They seem absolutely fine. Honestly, they seem happy,” a source told People last night. The couple has almost made it to 16 years of marriage, which is, like, 3,000 years in Hollywood marriage time. As such, we…really, really don’t want these rumors to be true. We want Melanie and Antonio to make it into our Celebrity Couples Going Strong After More Than 20 Years list. You can do it, you two! Just check out your fellow old marrieds for strength!

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by (@hallekiefer)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Apologizes For “Pretty Girls Aren’t Funny” Comment, But In Case He Needs A Refresher…

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Apologizes For "Pretty Girls Aren't Funny"

For someone who declared “most pretty girls aren’t funny” recently, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is doing a pretty good job of not making us want to bang our skulls against a pile of Margaret Cho DVDs. The Dark Knight Rises actor allegedly blurted out that factually inaccurate statement at the Looper panel at Comic-Con while talking about costar Emily Blunt, but has since offered an explanation. “I’m actually glad you asked me about that, because I was embarrassed,” he told a reporter for Yahoo’s OMG. “Sometimes the words come out really wrong, and sometimes the words come out really wrong in front of thousands of people. I do apologize.” We should hope so, JGL! You’re friends with Zooey Deschanel! You’ve seen New Girl! You should know better!

So what was Joseph trying to get across? “In our culture, girls do tend to get pigeonholed,” he explains. “And I was trying and failing to pay [Blunt] a compliment about the fact that she really succeeded in avoiding those traps and not getting pigeonholed, and even though she’s a very good looking young women she is so funny and plays such a badass and a strong woman in Looper.” We’ll accept your explanation, JGL, but mainly because we still want to see Looper. In the meantime, in case you need a refresher course on how attractive women are capable of saying funny things, please take a moment to look through our Funniest Lady In Film This Summer gallery, where women from Anna Farris to Rashida Jones, Elizabeth Banks to Mila Kunis will remind you how exactly it is done.

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by (@hallekiefer)

Paris Jackson, We Gently Urge You To Stop Fighting With Your Family On Twitter

Paris Jackson Fights With Family On Twitter

At it’s best, Twitter is a place to both post one-liners and foster revolution (Shout out to the Arab Spring! Heeeey!) At it’s worst, Twitter (and Facebook and Tumblr and..) is a place where people air the dirtiest of their laundries. We guess what we’re saying is: Paris Jackson, stop fighting with your family on Twitter! That’s what angry texts are for! “@randyjackson8 hello dear FAMILY member i don’t appreciate you telling everyone things that aren’t true thank you very much,” Paris allegedly tweeted this evening at her uncle Randy Jackson. According to TMZ, Michael Jackson‘s daughter was allegedly referring to a letter “leaked” this week in which several of her uncles claim the incompetence of John Branca and John McClain, the executors of MJ’s estate, have caused their mom Katherine Jackson to have a “mini-stroke” due to stress. The only problem? According to Paris, that’s…all made up. The stroke part, at least.

“i am going to clarify right now that what has been said about my grandmother is a rumor and nothing has happened , she is completely fine,” Paris declared. “at this point i dont care what people call me or if they think i’m a bad person… if it means sticking up for my grandmother i will do it .” Paris has since deleted the tweet directed at her uncle, but still seems to be fuming. “fighting fire with fire only gets you burned… well i say maybe we need a little spark in our lives ‪#ComeAtMeBro,” she posted. No, do not come at her, bro! And if you do, please let it be via passive-aggressive voicemail! Ugh, but that can be leaked, too. Singing telegram?

by (@hallekiefer)

Yolanda Pecoraro Who? Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes, Let Us Plan Your Rebounds

Tom Cruise Rebounding With Ex Yolana Pecoro?

We know it’s only been a matter of days since the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce announcement, but RadarOnline is pretty sure they already know who Tom’s next spouse is going to be. According to them, actress Yolana Pecoraro might as well set up her registry now; she’s gorgeous, a Scientologist and, most importantly, already dated Tom Cruise in 2004, albeit vey briefly. “Yes, I knew and still know Tom Cruise. And no, I’m not married or engaged,” Yolanda told the National Enquirer in response to their queries. That definitely ain’t a no! While only time and/or Tom will tell if these two are a love match (and we’re pretty sure Cruise is smart enough to wait at least a few weeks before debuting a new girlfriend), we have some other suggestions for potential rebounds for both Katie and Tom…

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by (@hallekiefer)

Russell Brand’s Classy Katy Perry Comments Top The 5 Nicest Things He’s Done Since The Split

Russell Brand Dating Isabella Brewster

Russell Brand might have some genius PR team that we don’t know about, but the fact he’s coming out of his divorce from Katy Perry looking like the sweetest man alive seems to be mostly him. “I was really, really in love with her, but it was difficult to see each other,” Brand explained to Howard Stern today. “I don’t want to be too glib … She’ll read it and she’ll be sad and I don’t want that.” Awww, this guy keeps it nice! Since we know how easy it is for celebs to get carried away on Stern (we never thought we’d know as much as we do about David Arquette and Courtney Cox’s sex life, for example), we’d count Russell’s sweet, protective comments one of the top five nicest things he’s done since he and Katy announced their divorce last year. Check out the rest below; they are just so dreamy. Now we want to be divorced from Russell Brand! Please?

