Today in totally random news that resulted in us doing the kinds of Internet searches that would get us fired at any other workplace: Don Johnson’s penis. As sheltered children of the ’80s and ’90s, we weren’t exactly aware before today that the Miami Vice star — ex-husband of Melanie Griffith and father of Ben and Kate’s Dakota Johnson — has long been rumored to be particularly well-endowed. He appears in all kinds of lists of anatomically gifted famous men. That super reliable source of info, Wiki Answers, even posits that the actor is the origin of the use of “Johnson” as a euphemism for the organ — which we’re pretty sure can’t be true but find endlessly amusing anyway.
For some reason, however, Johnson, who co-stars in Django Unchained, was quick to debunk this rumor in a chat with Rolling Stone. “Look, I’ve seen guys with a lot bigger [penises] than me,” he said. “One time, I was in the Celtics locker room talking to Larry Bird and Kevin McHale … and there’s Dennis Johnson coming out of the showers and, dude, that’s who put the Johnson in Johnson. I mean, it must have shown on my face, because when I turned back to Larry, he looked at me and said, ‘I know, huh?’ and I was like, ‘Dude, that’s a weapon.’ ”
Well, that gives another meaning to this eulogy of Dennis Johnson, who died in 2007 of a heart attack: “He always rose to the occasion.” Sorry!
The two-headed monster of reality TV, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, are back in the biz — but their (many) haters on this side of the Atlantic can breathe a sigh of relief for now, since they’re making their return in the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother. For a few days now, we were all wondering whether the Hills couple was pulling some kind of stunt, since their tour through London was suspiciously well-documented by the paps. Then they made their big plans official as they entered the BB house last night. “It’s going to be hard because I really don’t like other people,” Pratt said in a taped interview, per Us Weekly. “I’m ready to get in there. I’m ready to do battle. It’s on.”
It’s not that surprising that Speidi are returning to the reality-TV game, especially after they told Access Hollywood last year that they’d squandered $1 million and were living in a place owned by Spencer’s family to save money.
In case you have selective amnesia, here are some other highlights from the illustrious career of Speidi:
After launching her career as Lauren Conrad’s roommate on The Hills, Heidi stole the show once she hooked up with Spencer, who quickly became LC’s enemy.
While on the show, the couple eloped in a stunt designed for the tabloids. That actually turned out not to be a legal union, so they got married in a huge ceremony on The Hills.
Spencer helped finance Heidi’s “singing” career, which peaked when she sang her single, “Body Language,” at the Miss Universe pageant in 2009.
Uh oh. If you’re one of those haters who experiences visceral disgust every time Miley Cyrus smooch one of her many, many adorable dogs, we would suggest you look away right now. Also, maybe stop following her on Twitter? Why are you even following her in the first place? It’s pretty much 90% dog kisses on there! “Meet Bean ❤❤❤@SpotRescueDogs,” Miley gushed along with a photo of her adorable bug-eyed pup. “Bean is a little girl she is a chihuahua mix of some type she brought so much sunshine!!!” Might we suggest you follow the Pope Benedict’s Twitter, haters? Guaranteed 100% dog kiss free! Although that would be pretty adorable…
As you might recall if you are a fan of Cyrus’ affectionate dog pack, the singer was devastated when her pooch Lila died early last month. “for everyone asking… I have never been so hurt in my life. My heart has never been so broken….. Lila my sweet baby girl has passed away,” Miley tweeted at the time. Hopefully baby Bean will bring some sense of completion to Miley’s ever-expanding pack, who you can see in all their doggy glory kissing and/or being kissed by Miley below. Oh, and her Twitter pretty much every day of the week. Haters, we’re sorry, but there is nothing for you here.
What a strange editing choice someone made for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler‘s new Golden Globes promo. How interesting! How bizarre! We don’t know if someone spliced out their interview questions for time or that same someone is communicating with Tina and Amy telepathically (perhaps it was an Avatar!), but either way the split second of weird uncomfortableness during their convo just makes us more psyched to see Amy and Tina hosting in the flesh January 13. Remember when Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes in 2011? It was nothing but weird uncomfortableness. Uncomfortableness and jokes about The Tourist.
Seriously though, these two are going to dominate that “sloppy, loud” party, even if Tina hates everyone and doesn’t want to meet anybody. Man, we hope we get treated to at least one Tina/Amy musical number! Just for the record, we’re assuming Les Miserables is going to be this year’s Avatar, just with fewer sex scenes. Our only question is…what happens when only one of them can win the Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical? If we have to watch our favorite celebrity friendship crumble on TV, so help us blergh…!
