by (@hallekiefer)

We’re Calling It Now: Dina Lohan Is Going To Have A Terrible Week Starting Monday

Dina Lohan Acts Oddly During Dr. Phil Interview

It’s weird to be able to see a celebrity’s terrible week coming before it happens. Usually it’s pretty surprising. if you can call Amanda Bynes having the same car accident over and over again “a surprise.” That being said, we’re calling it now: as of next Monday, Dina Lohan is going to have one of least pleasant weeks of her life. “You, like, in your little tie and your little shoes,” Lindsay Lohan‘s mom declares during her Dr. Phil promo. Hoo boy. While we have to wait until Monday to see her episode, the fact that Dina Lohan is even being interviewed about Lindsay is worrisome. The fact that she tries to excuse some of Lindsay’s numerous criminal offenses, explaining “She was living in New York at the time. Five of them would be obsolete,” is downright dire.

Of course, this week hasn’t been particularly great for Mama Lohan, either. “My mom talked about Hunger Games on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, which was something I had told her a million times not to do,” Jennifer Lawrence laughed to W Magazine. “She’s like Dina Lohan! – but she has good taste.” Out-of-left field burn! Oh man, and we didn’t even get into the fact that  Michael Lohan stops by Dina’s Dr. Phil episode! Strike what we said before. She’s about to have a rough month.

Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

Sorry, Everyone Else On The Planet: Ryan Gosling Allegedly Ready To Propose To Eva Mendes

Ryan Gosling Proposal Eva Mendes

We knew it was going to happen at some point. It’s not like any of us normos had a chance, but there was always some hope that we might accidentally wander in front of a taxi, a daring Ryan Gosling would tackle us to the ground and we’d realize the Universe had brought us together for a reason. You can sub in “a daring Eva Mendes” if you’re a straight dude or lady-loving lady, but either way we’ll all be crying in our lovingly illustrated Ryan Gosling coloring books tonight. According to OK! Magazine, Ryan is allegedly “head over heels” and ready to pop the question to Eva. We just need a minute…to set fire to all these pictures of us and Ryan we Photoshopped together. We just had so many empty frames to fill and it made sense at the time. Hindsight is 20-20

According to their source, it’s Mendes who has been the nuptial hold-out. To be fair however, the The Place Beyond The Pines costars have been dating for less than a year and Eva could potentially marry any man on the planet. “It’s something Eva has baulked at in the past but Ryan has a charming way of helping her see a different kind of future,” the source claims. “She’s getting on board with the idea of marriage.” We’re sad now, but we know we’ll get over it the second we see that rock. Or that wedding dress. Okay, it might take a Mendes-Gosling baby, but even we couldn’t resist such a beautiful creation.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Kate Middleton Topless Photos Prove There Is No Longer Such A Thing As Privacy

Kate Middleton Duchess of Cambridge

We’re totally with the British royals’ statement about the topless photos of Kate Middleton just published in Closer magazine. “Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner,” a spokesperson said in a statement given to People. And we can only imagine how much it sucks for the Duchess of Cambridge to know pics of her sunbathing in a private home in France are currently being ogled at by people all over the world. (OK, fine, if you want to join in on the dirty fun, or react with outrage, you can see them on Egotastic.)

But here’s something to think about: In this day and age of high-tech photography and spying equipment, can a famous person ever expect their privacy to be expected? I mean, I’m not even famous, and I fear people peeking into my own windows every time I change. And I totally expect there’s someone spying on my computer and snapping pics of me every time I fall asleep with my mouth open on the subway. This is the kind of paranoia most of us have gotten used to as city and Internet dwellers. We’re wondering if maybe folks like Prince Harry and Duchess Catherine haven’t been so exposed to this world — they’re sheltered by guards and private modes of transportation, kept too busy to read Tumblrs like this — and so they don’t realize that we’re all being watched.

I don’t mean to blame the victim, here. Especially with the wife of a prince left motherless by the relentless appetite of the paparazzi. Just stating the sad fact that we all live in a world where maybe we should just be OK with getting tan lines. Or a bit of exposure. We don’t really see a third choice emerging anytime soon.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Hunger Games Actor Wes Bentley Barred From Canada For Drug Bust

Wes Bentley banned from Canada for drug bust

It’s a rough couple of days for Wes Bentley. The Hunger Games actor has reportedly been denied entry to Canada due to a four-year-old drug bust. As a result he will be unable to attend the Toronto Film Festival and promote his latest film, The Time Being. Bentley’s life took a wrong turn following his career making performance in the classic American Beauty, and by the mid 2000s he was addicted to drugs and alcohol and eventually filed for bankruptcy to dig himself out of a six-figure credit card debt. He was even homeless for a period, and hit low when arrested for possession of heroin back in 2008.

