Okay, so we don’t actually know if Taylor Swift and Harry Styles have actually broken up or not. Maybe Richard Branson‘s island exerts mysterious influences on people, Lost-style. While we hope Haylor lasts unto eternity, forever and ever amen, we would be remiss if we didn’t point out that there are plenty of other fish in the sea for TSwift. Fish with boyish laughs and beautiful hair and emotional issues just begging to be memorialized in song. Fish like…
If you’re anything like us, you still occasionally stop in the middle of the produce aisle or on the elliptical to ponder out loud, “Why did Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss have to break up?” Apparently the SNL star is finally ready to reveal at least part of the truth behind his divorce from the Mad Men star. How they hooked up in the first place…well, that’s still anyone’s guess. “I think I was a terrible husband, I think I’m a terrible boyfriend,” Armisen revealed on Howard Stern. Howard Stern went on to conjecture that Moss must “f—king hate” Armisen to have once commented “the greatest impersonation he does is that of a normal person.” Fred replied, “I imagine so.” Yikes. So…the answer seems to be that Fred Armisen is just the worst?
“I want it all — fast,” the Portlandia star said by way of explanation. “I want to be married . . . the amount of girls I’ve lived with right away . . . and then somewhere around a year, two years, I get freaked out.” Okay, well. We’ve probably heard enough. Oh, we haven’t? “Do you feel entitled to more women?” Stern inquired. “I don’t want to admit that out loud to myself, but that probably is it,” Armisen replied. Oh double yikes. We could read that Al Roker poop story while eating beef chili, but hearing Fred Armisen say he wants “more women” makes our insides frown.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We don’t have to tell you how psyched we were for Magic Mike. It certainly wasn’t a secret how the interns had to spray us down with a garden hose whenever we blogged about it too much. That being said, even we were shocked by the story director Steven Soderbergh told while introducing Matthew McConaughey at the New York Critics Circle awards. “While we were shooting Matthew’s script sequence, one very impassioned woman extra pulled his G-string off and tried to stick her finger up his butt,” Soderbergh said out loud in front of other people yesterday. “And when I remembered that, I thought, You know, where I come from, you stand up for a guy who brings that kind of game to your movie.” Did we mention Soderbergh said this while welcoming McConaughey onstage to accept his Best Supporting Actor award for Magic Mike and Bernie? Amazing.
Of course, we don’t mean to imply that it’s awesome that an extra would try to stick their finger in anyone’s butt without an explicit invitation. We just think it’s great that Steven Soderbergh would bring it up in front of the New York media elite and Daniel Day-Lewis. “I don’t think she was trying to stick her finger up my butt,” McConaughey clarified once he took the stage “She was trying to put it somewhere, though, and you got it on film. It worked out.” Trying to put it somewhere that wasn’t his butt? What. Does. That. Even. Mean? Oh no, our body temperature is skyrocketing! Someone go get the hose!
[Photo: Warner Bros.]
There’s so much to talk about! Join Halle Kiefer and Lindsey Weber on Very VH1 today as they discuss Al Roker and the Greatest Celebrity TMI of All Time, the alleged end of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, Ryan Lochte‘s new reality show and more! Tune in at 2PM EST. Check out the video below to watch the show and click on the comment icon in the upper right hand corner to participate in the chat. See you then!
You’d think that there would be enough exclusive Hollywood nightspots to make awkward encounters pretty hard to come by. But we guess run-ins do occur, as Chris Brown’s ex girlfriend Karrueche Tran can definitely tell you. The model rolled up to the LA nightclub MyStudio on Sunday for a night of fun with her friends, including Christina Milian. But things got significantly less fun when she learned that her love-rival Rihanna was already inside! According to Hollywood Life, Karrueche stayed for only 15 minutes before understandably bouncing, tweeting “What a night.” Hmmm, sounds awkward as hell. Let’s hope she got her cover charge back at least.
Rihanna responded with a tweet of her own, which doesn’t reference Tran by name but definitely seems like a sideswipe. “B—h don’t kill my vibe,” she captioned an Instagram’d picture with some intense text:
There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.
If Kim Kardashian’s baby turns out to be a boy, we are already bracing ourselves for Fresh Prince of Bel Air jokes now that she and Kanye West have reportedly bought an $11 million home in the ritzy neighborhood. According to TMZ, the couple are turning the 10,000 square-foot home into a 14,000 square foot “Italian-style villa,” complete with movie theater, salon, bowling alley, basketball court, and indoor and outdoor pools. With that many recreation options, we hope they don’t opt to stay home too much instead of hitting the town where we can catch site of them and Babye.
