by Ambika Muttoo (@missmuttoo)

Jersey Shore Is Back! Deena Arrested, JWoww Injured During Bar Brawl

Deena Cortese arrested for disorderly conduct, JWoww injured in bar brawl

They’re ba-ack! We’re not sure if this is a good thing, but for better or worse, the cast of Jersey Shore are up to shenanigans again, during what seemed to be quite a busy weekend. First up, is Deena Cortese. The photograph you see on the right is of her being escorted out of the Seaside Heights Police Department by her parents after being detained by the cops for disorderly conduct. TMZ also has a video of her being arrested after filming her, possibly drunkenly, walking and dancing in the middle of the street. The police didn’t find her behavior amusing at all, and cuffed her, as cast mates Ronnie and Sammi watched.

Then we saw these photographs of Jenni “JWoww” Farley hobbling around on crutches with her ankle all bandaged up. We would have total sympathy for her if it wasn’t for the fact that her injury was sustained during a bar brawl over the weekend, again. Ronnie, RogerPauly D and The Situation got into a fight with two dudes, who are planning on suing them now. They claim that Ronnie and Roger attacked them, but now sources say that the two men were provoking the Jersey Shore dudes all night. The sources also say that one of the two guys said he would “knock them out” and tried to punch Pauly. That’s when everything got heavy and the Shore guys are claiming self defence. JWoww was there too and ended up as collateral damage! We feel bad, but at the same time … getting into a fight at a bar? Again?

[Photos: Splash News Online]

by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

RPatz Gently Humiliates Himself Trying To Give Adele Career Advice

Robert Pattinson Embarrasses Himself Giving Adele Career Advice

Yes, Robert Pattinson and Adele hang out together and discuss their craft, just like you imagined in your more elaborate albeit kind of boring fantasies. Did your fantasies also include RPatz quietly and firmly putting his food in his mouth while trying to tell Adele how to live? “I had this argument with Adele, which is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said,” the Cosmopolis star told Canadian talk show host George Stoumboulopoulos. “[I told her] you know, you can really just reach for it!’ And she was like, ‘You do realize I’m, like, the biggest selling female artist ever.’ And for some reason, I decided to get into an argument with her about it.” Why would anyone voluntarily get into a fight with A-Town? The woman can set fire to the rain. Luckily Pattinson had a host of other adorable quotes from his interview that if Adele heard, we’re sure would inspire her to immediately forgive him:

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by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

Death Threats Take America’s Got Talent Soldier Scandal To New Levels Of Awfulness

America's Got Talent Timothy Poe Involved In Scandal

Note to the easily humiliated: you will cringe during this post. As you might have read earlier this week, some particularly fishy information emerged about America’s Got Talent contestant Timothy Poe. For example, the singer apparently did not receive the Purple Heart for grenade injuries sustained while serving in Afghanistan as he had claimed. In fact, the Texas crooner might not have actually sustained significant brain injuries at all. The singer also inexplicably submitted a photo of another soldier for the show to air during his segment, which begs the question: why would anyone in their right mind do that? Did he not know other people can see with their eyes? Sgt. Norman Bone eventually came forward and identified himself as the man in the image, an image which had been publicly available on the U.S. Department of Defense website. We’re already so embarrassed for everyone involved, we could barely type that sentence.

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by Sabrina Rojas Weiss (@shalapitcher)

Kris Humphries’ Lawyer Wants Myla Sinanaj To Stop Labeling Their Relationship

Myla Sinanaj and Kris Humphries

It sounds like Kris Humphries and Myla Sinanaj never had that conversation. You know, the one where they decide to date each other exclusively and slam each other’s ex-fathers-in-law on Twitter. Or maybe they did, and Kris forgot to inform his lawyer? The gossips say the b-baller and the 25-year-old hotel employee have been dating since January, but his reps say he hasn’t dated anyone since his breakup with Kim Kardashian. Anyway, Sinanaj, who was snapped on the beach with Humphries just last Saturday and has been in the tabs nonstop ever since, got a nasty wake-up call yesterday. According to RadarOnline, the New Jersey Nets player’s lawyer, Lee Hutton, left Myla a voicemail yesterday asking her to stop calling herself his girlfriend.

