Hurray! Also, uh oh! After months and months of gossip about real and faked Carly Rae Jepsen nude photos, TMZ reports that the total lamer who allegedly hacked the singer’s computer has been arrested after turning himself into police on Friday, December 7. It’s all great news…until you realize that it confirms both that Carly got hacked and that she had nude photos taken from her possession. Were we the only ones naive enough to think after all this time it might still be a rumor? Of course, why would Jepsen’s peeps and the authorities have been trying to nail this guy since March if it was a rumor? Boy, do we feel dumb! We also feel like the only people on the planet who don’t keep nude photos of themselves on their computers.
While in custody in Vancouver, 25-year-old Christopher David Long was charged with “fraudulently obtaining telecommunications services, unauthorized use of computer, mischief to data, identity fraud, and possession of stolen property.” Mischief to data! What, did he Photoshop Paula Deen riding Carly, too? Was Sad Keanu watching it all go down? Oh, the indignity! Long was later released and must return to court on January 4. On the plus side, if any naked Jepsen photos get released over the holidays, at least we know who’s butt is getting thrown in jail. We’ll say a little holiday prayer his is the only butt we have to blog about.
Just when we had imagined Kate Middleton couldn’t feel worse, between the constantly vomiting and the tragic suicide of the nurse pranked by those Australian DJs attempting to contact Middleton, Morrissey steps in to rake her over the coals. Yes, the singer Morrissey. Why? Aw, it’s sweet you still think these things have to have a why. “It wasn’t because of two DJs in Australia that this woman took her own life — it was the pressure around her,” the singer told New Zealand’s 3News, declaring that Kate “feels no shame about the death of this woman. She’s saying nothing about the death of this poor woman. The arrogance of the British royals is absolutely staggering.” Whaaaaaa?
If that wasn’t harsh enough, Moz also accused Kate of having an eating disorder. “Does she have a health condition?” he mused. “Is it anorexia or is it pregnancy? I mean, morning sickness already? So much hoo haw and then suddenly as bright as a button as soon as this poor woman dies she’s out of hospital? It doesn’t ring true.” While we’ll see if we can dig up some more info on the MEDICAL DEGREE Morrissey must have obtained recently, we gather five of the most off-the-wall feuds Moz has gotten into in recent history. It ain’t like this is a new thing.
Move over, Jennifer Lawrence! Not all the way over; we still want to hang out with you forever. We just wanted to make room for Amanda Seyfried, who we liked the second her breasts told us it was raining in Mean Girls and whom we love now that she has apparently lost her filter. “I understand that I have a problem maybe, but you know? It really gets me through,” the Les Miserablesactress laughed last night on Letterman when discussing the fact she was “pretty drunk” on whiskey during her interview. Eeeeee, girl! We know 50% of actors and actresses could probably say the same thing, but we enjoy the fact you actually did.
On today’s Very Vh1, Halle Kiefer and Lindsey Weber will be riffing on Anne Hathaway‘s red carpet wardrobe malfunction, Drew Barrymore‘s adorable babe and the utter filth Nick Cannon shared about Mariah Carey on Stern yesterday. It should be great! Join us at 2:00pm EST! Just check out the video below to watch the show and click the comment icon in the upper right hand corner to participate in the chat.
The ruling came this morning in an LA court, where Lilo wasn’t present because she’s indulging in her new-found Wanted super-fandom status in London. Commissioner Jane Godfrey arraigned Lindsay on charges that she lied to cops in the wake of her car crash last June, and had a comically inconsistent accent in Liz & Dick (not true). Godfrey set a hearing date for January 15th to decide whether or not Lindsay is guilty of violating her probation, which was put in place after her ridiculous jewelery stealing caper last year. If so there’s a chance that she could be off to prison, but TMZ is reporting that Godfrey is unlikely to do so as she “is not a big jail person.” A viewing of Liz & Dick might change her mind.
