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Dear Hollywood, Please Don’t Make A Top Gun Sequel

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It’s happening again! Hollywood (you know, the generic movie maker types that live near palm trees? We just use the blanket term “Hollywood” for them) has decided that it might be a good idea to rehash another beloved 80′s film, and this time the sequel victim is Top Gun. Did Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps teach us anything? Sure, it taught us that “[Blank] Never Sleeps” is the new “Electric Boogaloo” as far as sequel subtitles are concerned, but more importantly, we learned that sometimes it’s best not to revive old, dead things. Take note, Hollywood, bad things happen when you revive film franchises 25 years later. (See all three Star Wars prequels for further evidence.)

We felt similarly annoyed when we heard of a possible three-quel to Three Men and A Baby as well – these are films we cherished as kids, and to bring them back means possibly ruining them and their legacy. Granted, they aren’t Citizen Kane, but they are classics to us and seems like Hollywood is not only suffering from a lack of originality, but that it’s an easy way to cash in on loyal fans’ and for stars to make a buck off an easily recognizable name.

Part of the reason Top Gun was so amazing was the crop of new(ish) talent it introduced us to: Tom Cruise, obvs, but also Meg Ryan, Val Kilmer and Anthony Edwards‘ hair (R.I.P. hair). It was also obliviously campy – beach volleyball has been forever changed because of this movie, and like lightning in a bottle, you shouldn’t bother trying to capture it again. Please, Hollywood. Do it for us, the children of the 80s, the slow kids who spent five years trying to decipher what it meant to be forced to fly a cargo plane full of rubber dog sh*t out of Hong Kong, who giggled when air traffic control spilled their coffee during a flyby, who spent an hour trying to do Iceman’s pencil trick with our fingers. Don’t ruin this for us.

[Photo: Paramount Pictures]

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The Ten Craziest Looks From The Jackass 3D Premiere

The main thing we learned from the Jackass 3D premiere is that life needs more Rip Taylor. The former game show regular and friend to the Jackass family is killing us in his pictures from the film’s L.A. premiere last night, but he’s just one of many interesting characters who walked the red carpet. Rather than just throw together a regular gallery from the film’s premiere, we decided to put together a Top Ten Most Insane Looks list because there was a hot cup of crazy being passed around last night, and everyone was drinking from it. In addition to the regular Jackass crew, Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera and Steve-O, we got some old MTV favorites, some total randos and some people we can’t explain. See for yourself.

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[Photos: /Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

Kristen Stewart Says “Anal” In New Clip, But We’re Too Busy Watching Her Act To Care

We’re seeing Welcome to the Rileys tomorrow and while we’re loving this clip of Kristen Stewart (photos) as Mallory, casually dropping words like “anal” and “p*ssy,” we’re genuinely curious and excited about what awaits us in the indie flick. Sure, some might find it shocking that the same girl who plays a virginal vamp-lover is rocking stripper heels and making jokes about nailing German Shepherds in this Jake Scott-directed flick, but die-hard KStew fans know the actress is all about pushing herself out of her comfort zone with every role she hooks under her belt.

WTTR looks no different, and  it might be Kristen’s riskiest part to date. What’s more, she shot it in the Fall of 2008, right after she spent months tripping over things as Bella Swan in Twilight. After seeing WTTR, Roger Ebert called Kristen “an important new actress,” while USA Today gushed, “For an actress like Stewart, it would be easy to play it safe. Knock out a romantic comedy or a Nicholas Sparks weepie while the vampire cash keeps rolling in from Twilight sequels. Instead, Stewart is challenging herself, and moviegoers, too.”

Our point? Kristen’s got chops. She can go from biting her lip in the biggest franchise movie in the world to convincingly portraying a somber teen stripper in an indie flick, all within a blink of her (to die for) eyes. She doesn’t take the easy road, instead she prefers the road less traveled by her limelight-loving peers. Say what you will about Twilight, her personal life, her refusal to flirt with the paparazzi like Paris Hilton – but don’t tell us this girl can’t act.

Welcome to the Rileys opens on October 29th; which is when you’ll find our full review of the movie here on theFABlife.

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For Such A Downer-Looking Movie, The Never Let Me Go Premiere Looks Pretty Fun!

We don’t know much about the book-turned-movie Never Let Me Go aside from what’s in the trailer: a lot of tears, a lot of stern schoolmarms and a bunch of sad British kids isolated from the real world. So for such a depressing movie, it sure looks like the cast was having a lot of fun at the premiere.

Carey Mulligan and Keira Knightley continued their run as two of Hollywood’s best dressed stars (though we favor Mulligan’s look here), and together with Andrew Garfield they look like a Vanity Fair cover featuring a who’s who of hot young British talent. Check out the rest of the young cast, and excuse us – we’ve been inspired to go get our hair chopped into a short, waifish ‘do.

