by (@hallekiefer)

We Came This Close To Seeing Drew Barrymore And Christian Bale As A Celebrity Couple

Drew Barrymore And Christian Bale Once

Chrew? Dristian? BarryBale? We swear we would have done a way better of coming up with clever couple nicknames if Christian Bale and Drew Barrymore‘s teen romance had actually panned out. “We went to see some bloody awful horror film, and that was the end of it,” Bale allegedly told GQ Australia about the actress. “She never called again.” First of all….you know you can call too, right? What if their entire romantic history fell by the wayside because Christian just didn’t know American dating etiquette? Second of all, that’s kind of a shame. We like imagining Bale’s gruff method actor commitment paired with Drew’s sunny disposition. They would make a perfect couple! Or a perfect crime-solving duo on an ABC prime time crime procedural! They’d be great doing something together, is what we’re trying to say.

Also…we find the whole “Drew didn’t call” thing a little hard to believe. This is the same woman who called Tom Green. Repeatedly. Until they were married for a year. That being said, obviously it was for the best. Christian is happily married to spouse Sibi Blazic, with whom he has seven-year-old daughter Emmeline; Drew is pregnant with her first child with fiance Will Kopelman. You guys could still solve crimes together though! Christian’s Dark Night run is almost over and Drew, yeah, you’re going to want to switch to a 9-to-5 soon enough.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Depressing Celebrity Beef Alert: Dominic Monaghan Claims Lost Costar Matthew Fox “Beats Women”

Dominic Monaghan Claims Matthew Fox "Beats Women"

Kate! We have to get back to the weekend, before we heard all these horrible allegations about Matthew Fox! While you were getting sunburned in a hammock, Lost actor Dominic Monaghan was on Twitter accusing former costar Matthew Fox of violence toward women. “he beats women. No thanks.” the FlashForward actor replied when asked to pester Fox to get on Twitter. When an outraged fan asked how he could make such claims considering all the good times they must have had on the set of Lost (note: people on Twitter be crazy!), Monaghan tweeted, “how do you know we ever did?you don’t know either of us.he beats women.not isolated incidents.often.not interested.” Oh, well, if it was isolated incidents, that would be totally different! Horrible, horrible different!

TMZ reported today that “sources close to” Fox have denied the charges, but the actor has yet to issue a statement himself. This isn’t the only cringe-worthy part of Fox’s life recently; in addition to a DUI arrest earlier this month, the Alex Cross actor was also accused of, well, punching a female bus driver in the groin late last year. Hey, maybe at the end of this feud, we’ll find out we were all dead this whole time and this beef never happened? And then we’re in a church for some reason? Oh, you’re right. That would make literally no sense.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jessica Simpson’s New Baby Covers Her First Magazine, And She’s A Beauty

Jessice Simpson's New Baby On Cover of People

After our obsession over what seemed the forever long pregnancy of Jessica Simpson, the first photos of baby Maxwell Drew are in this week’s issue of People! And sleeping beauty (the baby’s literally sleeping on the cover) is an adorable princess whose full cheeks are to die for. Baby Maxwell is so precious her mom was alleged paid $800,000 for her first baby pics. How’s that for being a celeb’s kid. Jessica Simpson and fiance Eric Johnson welcomed their first child into the world on May 1 weighing 9 lbs, 13 oz. We instantly pondered if she’d look like her blonde girl-next-door mom, or her dark haired football playing daddy. It’s too early to tell but we think she is the cutest thing ever. Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Bobbi Kristina Walks Off Set Of Tyler Perry’s For Better Or Worse: Report

Bobbi Kristina Brown has reportedly quit her role on Tyler Perry's sitcom For Better or Worse

Weeks after making a rare public appearance onstage at the Billboard Music Awards to accept an award on mother Whitney Houston’s behalf, Bobbi Kristina Brown is apparently not doing so hot. Radar reports that the 19-year-old walked off the set of Tyler Perry’s TBS sitcom For Better or Worse, on which she was making her acting debut in a recurring role, and broke down in tears. She’s taped a few episodes, a source said, but has decided not to do any more.

“Bobbi Kristina had a private breakdown and barely anyone saw it,” the source told Radar. “She was crying and said she needed a minute, she needed a break to get herself together. But then she decided she couldn’t handle doing the show right now. She’s still mourning her mom.”