After plunking down money for a new home like that, we are still surprised they didn’t take that $3 million deal for baby pics. Must be nice to have enough money to take a moral stand like that! (Unless, of course, they’re still waiting for a better offer.) Anyway, if paying the mortgage gets tough, they could always turn to the latest tactic Khloe is trying out on the eBay site she and Lamar Odom started to raise money for his Catherine’s Kids Foundation. Khloe’s unloading old clothing, including a used sports bra!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Dina and Lindsay Lohan in 1986, following the alleged assault.
After Dina Lohan went to the New York Daily News with her story about how ex-husband Michael Lohan assaulted her in 1986 and raped her in 1990, Lindsay’s mother gave Entertainment Tonight three photos of herself with a black eye following the 1986 incident. Dina had actually spoken to the show back in September about the abuse, but the photos seem to have caught everyone’s attention now. And Michael Lohan, of course, was quick to respond.
“I didn’t punch her,” Michael told ET, reiterating his version of the incident, which he said started when Dina hit him in the back of the head with an ice tray. “I didn’t do anything deliberately to attack her. I swung out of reflex … she’s twisting everything.”
We kind of fail to see how swinging “out of reflex” is any less of an assault to a woman, by the way, especially when this reflex results in the black eye we see above. But since it’s a little too late for Dina to do anything about this, we do see his point that her timing is suspiciously self-serving. Ugh, they are both the worst.
[Photo courtesy ETOnline.com]
Related: Lindsay Lohan’s Mom Blames Everything On Michael Lohan’s Abuse, Dating Back To 1986
We always knew we liked Al Roker. That charming smile, that warm laugh, that total lack of filter. We also knew we were leery of gastric bypass surgery. Turns out, we were right on all accounts, as evidenced by the fact that…um…Al Roker accidentally pooped his pants at the White House. While that’s certainly better than intentionally pooping your pants at the White House, it’s both amazing and shocking to hear the Today Show weatherman admit to going Code Brown with the President of the United States in the next room. Apparently it all started after Al allegedly ate something outside of the dietary restrictions set following his surgery. “And as I’m walking to the press room, I think I gotta pass a little gas here. So, I’m walking by myself, who’s gonna know, only, a little something extra came out,” Al admits to Dateline‘s Dr. Nancy Snyderman. “I pooped in my pants. Not horribly, but enough that I knew.” Not. Horribly. Not horribly, but enough that everyone in the free world would one day know.
When we included Ryan Lochte on our 10 Things We’d Like to Leave Behind In 2012, we were only referring to medal-winning, Speedo-filling, grill-sporting, 30 Rock-cameoing Ryan Lochte. We enjoyed that Ryan Lochte immensely! We just felt like we’d had enough of him. The part of us that selected him as #12 on our 12 Celebs Who Dominated 2012 list must have known something wonderful was a-brewin’. That something is an E! reality show entitled What Would Ryan Lochte Do? You know, like those bracelets that ask What Would Jesus Do? So, so great. We really underestimated this guy. Plus we’re finally going to find out exactly how many pools Ryan has peed in!
“How deep is the pool of Ryan Lochte? It turns out, very deep.” E! wisely asked today while announcing the new six-episode series. The show will follow Lochte in and out of the water as he trains for the 2016 Rio Olympics, as well as manages his fashion line, interacts with his friends and family and (be still our hearts!) spends his spare moments “looking for the right girl.” This man’s life could not be more perfectly-suited for a reality show. Plus you know there’s a cavernous warehouse already filled with Jeah! t-shirts somewhere. E! just saved themselves some money right there.
Shame on us forgetting the piercing blue eyes and adorable smile of Kyle XY star Matt Dallas. Happy 2013 to us. Oh, and to Dallas too. Apparently he rang in the new year by both publicly announcing his engagement and the fact his beloved is a man in one convenient tweet! “Starting off the year with a new fiance, @bluehamilton. A great way to kick off 2013!” the actor gushed along with a photo of his musician boyfriend. On top of that, Matt’s tweet also introduced the world to the cutest dog alive and his little monkey friend. What can’t 140 characters do?