by (@hallekiefer)

Chris Brown And Drake Sued For $16 Million Over Club Brawl; Lawsuit Cites All That Rihanna Drama

We love how Rihanna wasn’t even there when the epic nightclub battle between Chris Brown and Drake went down in June, yet she allegedly still gets mentioned in the lawsuit served to both artists by WiP nightclub. According to the suit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, the club claims that Chris and Drake “shared a grudge against the other arising out of their romantic relationship with the same woman,” which lead them to “fight violently with each other” on June 14. Now, we understand Rihanna (or some other mysterious unnamed woman) might be a big part of why Chris and Drake strongly dislike each other, but why eight people ended up hurt in the fight…yeah, RiRi has nothing to do with that. Tony Parker, who is currently suing the club for $20 million after receiving a scratched retina in the fight, would probably agree.

And it probably didn’t help things that both Chris and Drake arrived to WiP with what seems like their own militia. According to the suit, both performers “each arrived with his own small army of bodyguards, ‘security’ personnel, employees, friends and other members of their entourage, consisting of at least 15 heavily built men trained and/or experienced in hand-to-hand and weapons combat.” The club claims it’s owed $16 million for Chris and Drake’s “gross negligence,” “ultrahazardous activity” and “intentional illegal acts.” Our question is, which of those translates into “foolishness combined with the drink combined with a reckless disregard for people’s retinas”? Yeah, you’re right. It’s all of them.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Blossom, Nooooooo! Mayim Bialik Injured In Car Accident, Might Lose Finger

If you need to slip into a leotard and tap dance out all the feelings you have right now, we understand. Okay, we know we’re being hyper-glib, but it’s only as a defense mechanism to cover up the fact that we feel inappropriately sad about Mayim Bialik possibly losing a finger! According to TMZ, the Blossom star allegedly received “serious injuries” in a car accident in L.A. this afternoon. After her Volvo was struck by another vehicle, a source reported that there was “tons and tons of blood everywhere.” As for the actress’s injury, allegedly Bialik’s “finger was almost completely severed … it was just hanging there.” Nooooo! Our childhoods! Noooooooo!

Fortunately TMZ also reports that Bialik was immediately rushed to a nearby hospital for treatment, and it sounds like Mayim is going to pull through. Worse comes to worst, we’re sure they could explain why her Emmy-nominated Big Bang Theory character might have lost a digit (Calculator accident? Or maybe a…calculator accident? We seriously need to watch that show more). Either way, it’s our opinionation that this is completely unacceptable treatment of Mayim Bialik by the universe. Actually, that’s probably everyone’s opinionation. What monster wants to see Blossom lose a finger?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Abby Elliott Is Leaving SNL? Luckily We’ve Got 5 Up-And-Comers SNL Can Hire Right Now!

Abby Elliott Leavs SNL

Abby Elliott is officially leaving SNL, and so begins the show’s meticulous search for a new cast member. Or SNL could just hire one of the five comedians we chose for them below! Weeee! What a time saver! Seriously though, seeing as how SNL hired the hilarious Kate McKinnon immediately before Kristen Wiig‘s exit (and Andy Samberg shan’t be returning in the fall), it only stands to reason the show will be bringing in some new faces soon. Maybe some of the faces can be…these faces?

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by (@shalapitcher)

Jodie Foster’s Kristen Stewart Essay Makes Us Wonder: Could We Do Without Celebrity News?

Kristen Stewart and Jodie Foster

If you read Jodie Foster‘s essay about Kristen Stewart on TheDailyBeast.com today, we’re sure you were alternately shaking and nodding your head. She is so eloquent as she describes how she’s survived her 46 years as an actress with a private life intact: “I have neurotically adapted to the gladiator sport of celebrity culture, the cruelty of a life lived as a moving target.” And admits that if she were a young actor in today’s climate, she’d probably just up and quit. Then she laments how the happy-go-lucky 11-year-old Kristen Stewart she knew while making Panic Room now has to dodge paparazzi at every turn. “The young woman doesn’t cry. F— no. She doesn’t look up. She’s learned. She keeps her head down, her shades on, fists in her pockets. Don’t speak. Don’t look. Don’t cry.” God, how sad is that image! We agree with you, Jodie! We can’t wait until she can hold her head high again, and “spin in wild abandon.”

But hold on a second. Is that really what we want. Putting aside for a second the fact that celebrity gossip is my living, I just want to think about what entertainment would be like if we knew absolutely nothing about our stars besides their names and what other movies they’re in. Would a heartwrenching scene be just as moving without the knowledge of what kind of joy or sorrow the actor is drawing from in real life? On one level, yes. I’ve enjoyed plenty of foreign movies, for instance, about whose stars I’m completely ignorant.

