And now over to Really Obvious News Corner, with today’s update that you completely saw coming a mile off. Lindsay Lohan’s probation has officially been revoked today, meaning that the troubled actress could face up to 245 days in prison. Which is a fitting sentence, because the whole time we were watching Liz & Dick we couldn’t help thinking to ourselves, “Wow, this is so bad, it’s like spending 245 days in prison!” At least the punishment fits the crime.
The ruling came this morning in an LA court, where Lilo wasn’t present because she’s indulging in her new-found Wanted super-fandom status in London. Commissioner Jane Godfrey arraigned Lindsay on charges that she lied to cops in the wake of her car crash last June, and had a comically inconsistent accent in Liz & Dick (not true). Godfrey set a hearing date for January 15th to decide whether or not Lindsay is guilty of violating her probation, which was put in place after her ridiculous jewelery stealing caper last year. If so there’s a chance that she could be off to prison, but TMZ is reporting that Godfrey is unlikely to do so as she “is not a big jail person.” A viewing of Liz & Dick might change her mind.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Anne Hathaway was overheard telling Vanity Fair writer Ingrid Sischy all about her unfortunate wardrobe malfunction, another diner was, er, kind enough to relay this info to the New York Daily News. “I was getting out of the car and my dress was so tight that I didn’t realize it until I saw all the photographers’ flashes,” the Les Miz star said over lunch at the Four Seasons. “It was devastating. They saw everything. I might as well have lifted up my skirt for them.”
Sorry AP9, if that is even your real name! The photos of you snuggling Coco at a nightclub recently might have been enough to start a marital dispute, but they were no match for the deep cosmic love that flows between Coco and Ice-T. So let us never talk about them splitting up ever, ever again. People’s Exhibit A: the pair were spotted out at an event at Last Rite’s Gallery in New York City Monday night. We can only assume their matching outfits were an intentional statement of solidarity…and awesomeness.
In case the solidness of their union was in doubt, Ice-T has been on a consistently hilarious rant against the haters pretty much all day, with bon mots like “Everyone with opinions about MY personal life.. Can ‘Eat a Hot Bowl of D—s’ Check YOUR b—-.” and of course “My wife checks 100k a week….. Worry about your broke h-….. Not your b—-. Not your concern.” Is it wrong to feel this emotionally invested in a couple you don’t know in real life? Maybe. On the other hand…well, we write celebrity gossip for a living and you read it. No one has to know how we feel here. No one. This is a safe space.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
We wish we could claim we were at all surprised by Nick Cannon‘s super TMI overshares on Howard Stern this morning. Scandalized, yes, but not surprised. Doesn’t it make a lot of sense that Nick and Mariah Carey would make love to Mimi’s music? Doesn’t it somehow feel right? Everyone else in the world has done it at some point; why shouldn’t they get the opportunity as well? That’s where we draw the line, though. Cannon’s admission that, uh, he masturbates to Mariah’s ballad “Hero” or how he and Mariah abstained from sex before marriage were a bit much. “It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I’m still going in,” Cannon said by way of explaining their abstinence. “Either way she’s still one of the most beautiful women on the planet.” Oh jeez, why did you have to call to mind a Mariah Carey blowjob? Now there is no way Mariah won’t scream at you over this!
On the other hand, Nick’s so friendly and goofy during the interview, we’re sure Mariah will only berate at him for a few hours. And let’s be honest…he might like. That doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t drop our monocles over the details of their sex life. Honestly, it’s almost like Jay-Z blowing up Beyonce‘s sexual spot. No,…forget we said that. That would never, ever, ever happen. Ever. If it would, you know we would immediately put it in our 20 Celebrity Sex Overshares:
[Photo: Getty Images]
The holidays are a time to celebrate goodwill for all human kind. And that’s cool and all, but that stuff gets sort of old after a while. So now let’s take a minute and take a look at all famous folks who didn’t get the peace and harmony memo! We’ve assembled our list of the top 20 most brutal celebrity beat-downs of 2012. Join us in a chant of “Fight fight fight!” and check it out!
20. Rita Ora vs. Rob Kardashian: Rita Whora’s Revenge
Rob Kardashian didn’t handle his heartbreak all that great following his split with Rita Ora. Instead of posting passive aggressive Facebook statuses like the rest of us, he went on an all-out Twitter assault against his former flame, claiming that she cheated on him with 20 dudes, and coining the obvious pun, “Rita Whora,” which became a trending topic soon after. #Revenge? #SmallVictories
Stitches required: Just 1 for Rob’s broken heart.
Taylor Swift is holding hands with Harry Styles of One Direction, Lindsay Lohan is partying down and stealing the sweatshirt of Max George from The Wanted. Boy bands are back in a big way, and they’re stealing some of the brightest lights in tinsel town! But then again, who could blame them with their cool hair and cool clothes and…other cool guys with cool hair and cool clothes around them. Gah, sometimes is really does pay to travel in groups!