“There are text messages between Kris and Myla which clearly prove that she is lying about being his girlfriend,” a source told the site. “Kris’ lawyer has also drafted a cease and desist letter that he will be sending to Myla which will also order her to stop making these claims. The timing of Myla making these claims is wreaking havoc on his upcoming divorce proceedings, because he will most certainly be asked about dating her during his upcoming deposition.”

We wonder what kind of havoc could be caused in Kris’ divorce, really. Does the law make a distinction between hookups and girlfriends?

Myla Sinanaj

[Photos: Splash News Online]

by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

Miley Cyrus Oh-So-Subtly Flashes Her Ring At LAX

Miley Cyrus shows off her engagement ring

Miley Cyrus busted out her 3.5 carat rock at LAX today as she headed to Louisiana to visit fiance Liam Hemsworth on the set of his upcoming film Empire State, and the astronauts on the International Space Station gasped with envy. Honestly, we would not have been surprised if her ring was actually as big as the picture on the right. But when what would Miley do with it? Wear it as a tiara? Why hasn’t a single celebrity thought of that yet?

But enough about our jewelry-related fantasies! The reality is impressive enough. According to People, Miley Cyrus’ engagement called for a “cushion-cut diamond ring, handcrafted in 18-karat gold with intricately carved diamond floral motifs in an art nouveau pattern.” On, and then there’s that massive stone. “It was hand-cut around 1880 or 1890 and it’s unique and in its original form,” designer Neil Lane said of the ring. “At that time no two diamonds were alike, as they were all hand-cut, so it’s fascinating to look at because it hasn’t been re-cut to look contemporary over the years. I find that really romantic.” Add Lane, “It’s also so big, Miley’s finger might break clean off.” Okay, so he didn’t say that. He didn’t need to! Your eyes tell you everything you need to know!

[Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News Online]

by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

Turn Up The Zings! Chris Rock Burns Chris Brown While On The Today Show

Chris Rock Riffs On Chris Brown Domestic Abuse Charges

First we get a Chris Brown/Cher mini slider, now Chris Rock is starting some delicious New York strip steak drama? Good thing we’re omnivores because there is beef as far as the eye can see! This morning when Today host Matt Lauer said in passing, “We’re hoping the same kind of weather hits us tomorrow when we’ve got Chris Brown out on the plaza,” guest Rock couldn’t help but joke, “Did you say you hope the same weather hits you? I hope some weather doesn’t smack us upside the head.” Chris Rock can’t help it! He’s a comedian. He knows you can’t let perfectly good beef go to waste. Our deepest apologies to Elmo though; no tiny puppets needed to hear that.

Now that we think about it, Rock’s comments actually pale in comparison to how hard Cher zinged Chris earlier this week following rumors that Brown took to Twitter and declared that the Just Like Jesse James singer “needs a beating” for criticizing President Obama. The gossip later turned out to be false, but when a fan tweeted, “Cher, how do you feel about Chris Brown saying he was gonna hit you.” Cher replied, “I don’t know. Is that something he’s particularly good at?” Someone get the grill going and break out the hamburger buns! Looks like we’re going to have beef all summer long!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by Sabrina Rojas Weiss (@shalapitcher)

Meet Rob Evans, Tyra Banks’ New Boy-Toy, Er, Top Model Judge

Tyra Banks and new America's Next Top Model judge Rob Evans

Sure, we’ll miss Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker when America’s Next Top Model returns for Cycle 19 (!), but after spending the afternoon putting together this little gallery of the show’s new British judge, model Rob Evans. We have no idea about the former boxer’s skills with a bon mot at the judges’ table or whether he has very discriminating taste, but we could certainly forgive any shortcomings in that department. He certainly has Tyra’s seal of approval … and then some. According to RadarOnline, the 38-year-old model mogul and her 24-year-old recruit have been seen in L.A. and Newport Beach “canoodling” and going up to a hotel room together. This is mere weeks after Tyra was spotted out on a date with Drake, so all we have to say is, you go, Ty-Baby.