But there is one thing definitely missing from that experience: When I don’t feel connected to a performer on a personal level of some kind, I don’t feel driven to seek out the next projects — or whatever came before the first thing that caught my attention. In short, I appreciate their talent without becoming a fan. I’m not suggesting that every star needs to let me into their bedrooms and diaries, to let us throw stones at them when they sin, mind you. But when we get to know them as people, there’s a deeper connection that lives on after the credits roll. Do you agree?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Kris Humphries’ Lawyers Served Kanye West By Putting A Subpoena In A Nordstrom Box

Imagine for a moment that you’re Kanye West. It’s cool, we do it all the time. You’ve just woken up nice and rested after an 8 hour break from your girlfriend Kim Kardashian’s baby voice. You head downstairs and find a package from Nordstrom, so you think, “Oh great, my Rue La La orders are here!’ You tear into it feverishly expecting to find your hot new pink polo and you find…a subpoena! BOOM! You just got served by Kris Humphries’ lawyer.

Kris’ legal team proved themselves to be nothing short of Nobel-Prize-level geniuses when they pulled this stunt to trick Yeezy into being served a subpoena, thus drawing him further into the Kim/Kris divorce fray. We heard that his facepalm was audible for miles. But Kim’s lawyer Laura Wasser is calling foul over the sneaky move during the court case that is currently underway. Kim is already $250,000 deep into the proceedings, but her team is still uncertain what Humphries hopes to get out of the whole mess.

According to his lawyer Marshall Waller, Kris intends to prove that the entire marriage was simply a publicity stunt for her reality TV empire and demands to be granted an annulment. In an effort to get more information on the program, he has subpoenaed not only Kanye, but momager Kris Jenner as well as the show producers and high ranking executives at NBC Universal. Team Kim is claiming innocence, saying they don’t know why Kris would suspect that the marriage was anything other than sincere. Exiting the courthouse today, Wasser told TMZ “We’re just moving forward. My client just wants to be divorced.” We’ll report back with more!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

Robert Pattinson Deflects Breakup Talk With Breakfast Cereal On GMA – What Will Interviewers Feed Him Next?

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We’re wondering who should get a kickback from today’s Good Morning America interview of Robert Pattinson — Cinnamon Toast Crunch, or The Daily Show. Taking a page straight out of Jon Stewart’s plan from Monday night, GMA‘s George Stephanopoulos used the cereal instead of Ben and Jerry’s as a prop/tough-question-deflection tool. It certainly served its purpose, but proved more awkward than cute.

“I gotta get the elephant in the room out of the way: Everybody just wants to know how are you doing, and what do you want your fans to know about what’s going on in your personal life?” Stephanopoulos said, after the offering of cereal and obligatory praise for Pattinson’s Cosmopolos performance.

“They seem pretty excited about kind of whatever!” Rob said, laughing. “Literally, you can be like, ‘I’d like my the fans to know that Cinnamon Toast Crunch only has 30 calories a bowl in it,’ for instance. Pretty much anything that comes out of my mouth is irrelevant.”

And with that, Rob made it clear that he wasn’t really going to say anything more about the Kristen Stewart matter. “You get into it to do movies. I’ve never been interested in trying to sell my personal life,” he said.

Stephanopoulos backed off and went for an easier question: “Is there any way to get used to all this?”
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by (@missmuttoo)

Is Robert Pattinson Really Doing Okay? Yeah, He Says, And Parties In NYC To Prove His Point

Robert Pattinson Parties At Soho House

Robert Pattinson wants you to know he’s doing fine, guys. After his sexy Cosmopolis premiere pop-upclassy appearance on the Daily Show and his New York Stock Exchange bell-ringing, it was time to sit down, along with his director, David Cronenberg with Showbiz Tonight. When asked whether he was doing okay — since reports of him wallowing and boozing it up are rife — he succinctly replied, “Yeah” and laughed! The reporter even admitted he looked “absolutely fine”, to which he said, “Since the first Twilight, you enter this kind of realm where… you get stuff reported about you, and it’s weird.” Cronenberg added, “It’s a very abstract realm that doesn’t have a lot to do with personal reality” following that up with “People think they know what’s going on but they don’t know what’s really going on.” Robert continued the vein of thought, saying, “You start having a total disassociation … On top of that, loads of people just make it up anyway so it doesn’t make any difference.”

And then, when the interviewer asked one last time, if he was really okay (as in really, really okay, RPattz), same answer. “Yeah.” You heard it guys. And you can see it too, not just in the video, but in the photographs of him above, looking like some sort of ’90′s heartthrob, in a backwards cap, heading out of Soho House last night. With a very over-enthusiastic security dude, we might add. He looks just fine, like he’s had a couple of drinks even! Bonus picture after the jump, which illustrates our point!  Read more…

by (@missmuttoo)

Kristen Stewart Rumored To Have Been Axed From Snow White Sequel, But Is There A Sequel At All?

