Maybe we’re just easily surprised. Maybe we’re just nostalgic for the days of Sassy. Whatever it is, we were more than delighted to read Ke$ha talk openly with Seventeen about being attracted to both men and women, and to see the magazine print her comments like they’re no big deal. “I don’t love just men. I love people,” the musician revealed. “It’s not about a gender. It’s just about the spirit that exudes from that other person you’re with.” Aw, we love that! Of course Ke$ha’s comments are in fact no big deal, but occasionally people lose their minds about stuff like that. You know what we’re talking about. You live in the same society as we do.
Congratulations on what seems to be your engagement, NeNe Leakes! And congrats to all your conspiracy theorists out there, too. This must be a field day for you. “My answer was,” the Real Housewives of Atlanta star hinted on Twitter yesterday. “Yes.” She also posted photos of the romantic evening planned by her ex-husband Gregg Leakes. It makes sense that people would assume she was referring to an engagement. The idea that NeNe and Gregg are going to get married specifically to up RHOA ratings and “a spinoff “wedding show” on Bravo,” however? Significantly less sense.
On one hand, claims that NeNe’s engagement is a reality TV stunt is ridiculous. NeNe is far too successful (The New Normal? Glee? Come on, people!) to fake a marriage to a man she does not want to be married to. On the other hand, if her engagement was part of a scheme to achieve world dominance, we have to bow to NeNe’s superior goal-attaining skills. We’ve already given up on our diet and we started that twelve hours ago. To fabricate a relationship to potentially get a reality show would be the ultimate New Year’s resolution. Let’s meet back here next January 2, 2014 and see who was right!
[Photo: Getty Images]
We don’t know what our problem is today. Normally we love Jennifer Lawrence‘s brutally honest, self-deprecating sense of humor. Maybe it’s just having been around our families for the holidays, but JLaw’s recent comments to Vanity Fair and South Africa Marie Claire make us want to wrap her in a Slanket and feed her delicious soups while watching our Christmas DVDs. In addition to calling herself “vastly uneducated,” the Catching Fire star told Vanity Fair “There are doctors who save lives and firemen who run into burning buildings. I’m making movies. It’s stupid.” While we all agree medicine and firefighting are pretty much the most important jobs in society, give yourself some credit, Jennifer! You already have an Oscar nomination. How “uneducated” can you be? How meaningless your life goals?
Maybe we’re just still feeling sensitive about Jennifer’s comments to South Africa Marie Claire last week. “I’d rather look chubby on screen and like a person in real life,” Lawrence said about her weight. Whaaaaa? JLaw? Chubby? Is there literally no way to stop Hollywood from brainwashing people into thinking they are overweight? Even when those people are literally paragons of physical perfection?
We all know that former American Idol contestant Fantasia Barrino hasn’t had an easy road these past few years, what with her suicide attempt in August 2010 and accusations of home-wrecking against Antwaun Cook. But that definitely doesn’t excuse her bizarre seemingly anti-gay marriage tirade on Instagram that took place on New Years Eve. ”I Rise ABOVE IT ALL!!! THE WORLD IS GONE MAD. KIDS, THE GOVERNMENT THE church House… Everybody Trying!!!!!!!” she captioned a photo that seems to just highlight her Spanx. ”Its a lot that going on that the Bible speaks about we should Not be doing. Weed legal in some places, Gay Marriage Legal BUT YET IM JUDGED!!! I’m not doing Nothing for you… My Life!!!!” First of all, you have the cap the exclamation marks at two per sentence if you want to be taken seriously. Secondly, Instagram is a photo-based social media platform, so next time maybe take your rants to Twitter. And thirdly, this whole statement is made of no.
The singer’s reps are already in damage control mode and have issued a statement on Tuesday to her facebook page (and other places, we hope). ”Comments made by Ms. Barrino through her Intragram account were recently taken far out of context,” it begins, ”Ms. Barrino is not now, nor has she ever been an opponent of the LGBT community. She has supported and performed at numerous events that are sponsored by the LGBT community. Whether it’s through a live performance or placement on social media, Ms. Barrino uses every opportunity to reach out and connect with her fans, all of her fans.” This sounds like the PR equivalent of “Some of my best friends are gay!”, but hey, what do we know?
Rihanna and Chris Brown have taken their bizarre brand of coupledom to the most coupley of all holidays: New Year’s! Despite the constant push and pull about whether or not they are actually dating, over the holiday the superstar pair got very close in a very public way, sharing court-side seats and laughs at a Lakers game on Christmas. “Sure,” we can hear you loyal readers say, “Friends go to basketball games all the time.” We hear that. But now it looks like the two were each other’s all-important midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve, which can only me one thing: They are totally going to get married and make babies immediately.
OK, maybe not. Yet it still is pretty decent proof that the two are together in a more than fellow basketball fans kind of way. Riri posted a pic on Instagram of herself peeking out of a distinctive polka dotted bed comforter yesterday with the caption “Good morning! Still haven’t slept lol #hello2013.” Soon after, Breezy did the same thing, showing his legs sticking out of the very same comforter. The pic has since been deleted, because as we all know, Chris Brown is a very fussy Instagrammer. So despite all of Rihanna’s angry tweets about being single, we’re guessing they’re back together again? Right? Who knows.
