by (@hallekiefer)

Soulja Boy, Tell ‘Em You’re Sorry About Accidentally Tumbling That Dick Pic

Soulja Boy Posted Penis Photo On Tumblr

Breaking news! There’s been a huge development! What? No, not about the election. There’s an election today? Who has time to worry about the course of American history when Soulja Boy is out there, posting extremely NSFW naked photos to his Tumblr? Perez Hilton snagged the graphic pic this morning before the rapper deleted it and honestly…you do not see a nude pic from that angle every day. That’s all we’ll say about it. We’re not sure exactly how the “Crank That” singer blogged the photo without realizing where he was sending it, but we guess that’s the danger of keeping nude pics on your phone. Click the wrong photo and your dad is getting a lot more than a snapshot of your new gas grill in his Inbox. Just in time to make Thanksgiving super awkward for everyone, Soulja Boy!

That being said, Soulja Boy is a famous person under the age of 40. This was bound to happen at some point. Just like fellow accidental flasher actress Alison Pill, Soulja Boy quickly apologized for putting his wiener in your face, tumbling “I apologize to ever seen that, accident.” Because what else can you really say at that point? Besides “You’re welcome, everyone”? Now get back to the election! It should be 98% politics, 2% celebrities’ penis pics today!

Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Will Lindsay Lohan’s Fender Bender Land Her Back In Jail?

Lindsay Lohan will be charged for lying to cops about her June fender bender

Sometimes, celebrities, you should really rethink your gut reactions to sticky situations; for some reason, they often turn out to be wrong. Say, for instance, when you’re involved in a fender bender and think that the best way to avoid trouble is to pretend it was your assistant who was driving the car, even though PEOPLE SAW YOU DRIVING. Even though you are unmistakably Lindsay Lohan and your male assistant Gavin does NOT LOOK LIKE YOU. According to TMZ, the Santa Monica City Attorney is expected to file misdemeanor charges against Lindsay Lohan this week for lying to police about who was driving when her Porsche rammed into a truck in June.

And though it’s just a misdemeanor, the real trouble for LiLo is that she’s still on probation for that whole jewelry theft deal, and this charge could count as a probation violation. Which, yeah, would mean back to jail for the Liz & Dick star. Bad judgment + worse luck = SMH.

Err, at least that pesky hit-and-run charge was dropped last month!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Related: Lindsay Lohan’s Publicist Quits; We Suspect Michael Lohan Has Been Her Real Problem All Along
Lindsay Lohan’s Sitdown With Barbara Walters: 5 Questions We Want Babs To Ask

by (@hallekiefer)

We Are So Not Into This Kristen Stewart/Ben Affleck Grifter Rom-Com, And We’ll Tell You Why

Kristen Stewart, Ben Affleck To Star In Rom-Com

Hmmm. Ehhhh. Errrr. Something in the milk ain’t clean with this casting rumor. Variety reports that Kristen Stewart is allegedly in talks to co-star with Ben Affleck in Focus, a new romantic comedy from Crazy, Stupid, Love. directors John Requa and Glenn Ficarra, and it’s making one of our eyebrows slowly raise with derision. Originally starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, Focus follows the story of “a veteran grifter who partners with a girl who’s new to the life.” Much like when you find a bug under a rock or see a clown standing outside your window in the middle of the night and also you live on the third floor, this casting news is just not sitting well with us. Why? Well, let’s see:

Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

Now In News We Didn’t See Coming: Sam Worthington Pepper Sprayed, Arrested For Alleged Fight

Sam Worthington Arrested For Fighting

E tu, Sam Worthington? Best known for the luxurious mullet he sported in Wrath of the Titans and the luxurious robot innards he sported in Terminator Salvation (Spoiler alert! It came out in 2009!), Sam Worthington seemed like any other mild-manned Jeremy Renner clone working in Hollywood. Until today. More specifically, until we heard about him being pepper sprayed and arrested outside an Atlanta restaurant this past Saturday. Uh…huh. In a story as confusing as that time Matthew Fox allegedly punched a female bus driver, Avatar star Worthington was allegedly making his way into Atlanta eatery Vortex when he was stopped by restaurant staff for not having an I.D. An allegedly intoxicated Worthington became “disorderly” with the doorman, which of course ended with him handcuffed and pepper-sprayed. Not by the police, of course, but by security. Uh…huh.

Apparently the Man on a Ledge star is in Georgia shooting the action film Ten along side Arnold Schwarzenegger, which at least explains the goatee in his mugshot. Everything else, though…we just don’t know. According to TMZ, Worthington has already had the disorderly conduct charges against him dismissed because “the complaining witness was a no-show in court.” This whole story makes us incredibly uneasy. Not Mel-Gibson-calls-a-cop-“sugar t—“ uneasy, but in the same ballpark.

[Photo: Splash News Online/Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard Are Expecting A Baby (Move Over, Sloths!)

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are expecting their first child

Considering how close we came to spontaneously combusting with contagious glee after seeing Kristen Bell react to the sloth surprise Dax Shepard gave her last year, we’re not sure we will survive this impending cuteness: the couple’s rep confirmed to People today that they are expecting their first child in late spring.

“They’re so excited — they’re both ecstatic. They can’t wait to become parents,” a friend reportedly told the magazine. The House of Lies and Parenthood stars have been dating since 2007 and engaged since 2009. They’ve taken the Brangelina pledge on marriage — no wedding until their same-sex friends are also legally able to tie the knot.

In case you’re having trouble picturing what Veronica Mars might have looked like when she found out she was pregnant, we imagine it went something like this:
Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Would LeAnn Rimes Or Shannen Doherty Make You Watch America’s Got Talent?