Anne Hathaway was overheard telling Vanity Fair writer Ingrid Sischy all about her unfortunate wardrobe malfunction, another diner was, er, kind enough to relay this info to the New York Daily News. “I was getting out of the car and my dress was so tight that I didn’t realize it until I saw all the photographers’ flashes,” the Les Miz star said over lunch at the Four Seasons. “It was devastating. They saw everything. I might as well have lifted up my skirt for them.”
Sorry AP9, if that is even your real name! The photos of you snuggling Coco at a nightclub recently might have been enough to start a marital dispute, but they were no match for the deep cosmic love that flows between Coco and Ice-T. So let us never talk about them splitting up ever, ever again. People’s Exhibit A: the pair were spotted out at an event at Last Rite’s Gallery in New York City Monday night. We can only assume their matching outfits were an intentional statement of solidarity…and awesomeness.
In case the solidness of their union was in doubt, Ice-T has been on a consistently hilarious rant against the haters pretty much all day, with bon mots like “Everyone with opinions about MY personal life.. Can ‘Eat a Hot Bowl of D—s’ Check YOUR b—-.” and of course “My wife checks 100k a week….. Worry about your broke h-….. Not your b—-. Not your concern.” Is it wrong to feel this emotionally invested in a couple you don’t know in real life? Maybe. On the other hand…well, we write celebrity gossip for a living and you read it. No one has to know how we feel here. No one. This is a safe space.
We wish we could claim we were at all surprised by Nick Cannon‘s super TMI overshares on Howard Stern this morning. Scandalized, yes, but not surprised. Doesn’t it make a lot of sense that Nick and Mariah Carey would make love to Mimi’s music? Doesn’t it somehow feel right? Everyone else in the world has done it at some point; why shouldn’t they get the opportunity as well? That’s where we draw the line, though. Cannon’s admission that, uh, he masturbates to Mariah’s ballad “Hero” or how he and Mariah abstained from sex before marriage were a bit much. “It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I’m still going in,” Cannon said by way of explaining their abstinence. “Either way she’s still one of the most beautiful women on the planet.” Oh jeez, why did you have to call to mind a Mariah Carey blowjob? Now there is no way Mariah won’t scream at you over this!
On the other hand, Nick’s so friendly and goofy during the interview, we’re sure Mariah will only berate at him for a few hours. And let’s be honest…he might like. That doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t drop our monocles over the details of their sex life. Honestly, it’s almost like Jay-Z blowing up Beyonce‘s sexual spot. No,…forget we said that. That would never, ever, ever happen. Ever. If it would, you know we would immediately put it in our 20 Celebrity Sex Overshares:
The holidays are a time to celebrate goodwill for all human kind. And that’s cool and all, but that stuff gets sort of old after a while. So now let’s take a minute and take a look at all famous folks who didn’t get the peace and harmony memo! We’ve assembled our list of the top 20 most brutal celebrity beat-downs of 2012. Join us in a chant of “Fight fight fight!” and check it out!
Rob Kardashian didn’t handle his heartbreak all that great following his split with Rita Ora. Instead of posting passive aggressive Facebook statuses like the rest of us, he went on an all-out Twitter assault against his former flame, claiming that she cheated on him with 20 dudes, and coining the obvious pun, “Rita Whora,” which became a trending topic soon after. #Revenge? #SmallVictories
Tay and Lilo are definitely not the first famous ladies who have been swayed by the charms of a boy-bander. And chances are high that they won’t be the last either! Sure, everyone knows about Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, but remember that time he hooked up with Jenna Dewan? They obviously didn’t last, but we guess she made out ok in the end by marrying Channing Tatum and all. Before her punch-filled love triangle, Halle Berry stepped out with New Kid on the Block Danny Wood. Joe Jonas can count Camilla Belle and Taylor Swift among his suitors, whereas Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus preferred his brother Nick. Head down to the gallery below to see the boy-band hookups that you totally forgot about!