Kristen Stewart Rumored To Be Dropped From Snow White Sequel

While we’re putting this in rumor territory, the buzz around is so strong, we have a feeling it’s probably true. Kristen Stewart‘s affair with director Rupert Sanders and subsequent, alleged, break-up with Robert Pattinson has had so much fallout already, that this development could be part of the afterburn. It is being said the Snow White and the Huntsman sequel is being canned by Universal and that a new film fashioned on the Huntsman’s story is being touted. Which means it’s all about Chris Hemsworth. The gossip mill is in overdrive saying that Kristen is not going to be involved at all in the spinoff, if its given the green light. Whether Sanders is going to be involved is as yet unclear. What we do know is that screenwriter David Koepp, is being bought out of his contract. By that we mean, he’s going bye-bye. Koepp had been hired to write the Snow White sequel, and the fact that a new writer is going to be hired instead of him, is quite a strong indication that a new storyline is being discussed. A Universal rep has even said, “The studio is currently exploring options to continue the franchise.”

This story doesn’t seem to be unlikely. Snow White is where Stewart and Sanders met and obviously the space where their “affections” for each other grew. And the affair has been met with such universal censure that its natural that studios would get antsy. But is it fair? That’s a whole different argument altogether. We do agree that having Sanders and Stewart together on a project would be toxic. At the same time, we also have to take into consideration that Universal hasn’t exactly announced what they’re planning to do — and if there is going to be a sequel at all. “Exploring options” doesn’t translate into a film being made. So before anyone goes around saying Stewart’s being canned proper, we’re going to have to wait and see what sort of film Universal is going to go ahead with — if they’re going ahead at all — sequel or spinoff?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Rumor We Love: Anderson Cooper And Andy Cohen Hang Out In Croatia, Ergo Must Be In Love Forever

Anderson Cooper And Andy Cohen Hang Out In Croatia

More like Watch What Happens Love! Okay, we’ll readily admit that was a horrible joke. We are just too excited for witticisms, now that we caught wind of the fact that Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen could possibly, potentially, allegedly be dating. Based on their respective Instagram pics, Gawker deduced that the Anderson journalist and Bravo late night host are vacationing together in the romance capital of the world: Croatia. “Look who just took the same instagram pic as me @bravoandy,” Cooper tweeted earlier today, along with a shot of Cohen beaming in front of a sunset. Why not put it in sky writing, you guys? Actually, could you do that? That would make things easier for us, both legally and emotionally-speaking.

Add to this the facts that 1) photos emerged yesterday of Anderson’s boyfriend Ben Maisani making out with another dude and 2) both Cohen and Cooper have taken down the photos captured by Gawker, and all signs point to some sweet, sweet, Kathy Griffin-approved lovin’. Besides, even if they’re just friends now, who can resist the erotic power of a Croatian sunset? Literally no one. Oh man, just thinking about their celebrity wedding makes our hands go number with gleeeeeeeee.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Crocs Founder Drunkenly Blames His DUI On Taylor Swift, Still Isn’t The Craziest Celeb Bust Of The Week

Crocs founder blames his DUI on Taylor Swift

Heads up, Hallmark, it’s Crazy Celebrity Arrest week starring Taylor Swift! But don’t worry Team T-Swizzle, it’s not in the way you think. In addition to her full schedule of buying houses and dropping singles, Taylor somehow managed to cause Crocs footwear founder George Boedecker to get a DUI…without even being in the same state! At least that’s what the shoe baron drunkenly claimed. In a tale as ridiculous as Crocs themselves, the 51 year old Boedecker was discovered passed out at the wheel of his Porsche in Boulder, Colorado. According to TheSmokingGun.com, police arrived to find him being treated by EMTs, who diagnosed Boedecker as being  “drunk as crap.” It’s unclear exactly why he drank so much, but then again if we invented the ugliest shoe known to human-kind we’d probably drink to forget, too.

When questioned by police, he insisted that he was merely napping and that his “girlfriend” was driving the car. Who was this girlfriend, you ask? “A really f—ing famous [singer],” he told authorities, before coyly asking if they had ever heard of Taylor Swift. When cops asked where this non-present girlfriend was at the moment, Boedecker claimed that she had gone back to Nashville after an argument and that she was “batsh– crazy.” It seems like someone’s definitely batsh– crazy in this story, and it doesn’t seem like it’s Taylor. But the best part of the whole incident? George was reportedly wearing flip-flops, which just proves that no one likes Crocs.

Incredibly, this may not be the most insane celebrity arrest of the day. MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller was found sleeping naked on a couch in an Orange County-area church this morning. The pastor saw signs of a break-in at the Mission Viejo’s Mission Hills Church and phoned the authorizes, who discovered the first floor in complete disarray with walls spray painted and books strewn across the ground. It was mayhem, in every sense of the word.

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