Shannen Doherty Leann Rimes and Carly Simon are reportedly being considered as judges for America's Got Talent

It seems like America’s Got Talent is taking a tip from the new American Idol/X Factor/The Voice school of casting: Pick lady judges with advanced degrees in making headlines, regardless of their proven record of discovering talent or anything topical like that. TMZ reports that to fill the spot vacated by Sharon Osbourne — who left because she thinks NBC dropped son Jack from a show after he revealed his MS diagnosis — AGT is considering Shannen Doherty, LeAnn Rimes and Carly Simon. We certainly would enjoy seeing Shannen or LeAnn bring their, er, opinionated ways to verdicts on juggling acts, dance troupes and adorable pint-size singers. They don’t even need those giant X lights anymore; they’d just need a withering glare or the absence thereof. Carly Simon we’re not so sure of. As far as our knowledge of her goes, her headlines have all had to do with her romantic exploits of the 1970s, but maybe some boomers out there can fill us in on some other things she did to stir up controversy back in the day?

Incidentally, NBC’s spokesperson told TMZ they have no actual list of potential judges, so this could be wild speculation. Still, we want to know if a good bitchface is enough to draw you to the show?

by (@hallekiefer)

Kim Kardashian Denies Second Ray J Sex Tape, A.K.A. The Most Redundant Sex Tape In The World

Kim Kardashian Denies Second Ray J Sex Tape

Don’t fire up your Blu-Ray player just yet, Kanye! Looks like you’ll have to return once again to the original Kim Kardashian/Ray J sex tape in order to get your jollies. You perv. Despite the fact that the ‘bloids claim there is a second erotic video featuring the former couple, both Kim and the porn company who owns her first tape deny its existence. “There is no truth to this and there’s no tape. Unfortunately the outlet that first wrote about this didn’t bother to check their sources or story,” the Kardashian rep sighed. “We’ve already spoken to the third party that brought the first tape to us and, a second tape, or additional footage from the first tape isn’t being shopped around or even exists,” Vivid Entertainment CEO Steve Hirsch explained yesterday. Oh, also…we’ve already seen Kim and Ray J having sex. How much more does the world need? How many hours of homemade porn must Kim and Ray J produce before the nation is finally satisfied?

Okay, so HuffPo reports that the alleged footage is much “raunchier” than the first film, but our point remains! The whole internet is full of porn, people. Branch out! Live a little. Now a Kim and Kanye sex tape on the other hand…that would be a different story. Plus you know Yeezy would make it all arty and insane. Bizarre bird women! Ballerinas! A tasteful shout-out to Michael Jackson!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Steven Tyler Drops An F-Bomb, Forgets Where He Is, Remains Our One True Constant On The Today Show

Even in the midst of chaos, Steven Tyler is our rock. A scarf-covered rock that’s constantly swearing on live TV and stripping down to it’s underwear, but still. What a fun rock to have around! The Aerosmith singer was in classic form while visiting the Today show this morning, both forgetting what show he was on and detonating the f-bomb during Al Roker‘s weather report. “Good Morning America!” Tyler enthused, before telling his screaming fans, “Thanks for coming out, you crazy f—s!” As Roker screamed in exasperation. “That’s why they haven’t done morning television! They don’t even know what show they’re on!” Oh Al Roker. May your good-natured frustration be our second constant in this time of tumult.

The gents were more subdued but just as mumbling and frisky while stopping by Big Morning Buzz Live this morning. “I used to work at a fruit stand. How do you like those apples!” he announced. Oh Steven. Dear god, don’t ever change. On an unrelated note, is Joe Perry‘s mustache melting? We’re going to assume yes because that just feels right.

Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Britney Spears Probably Would Have Preferred It If Sam Lutfi’s Case Had Been Thrown Out A Bit Earlier

Sam Lutfi's case against Britney Spears' family thrown out by judge.

We’re sure Britney Spears‘ parents, Jamie and Lynne Spears, are breathing a big sigh of relief after Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Suzanne Bruguera threw out Sam Lutfi’s lawsuit against them yesterday. But if we were Britney, we’d also be hopping mad at the judge for waiting until now to decide there was insufficient evidence. You know AFTER Lutfi had thrown out all these allegations about his former client/girlfriend and her parents. Because as we all know, even if an allegation turns out to be false or unfounded, once it’s out there, it sticks. So now we will forever suspect that maybe Britney shaved her head because she was scared of a drug test, and possibly his drug-sniffing dogs found crystal meth in her house, and that entire downward spiral of 2007 was still the result of her breakup with Justin Timberlake (and that one was from Lynne’s lawyer!).

Those are just the sorts of things you want people talking about when you’ve finally gotten back on your feet, you’re engaged to a pretty normal guy and you’re doing a bang-up job convincing people of your smarts and sanity on live national television every week and your kids are starting to reach an age where they can understand that mommy’s in the news. Gee, thanks a lot, Judge.

OK, we might just be projecting there. Sorry.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Cee Lo’s Sexual Battery Accuser Says He Slipped Her Ecstasy – And She Has Him On Tape!

Cee-Lo is accused of drugging a woman and sexually assaulting her, charges he denies.

While Cee Lo Green is still being investigated for sexual battery by the LAPD, we thought we’d recap some of the he-said-she-said we’ve learned from TMZ over the past few days. After all, this is a guy gracing our homes on The Voice twice a week, and we’d like to know what’s going on, whether he’s guilty or innocent.

She said: Cee Lo took her to a Los Angeles sushi restaurant in July and they had drinks together. She blacked out and woke up in a bed with the “F— You” singer in the room. She went to the police and filed a report. Then then called Cee Lo and recorded the conversation in which he apologized to her and made references to MDNA (a.k.a. ecstasy), according to TMZ’s source. But he didn’t actually say he’d given it to her. Read more…