Ryan Lochte already owned a tiny, horny piece of our heart after blowing up at the 2012 Olympics. Now we love him even more for being a real sport about Seth MacFarlane’s highly unflattering impression of him on SNL this weekend. “Well I gotta admit that was a pretty harsh one, but it’s cool to have Seth parody me,” Ryan admitted to Celebuzz. “I think he pegged me wrong, but when I heard he did a skit I knew I was in for it!” If it sounds like Ryan isn’t exactly thrilled with the impression, check out the Family Guy creator’s Lochte steez after the jump. Who would be excited about being portrayed as a drooling, mumbly jock with baby bangs? If we were Ryan, we’d never leave the pool! You know, so no one could see our tears?
Maybe it’s all those OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALS that make Ryan a bigger person than we. “It’s all in fun and of course if I’m talked about on SNL I know they are gonna get me ‘Go-od,’” Ryan joked. Overall, Lochte declared, “I give Seth two swims!” Oh man, that’s like a thousand thumbs up! On a related note, why do they give all the good lines on Animal Hospital to the monkey? That doesn’t seem particularly fair…
If you had guessed by now that Lindsay Lohan‘s snarky tweet about Amanda Bynes‘ on-going legal troubles would kickstart a feud, we’d say this isn’t your first time at the Celebrity Gossip Rodeo. “I HATE being compared to her,” TMZ alleges Amanda texted a friend about Lindsay’s tweet. We’d probably hate being compared to Lindsay too. It’s just…a really easy comparison to make, you know? It also doesn’t help to hear that Amanda was allegedly driving aimlessly around the Burbank airport “drawing attention to herself” before she was pulled over on Sunday. We’d compare her to George Washington if we could, but the connections are just way harder to make. Amanda doesn’t wear a powdered wig, and George was dead over a century before cars were invented!
As peeved as the All That alum might be at Lilo for calling her out, it’s Amanda’s uncle who will probably bare the brunt of her wrath. “She needs to stop drinking and driving,” Amanda’s uncle Ronald Bynes told Celebuzz. “She needs help.” Uncles, the nation’s foremost news source: because you’re going to tell someone about your driving woes, it’s definitely your gossipy Uncle Ron. Claims Bynes, “[Her father] doesn’t want to talk about her and often changes the subject. The problem is there’s no correspondence [between Amanda and her parents]. I don’t even think they know what’s going on with he.” Says Ron, “They’re very upset about her recent problems, but they’re in the dark.” On one hand, come on Uncle Ronald! Why you blowing up Mandy’s spot like this? On the other hand…if Amanda’s father honestly can’t even talk about his daughter’s problem, that might explain why her crisis seems to be continuing unabated…
[Photo: Getty Images]
Wait a minute…somebody looked at evidence in a celeb criminal investigation and concluded that they didn’t do it? What is this, Opposite Day? We thought that was in March! According to TMZ, however, sources who have allegedly sneaked a peek at the security footage from Miley Cyrus‘ alleged nightclub fight from last weekend say it confirms what Miley and Liam Hemsworth have been saying all along: Miley never, ever threw a punch at a fellow bar patron. While a police investigation into the event continues, their sources scoffs that he or she is “almost certain” Miley won’t be charged over the alleged event. Where upon we realized that this is only the latest situation where Miley Cyrus’ life could have jumped the rails and skidded off into Amanda Bynes/Lindsay Lohan territory, but didn’t. No, seriously! Think about it!
Chris Brown has been doing his best to move on following his 2009 assault conviction for abusing his then-girlfriend Rihanna. But understandably, many members of the public aren’t so quick to forget, not to mention forgive. That would explain why copies of his latest album Fortune were found in a London HMV mega-store sporting an advisory sticker reading: “Warning. Do Not Buy This Album! This Man Beats Women.”
