Here’s a question: if you dated a singer and they later wrote a wistful, romantic song about you, would you be angry? Okay, now what if the song was about what a total douche bag you were? Also, you’re famous too? Makes a huge difference, right? Good thing the Jonas Brothers‘ “Wedding Bells” was an example of the former, or else we doubt Miley Cyrus would be quite so gracious about the fact it concerns her former relationship with Nick Jonas. “I don’t know anyone else who is getting married,” the singer pointed out to Ryan Seacrest on his radio show today, saying it’s “pretty blatant” the tune is about her impending marriage to Liam Hemsworth. Oh man, this is like Taylor Swift and John Mayer all over again. Except fortunately, this time no one has to be John Mayer!
“So, you can’t ever hate on someone for writing about something you’ve been through,” mused an extremely kind Cyrus. “I think that you kind of get a fair warning when you date an artist and someone that’s a writer—when you’re going through things that you’re going to end up hearing about it on the radio.” Personally, we find the idea of artists using their famous relationships for material fascinating. Like, Nick (and Taylor) must have known their exes would at least suspect they were crooning about them. What did they think the reception would be? Did they hope Miley and John would immediately break up with their significant others and come beg for forgiveness? Yikes, now we just bummed ourselves out. We’ll just go ahead and listen to these old Pink songs to cheer ourselves up…oh god, every single one of these are all about Corey Hart!
We were pretty bummed last week to learn that former Happy Days star Erin Moran was not exactly having happy days. The 52-year old is currently homeless in Indiana, bouncing between cheap hotels with her husband Steve Fleischmann. We cursed the fates for being so cruel to Erin, and wished that somebody would do something to help her. And then, like a hero on a horseback, entered…The Fonz.
Erin’s one-time co-star Henry Winkler is reportedly working to secure the struggling actress actress a part on the new series of Arrested Development. The series is produced (and narrated) by her ex-TV brother Ron Howard, so it can’t be that hard, right? “Henry is absolutely shattered over what’s become of Erin,” a friend told the National Enquirer. “He desperately wants to help get back back on her feet.” Winkler plays the Bluth family lawyer Barry Zuckerkorn on the cult TV show. And yes, he’s very good.
Moran’s career has essentially bottomed out since her last major role in the Happy Days spinoff Joanie Loves Chachi back in 1983. She had a few TV guest spots, and an appearance on VH1′s own Celebrity Fit Club in 2008. Her house went into foreclosure in 2010, and over the summer she was forced out of her mother’s trailer. We know it could just be a rumor, but we like to think that The Fonz looks after his own. And we know that’s a little cornball.
In case you were wondering how Donald Trump felt about the Robsten reunion, the ever-outgoing mogul took to Twitter to make his feelings known. Trump issued a strong warning to Robert Pattinson against getting back together with former girlfriend and Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart after she was caught cheating on him with her Snow White And The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders back in July. Although he was probably just trying to be helpful, the 66-year-old dispensed the advice in his own uniquely abrasive way. Would you expect any less from The Trump?
“Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart,” he tweeted last night, after reports circulated that Rob and Kristen were seen back together in LA. “She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again — just watch. He can do much better!” So we guess he’s Team Edward? Predictably, Trump faced a pretty epic twitter backlash from Robsten loving Twi-Hards, but still he remained defiant. Having zillions of dollars can do that to you, we guess. “Lots of response to my Pattinson/Kristen Stewart reunion,” he wrote in a follow up tweet. “She will cheat again–100 certain–am I ever wrong?” To answer that question, we’d like to present you with this picture of Trump’s hair. If that’s not wrong, we don’t know what is.
Earlier this week, we reported that Scarlett Johansson split with boyfriend Nate Naylor A.K.A., that guy who isn’t Ryan Reynolds. But according to Nate’s father, the pair are still very together and very much in love. Or no one’s broken the bad news to him yet. Either/or. “Everything is fine right now,” Gary Naylor told our friends over at Celebuzz. In fact, he wasn’t even aware that rumors were flying that ScarJo had broken up with his son. Uh-oh, hopefully we didn’t just spill the beans. “She’s adorable and a very nice person… a sweetheart,” he gushes. Gary claims that the happy couple recently visited their family home in Arizona.
This isn’t the first time time Scarlett had reportedly ditched her ad-exec boyfriend. In July sources reported that she was having a fling with her body guard, and in June we were dupted into thinking that she and fellow movie star Bradley Cooper were more than friends. “Three or four months ago, reports said she was dating someone else and we couldn’t believe it,” Gary continued.”Everything is fine right now from when I talked to Nathan. And that was recent.” While he’s not totally certain that the couple will be together forever, Mr. Naylor believes that things between Scarlett and his son are coming together nicely. “That’s up to Nate. It’s his life, he is a grown man, but they’re having a great time.”
The last time we paid a visit to Chris Brown’s neck, we were up in arms about how his latest tattoo seemed to depict the battered face of his ex-girlfriend Rihanna. So now that Brown is showing off his latest neck ink showing the face of lion, you’d think it would be a lot less controversial. And you’d be right…unless you assume that all these tats are part of a larger narrative. Like a full body comic strip! Does Brown want Riri to get eaten by a lion? Is that what you’re saying, Chris!? OK, we’re not even going to speculate on the meaning of the animal symbol. Who knows, maybe Breezy is just a huge Simba fan. The singer posted pics to his twitter showing off his latest ink. Situated in the center of his neck, the artwork covers his throat and jugular artery. Damn, he must have really trusted that tattoo artist!
