Breezy is bummed, y’all. Leaving L.A.’s Greystone Manor night club in the wee hours of Monday morning, Chris Brown was spotted getting all misty eyed. We can’t be sure, but it might have had something to do with the fact that his rumored lady love Rihanna had stormed out on her own a few minutes before. Just a thought. It sounded like a pretty uncomfortable night out for all concerned as Brown’s ex-Karrueche Tran also showed up at the very same night club, on the arm of another dude. Jeez you guys, Los Angeles is a pretty big city. Why does this damn love triangle keep partying at the same places!? All this awkwardness could have totally been avoided if they’d just checked in on Foursquare.
Whatever the case, and whatever his relationship status, emotion seemed to get the better of Brown as he was seen in tears being driven away from the club with his entourage, but without a lady. Riri for her part seemed calm, cool and collected as she made her way out into the parking lot wearing a short red mini skirt and rockin’ her help semi-shaved hairdo. It’s unknown at this time what went down between the two love rivals inside the club, but it definitely seemed like the were too close for comfort! Did Breezy freak because Karrueche has a new man? Did Rihanna catch them stealing a moment together? We suspect that we’ll have some kind of Twitter update from Ri shortly. Did Chris just blow his one chance of “not f–king up again” with Rihanna? We’ll see!
[Photo: Splash News Online/Getty Images/Twitter]
Here’s what we think we know about what Justin Timberlake said on Saturday, when he performed at DirecTV’s Super Bowl-eve bash in New Orleans: Reports from attendees, such as a HollywoodLife reporter, say that he told the crowd: “Sometimes in life, you think you found the one. But then one day you find out that she is just some bitch!” And then he launched into “Cry Me a River,” the song he’s admitted was about his breakup with Britney Spears.
So he’s calling Britney “some bitch,” right? But on Sunday evening, he tweeted:
OK, so that means he wasn’t talking about her “personally,” just generally, before singing one of his most personal songs, that he wrote maybe possibly after finding out that Britney maybe possibly cheated on him with dancer Wade Robson. He ws speaking generally about all those other major breakups he’s had (Cameron Diaz?). We get it. #Respect. Just keep on singing, JT. And don’t try to enter politics, please.
Because we love this hint of bitterness, though, we put this question to you:
Listen up, everybody. If you write a tell-all in this day and age, you had better bring it. Heck, Kris Jenner wrote a tell-all about herself in which she exposes her own infidelities. If you aren’t exposing someone’s love child or some Mommy Dearest-level insanity in your scandalous memoir, we are not even going to check it out from the library. It’s these high standards that made us so bummed to read about the “secrets” revealed in Christopher Gaida‘s new book Arm Candy: A Celebrity Escort’s Tales From The Red Carpet. Despite having escorted celebs to red-carpet events (entirely platonically, as we were saddened to find out) for fourteen years, some of Giada’s non-revelations include:
While we’re not exactly foaming at the mouth to help these goons achieve their pursuit of 15 more minutes of fame, we are loo-ooo-ooving the craziness Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are coming up with to try to be relevant. Like their claims that they spent $10 million dollars believing the Mayan Apocalypse was drawing near, for example. “We made and spent at least 10 million dollars,” Spencer allegedly told OK! Magazine. “The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits.” Of course, Speidi’s End Times shopping spree story is probably slightly less humiliating than the actual story, which is probably that they spent it for no reason. They just dumb. No cataclysmic world catastrophe needed!
Of course, asteroid panic isn’t the only bizarre thing these two claim to be up to. As you might recall, earlier in January Pratt claimed that someone had “stolen” his phone and threatened to leak “intimate photos” of Montag. Haha, okay. Sure, guys! Fortunately that did not happen, perhaps because we already saw a number of Heidi “intimate photos” in Playboy…three years ago. “Here’s some advice, definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming. But the world didn’t end,” Pratt sighed to OK! “I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.” On the other hand, if Speidi actually did spend all their cash in some kind of End of the World frenzy, that would explain why they are trying to force us to care again. Haha, sorry guys! The gig is up! We will always love and cherish Heidi’s “Body Language,” and this is it as far as you two are concerned.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
We’re not claiming to be Dakota Fanning experts or anything. We like think of the five hours we spend each night watching her old movies and researching the veracity of her IMDB page as pleasure rather than business, but either way we know that Dakota Fanning’s much-touted nude scene in the upcoming film Very Good Girls is nowhere near her most scandalous cinematic moment. “Yeah, well, I’ve never done that before and I’m very newly allowed to do that,” the Breaking Dawn – Part 2 star told MTV about her nude sex scene. “I was newly 18, so yeah, it was, it’s kind of a sensitive thing, but it’s a part of life.” ” Added Dakota, “No one’s ever comfortable [doing love scenes].” Okay, fine, but how comfortable were we supposed to be watching Dakot’s other films?
Think about it: Dakota and Kristen Stewart smooched out for 2010’s The Runways, a scene which is allegedly historically accurate but clearly shot in a way that suggests it’s supposed to be “super-scandalous.” We can all remember the controversy surrounding Fanning’s rape scene in 2007’s Hounddog, which was shoot in 2006…when the actress was 12. Last year Dakota starred in Now Is Good, in which she played a girl dying of leukemia…while trying to lose her virginity. Compared to the rest of her oeuvre, actually, an 18-year-rold Dakota stripping down for a straight forward sex scene is downright wholesome. We’d almost go so far as to say it makes us miss the days of I Am Sam, but nothing is that strong.
