The second we saw photos of Lindsay Lohan out to dinner with Woody Allen and wife Soon-Yi Previn in New York City on Friday, we immediately started dreaming up ways he could help revive her career. The director and actress have been friends for years, sources told TMZ, and he may be considering a project with her. And if any director understands the value of having a good hit after being a tabloid punching bag, it’s Woody. So what kind of role would suit LiLo best? Here’s a look at four of our favorite women from Allen’s oeuvre that could be excellent models for her part:
Annie Hall: Sorry to be obvious, but Diane Keaton’s Annie is the quintessential Woody Allen woman — at least she was for most of his movies in the ’70s and ’80s. She’s sexy and talented, but also neurotic enough to be a match for Allen. Lindsay’s no WASPy ideal, and her stumbling reads on SNL have us worried about her rattling off that nervous-energy dialogue — but she’d look great in the menswear.
We’re not even sure whether we should be helping this story to spread, for fear it may cause copycats: At an event honoring CNN host Piers Morgan in Los Angeles on Friday night (as part of BritWeek), Morgan shared the story of how his former fellow America’s Got Talent judge Sharon Osbourne once pranked him, according to the New York Daily News. While traveling on a private plane with Osbourne, AGT judge Howie Mandel and host Nick Cannon, Morgan said he woke up to find Osbourne’s naked breasts dangling in his face. He called it “a scene from Dante’s Inferno” and the “world’s worst nightmare.” That’s hardly fair to Osbourne, who has admitted to paying good money for those nightmares!
OK, we kind of love this story — it’s proof that even though Sharon’s gone from planning Ozzfest with her metal god husband to co-hosting The Talk to entertain housewives, she hasn’t lost her wild side. Also, it makes us aware that TV personalities on private airplanes behave just like we did on the bus during high school field trips.
One on hand, LOL. On the other hand, ugh. On the tan hand, doesn’t a Snooki/Tanning Mom beef make so much sense, it seems like we made it up solely for your delight? Better slip on your shades then, because mere days after New Jersey mom Patricia Krentcil was put on Internet trial (The Internet: our judge, jury and executioner) for allegedly taking her daughter tanning with her, the teeniest, most pregnant Jersey Shore star ripped into her for what she declared to be bad parenting. “That b—h is crazy,” Snooki raged to Extra‘s Mario Lopez, “you are not supposed to take kids there. Everyone knows you are NOT supposed to take kids there.” Adults who are the same height as kids, well, that is a completely different thing entirely!
So of course Krentcil fired back a response today calling Snooki out for her comments. “She’s the biggest a–hole in the world. She’s fake, she’s fat, her t–s are fake, she’s disgusting,” the internet sensation raged to TMZ. “When this is all said and done, I’d like to meet up with ‘Snoopy’.” Ouch, that’s a burn right there! And everywhere else that isn’t covered by a layer of UV-resistant fabric! We are, and yet we aren’t, excited to see how this pans out, guys. Who’s going to win, we wonder? Just kidding; the answer is no one. No one will win this beef.
[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]
Scarlett Johansson is hoping that if you loved The Avengers (which you already did because you saw it last night at midnight), you’d also love to see her super spy character Black Widow kicking malevolent butt in a spin-off of her very own. “I love her origin story. I think it’s just such a riveting one. It’s just steeped in history and the richness to shoot in Russia, perhaps,” ScarJo told HuffPo. I hope that the fans’ voice is loud enough and they want to see a Widow origin story, I know Marvel would be happy to entertain that. We’ve spoken a lot about it.”
Seeing as how ScarJo is currently the only Avenger not to get her own movie, we think a Black Widow film should be made on the basis of justice alone. On the other hand, we also love seeing her beat people up with a chair. The only problem? Some of the most recent female superhero movies have been, well, big, gigantic flops. In case you’re wondering what ScarJo might have to fight through to take her Earth-saving skills to the big screen:
- Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Rocking a 19% on Rotten Tomatoes, Angelina Jolie channeled the sexy British video game archeologist for two films. It helped make Angie a superstar, but it would be awesome if we could get a female superhero who wasn’t obligated to pad her bra while fighting the forces of evil.
- Catwoman (2004): Halle Berry accepted the 2005 Worst Actress Razzie for her take on the feline superwoman in person, four years after snagging an Oscar for Monster’s Ball. While we appreciate Halle’s killer sense of humor, this is why we need a brave A-lister to go back in and wrestle the genre to the ground!
- Elektra (2005): Jennifer Garner starred in this movie, which you probably don’t even remember happening. Sadly, it was a box-office bust and currently has a 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. The film was also a spin-off of Daredevil…starring Ben Affleck. You need to wash all these bad memories out of our mouths with some sweet karate-chops, Scarlett! Do it now!
So what do you think? Would you get in line for a Black Widow flick? At least so you’re totally up to speed for The Avengers 2?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Kellan Lutz is all set to give new meaning to the phrase, “Me Tarzan, you Jane.” The hunky Twilight actor is going to be part of a new franchise very soon, as he’s signed up for the role of everyone’s favorite jungle-man, Tarzan, the Constantin film that will be directed by Reinhard Kloos. Deadline reports that the film will be a fully animated CGI with motion capture and that Spencer Locke is in talks to play Jane. The Hollywood Reporter also explained that the film is going to be in 3-D, and that Spencer has actually locked (sorry) down on the role.
They’ve also given us a heads-up on the script. Tarzan’s billionaire parents are killed in a plane crash leaving him alone in the jungle. The head of a company called Greystoke Energies is the villain, as he took over the company after Tarzan’s parents died. Jane comes in as the daughter of an African guide and is a preservationist who works with Tarzan later to take down the villain and his army. Sounds interesting. Mostly because we all know what Kellan’s wardrobe is going to be!