We’ll wait and see if any of this story gets official confirmation from the show, which is scheduled to return for its second season in July. Perry and company will probably have to do some last-minute scrambling to rewrite the show — but maybe they should have had a plan B prepared, considering the state we’ve heard Bobbi Kristina’s been in since her mother’s death in February.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@shalapitcher)

Justin Bieber Got Pap-Beating Lessons From Mike Tyson … And Other Ways This Story Is Out Of Control

Justin Bieber trained with Mike Tyson last week

Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez and the random paparazzo who may or may not be healing from a Bieber Beatdown, we apologize on behalf of all media for the relentless coverage of Sunday’s scuffle. It’s just, well, too many celebrities were behaving nicely, or behind closed doors, or just fully clothed, this weekend. We have no choice. And also, we can’t get over the idea of the uber-careful Mr. Swaggy Adult inflicting injury on someone. So, here’s just a little update of the news so far:

  • Yes, there isvideo evidence of Justin Bieber’s considerable boxing skills, as he hits the bag and receives encouragement from Mike Tyson, we assume when Bieber was in Vegas for the Billboard Music Awards on May 20. He must have felt bad about wimping out on that GQ reporter who really wanted to hit him.
  • “Nice hanging out with @justinbieber & @alfredoflores,” Tyson wrote on his Intagram this Sunday (about last week’s visit). Biebs’ handlers must have been thrilled with this timing.
  • According to TMZ, the criminal battery case will be referred to the Los Angeles DA, as most high-profile cases are. If convicted, he’d face up to six months in jail.
  • That kind of sentencing not very likely, though, “not in a zillion years,” legal expert Dana Cole told ABC News this morning. We highly suggest watching the ABC video, btw, as it includes hilarious imagery of actual film canisters and a briefcase full of money.
  • Bieber tweeted that he’s focusing on “important stuff,” rather than, you know, trouble with the law. He jetted off to Oslo yesterday for a series of “secret” shows as he drops his newest single, “Die in Your Arms.”
  • Randomly, the Los Angeles Times decided to remind us that this girl with cancer would probably not approve of Justin hitting people.
  • Also, we were right about Bieber and Selena still being together.

[Photo: Instagram]

by (@missmuttoo)

Paparazzo Sues Justin Bieber For Criminal Battery

Photographer sues Justin Bieber for criminal battery

A paparazzo is suing Justin Bieber for criminal battery. We repeat: a grown man is suing the Biebs for beating him up. We want to say that again, but won’t be able to type because we’ll be laughing too hard. The deal is that this particular photographer was hounding Justin and girlfriend Selena Gomez in Calabasas, which is where the singer lives. The camera guy’s perspective is that he was trying to take their picture when the Biebs went all “The Hulk” on him, resulting in a fight which made the paparazzo call 911. He then complained that the beat down caused him to hurt his upper torso for which he had to go to hospital in an ambulance. Of course he did. Because when the Biebs hits, he hits hard, right?

Onlookers have a totally different perspective, though. The other side of the story is that there was a scuffle, but right after they were done, a lawyer present on the scene went and convinced the paparazzo to file a case so they could both rake in the moolah. The witnesses reckon that the lawyer pretty much told the photographer to straight up call an ambulance and the police because then the situation could turn into a big pile of money. They also reveal that Justin didn’t get aggressive for no reason. Mr. Paparazzo was actually blocking the singer’s car as he and his girlfriend were trying to leave. When Bieber got out and requested him to move, the photographer refused to and that’s how matters escalated. Even though this case sounds like a whole crock of BS to us, the police still have to investigate as a claim of battery has been made by the guy. Hang in there, Justin!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Did Britney Spears Really Get Upset With Tone-Deaf Contestant And Storm Off X-Factor Set?

Britney Spears Walks Off X Factor Set

The sage advice of ex-judge, Nicole Scherzinger to Britney Spears for her new role as X Factor arbiter was to, “Speak from your heart. Just be you.” Our Brit-Brit seems to be doing just that quite admirably. Y’all know that the first round of auditions happened yesterday in Austin, right? The singer looked pretty prepared as she was photographed heading to the set in a hot coral mini that we orgininally though to be Herve Leger, but actually was a Brian Lichtenberg number. But a severe case of dramatitis seems to have struck on this debut effort already. Apparently, one contestant rocked up and decided to impress Britney by singing her song “Hold It Against Me.” But the story is that they were so bad and so desperately tone-deaf, that Ms. Spears actually got upset and walked off the set! How is that for a first day fracas?