Tay and Lilo are definitely not the first famous ladies who have been swayed by the charms of a boy-bander. And chances are high that they won’t be the last either! Sure, everyone knows about Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, but remember that time he hooked up with Jenna Dewan? They obviously didn’t last, but we guess she made out ok in the end by marrying Channing Tatum and all. Before her punch-filled love triangle, Halle Berry stepped out with New Kid on the Block Danny Wood. Joe Jonas can count Camilla Belle and Taylor Swift among his suitors, whereas Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus preferred his brother Nick. Head down to the gallery below to see the boy-band hookups that you totally forgot about!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Model and donk queen Coco posts dozens upon dozens of scandalous booty pics to Twitter every second (slight exaggeration), and her husband Ice-T is totally cool with it. But when photos of her getting uncomfortably close to another man are posted: Look out! Ice has officially thawed into a very pissed off dude. It all started on Saturday when rap impresario AP9 posted pics to his Instagram of himself at a nightclub getting cozy with Coco. The images have since been deleted (along with the rest of his Instagram account) but they showed the two cuddling, nuzzling and giving each other pecks on the cheek and neck.
Coco’s first reaction to the photos was just laugh it off. “Woke up to people in a panic about some pics,” she wrote to her Twitter followers. “Please guys, I’m happily married. Sometimes fans and friends take silly pics. It’s harmless. #RELAX.” But Ice did not relax, and posted a series of angry tweets giving his views on the situation. “Don’t get it twisted, I’m not happy about this s—. Most of ]the pictures] are disrespectful and in bad taste. She’s made me look and feel like s—. I say this on Twitter because there’s no way to avoid the obvious misconduct of a married couple.”
Coco owned up to her mistake soon after. “Ice is right, the pics I took with this man were in poor taste & I disrespected my husband however the pics were the only thing that happened,” she insisted. “I feel so sad,the bottom line is I love Ice & I can understand why he’s upset theres no excuse for my actions. I’m so sorry baby & to evryone.” The storm seems to have blown over, and Ice even went so far as to delete his tweets regarding the subject. “I said my part. No need to promote the situation,” he explained when asked why he had done so.
We know they’ll pull through, because they’re pretty much the cutest duo of all time. Head down to the gallery below to see our favorite photos of our favorite couple!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Lindsay Lohan’s been having all kinds of fun with the boys from The Wanted in the past week, and we’re not exactly sure if that’s a good thing for the troubled star. “She can party nearly as hard as we can,” singer Max George, with whom she’s gotten particularly close, told Us Weekly after the group performed at Jingle Ball this week. “We’re probably not the best influences.”
Are they? On the one hand, it was rumored that the fight that resulted in Lindsay’s arrest two weeks ago actually started over George, that seems like a negative in their column. On the other hand, the whole time she was following the British group around from Philly to Boston and back to New York, she didn’t get into a single hit-and-run or assault!
Lately Rihanna’s life has been like a soap opera, except with more nudity. A lot more nudity. Usually the nudity occurs when we least expect it. So in a sense it’s more like a porno soap opera, but with a really awesome soundtrack fulled with Riri hits. Glad we cleared that all up. In the latest episode of her on-going saga, the singer went off at Chris Brown on Twitter over the weekend, allegedly for hanging out with his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran.
Rihanna and Brown had been hanging out in Germany for Ri’s appearance on the television program Wetten, dass…? and all was swell. In fact, there was even rumors that they would attend the Grammy Awards together as a couple in February, four years after their infamous post-Grammy feud. But then Chris flew to Paris and was reportedly joined by his ex Karrueche. This apparently didn’t sit well with Rihanna, who fired off a series of angry tweets that seemed very much directed to her intimate man-friend.
The lady can be famously brutal on twitter, and she definitely didn’t hold back for Brown. “Goodbye muthaf—– #takeoff,” she wrote, followed by a picture reading “Claps for the basic b——,” that she captioned “Round of applause.” Then she finished up with one more parting shot, “You give, you get, then you give it the f— back.” Trouble in paradise or a lover’s spat? Time will tell.
Stop whatever you’re doing. It means nothing now. We just learned that Betty White is going to be alone for Christmas, and in doing so learned how truly we as a collective have failed. The Hot In Cleveland actress was chatting with People about her golden retriever Pontiac this week at an anniversary part for L.A.’s Love and Leash animal charity. “He had little growths on his leg and he had to have it removed, so he had to wear one of those plastic collars so he wouldn’t take his stitches out,” Betty said about her pup. “Well, he got it off today and he’s a happy Ponty tonight!” Sweet, charming, adorable: everything we’ve come to expect from a Betty White anecdote. And then.
Then the former Golden Girl says this: “He’s my family. It’s just the two of us for Christmas because I’m alone, and so we just have a cozy day all day. We look forward to that all year.” NOOOOOOOOO! This is unacceptable, people. We cannot accept this. How did we as a species let this happen? There is not a family alive who wouldn’t want Betty White at their holiday party! If 90-year-old Betty White is alone on Christmas, then that is inevitably what will happen to all of us! We will personally pick Betty up in a horse-drawn sleigh and take her across America to have hot chocolate under the Rockefeller Christmas tree if if need be. We’ll all take shifts driving. Steering? Do you drive or steer a horse-drawn sleigh? Never mind! We’ll ask the rental guy when we make reservations.
[Photo: Getty Images]