[Photo: Getty Images]
So, correct us if we’re wrong, but Sharper Image is a technology brand, right? They deal with all sorts of wizard-like gadgetry, if we’re not mistaken. So why exactly do they have Megan Fox stretched out on a bed with sexily mussed-up sheets in thigh-high stockings for their new campaign? We get that Megan is the sharper image here … but why, guys? It was only only on closer inspection that we realized that she’s holding a tablet in her hand. There’s the link to electronics! It’s totally legit now to have her pose in lingerie for something that is very, very loosely woven to her Transformers role. The tablet’s going to transform into one of Optimus Prime’s dudes! Now, how do we explain the fur throw? Is it faux? Is she trying to send out subliminal messages for PETA? Who knows guys. The Sharper Image guys went deep for this.
[Photo via Us Magazine]
We’re not mean and heartless, we swear. We used to believe in pure, innocent, stupidly passionate love. But then Kim Kardashian came along and ruined everything with her questionable dalliance with Kris Humphries. So when we heard that the reality star was hooking up with rapper Kanye West, we put our guard up. But now that the pair are reportedly putting marriage on the table, we’re going on an all-out defensive. Despite just going public one month ago, US Weekly is reporting that the two are seriously considering tying the knot. A source says that their partnership is “very serious,” and that they go to great lengths to be together…or at least be seen together. Kim’s even rumored to accompany Yeezy on his summer tour with Jay-Z. “She wants to be with him as much as possible,” the source explains. “They really know and love each other.”
Yes, the man who brought us “Gold Digger” is considering marrying the woman who less than a year before pulled off one of the most lucrative PR/wedding stunts in history. We’re not going to lie: our first reaction is to tell Kanye to run for his damn life. But perhaps they aren’t so bad together after all. She definitely doesn’t need his money. And at this point she doesn’t need the fame she’d get by hanging out with him. She’s pretty stable on her own. In fact, it could be argued that the couple are pretty evenly matched. The question is; does greed for more dictate Kim’s desire to be with Kanye, or is it actually love? Our cynicism makes us believe the latter, but we’re totally ready to be proved wrong.
[Photo: Getty Images]
It looks like Lady Gaga is back on the road and back on the market! The 26 year-old megastar reportedly split with her boyfriend Taylor Kinney before kicking off her Born This Wall Ball world tour in Hong Kong. Ok, technically they’re just “on a break,” but anyone who’s ever been dumped knows what that really means. “She will be touring nonstop until next year and has found she can’t have relationship at the same time,” a source told US Weekly. “There’s just no room for anything else. Her work is all-consuming.” We guess long distance relationships aren’t really Momma Monster’s thing. Plus she’s also recording a new album in between her 110 concert dates, so we can’t say we blame her for needing some space.
Lady Gaga met Taylor last September on the set of her “You And I” video, which co-stared the sometimes-Vampire Diaries hunk. But friends say that the couple were never met to go the distance. “Taylor was all about himself, a typical actor, and didn’t completely get Gaga,” the source confirmed. But let’s be real, does anyone really get Gaga? It’s debatable. Perhaps Taylor was just Gaga’s rebound dude after her final split with longtime lover Luc Carl, the man she wrote ‘You And I’ about in the first place? “She loved that she got this guy who everyone thought was hot! But it was never going to last.”
[Photo: Getty Images]
So, yesterday, we kind of ignored Ashton Kutcher’s fake ad for WorldwideLovers.com (actually an for Popchips), because, well, we just didn’t find it all that funny. Maybe interesting to see Ashton’s attempts to look unattractive, but yeah, not funny. And because that made us dismiss it, we kind of missed the bigger controversy, which really blew up by yesterday afternoon: That the Kardashian-loving “Bollywood producer” Raj is a pretty racist stereotype. After several pundits and regular viewers complained of Kutcher’s “brownface,” the snack company removed Raj’s profile video from its Facebook site. But not, interestingly, from the Youtube video featuring all of the characters.
“The new Popchips worldwide dating video and ad campaign featuring four characters was created to provoke a few laughs and was never intended to stereotype or offend anyone,” said a statement from Popchips given to TheWrap.com.
When we look at photographs like these, we realize that Kate Upton was probably put on this earth to make the rest of us want to crawl under a rock and sob into our Cheetos. It’ s a very specific kind of karma, but someone’s got to do it. Which is why we can’t understand this. Why would someone as blessed as Kate Upton — don’t kid yourselves guys, God ordained that body — want to hang out with someone as skeezy as Terry Richardson? Wasn’t Cat Daddy enough? We’re still looking at Terry as Quagmire from Family Guy after his very enthusiastic “alright” right after adjusting Upton’s bikini strap in the video. Actually, while we’re asking questions — how does someone like Terry Richardson manages to get someone like Kate Upton to writhe so seductively that Youtube ends up banning their collaborative video? Which is also weird because granted that Kate was wearing the tiniest bikini ever known to mankind, but there was no nudity of any kind.
Which directly leads to our next point. We thought that Kate had paid her dues by posing for Terry in scraps of fabric. But the photographer’s site revealed that the model busting a move for him (and the rest of the world) was just the tip of the iceberg. A new batch of pictures have surfaced on the site of Kate, softly lit and glowing, nearly topless, but not quite. She’s hiding her modesty by crossing her arms over her chest. Not that it still isn’t NSFW, but if there’s anyone worth the risk, it’s Kate. You’re probably heading to the gallery right now to illustrate our point.
[Photos: Terry's Diary]
Related: Kate Upton “Cat Daddy” Video Ban Makes Us Very Confused About Youtube’s Policies
Kate Upton Teaches Us How To Do The “Cat Daddy” In A Bikini, Makes Us Wish We Were Terry Richardson