There’s another side to the matter, though. There are certain sources who are saying that this whole thing is being blown out of proportion because Britney wasn’t upset at all and that she only “just took a short break.”  Right, so it was just a case of her timing being impeccable? Britney herself got on twitter to address that issue and corroborated the sources, tweeting, “#Britneywalksoff??? LOL was just taking a little break people. I am having the BEST time!!!” Either way, contestants performed to just L.A. ReidSimon Cowell and Demi Lovato for a couple of songs ’till La Spears returned. This show’s going to be fun — we can feel it!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Related: On Britney Spears’ First Day On X Factor, We Have Advice From Ex-Judge Nicole Scherzinger

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay Lohan’s Liz Taylor Biopic Gets A True Blood Richard Burton

Grant Bowler Cast In Lindsay Lohan's Liz Taylor Biopic

Every day we get closer and closer to a legitimate Lindsay Lohan comeback. We can feel it in our bones. Fueling that pleasant inter-bone feeling is the casting of True Blood werewolf Grant Bowler as Richard Burton in Lilo’s upcoming Elizabeth Taylor biopic Liz & Dick. That True Blood cred is making us feel like this made-for-tv movie is going to get made, though to be fair John Travolta was cast in that ill-fated Gotti biopic Lindsay was attached to last year. On the other hand, Liz & Dick is Lifetime! And isn’t also rumored to star a Kardashian!

Bowler also appeared in Lost, GCB and, most importantly, Ugly Betty, where he started as Wilhelmina’s insanely charming on-again, off-again lovah Connor. “Grant will add gravitas to our couple and bring to life one of the greatest actors who has ever lived,” executive producer Larry A. Thompson gushed to Deadline. “Burton was a Welsh poet, a rascal, and a man’s man, who swept Elizabeth Taylor off her feet and flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.” Okay, okay, let’s not get too crazy here. Shooting hasn’t actually started yet and there is plenty of time for Lindsay’s weave to get caught in an escalator or for Grant to OD on fake blood or some such horror.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Please Let This Alleged Trey Songz/Rob Kardashian Slap Fight Be Real. Please.

Trey Songz Slaps Rob Kardashian In Nightclub

It’s not that we want Trey Songz and Rob Kardashian to suffer the agony of red, raw cheeks and a bruise ego. It’s just that no one gets in slap fights anymore! No one! After hitting their peak alongside the dueling craze, slap fighting has really dwindled down to a few middle school-related incidents. Unless you believe MediaTakeout, that is, who report that Songz slapped Kardashian after Rob’s camera crew took over the VIP section in London club Movida. According to the site’s source, having been ousted by the likes of Scott Disick and the key grip, “Trey went over and told them to ‘Get the f— out.’ Rob thought [Trey] was joking so he stood up and tried to talk, that’s when [Trey] slapped him in the face hard.” Hey, it could have been a lot worse! No, literally any other hand configuration would have been worse.

After the singer smacked him, apparently “Rob told everyone ‘Let’s go’ and they all left.” A representative of the club later allegedly claimed, “Trey Songz is the bane of my life. He’s just shown up with his crew, taken over the Kardashian table, and ran Rob and Scott out of the club. He wasn’t even invited.” The bane of your life? Uh oh, Trey. Those sound like dueling words. You now what you have to do! Allegedly! Keep your wrist locked tight and slap from the elbow!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Meagan Good Kept The “Cookies” In A Jar For A Year, Wedding Night Will Be The First Time She Sleeps With Fiancé

Megan Good And Fiance Have Never Slept Together

Actress Meagan Good may play the sexy side-chick in a lot of her TV and film roles, but in real life she’s the woman that hasn’t had sex in at least a year despite being engaged. Yes, you read that correctly. Per The Insider, Good revealed to Life & Style that her wedding night will be the first time she’s intimate with her producer/preacher fiancé DeVon Franklin. Good said she knew he was the one because of his willingness to become celibate with her for a year. “Our wedding night will be the first time we’re actually together,” said the Think Like A Man and Californication star. Girl, teach us your ways. Read more…