The existence of Chris’s new tattoo is the most firm news we have about the dude these days. Lately rumors have been swirling about his rekindled flame with Rihanna following his breakup with girlfriend Karrueche Tran. There have been rumbles that the two will make their romance public after the release of Rihanna’s new album Unapologetic on November 19th. Even more bizarre, MediaTakeOut is alleging that Riri is already pregnant with Chris’s baby! They offer firm and compelling evidence like…she walks like a pregnant woman. Umm, ok. That makes our “Chris Brown Full Body Comic Book” theory sound less crazy.
We’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is watching Honey Boo Boo and Mama read Christopher Walken film dialogue, including his infamous call for cowbell. After Christopher Walken ponderously read aloud lines about sketti and vajiggle jaggle from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on Screen Junkies last week, the show invited Alana Thompson and June Shannon to read some notable Walken lines from movies ranging from Balls of Fury to True Romance. The most perfect moment would either have to be the cowbell line (duh) or when they sync Alana’s and June’s voice with Walken’s Pulp Fiction character. Oh, or when June is consumed with the desire to know where someone could hide a watch for two years. You know where, June. You know exactly where.
We know satisfying internet moments happen with enough frequency that it’s kind of cheezmo to declare the internet won or over every time something great happens. But really, guys, this pop culture call and response feels amazing. “I’ve got a prescription and the only thing to do is get some more cowbell”? “I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is this cowbell”? Also, both Alana and Christopher Walken seem equally as likely to scream “You’re a crybaby!” at a startled webseries host. Though only one of them would do it in real life, of course.
Oh, you’re good, Megan Fox. You were cagey about your wedding, cagey about your pregnancy, and now finally you’re cagey about your newborn infant with Brian Austin Green. So cagey, in fact, that we are only just now finding out that you squeezed out son Noah Shannon back on September 27. “We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home,” the actress posted to Facebook today. “He is healthy, happy, and perfect.” How could we have had no idea there was a Fox-Green in the world until now? Why didn’t our Megan Fox Secret Pregnancy Phone ring? Why did we pay to have that installed if it’s not actually going to let us know when she had a baby? Someone get Time Warner on the phone immediately.
Not that we needed round-the-clock womb news, but you know how we do. Between Adele, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson and you, we are getting way less pregnancy and baby arrival news then we’re used to. Speaking of which…oh man, when is Adele’s baby due? “We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love,” Megan continued. “Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.” Well, we guess we can’t be enraged when you’re writing sonnets about your baby boy. We’re just saying…when we have a kid, we’re going to put it in sky writing over the city.
Flavor Flav was arrested in Las Vegas early this morning and changed with assault with a deadly weapon. Geez, and we thought confusing Miley Cyrus with Gwen Stefani was bad. According to reports on TMZ, the 53-year old former rapper and reality star was involved in vicious argument with a teenager in his Nevada home. The teenager’s fiancee was also present, and as tempers flared she called the police around 3 AM. Details are sparse at the moment, but Flav apparently beat one of the two, and threatened the other with a knife. He was arrested on the scene for battery and felony assault with a deadly weapon, and is currently being held on $23,000 bail. It’s also unknown what Flavor Flav’s relationship is to the teenagers, if any.
This is not Flavor Flav’s first brush with assault. In 1991 he was charged with assaulting his girlfriend Karen Ross, and served 30 days in jail as a result. Two years later he was charged with attempted murder for firing shots at his neighbor. Most of his violent offenses seemed to wind down in the late nineties after he went to rehab for crack cocaine, but that didn’t stop his run-ins with the law. He’s received a number of parking and driving offenses, resulting in his arrest in May of last year. We’ll bring you more updates on this bust as soon as we hear!
We’re starting to get the impression that Hulk Hogan’s sex tape partner Heather Clem had a pretty open marriage with her husband, DJ Bubba The Love Sponge. Like, really open. Open enough to drive a couple semi-trucks through. If you thought it was pretty weird to let your best friend sleep with your wife, brace yourself because that was just the the tip of the sexual iceberg. According to RadarOnline, The Hulk was just one of many famous faces who made a sex tape with Mrs. The Love Sponge.
“Bubba regularly brought his wife’s sex tapes into work at the radio station and would show them to the staff,” says an insider at Bubba’s office. “When the Hulk tape was leaked none of his staff were surprised because they’d all seen it already! And that wasn’t the only tape they saw with Heather having sex with a celebrity.” The source went on to claim that she got into bed while the camera’s rolled with at least two other big names. “It was just sort of a regular thing when it came to Heather and Bubba. They were known for taping Heather’s sexscapades and it just so happened to involve famous people sometimes.”
Oh, we have so many feels! Just days after Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were peeped together in L.A. in what we’d all like to imagine was a snuggle-filled reunion, TMZ now reports that Kristen is moving in…to her own place in Los Feliz. Twist! Stewart allegedly purchased the home for $2.2 million, which we can only assume means she won’t be moving back in with Rob. Even more interesting, however, is the location of KStew’s new pad: a mere 1.5. miles from RPatz’s place. So we have to ask…whaaaa?
The way TMZ described the house (4 bedrooms, 5 baths, a pool, etc), it certainly didn’t sound like an apartment Kristen could just cool her heels in until she and Rob mended their relationship. Then we saw photos of the alleged home over at Us Weekly and knew it was a legit, for real, adult pad. On one hand, maybe this is the best way for them to get back together: by each having their own space. Alternately, this is the ultimate death knell for their relationship. Just kidding! We hope! It’s not as clear cut as if Rob and Kristen just started shacking up again, but we’ll take it. Also…let’s be honest. That new pool of hers looks sick.