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by (@hallekiefer)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Puts GQ On Blast Over Brother’s Death, Leaves Us Confused

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Puts GQ On Blast Over Brother's Death

Sadly, Joseph Gordon-Levitt had to take time off from looking lip-bitingly gorgeous on the cover of GQ today to correct the magazine on details surrounding the death of his brother Burning Dan. The only problem? JGL’s correction only made us more confused as to what happened to his sibling, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 36.

JGL posted on his Tumblr today, “I’m writing this because I have a problem with what their article says about my brother.  I’ll be honest, it really made me feel terrible.  Here’s a quote: ‘…the elder Gordon-Levitt died of an alleged drug overdose in 2010.  “It was an accident” is all Joe will say about that.’” Said the Dark Knight Rises star, “Using the word ‘alleged’ technically allows the writer to say whatever she wants.  The ‘allegations’ to which she must be referring were made by a handful of gossip websites.  They are factually incorrect according to the coroner’s office and the police department. I don’t like publicly speaking about my brother’s death, but I’m making an exception to correct this irresponsible claim.”  We completely understand JGL wanting to dispel any misinformation floating around in the blogosphere, but…why not then clarify what actually happened?

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Dez Bryant Arrested: 9 Other Athletes Not Just Focusing On Their Sport

We so badly want to be looking forward to the Olympics! We want to support our favorite athletes as they all go for the gold. But there are some athletes that are really bumming us out instead — you know, the ones that are getting arrested for doing terrible, stupid and terribly stupid things. Dallas Cowboys wide receiver, Dez Bryant, is our most recent disappointment. After Dez’s mother made some desperate 911 calls saying that her son was “assaulting” her and that he refused to leave the house, Dez turned himself in to the police yesterday and was booked for assault, family violence, a Class A misdemeanor. At least he turned himself in, but really, who hurts their mother? We will never forgive him for this!

July 15 – Jason Kidd, 10-time NBA All Star point guard, got a DWI in Southampton on Sunday morning after crashing into a telephone pole. Hey Kidd, can you hear us now?

July 14 – Marshawn Lynch, who plays for the Seattle Seahawks, was arrested in his hometown for driving under the influence. This isn’t even a first offense! In 2008, he struck a pedestrian outside of a bar and drove off.

July 14 (yep, it was a great night)- Denver Broncos defensive end Elvis Dumervil was arrested in Miami on a charge of aggravated assault with a firearm. That’s dumb and scary and … OK, we’ll stop that.
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by (@hallekiefer)

Tom Cruise Puts In Daddy Duty With Suri For The First Time Since Divorce Announcement

Suri Cruise and Tom Cruise

Parenting is hard enough as it is. We can’t imagine how hard it would be to try and raise a kindergartner while getting a divorce…and shooting a movie…and also hearing insane rumors about how Scientologists allegedly sideswiped your ex in a garbage truck. All Katie Holmes divorce drama aside, Tom Cruise looked like any other soon-to-be divorced papa as he ferried Suri around Manhattan today; it’s allegedly the first time he’s seen his daughter since the news of his divorce hit the Interwebs June 29. Tom Cruise’s sister Cass also joined them with an armful of unicorns to add to the cuteness factor. Aunts and stuffed friends: two of a single dad’s greatest weapons in the epic struggle to be a good parent.

Least he be looked down for failing to visit Suri until today, at least Cruise has been able to see his other kids more frequently; teen DJ Connor visited the set of Tom’s action flick Oblivion in Iceland last month, then joined sister Isabella in Mammoth Lakes, California this weekend to spend time with their pop as he was wrapping up filming. If only Suri was old enough to hop on a plane! Or, you know, walk across the street without holding a grown-up’s hand. That would probably make this whole “three kids with two ex-wives” thing a little easier…

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise Garbage Truck Accident: Are Scientologists Or Decepticons To Blame?

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise, and their car, which was side-swiped by a garbage truck

As Katie Holmes was taking Suri Cruise home from gymnastics class in Manhattan on Monday night, their Mercedez-Benz limo was sideswiped by a giant recycling truck. Everyone’s OK, and the limo was merely dented on the left rear fender, according to TMZ. But now it’s time for the rumors to fly! Was it really a recycling truck, or was it a truck driven by Scientologists looking to remind Katie that they are still watching her?

OR, we have an entirely new theory, the truck was a Decepticon, sent from its home planet of Cybertron to photograph Katie and Suri, believing them to be the leaders of Earth. An honest mistake, right? (Also, Comic-Con has melted my brain.)

Actually, what scares us most about this whole story is the fact that just before the accident, there were paparazzi taking all sorts of pics of Suri in her gymnastics class. This isn’t the first time, of course, but it’s a big reminder of just how creepy the paps are getting, hiding out to snap little girls in leotards. Katie, we hope this doesn’t deter you from continuing your outings to ice cream parlors and Whole Foods and Chelsea Piers. It’s great to see you two leading normal lives!

[Photos: Splash News Online]