“My mouth is the Don King of my penis,” John Mayeronce wrote on Twitter. We don’t totally know what it means, but it sounds vulgar and gives our brain the bad touch. And that, dear friends, is the general sensation we get when reading John Mayer quotes! They’re so confounding, we bet they even make Charlie Sheen scratch his head in bewilderment. Whether he’s describing his past sexual conquests, what it means to be a man, or even what it is that makes him so damn popular, Johnny has found ways of pissing people off left and right with his loose lips. Everyone remembers his infamous 2010 Rolling Stone profile, but the guitar hero has had a way with words much longer than that. He has since apologized for “those dumb interviews,”…but not for breaking Taylor Swift’s heart. John turns 35 years old today, and he’s been reasonably well behaved lately. With age comes wisdom, ehh? Or maybe he’s just hired a publicist. But in honor of his big day, let’s look back at a few of our personal favorite John Mayer quotes. Enjoy!
OK, so it looks like Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are very slowly and casually easing themselves and the world back into the idea of their reunion (if they ever really split in the first place). The day after they were spotted out together with friends at Ye Rustic Inn in Los Feliz (a favorite hangout of our own Kate Spencer, who is devastated that she missed this!), and two days after they reportedly hung out at Chateau Marmont, the Twilight stars were spotted together again … in broad daylight!
TMZ has the photos of Rob, in a baseball cap and well-worn Germs henley, and Kristen in her signature short cutoffs, baseball cap and white tank, leaving a restaurant with friends in the afternoon. They aren’t seen holding hands or anything (which, who holds hands as you’re leaving a restaurant with friends? That just sounds logistically difficult), but the fact that they’re both wearing the kind of outfits we’re used to seeing them wear on a cazh day out together is very comforting, don’t you think? Read more…
When we first saw Scarlett Johansson‘s “Goth Bonnie Raitt” makeover inW Magazine, it was like we were struck with a sweet, sexy guitar riff. Everyone knows that only the best women have grey streaks in their hair! Raitt, Rogue from the X-Men, uh, Cruella de Vil: all women we want to look like, all women we want to be. ScarJo joined Mia Wasikowska, Rooney Mara and Keira Knightley in getting a sick makeover for the mag, but only one of them looks like a hotter Dr. Blight from Captain Planet. Needless to say, we are into it. If only anyone had actually looked like that in the nineties!
As it turns out, ScarJo is mixing it up in more areas than her scalp. According to People Magazine, the Hitchcock actress has just broken up with her boyfriend of a little under year Nate Naylor. “She broke up with him last week,” a source claims. “He’s pretty upset but the writing was on the wall. A lot of people were surprised it lasted this long.” Somewhere Ryan Reynolds holds his new issues of People and W Magazine, his lower lip trembling with what might have been.
We’ve always had a difficult time pinpointing exactly what it is we love about Taylor Swift. Is it her voice? Her willingness to pour her heart out in her songs? Her ability to do perfect cat-eye makeup? Leave it to Kennedy matriarch Ethel Kennedy to sum it up in a way none of us could: “She’s just sensational inside and out,” Kennedy said of grandson Conor‘s girlfriend, speaking to CapeCast at the Kennedy Golf Tournament. “She’s very kind, and you know what she really is? She’s game. She had never sailed before; she sailed. … She played anything that everyone else was doing, and she was good at it and no fuss. And I’m happy that we’ll be neighbors.” (Man, when I first met my husband’s grandmother, all she could do was scold me for getting a tattoo!)
This great quote also reminded us of something we’d forgotten while all the focus was on Taylor and Conor: The singer actually met his grandma and aunt Rory Kennedy first. Filmmaker Rory and her mother spoke to Celebs.com about their connection to Taylor back in January, when they were photographed together at the Sundance premiere of Rory’s doc Ethel. “[Taylor] really took the initiative to reach out to meet my mother because she’d read about her and was a fan and admired her. … There’s a mutual admiration society between my mother and Taylor Swift.” Read more…
It turns out that perfect skin, razor-sharp cheekbones and an amazing wardrobe does not guarantee that you will find a boyfriend. But…but…but that’s what all the magazines have been saying! What are we going to spend our money on now? We also would have though a burgeoning film career would help us suss out a significant other, but, as Ashley Greene points out, being a busy actress does not a healthy relationship make. “I’m always here and there – everyone in my industry is,” the Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 actress admits toMarie Claire. “[A]nd that’s why a lot of relationships are fleeting.”
Defying our understanding of reality, Ashley is only the second famous lady to complain about her love life today; Rihanna shared a similar plight in her Vogue interview just this morning. Muses Greene, “I’ve gotten very good at detaching whenever I have to go away for three months, which I realize is hard on friends and kind of selfish. You go on a couple of dates, and then someone ships off to do a movie. It’s not like you’re going to fly out and see them, because it’s not serious enough for that.” Okay, but isn’t the entire point of being rich and famous that you can do insane things like fly all over the world and buy a house next to your boyfriend’s grandma? Taylor Swift, you know what we’re talking about!
