It’s impossible not to be fascinated by the story of Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o and his made-up girlfriend. Whether he was a victim or a co-conspirator in this whole deal, he’s got to be feeling pretty crappy today. Along with all the reporters who never bothered to check whether the girlfriend who tragically died the day before Manti’s big game last year ever existed before reporting on her death. But we can think of a handful of people who must be positively overjoyed about this story:
5. Nev Schulman, the star of MTV’s Catfish. Since Te’o and his school are claiming this was all an elaborate hoax, he is basically the highest profile victim of a “Catfish” scheme, and now we all know what that means. This is the best publicity for Schulman’s show, which follows people as they find out the shocking truth behind the person they met and fell in love with online.
4. Michael Lohan. We still think he’s a terrible person, but we’ve already basically forgotten yesterday’s story in Star, which quoted Lohan as saying Lindsay was getting paid to date very rich men. He later told TMZ that he was misquoted — Lindsay makes cash for her public appearances, not for escorting dudes — but we had already moved on to this Manti thing. Either way, he benefits.
3. Lindsay Lohan. For a minute she doesn’t seem like the worst decision maker on the planet. Read more…
They’ve been split for well over a year, but things haven’t settled much between Kris Humphries and the Kardashian Klan. His ex-wife Kim and her big sis Kourtney appeared on David Letterman last night to talk about a baby she’s having with a dude that’s not Kris, and to essentially discuss why he’s being a dick. So we imagine Kris probably switched over to Leno.
Kris has been complicating the legal actions to dissolve their marriage because he insists that the relationship was a sham and that Kim only married him to get a television special out of the deal. This sentiment is echoed by many detractors of the famous reality family, but Kourtney offered a particularly good comeback. “I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she’d pick someone that people knew,” she shot back to her haters. BOOM! Even Letterman seemed taken aback by the excellent point.
We’re excited to see what comes out of the new friendship between Howard Stern and Lena Dunham. After all, they love the same things: nudity, jokes, nudity, um, listening to themselves talk? We obviously love listening to them talk to, which is why we are emotional invested in the Girls creator’s visit to the Howard Stern Show today. After Lena repeated Stern’s description of her as a “little fat chick” on Letterman last Friday, Stern apologized for his choice of words. Today, he sooooort of stuck by that when Dunham came in for an interview. “I realize: not only am I addicted, but I totally get you. I’m in love with you and your character,” Stern said of Girls, before adding “It’s not about apologizing, although I want to say I’m a fan of yours … I love you and I think you’re terrific.” We know plenty of little terrific fat girls that we love, so we completely understand where Howard Stern is coming from!
Fortunately Dunham is not the kind of person who gets easily upset. (Of course she isn’t. Have you seen the mean things people write about her on the Internet?) “I’m not super thin, but I’m thin for, like, Detroit,” she quipped, to which Howard replied that she’s not “obese or anything.” Luckily for Stern, Lena took it in stride. “I appreciate it and I appreciate your effort to rectify [this], but whether you’d done that or not, I’d have remained a [Howard Stern] enthusiast,” Dunham replied. Either way, we have enough Lena Dunham love to overrde a million “fat girl” comments.
It horrifies us to think that some of you kids might only know Ben Affleck as a legitimate film director, not as the male half of a celebrity mega-couple. Are we so old and Hollywood so ever-changing? That’s the first thought that popped in our heads when we read Jennifer Lopez‘s exceedingly kind words about Affleck…and their experience as a celebrity couple. “[Argo] was a great movie,” Lopez told Ellen DeGeneres today. “And, we got you know, a lot of like … They were really hard on us in the press when we dated back in the day. On movies and things like that. So it was a nice moment. It was nice to see him have that moment. I was really happy for him.” That is true. There is no arguing that Bennifer was tabloid fodder for years, but maybe it wasn’t entirely the medias fault. So much of Bennifer was such perfect celeb gossip:
Is Jeremy Renner having a baby with his ex-girlfriend? If so, Tom Brady, Hugh Grant, Jude Law and probably 50,000 other celebs completely understand what he’s going through. According to Us Weekly, the Bourne Identity star was overheard at a Golden Globes afterparty telling Eva Longoria about the pregnancy. Allegedly Renner “was saying, ‘I’m going to fly in when her water break,’” to which Eva replied, ‘I’m so blown away,” thus confirming our belief that Eva Longoria does not actually know where babies come from.
The magazine also claimed that Jeremy and his ex “used to date but it wasn’t serious,” which seems to suggest it isn’t Renner’s most recent ex Jess Macallan, from whom he split in 2010 after four years of dating, who is carrying his child. Which is great, because Renner pretty much burned that proverbial bridge when he badmouthed her to The Hollywood Reporter last year. “That was part of the issue,” he explained in April 2012. ““I was going through the Hurt Locker campaign and she’s like, ‘Where do I get headshots?’” Getting your ex pregnant is one thing. Getting your ex who you trash-talked in public pregnant is quite another. Tom, Hugh and Jude do not feel your pain on that one. Actually, Jude Law might, but do you really want to commiserate with that guy?