He has since recieved treatment and gotten clean of drugs, but his past caught up with him when trying to gain access to Canada.”Wes really wanted to go to the Toronto International Film Festival premiere of his movie and had his team contact the head of TIFF to try and pull some strings with the government,” an insider told RadarOnline. “There was nothing anyone could do. Wes was really upset and felt awful about not being able to partake in the promotion of the film.” Sorry about that, Wes. Here’s a video of a plastic bag blowing in the breeze that should cheer you up!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Sally Struthers, Michael Madsen, Joe Simpson: Would You Like The Number Of A Good Car Service?

Sally Struthers, Michael Madsen and Joe Simpson

Guys, we’re pretty sure we’re not coming up with this idea all on our own: There are people, actually sometimes large groups of people, whose job it is to drive you around when you can’t/shouldn’t/don’t wanna do it yourself. You don’t even need to employ one all on your own. You can maybe even call one at the very last minute when you realize that your flu medication and that one beer you had shouldn’t have been mixed. Sally Struthers, Michael Madsen, Joe Simpson, Amanda Bynes, these people would be really happy to serve you.

Struthers became the latest in an increasingly disturbing list of celebrities to be arrested for DUI when she was pulled over this morning in Maine. The 65-year-old All in the Family star was actually just charged with misdemeanor “operating under the influence” and was released on $160 bail, People reports. So she wasn’t Randy Travis-raving level, which makes us feel a little better.

Kill Bill star Michael Madsen, meanwhile, wasn’t drunk but was recovering from the flu when he was pulled over for erratic driving last night, sources told TMZ. OK, sources, maybe you should be better friends and drive him where he needed to go rather than letting a sick man get behind the wheel of a hot rod. He was actually treated for flu-like symptoms at the hospital last night, so that’s kind of believable … but police say he also blew a .20 on the Breathalyzer.

And then there’s good old Joe Simpson, who was arrested at a checkpoint last month and tested .12 on the Breathalyzer. Today he pleaded not guilty to DUI and is due back in court in October, TMZ says. The gossip site speculated that he had been at daughter Jessica’s favorite Mexican joint Casa Vega, which is near where he was stopped. We bet it’s also a place where taxis might pick you up.

We’re not picking on you, guys, especially since you haven’t been convicted yet. We’d just like the streets, and our favorite celebrities, to be safe out there!

[Photos: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Ryan Lochte Sounds Totally Smitten With Miss USA Olivia Culpo At Fashion Week

Ryan Lochte, Venus Williams and Olivia Culpo

Since Ryan Lochte is planning to launch his own fashion line soon, it makes sense that he’s all over the runway shows of New York Fashion Week. But now we’re kind of wondering how much he’s actually studying the fashion and how much he’s studying the ladies near him in the front row. But that’s his job too now, right? His antics with Prince Harry practically proved he’s ready to be American royalty, and thus we are obsessed with matching him up. How fitting, then, that the latest object of his attention appears to be Miss USA herself, Olivia Culpo. The pair were first spotted together last week, at a show for Evening Sherri Hill, and later that night at 1Oak. “We just met last week, so I can’t say anything for that, but he’s a good guy,” she told reporters.

But Ryan was even more effusive about the beauty queen when E! caught up with him yesterday, when he was again snapped in the front row with Olivia. “She is beautiful. I love hanging out with her. She has a great sense of humor, she makes me laugh, she’s just a good girl to hang out with,” he said. “She was telling me yesterday that she had never done a pageant until like a year ago, and now she’s Miss USA. She’s got something.”

Wow, those were a lot of words coming from the notoriously brief interviewee, which means either he’s getting better at this, or he’s in loooove.

And in other news, he made some great faces with Tyra Banks

View Photo Gallery

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Chris Brown’s Tattoo Artist Speaks Out: “I Would Never Promote Domestic Violence”

Chris Brown's tattoo artist denies that he made a picture of Rihanna

Chris Brown raised a lot of eyebrows in the last few days after showing off a new tattoo that looks suspiciously like a portrait of his beaten up ex-girlfriend Rihanna. But now the tattoo artist who did the inking is weighing in, and frankly he’s pretty bummed that our minds went there. Celebrity tat guru Peter Koskela opened up to E! News and firmly denied that the image depicts the abused pop singer. “It was really a blow to me to think that people would think so little of a person that I would actually put a picture of a beaten woman on his neck,” he said. “That was crazy to me, that he would come to me and say, ‘Hey, I want Rihanna’s face on me.’”