Photo: Getty Images]
For seven seasons, 30 Rock fulfilled our most American need: “to sit on a couch talking on the phone about a TV show they’re watching based on a YouTube clip.” Well…okay, everything except the YouTube part. Now at 8:00pm EST tonight, the show draws to a close with double episodes “Hogcock!” and “Last Lunch.” We learned so much about the universe created by Tina Fey and her team of affable weirdos, from Liz’s struggle to find love to the importance of finishing your morning shower scotch. The most valuable lessons we learned, however, had to do with being famous: what to do with your new-found wealth (spend it on exotic sharks!), how to maintain your youthful glow (eating any placentas you can get your hands on!) and how to never, ever, ever go out with Mickey Rourke. A man with a catapult and a sex grill? That’s a deal breaker, ladies!
So we thought we’d round up the show’s 15 most important lessons about being a celebrity, which will be tremendously helpful if we manage to get cast in The Rural Juror 2 or Honkey Grandma Be Tripping In Jail. As Dr. Spaceman once put it, “There’s not really a name for what Tracy has. Basically, it’s erratic tendencies and delusions brought on by excessive notoriety.” Ah yes…we believe you call that fame.
We’ve already been waiting for two years for the alleged Annie remake with music by Jay-Z. Now we’re thinking the movie was destined to take forever so it could feature a different leading lady. According to Variety, while Jay-Z is still penning the musical’s music, Will Smith is still producing and Easy A‘s Will Gluck is directing, Willow Smith is no longer involved. Which we think is kind of good news, since Quvenzhané Wallis is clearly the best choice to play the lead character in the new Annie!
Think about it: Quvenzhané is 9, while Willow is already…oh our God, Willow Smith is only 12?!?! The fact she isn’t even a teen yet and she’s given “Whip My Hair” to the world makes us look at our resume and weep. Okay, so while Willow is clearly still young enough to play the musical’s titular orphan, her musical tastes already seems a little mature for such kid’s fare. Did you hear her most recent song “Sugar And Spice”? Willow doesn’t seems like she wants to be dancing around with a dog and a bald guy. Quvenzhané, however, would bring the same intense, adorable energy to the remake as she did to Beasts of the Southern Wild. The only thing that could make an Annie remake better is if a Best Actress nominee starred in it, right? Right.
Related: Quvenzhané Wallis: 7 Reasons To Love The Youngest Best Actress Oscar Nominee
[Photo: Getty Images]
We’ve been on our death bed all day, trying to recover from Nick and Jess’s first kiss on New Girl last night. Could that kiss have been any better? On one hand, dear God, no. The heavy breathing? The two small kisses at the end? We aren’t made of stone here, people! On the other hand, there is nothing more gratifying than a long-awaited TV kiss, and there have been a number of shows who absolutely killed it. How do Nick and Jess compare to, say, a Sam and Diane? A Damon and Elena? A Pam and Jim? Using our totally objective (read: highly personal) opinions, let’s see how their first smooch stacked up to the epic TV first kisses that came before:
Earlier this week, we told you about how Miley Cyrus referred to her boyfriend/fiance/superstud Liam Hemsworth as her “hubby” in an interview with Cosmopolitan. The quote sparked an untold number of rumors suggestion that the power-couple have already tied the knot without us catching on. Well, it turns out we missed a crucial part of the interview: She actually straight up said she was married, y’all! “I’m happy I don’t have to date anyone,” she said within the pages. And later on while telling an anecdote she dropped another glaring hint nugget: “‘I’m so happy I’m married, because you guys are so cruel!'”
OK, so she might have just taken a conversational short cut, and what she meant to say was “I’m so happy that I’m about to get married in the very near future.” But that’s kind of a mouthful, no? A rep for Hemsworth strenuously denied the wedding bell buzz to People, saying that they are “definitely NOT married.”
But hey, reps deny stuff all the time. And it doesn’t explain those Twitpics from Christmas that showed Miley and Liam wearing matching rings. And it really doesn’t explain why those same photos mysteriously vanished soon after being posted! Did Miley and Liam get married in secret? It wouldn’t be the first time in Hollywood history. Head on down to the gallery below and see 20 other famous couples who got hitched on the super DL!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Thank you, National Enquirer, for calling our attention to an issue we as a pop-culture society should come together to solve: The health and well-being of our national treasures, aged former sitcom stars. We first became aware of this issue last year, when it was discovered that Happy Days star Erin Moran was homeless and bouncing from motel to motel. Today, we learned that another beloved face from the ’70s and ’80s, Eight Is Enough’s Susan Richardson is suffering from a number of health problems and scraping by in a broken down trailer. The diabetic 60-year-old, who played one of Dick Van Patten’s eight children on the ABC show that ran from 1977-81, has had strokes and also an incurable digestive tract condition that made her lose her teeth, the Enquirer reports (via Radar Online). In addition to a pension, she’s earning a living by turning fallen branches into walking canes for vets — which sounds both really sad and rather resourceful.