The recent Harvard grad openly showed her admiration for Rob, and posted an Instagram of them together last month with the caption, “All I can say is … yum.” Rob doesn’t seem to mind, either. In an interview with WetPaint after his Top Model gig was announced, he was asked if he expected rumors of a romance with his new boss would be surfacing soon. “Definitely. I’m a big flirt anyway,” he said.

[Photo: Instagram]

by Sabrina Rojas Weiss (@shalapitcher)

Gisele Bunchen Shows What Counts As A “Baby Bump” On A Supermodel

Gisele Bunchen showing what could be a baby bump

That “bump” you see on Gisele in the photos taken of Gisele last week looks a hell of a lot like what we like to call “breakfast.” But yeah, on a supermodel, it very well could be proof that the 32-year-old Brazilian beauty is in fact three months pregnant with her second child with husband Tom Brady. Us Weekly cited an unnamed source as confirmation that 2-year-old Benjamin was going to be a big brother.

On the other hand, the Boston Herald says Gisele’s rep denied the report. “She has not shared any baby news with any of her inner circle,” the spokesperson said in an email to the paper. “I think it is a slow news day at Us lol.”

Whether or not the rumor is true, we would like to say these two know how to make a cute baby — and Tom’s got another cutie, Jack, with ex Bridget Moynahan — so we certainly understand wanting to keep at it!

[Photos: Splash News Online]

by Sabrina Rojas Weiss (@shalapitcher)

Taylor Swift, John Mayer Cold War Continues With Awkward Moment In Hollywood Bar

Taylor Swift and John Mayer

We know it can’t be easy to be an ex-boyfriend of Taylor Swift, or an ex-girlfriend of John Mayer — you know you’re in danger of being skewered in a hit song or winding up with a rather unique nickname in the press. Still, it’s been two years since the two of them dated each other, so we were thought they’d have other exes to tear down. Not so much. We just learned how “humiliated” Mayer felt after hearing Swift’s “Dear John” song, and now according to the New York Post, it sounds like she doesn’t even want to be near him. She was about to be seated at West Hollywood hot spot Tower Bar, a source told Page Six, when she spotted Mayer sitting nearby. Swift promptly asked to be seated elsewhere (and the source said this was “drama central” but that sounds a little much).
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by Halle Kiefer (@hallekiefer)

Leighton Meester Comes Out On Top In Bizarro Lawsuit Against Her Mother

Leighton Meester Wins Lawsuit Against Mother

Next time you think Leighton Meester is just another pretty face, remember that she’s actually a pretty face who’s been quietly and with impressive dignity dealing with her “crazy” mother for years. If you recall, the That’s My Boy actress filed a suit against her mom Constance Meester last July; Constance was allegedly using the $7,500 a month Leighton sent home for her young brother Lex‘s medical fund…to buy herself luxury items “like plastic surgery, Botox, and hair extensions.” That must be some weave if it’s worth ignoring your son’s medical bills, Constance! Must be the finest weave in the entire world!

Meester’s mom allegedly argued in court that her actress daughter “had promised to take care of her,” which we guess somehow translates into having the smooth forehead skin of a wax doll? Luckily the judge on the case ruled that no such agreement existed. According to TMZ, the Gossip Girl actress will not get back the spent funds; instead she “just wanted the judge to make her mother go away.” Why do we have a feeling that won’t be happening any time soon? We were already going to see That’s My Boy; now we’ll want to go just so Leighton can recoup some of her losses!

[Photo: Getty Images]