Thought to be the work of anti-domestic violence campaigners, photos of the stickers have been making the rounds of social media even after the staff at HMV had the labels removed. “Someone went into one of our stores and put the stickers on,” HMV public relations manager Gennaro Castaldo told The Huffington Post. “We spotted and removed them quickly but before we could do so the person circulated a photo to media.” The record retail expressed has apologized publicly for the incident this morning. “It was very much an isolated incident and nothing to do with HMV or representing our views. It would appear a member of the public popped into one of our stores… and stickered a handful of CDs.”
Oprah may have thought the question everyone wanted to ask Usher was whether he makes love to his own music (answer: yes), but really what we all wanted to know was whether he really did cheat on Tameka Foster, with one of her own bridesmaids. On Oprah’s Next Chapter, his answer was a firm … not really.
“No. I was faithful at heart, but not faithful all the way,” Usher said. “Even having a conversation with another woman, period, about matters of your relationship or emotions is, in my opinion, not being faithful.”
And when Oprah tried to clarify the matter of whether he’d actually slept with another woman, he finally answered, “When we were separated, yes, I was. We were not divorced.”
Usher admitted to having doubts about the marriage right before their 2007 wedding, making many of us on the outside shake our heads along with O. At the same time, the singer did sort of make Tameka out to be the bad guy. “I did get a great sense of the insecurities that were there and the fact that she wasn’t coping well with being in this position, being married to Usher, and all that came with that,” he said, later adding, “She made us enemies in a way that I could never understood.”
Ugh, where do we even begin with this not-so-hot mess? Amanda Bynes‘ downward spiral has been well-documented, but nothing seems to stop this train-wreck from happening. It’s a major cause for concern, because it’s no cool to see someone run off the rails so dramatically. Right after Amanda was charged with two counts of hit-and-run for her previous automotive misadventures, she ended up getting pulled over even though her license had been suspended. She was let off this once with a verbal warning, for reasons that are still unclear to us. The woman was driving with her headlights off! We know, the Lindsay Lohan comparisons are so in everyone’s faces. How ironic is it that Lindsay herself has actually tweeted about the situation, writing, “Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far? +” She does have a point.
Here’s what’s been happening, in quick succession after that incident which can now be called a serious case of pushing luck. Amanda kept driving her car, with her license still suspended, natch, and got into a minor fender bender on Thursday night. This is after those dodgy pictures of Amanda smoking a pipe (cough, cough) were published. Stories from sources of her “delusional behaviour” — at her gym, no less — have been reported by TMZ. Hey, at least she’s still working out, right? Her neighbors allege that they’ve seen her talking to inanimate objects, for instance. To add to all of that, Amanda’a car was impounded yesterday, in Burbank, after she was pulled over by the cops (again) who wouldn’t let her fly with the suspended license any longer. Thank God for small mercies — she can’t get behind the wheel any longer. TMZ‘s also talking about her Amanda is apparently insistent that she’s not crazy, and that she doesn’t smoke weed and that “everything’s fine.” Lady, we don’t know how many times we can say this. Everything is not fine. You are not okay. Get help.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Related: Our Lilo Deja Vu Only Grows Stronger: Amanda Bynes Charged With 2 Counts Of Hit-And-Run
Amanda Bynes Pulled Over After License Suspended; We Pray This Is Performance Art
Amanda Bynes’ Pipe-Smoking Pics Raise A Lot Of, Er, Burning Questions
It’s weird to be able to see a celebrity’s terrible week coming before it happens. Usually it’s pretty surprising. if you can call Amanda Bynes having the same car accident over and over again “a surprise.” That being said, we’re calling it now: as of next Monday, Dina Lohan is going to have one of least pleasant weeks of her life. “You, like, in your little tie and your little shoes,” Lindsay Lohan‘s mom declares during her Dr. Phil promo. Hoo boy. While we have to wait until Monday to see her episode, the fact that Dina Lohan is even being interviewed about Lindsay is worrisome. The fact that she tries to excuse some of Lindsay’s numerous criminal offenses, explaining “She was living in New York at the time. Five of them would be obsolete,” is downright dire.