Considering that all of our recent Rihanna posts have something to do with He Who Shall Not Be Named (JK! We mean Chris Brown), we were starting to worry that people were forgetting how excellent Rihanna is as an independent entity. Take her reaction to Michael Bolton‘s very sweet fan tweet, for instant. “@rihanna Ur a truly powerful artist with a distinct voice that I love, and the rare kind who will have a great long career. Your fan, Mb,” the singer tweeted at RiRi last Friday. Rihanna took until yesterday to comment on his baller status compliment, we’re assuming because she immediately started hyperventilating and lost consciousness. “My heart fell to the floor!!! #1love,” she gushed about the tweet. “#biggestfan.” Guys, how adorable is that? The only people we know who love Michael Bolton this much are RiRi and our dad, and they are both the cutest!
Of course, Bolton was only replying to Rihanna’s initial praise for him, which, again, is so great. “This man will forever be a legend in my eyes #MichealBolton,” Rihanna swooned last week while posting a picture of Bolton in a sweet leather blazer. Dear sweet heavenly lord, what if they did a duet together? Maybe they can do a cover of “How Can We Be Lovers If We Can’t Be Friends?” Oh wow, that works on so many different levels for Rihanna. We are geniuses! Ending 2012 on the highest of high notes! See you in 2013, ya’ll!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Jessica Simpson, we’re going to let you finish gestating, but Kanye West and Kim Kardashian‘s baby is going to be the greatest baby of all time! Haha, yeah. Get used to hearing those kinds of jokes for the next nine months! Everyone and Bruce Jenner have been freaking out over Kanye and Kim’s pregnancy, and it got us thinking: what kind of parental unit will Kimye be? Yeezy and Kim both have a wealth of hard-earned knowledge we hope to pass down to their baby. Especially since you know that baby is going to be in front of a camera so fast…
Tee hee! We’re so glad it was Adam Lambert who criticized the singing in Les Miserables and not, say, any other person on the planet. “Les Mis: Visually impressive w great Emotional performances. But the score suffered massively with great actors PRETENDING to be singers,” the singer lamented last night as part of a truly winning Twitter rant. “The industry will say “these actors were so brave to attempt singing this score live”but why not cast actors who could actually sound good?” Now how are you going to argue with Adam Lambert on this issue? Claim he doesn’t know what good singing sounds like? Doing so would be but a fool’s errand, son.
Obviously, Les Miz fans were more than a little miffed at Glambert’s review. We still haven’t seen the sweeping epic (we know!), so we will withhold judgement, though to be fair we’ve heard mixed opinions about the vocal performance of everyone from Anne Hathaway to Russell Crowe since the first trailer dropped. What’s ironic about the whole thing is that Les Miz is basically the Adam Lambert of movie musicals: amazing hair, flawless wardrobe, maybe a little too grandiose but we’d all be disappointed if it wasn’t over-the-top. Even better? It’s not like Lamber’s apologizing! “Sorry for being so harsh but it’s so True!,” he tweeted. “I’m so glad we are all discussing this now! Look-I grew up w this musical and so my expectations are quite high. Didn’t mean to b negative.” You’re totally forgiven, Adam. Now what did you think of The Guilt Trip? Don’t hold back! Show Barbra no mercy! Rip Rogen to shreds!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Hold New Years, y’all, we’ve got even bigger news: Kanye West got Kim Kardashian pregnant! The rapper dropped the baby bomb last night during a concert at the Revel Casino in Atlantic City, where he refered to Kim as his “baby mama” in front of 5,000 fans, and gushed that “it’s the most amazing thing.” There had been rumors earlier in the week that Kim had joined the “extreme morning sickness” club, but stuff got real when fellow members of the Kardashian Klan took to Twitter to offer up their congrats.
“Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can!” wrote Kourtney Kardashian, who already has two young kids of her own. “Another angel to welcome to our family. Overwhelmed with excitement!” Sister Khloe also sent her well wishes. ”Keeping secrets is hard with so many family members! Especially when you are so freaking excited!!!!! LOVE is everything!!!” And of course, momager Kris Jenner got in on the action with a lame pun: ”Oh BABY BABY BABY!!”
Kim and Kanye have been dating since April, and they seem to have been pretty inseparable ever since. Kanye even wrote the song “Theraflu” for her, and rapped about her being his “perfect bitch.” We imagine they’re pretty pumped about the whole pregnancy thing, but we can think of one guy who might not be: Kim’s technical-husband Kris Humphries. The divorce still isn’t final on their 72-day-marriage, and he’s long made it clear that he intends to fight Kim in court. We’ll have to wait and see how these latest developments will affect the case. Getting pregnant with another dude’s baby while they’re still not divorced might be enough to rile the Brooklyn Nets player.
[Photo: Getty Images]
After watching Spider-Man: The Animated Series in 1997, we decided Venom and Mary Jane Watson were actually a better couple than Mary Jane and Spider-Man, and we haven’t looked back since. In case you’re new to the Internet, pretty much every TV show, movie or otherwise fictional couple has a huge fan base swooning over their relationship. It might be a well-established couple or the characters might have met once to sign for a UPS package, it doesn’t matter. Someone is obsessed with them declaring their eternal love. This is a phenomenon known as shipping, and it is 75% of the reason anyone even knows about Twilight.
Maybe we just spent too much time on Tumblr over the last twelve months (we really, really did!), but 2012 seemed like a year where shipping was front and center. From New Girl to Sherlock, everywhere we looked shippers were building onto the fictional universes they loved, mostly with smooching. So we decided to pay homage to the most passionately shipped relationships of this year as part of our Best of 2012. Don’t see your favorite couple? We probably just didn’t know about them yet, so inform us in the comments! 2013 is almost upon us and we want to feel that Venom/Mary Jane feeling again!