Chris’ reps have tried to shead a little light on what the image is actually supposed to represent. “His tattoo is a sugar skull (associated with the Mexican celebration of the Day of the Dead) and a M.A.C cosmetics design he saw,” they explain. “It is not Rihanna or an abused woman as erroneously reported. It is peeling right now.” According to Koskela, the image is looking a little roughed up because his skin hasn’t totally recovered yet. “People thought it was a beat-up face, but it takes two weeks to heal because the neck is constantly moving.”

The artist feels genuinely horrible about the whole media sh-tstorm his work has unleashed. “I would never promote any kind of domestic violence like that,” he insists. “Even if he asked me to do it, I would have bounced right there. I don’t do racist tattoos, I don’t do gang-related tattoos and I don’t do anything hurtful. That is just the motto I live by. The other tattoo artists might, but I just don’t.” Next time maybe Chris should just go with a butterfly.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Amanda Bynes’ Pipe-Smoking Pics Raise A Lot Of, Er, Burning Questions

Amanda Bynes

On Tuesday, three days after Amanda Bynes had been pulled over for not having her headlights as she was driving with a suspended license, the actress was snapped by paparazzi during yet another vehicular adventure. In photos obtained by TMZ, we can follow along on Bynes’ reported three-hour tour around Los Angeles, which was as seemingly aimless as it was oddly fascinating — due to the fact that she stopped more than once to smoke out of a pipe designed to look like a car lighter. Here are just some of the many questions that popped up in our minds while looking at these photos. (We think we answered our first question — Is that really Amanda Bynes? — by finding the above recent photo of her with brown hair.)

1. Is there no one around to drive Amanda to the store these days? Don’t all her friends/family/employees realize she has a suspended license?
2. Why do Californians eat at Baja Fresh when there are so many amazing food trucks and authentic Mexican restaurants around?
3. Does Amanda have a prescription for marijuana? (Alternate question: Is that marijuana?)
4. If so, could she maybe just smoke it at home?
5. If you’re going to smoke openly — and leave buds all over your car — why bother with a pipe disguised as a lighter (the concept of which kind of blows our sober minds)? Why not use one of those pretty glass ones? Read more…

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Heidi Klum Admits She’s Sleeping With Her Bodyguard, Denies Cheating On Seal

We’re sure there’s a sequel to The Bodyguard in here somewhere. Model and former Victoria’s Secret Angel Heidi Klum admitted today on Katie that she is in fact hooking up with her bodyguard Martin Kristen.  OK, technically she said that they were “seeing” each other, but potato po-tah-to right? Whatever the case, it’s still very early days for the couple. “I don’t know if I can call it [a relationship],” she told host Katie Couric. “It just started. I don’t know.”

This news is probably is sending shock-waves of rage through her ex-husband Seal. As the divorce between the couple/costume enthusiasts heats up, Seal has been making claims that Heidi cheated on him with this same bodyguard during their marriage. He even told TMZ that he wishes that she’d “waited until we separated before deciding to fornicate with the help.” That’s harsh! He later apologized for the comment, but he’s still obviously not happy with the whole thing. “He’s upset,” a friend of the couple told People. “What really bothers Seal was this guy was a dear friend. They called each other ‘brother.’ He feels betrayed.”

But Heidi denies these accusations, saying that she “never looked at another man” over the course of their seven year marriage. But lately she has been seen out and about with Martin quite a bit, even getting photographed together on vacation in Sardinia, Italy. She opened up about the new man in her life today on Katie. “I trust him with my children’s life,” she said. “He’s a great man and, recently, we just got to know each other from a completely different side.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Zachary Quinto Confirms He’s Dating Jesse St. James…We Mean, Jonathan Groff

Zachary Quinto Dating Glee's Jonathan Groff

We’re just saying, wouldn’t it be an amazing plot twist if Jesse St. James returned to Glee, only to start dating Zachary Quinto? First of all, Rachel would be super pissed (though, let’s face it, not entirely surprised). Second of all, Kurt’s head would explode off his shoulders and fly around the room like a fabulous, shocked balloon. While we won’t hold our collective breath on any Zachary Quinto cameos this season (or that balloon thing, because come on), the Star Trek actor did confirm that he is dating Glee star Jonathan Groff. “I’m incredibly happy, I’m incredibly lucky,” he told Out Magazine about his relationship. Jonathan’s no Wade Adams, but he’ll do. He’ll do just fine.

The American Horror Story actor also opened up about his decision to come out last October. “One of the defining conversations that I had with myself was that absolutely no good can come from me staying quiet about [my sexuality]. Literally, no good can come from it. But if I take the step to make the acknowledgment and be honest, so much good could potentially come from it,” Quinto explained. We’re just glad we live in a time where we can get equally squeal-y about adorable gay couples as we can about straight ones. We’re so excited, we could break out in a choreographed song-and-dance number! If that was a thing that happened in real life!

[Photo: Splash News Online]