Of course, this week hasn’t been particularly great for Mama Lohan, either. “My mom talked about Hunger Games on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, which was something I had told her a million times not to do,” Jennifer Lawrence laughed to W Magazine. “She’s like Dina Lohan! – but she has good taste.” Out-of-left field burn! Oh man, and we didn’t even get into the fact that Michael Lohan stops by Dina’s Dr. Phil episode! Strike what we said before. She’s about to have a rough month.
We knew it was going to happen at some point. It’s not like any of us normos had a chance, but there was always some hope that we might accidentally wander in front of a taxi, a daring Ryan Gosling would tackle us to the ground and we’d realize the Universe had brought us together for a reason. You can sub in “a daring Eva Mendes” if you’re a straight dude or lady-loving lady, but either way we’ll all be crying in our lovingly illustrated Ryan Gosling coloring books tonight. According to OK! Magazine, Ryan is allegedly “head over heels” and ready to pop the question to Eva. We just need a minute…to set fire to all these pictures of us and Ryan we Photoshopped together. We just had so many empty frames to fill and it made sense at the time. Hindsight is 20-20
According to their source, it’s Mendes who has been the nuptial hold-out. To be fair however, the The Place Beyond The Pines costars have been dating for less than a year and Eva could potentially marry any man on the planet. “It’s something Eva has baulked at in the past but Ryan has a charming way of helping her see a different kind of future,” the source claims. “She’s getting on board with the idea of marriage.” We’re sad now, but we know we’ll get over it the second we see that rock. Or that wedding dress. Okay, it might take a Mendes-Gosling baby, but even we couldn’t resist such a beautiful creation.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We’re totally with the British royals’ statement about the topless photos of Kate Middleton just published in Closer magazine. “Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner,” a spokesperson said in a statement given to People. And we can only imagine how much it sucks for the Duchess of Cambridge to know pics of her sunbathing in a private home in France are currently being ogled at by people all over the world. (OK, fine, if you want to join in on the dirty fun, or react with outrage, you can see them on Egotastic.)
But here’s something to think about: In this day and age of high-tech photography and spying equipment, can a famous person ever expect their privacy to be expected? I mean, I’m not even famous, and I fear people peeking into my own windows every time I change. And I totally expect there’s someone spying on my computer and snapping pics of me every time I fall asleep with my mouth open on the subway. This is the kind of paranoia most of us have gotten used to as city and Internet dwellers. We’re wondering if maybe folks like Prince Harry and Duchess Catherine haven’t been so exposed to this world — they’re sheltered by guards and private modes of transportation, kept too busy to read Tumblrs like this — and so they don’t realize that we’re all being watched.
I don’t mean to blame the victim, here. Especially with the wife of a prince left motherless by the relentless appetite of the paparazzi. Just stating the sad fact that we all live in a world where maybe we should just be OK with getting tan lines. Or a bit of exposure. We don’t really see a third choice emerging anytime soon.
[Photo: Getty Images]
It’s a rough couple of days for Wes Bentley. The Hunger Games actor has reportedly been denied entry to Canada due to a four-year-old drug bust. As a result he will be unable to attend the Toronto Film Festival and promote his latest film, The Time Being. Bentley’s life took a wrong turn following his career making performance in the classic American Beauty, and by the mid 2000s he was addicted to drugs and alcohol and eventually filed for bankruptcy to dig himself out of a six-figure credit card debt. He was even homeless for a period, and hit low when arrested for possession of heroin back in 2008.
He has since recieved treatment and gotten clean of drugs, but his past caught up with him when trying to gain access to Canada.”Wes really wanted to go to the Toronto International Film Festival premiere of his movie and had his team contact the head of TIFF to try and pull some strings with the government,” an insider told RadarOnline. “There was nothing anyone could do. Wes was really upset and felt awful about not being able to partake in the promotion of the film.” Sorry about that, Wes. Here’s a video of a plastic bag blowing in the breeze that should cheer you up!
[Photo: Getty Images]