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Helen Mirren’s Not Cut Out For Red Premiere

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Helen Mirren flaunted her new figure on the red carpet last night at the Los Angeles screening of Red. The real thing was on location in New York filming scenes for Arthur with a swooning Russell Brand. But the red carpet had more than its share of Oscar-winning star-power with the likes of Jodie Foster, Richard Dreyfuss and Morgan Freeman, who was thankfully without his step-grandchild lover. Also in attendance was Weird Al, which is…yes, weird. Check out the outfits, the glam, the couples and the cardboard in the gallery below!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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FABLife’s DVD Pick Of The Week

Leaves of Grass

Edward Norton is an actor with such a serious reputation that even watching a popcorn film like The Incredible Hulk is a recipe for a headache. So it’s a lot of fun to see the chin-stroking actor let go in this loopy pot comedy-drama. He plays both Bill Kincaid–a straight-edge philosophy professor hoping to put his Oklahoma “Little Dixie” past behind him–and his twin Brady, a man who might be called the Einstein of the hydroponics. Bill reluctantly returns to the old homestead after learning that his pot-dealing bro has been killed by a crossbow bolt. That’s just the beginning of a tricky and just a little goofy progression of double-crosses. The sibling rivalry/identical twin plot devices are even older than Cheech & Chong, but as well as Norton’s star turn, Grass offers incidental pleasures such as Keri Russell reciting Walt Whitman and Richard Dreyfuss wielding a menorah with intent to harm. An amiable crowd-pleaser.

Extras: A making of featurette and a commentary track, where Norton and director Tim Blake Nelson reveal that most of their stage weed was recycled from Pineapple Express.

- By C. Bottomley

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Worst-Sounding Movie Pitch Ever Somehow Got Greenlit

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We’re convinced that 99% of things we say and think in our daily life are ripped off from a Mike Myers character, whether it’s Wayne, Austin Powers, or Charlie from So I Married An Axe Murderer. We can’t even listen to “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” without singing it in a Scottish accent, that’s how big of an influence Myers was on us growing up.  So it’s not without a little bit of regret that we say this but, Mike, please stop making crappy movies. And please, please reconsider the Warner Brothers cartoon movie you’ve just signed on for where you plan to voice  Pepe Le Pew, the rapey-est cartoon skunk there ever was.

We tolerated A View From The Top, cringed when we heard about The Cat In The Hat and downright turned on you after The Love Guru, so if this pattern is any indicator, the Pepe Le Pew movie is going to cause a revolt amongst otherwise sane, sensible people. That’s how bad we think it will be. Sometimes movies require some convincing when you hear their premise, like “Really? A dream within a dream within a dream where they fight in the snow within another dream? I don’t know, Inception!” or “An actual movie that’s actually about Facebook?” and we’re willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. But from the outset we can just tell that Mike Myers doing a French accent, wearing a skunk outfit and trying to molest fur coats and stray cats is going to be terrible. The only way we could find this forgivable is if  it’s just part of Mike’s plan to become rich enough to join the Pentavirate, that secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, taking the coveted Colonel Sanders spot.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Photo Of The Day: Shirtless Tom Cruise Rides A Zipline

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Props to Tom Cruise for still doing his own stunts on  the set of Mission Impossible: IV, and kudos to him for staying in good shape too. Still, we thought these photos of Tom in all his shirtless glory were kind of funny in their awkwardness because, well, no picture of someone riding shirtless on a zipline while trying to hold up their entire body weight is ever going to look flattering.

Bonus photo of  the day: The man who looks entirely unimpressed by Tom as he approaches for landing.

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[Photos: Splash News Online]

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FABLife’s DVD Pick Of The Week

The Human Centipede: [First Sequence]

A pair of American tourists vacationing in Germany take a wrong turn on the way to the nightclub. They stumble upon a house inhabited by a surgeon who may be a huffing some of his own ether. That’s just the beginning of this fiendish exercise in gross-out. Turns out the mad doctor has plans to stitch together more or less what the title promises, fashioning the world’s longest gastric tract in the process. While there’s enough instances of shock in writer-director Tom Six‘s to make it right home at the Siamese tent-shows that inspired it, what is truly unexpected are the moments of stiff humor and even tenderness. Holding it all together is the improbably named Dieter Laser as the doctor who holds a PhD. in creepy. A horror movie with, if you will, legs.

Extras: Deleted scene, behind the scenes featurette, casting tapes; Six also provides a commentary track and interview.

- By C. Bottomley

Check out our exclusive DVD bonus clip above!

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Katherine Heigl Doesn’t Realize There’s A Camera On Her At All Times On The Red Carpet

Life As We Know It is a new Katherine Heigl movie, not to be confused with the upcoming Bret Michaels show Life As I Know It on VH1. The main difference between the two being that one stars a blond celebrity that makes us cringe and the other stars Bret Michaels.

The new movie premiered last night in New York City and the many faces of Heigl were in attendance – she was certainly expressive on the red carpet, wasn’t she? Still, she looked glamorous in that red satin dress, we have to admit.

Heigl was surrounded by a trio of Joshes as well, who all looked dapper. Husband Josh Kelley was posing by her side, and co-stars Josh Duhamel and Josh Lucas tried hard not to gag during Heigl and Kelley’s red carpet makeout sessions. Check out all of Heigl’s red carpet wacky face (quick, someone hit her on the back so it’ll freeze like that forever!) in our gallery below.

[Photos: /Splash News Online]

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