Robsten returns, ya’ll! At least if the busybodies at Chateau Marmont are to be believed. According to several sources, Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted canoodling at the Chateau this Saturday while attending a friend’s birthday party. On a related note, this is the first time we have ever used the word “canoodling” and felt it accurately described what was going on. According to Us Magazine, RPatz and Stew “snuck into the garden from a private side entrance” to join the party and were “whispering very close and intimately.” This seems like a good sign to us. Never have we intimately whispered with an ex we weren’t at least thinking about dating again. In your face, Mystery Blonde!
Our question is, should Kristen and Rob appear together publicly as a couple before they have to made the rounds promoting Breaking Dawn Part 2? If they are truly back on, it might be wise to be caught eating frozen yogurt or playing with that dog of theirs before they have to endure a battery of press junkets leading up to November 16. That way we can all gnash our teeth, tear out our hair and share our FEELINGS and EMOTIONS with the Internet without them having to deal with it directly. On the other hand…there’s no way they won’t be asked about their love lives in the next couple weeks. Maybe they’d rather wait until the absolute last second to talk about their relationship, in order to give it the maximum allowable time to heal? What do you think the best re-coupling stratagem would be? Should Rob and Kristen just wait and make out on the red carpet at the premiere? Part of us wants to say yes?
Editor’s Note: Okay, so it looks like we know what the answer to this one is. ET Online now has footage of the pair hanging out at Ye Rustic Inn in L.A. this weekend, where they allegedly ”cozied up to each other.” Looks like we’re doing this for real, people! Man your squee stations!
Remember The Fox And The Hound? Well we’ve got a friend-breakup that’s a whole lot sadder (and grosser). According to TMZ, Hulk Hogan is suing his best friend Bubba The Love Sponge for secretly taping him having sex with Bubba’s wife, Heather Clem (A.K.A. Mrs. The Love Sponge). We’re not sure why the whole gang didn’t just truck over to Jerry Springer, but apparently the Hulk is filing a breach of privacy lawsuit in Florida. Awww, you guys! Not since Forrest Gump have we been so devastated by a friendship with someone called “Bubba.” But on the upside, it did allow us to write our favorite headline over all time.
At the end of the sextape, after Hulk did his thing and left, a man’s voice (presumed to be Bubba’s) is clearly heard saying “If we ever did want to retire, all we’d have to do is use this footage.” He quickly backpedals and says he was joking, but the damage has been done for Hogan, who says that he was “sick to his stomach” upon hearing that. We have to say that we’re not sure how to feel about the whole thing. On one hand, if you have sex with your best friend’s wife (or ex-wife, or girlfriend, etc), regardless of permission, you sort of deserve what’s coming to ya. But still, betraying a friend is never nice either, and we feel for Hogan. Come on, Bubba! Make the Hulk a friendship collage or something. Show him how much he means to you!
Ten years ago, if you wanted to spot a famous actor or musician in their natural habitat, your best bet was to take a class at Manhattan’s Jivamukti yoga studio. These days, the paparazzi are regularly stationed outside all the hot spin class studios in New York and L.A., ready to catch everyone from Katie Holmes to Maria Shriver sweaty and glowing after a tough ride. And now we can add Lady Gaga to the list of famous folks who are toning their legs while imagining themselves in a climate-controlled Tour de France. Impressively, Gaga took two classes in a row at the SoulCycle in Union Square, one witness told the New York Daily News. She looked slim, despite her recent claims that she’d gained 25 lbs. and was wearing hoop earrings and full makeup. She barely broke a sweat after the first class, and in the second, she was “hooting and whipping her towel around” when the instructor played “Born This Way.” Last week, Gaga tweeted that she’ll be working with SoulCycle to create a “Ride for Compassion” to promote her latest Born This Way Foundation effort, the Body Revolution.
We think Gaga could raise a lot more money for this Revolution of hers if she enlisted the help of these amazing spinners:
Jimmy Fallon and LMFAO collaborated on the very motivating spin song below in July — maybe they’d consider reuniting for a live performance?
During Lindsay Lohan’s interview with Matt Lauer back in March, the troubled actress convinced us that all she really wants in life is to get back to work. She’s done just that — landing starring roles Liz & Dick and The Canyons — but so far, we’ve still heard more about her illnesses, driving mishaps, nightlife battles and family drama than about how she’s doing as an actress. Now that Lindsay’s agreed to sit down with Barbara Walters for an interview that will air sometime before Liz & Dick premieres on Lifetime (November 25). Not that we’d presume to give tips to the legendary Walters or anything, but we have a few questions we hope she’s planning to ask. Add yours to the list, too!
1. Have you ever thought about laying off the nightclubs for a while? Maybe switching to intimate dinner parties? Daytime picnics in the park? Read more…
“It’s not a conversation that we’re scared about,” Sparks told the magazine. “Before, we both went through tragedies this year. He broke his neck and then Whitney passed. So before it might have been a little too crazy.” All of the hardships not only brought them closer together, but made them realize what really matters in life. ”You really see the people you love and you go ‘I don’t want to lose you,’ ” she continued. “So it’s a conversation we have, but we’re not in a rush.” Although she admitted that she “hopes” he does eventually get down on one knee. And so do we! Although they’ve barely been together for over a year, the sweetness between these two is undeniable. Check out some of their cutest moments in the gallery below!