Oh Frank Ocean. After you dropped your critically acclaimed debut album, sang at the VMAs and came out on Tumblr, only to have celebs like Beyonce go out of their way to support you, thus proving that there is some shred of goodness left in the world, it’s no wonder you thought you were on a long-term winning streak. Your utterly amazing 2012 is also probably the reason you were cocky and/or foolish enough to drive 90mph in a 65mph zone while smoking pot. You’re like the new Icarus, Frank. You flew too high on wings of weed! Which would actually explain the legend of Icarus…
According to TMZ, the “Bad Religion” singer was pulled over in Mono County, California on New Year’s Eve for speeding in his BMW. The arrested officer noticed the vehicle smelled like like the set of a Harold & Kumar sequel, and promptly found marijuana in Ocean’s possession. Frank was cited for “marijuana possession, driving on a suspended license, and tinted windows,” in addition to having his license revoked. We say just shake it off, Frank. We were kidding about the Icarus stuff! We have no interest in watching you serve jail time or plummet it out of the sky or any of that stuff this coming year.
Every time a magazine has interviewed Kristen Stewart since the events of July, they interpret every single posture and quote in terms of the scrutiny she was under after her dalliance with Rupert Sanders was revealed. And it’s not like we blame them — it was a pretty big deal. Her cover story for the latest issue of V Magazine, for instance, talks about the “slightly feral air to her presence—she’s jumpy and prone to pacing—but all the anxiety is kind of endearing. She’s young and excitable, and having weathered the highs and lows of 2012, she claims to feel stronger than ever before.” But we would also like to point out something else about this interview other than her perceived vulnerability or “emotional force field.” That’s the fact that her future is wide open, and she’s wide open to it. Read more…
Even though she recently got engaged to long-time boyfriend Brandon Blackstock, there are some folks out there who still believe that Kelly Clarkson is secretly a lesbian. The singer has faced whispers about her sexuality for years, but she has never shied away from it. In fact, she’s says she out and proud to be a rumored lesbian!
“People think, ‘Oh, she’s been single for too long.’ That’s kind of an insult to the gay community,” she said in a recent interview withCosmopolitan Magazine. She apparently had a six year dry spell before hitting it off with Joey McIntyre in February of 2011. “Being single doesn’t mean you’re gay. But I’m never insulted by it, obviously. I mean, I get hit on by the hottest girls ever. Oh my god, if I were a lesbian, I would be so in luck. But it’s not just my thing. I’ve always battled for the boys’ team.”
On top of a constant stream of tours, recording dates, and other chores of the superstar lifestyle, Kelly admits to another reason why she was single for so long. “Usually the guys who hit on me are tools. It’s the ones that don’t hit on you that make you like ‘Why didn’t you ask me out?’ It’s like American Idol auditions: The guys who are the most confident are the horrible ones, and the ones who are good have no confidence at all.” But it sounds like Kelly is just as good as Simon Cowell at putting the jerks in their place.
“Zoe had planned to spend the holidays with Bradley and his family in Europe,” a source told the paper. “They all were going to Paris, but things didn’t work out between them. Zoe spent New Year’s Eve with friends in Miami.”
We’re not exactly heartbroken over this split, sorry to say. It’s just that we’d seen the actors — who hooked up on the set of their movie The Words, broke up in March and then reunited recently — together so seldom, most of the photos we used to make the below gallery of their relationship included other people too. But this recent development makes us worried about one thing: Will it mean that we won’t get to see Saldana’s fashion risk-taking on the red carpet this awards season, as Bradley celebrates the many nods he’s received for Silver Linings Playbook? Darn, kids. Could you just please reunite until March?
Rihanna is no stranger to controversy lately, and this time it’s not about getting back together with Chris Brown! The singer is under fire from fans for putting another picture of marijuana on her Instagram account. “This nug look like a skull or am I just….?” she captioned the latest in a long line of pot-themed posts. Some of her detractors are afraid that these pictures give a bad impression to her young fans. That’s assuming the live-tweets from a strip club didn’t do that already. “Wow wat a good influence you are on young girls….not” wrote one commenter. “I dont understand what she tryin to prove through pics of drug everyday,” said another.
This comes on the heels of her latest uproar, where a picture of a thug grandma and a rifle-toting model led some to wonder if Rihanna was glorifying guns. Is she being irresponsible, or are people just taking her social media output a tad bit too seriously? Let us know what you think in the comments section! And to answer your question, Riri: It totally looks like a skull. We don’t want to have a big soapbox moment about the legalization of marijuana, but we do know that quite a few of Hollywood’s biggest names like to blaze up every now and then. Head to the gallery below to see some celebs who get high. Or (for legal reasons), maybe just like to roll their own cigarettes…
What a weird (wrong) world we live in when the first thing everyone asks about a pregnant celebrity is who will be paying her to lose her baby weight? But when that celebrity is Kim Kardashian, whose very fame relies on people paying her to live her life, we guess it’s not such an odd thing to speculate about. Which is probably why TMZ went straight to diet companies Medifast and Jenny Craig to see if they were considering a deal with Kim. The answer is nope, ’cause neither companies are interested in famous ladies at the moment. Read more…