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are splitting up, back together, having a baby, moving to Mars … the variety of conflicting rumors we’ve heard about them in the past two weeks is staggering. It’s impossible to tell if any of these are remotely believable, since they all come from “sources,” but we thought we’d round the latest ones up for your amusement, or so you can have an excuse to make the kind of exasperated faces Rob and Kristen are making in the photo above.
1.Rob and Kristen are fighting nonstop and he broke off their relationship just before the Golden Globes. This comes from The Sun, which says, “She flew to L.A. and was supposed to be Rob’s date for the Golden Globes, but he told her he wants to cool it off. He loves her but would rather go back to being good friends so they can rebuild their trust and focus on work after Twilight.” It’s also building off an earlier Life & Style report on their fighting: “Rob is at a point where he sometimes ignores her.
He’ll go out and won’t respond to her calls or texts right away.”
2. But hold on a second, Kristen and Rob were spotted together on the night of the Globes. “Wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a backward baseball cap, Bella met Robert at Tina & Amy’s private after-party at the Soho House in WeHo!” Perez Hilton reported. She was supposedly a no-show at the ceremony because she was afraid Tina Fey and Amy Poehler would crack jokes at her expense. Read more…
Well this just makes us want to burst into tears and watch The Parent Trap over and over in mourning for the pair of adorable little wise-crackin’ red-headed girls. Why, you ask? Because that pair of red-headed girls has grown up to become a single red-headed train-wreck called Lindsay Lohan, who is now reduced to being a high-priced escort. At least that’s if you believe her dad Michael, who has taken his bold claims to Star Magazine.
“She is getting paid to date rich men,” says the always quotable Mike. “Dina [her mother] is pimping her out – it’s disgusting!” The article goes on the quote another source with “insider” knowledge on all things Lohan. ”The dates last for days, and the guys pay for everything -hotel, travel costs, food, whatever- as well as jewelry and other gifts.” Some of the evidence does seem pretty damming. The financially strapped actress did indeed spend the New Years holiday with Prince Haji Abdul Azim of Brunei, for which she reportedly earned “at least $100,000″ plus assorted pricey gifts like iPads and more jewelry. And then there was the time she dated that 40-year-old billionaire named Vikram Chatwal.
In her life and career, Jessica Simpson has had some hits — her fashion empire, that one Nancy Sinatra cover, Newlyweds, baby Maxwell — and misses — Nick Lachey, John Mayer, Dukes of Hazzard, the rest of her music. But we are feeling really optimistic about her next big project: a sitcom based on her life for NBC. We’re sure it’s no accident that the day NBC announced they were shooting a pilot for untitled series, she made a very cute appearance on The Tonight Show (on NBC, natch). As she told Jay Leno about her second accidental pregnancy, she was not Chicken of the Sea-level cute, but she told the kind of sweet, self-deprecating story that would fit quite nicely into a not-too-groundbreaking half-hour comedy.
Asked if pregnancy number two was planned, she responded, “Oh, no! Apparently it was part of God’s plan for my life,” she laughed. “I was extremely shocked. I was going through a lot of hormonal changes trying to get back to the old vibrant Jessica. It was kind of like a one-night stand. And it happened all over again.” Read more…
While this is being filed firmly under the rumor category, you can’t deny that this feels like vintage Taylor Swift. It’s true — she always has a new man on her arm within a month of breaking up with someone. Someone suggested the term “serial dater” but we’ll demur from using that term for now. As you know, Ms. Swift and One Direction’s Harry Styles are done and dusted. Finito. They’re never, ever getting back together. But it seems like the you can’t keep the lady down too long, because sources suggest she tried to rope in Bradley Cooper on a date through Jennifer Lawrence while at the Golden Globes. Quick flowchart: Taylor and Jennifer are friends, Jennifer and Bradley are co-stars on Silver Linings Playbook. Another friend has suggested the term “trading up,” but again, we’ll demur.
Unfortunately, even in rumorville, things have not gone according to plan for Taylor, because Brad wasn’t exactly up for the date. Sources say, “Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor. First of all, her reputation precedes her. Bradley is very wary of dating someone who is a bit of a serial dater like Taylor. He thinks she’s far too young for him and wants to date someone his own age, not 16-years younger because he’s ready for something serious. It was a little awkward for Bradley. Jennifer came to him and told him that Taylor was interested in getting together. He had to politely decline, knowing full well that Jennifer and Taylor are friends.” Awkward! And the final nail in the coffin? This quote, “It was an ambitious move from Taylor, but she’s going to have fixate on someone else as Bradley’s just not that into her.” Is it just us, or are “sources” even sounding like 16-year-olds now?
It just goes to show you that sometimes, having an old dude drool over you in public really pays off. Not most times, of course. Most times it’s just awkward and you have to pretend the next bus stop is yours, but it looks Alabama QB AJ McCarron‘s girlfriend Katherine Webb is the exception to the rule. After ESPN commentator Brent Musburgerswooned over the former Miss Alabama’s striking good looks during the BCS Title game, Webb will be posing for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue this February. Ugh, wait until Brent finds out. Now he’ll never stop pointing out pretty women!