Tired of being disappointed by big-budget box office bombs? If so, consider trying an indie movie on for size the next time you get a hankering to catch a movie. If that sort of mood washes over you anytime soon, might we suggest looking up show times of The Romantics at a theater near you courtesy of your Samsung Epic™ 4G? Speaking of which, our own Janell Snowden caught up with the film’s stars Katie Holmes — she’s tall! — and Malin Akerman earlier this week at the film’s New York City premiere. Check out what they had to say to us below!
Have you seen the trailer for Country Strong yet, the new movie where Gwyneth Paltrow tries to convincingly portray a drunk country singer? Y’all, we have been watching it constantly this morning, partly because we’re fascinated by her accent, and partly because it’s so full of cliches we’ve been busy trying to count them all. Join us, won’t you, in bullet-pointing the predictable and cringey plot-points of this future cult classic. The one thing it has going for it is at least now when we think of Gwyneth singing, her duet of “Cruisin’” won’t be the only thing we think of anymore.
0:15 Country music star Kelly Canter is released from rehab after a bout of drunk and disorderly conduct. Hey, will she relapse, only to find redemption? I wonder!
0:32 Introduction of Kelly’s new, young rival and tourmate, Chiles Stanton played by Leighton Meester. Oh, honey Chiles. She’s the prom queen who idolizes Kelly, which can only mean she goes All About Eve on her ass.
1:13 Kelly’s back on the sauce! Kelly’s back on the sauce! Too much pressure! Too many rivalries! A cute and wise new bandmate! It’s a lot to process. In other news, do any other country singers you know have such defined abs and wear so many diamonds? That’s the Tracy Anderson/Harry Winston effect.
1:19 Punches are thrown between the wise young bandmate and Kelly’s husband! Drunk Kelly collapses in tears because she knows she’s a shell of her former self! Is she going to write a number one song like Bad Blake in Crazy Heart, or try to prove herself to her loved ones like Johnny Cash in Walk The Line? What form will her redemption take??
1:24 “This is Kelly’s last opportunity to turn things around!” says Kelly’s husband/manager Tim McGraw. Of course it is.
1:29 Wait, are they hoboes, riding a train like that? Please let there be hobo flashbacks!
1:37 You just had to bring a children’s cancer ward into this, didn’t you?
1:38 Kelly rises like a phoenix/back-lit American Idol contestant to strum her guitar in front of flags and cars to prove the old girl’s still got it.
1:59 Wait, now she’s doing a jig onstage that doesn’t match the rhythm of this song. Who edited this?
2:04 Leighton Meester shows us how it’s done with the coy-smile-turned-laugh-in-the-credits moment.
2:14 “The first time I heard you sing, I thought, that must be what angels sound like,” said Tim McGraw, who has been reading too many Nicholas Sparks novels.
2:23 Kelly tells Chiles “That’s how it’s done sweetheart,” and she and her wig walk offstage, leaving Chiles to simmer in her cowboy boots an metallic dress.
2:29 The crowd chants “Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!” and we realize that they are a metaphor for all of her relationships and that everything is going to be all right.
Why hello there, love child of Ed Westwick and Robert Pattinson. Who exactly are you and can we have a taste? The man in question, the chiseled statue of sex groping Miley Cyrus in the photo above, is a young chap/lad/fellow (hey, he’s British, we can call him those things) by the name of Douglas Booth, and he’s about to be the star of many a woman’s sex fantasy.
Douglas doesn’t have many credits under his belt, which means he’s ripe for corrupting. He’s 18, models for Burberry alongside Emma Watson, played Boy George in some BBC biopic and is now Miley’s co-star in LOL, currently shooting in Paris.
He caught our eye because he’s got RPattz’s ‘I just boned’ hair and firm man jaw, mixed with the smooshed, delicate facial features of our beloved Chuck Bass. Top that off with a stick-thin body only an 18-year old Brit can rock, and we’re in business. Start crushing on him now so you can be there amidst the rabid crazies to say you found him first.
Ugh, can you imagine waking up every morning with Tom Cruise‘s jowls hanging over you? That’s what poor Katie Holmes suffers through, with only a 1,000,000 thread blanket to hid under and shed her Xenu tears. So we couldn’t help but feel a little tug at the one heart-string we have left when we saw her awkwardly pose with her captor husband on the red carpet of The Romantics premiere. Yes, we know they popped a Suri out and have been grinning like this for 5 years, but we still don’t buy it. Eventually the crazy juice is gonna wear off and Katie is gonna wake up and run for the Hollywood Hills.
Katie’s castmates – Malin Ackerman, Josh “Where’s Fergie?” Duhamel – were also on hand for the big night, smiling uncomfortably for the cameras. Did everyone where clothes that were 2 sizes two small or do rich people just enjoy walking on eggshells? Pics below.
With his wide-eyed boyish enthusiasm, Will Forte was a valuable member of the Saturday Night Live line-up. Taking his super-agent MacGruber and turning him into a comic franchise, however, has the potential of stretching a single gag thinner than a dynamite fuse. This is SNL by the numbers, working a generic formula familiar to anybody who has seen a Will Ferrell movie. Like Rip Van Winkle, the shaggy-haired MacGruber must reconcile the ideals of the mid-’80s NBC primetime line-up with those of the present world. Val Kilmer is on hand to provide the menace courtesy of some C-list theatrics. So what’s new? Well, Forte, who co-wrote the film, jacks up the violence to R-rated levels and there are cameos by a gaggle of WWE wrestlers. Should they choose to accept it, the younger generation will find this an adequate time-waster between rounds of Call of Duty.
Extras: An “unrated” cut, gag reel, a deleted scene, and a cast/crew commentary.
- By C. Bottomley
Enjoying the Labor Day weekend? Well, depending on the weather in your neighborhood, it’s not too late to check out Going The Distance, the new romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. At the world premiere of the film in Los Angeles last week, our own Janell Snowden — armed, as always, with her her trusty Samsung Epic™ 4G — caught up with Jimmy Fallon (who, once upon a time, starred opposite Drew in a romantic comedy himself!), Airborne Toxic Event and co-star Natalie Morales. Check out their thoughts on the film below!
We are Harry Potter nerds, and as such, anyone involved in the franchise can do no wrong in our eyes. However, we found a quote from a recent interview with Emma Watson to be kind of peculiar. Emma explained the romantic element of the final Potter films, she said “This kiss between Hermione and Ron is highly anticipated, it’s been building up for eight films now. And Harry Potter is not Twilight, you know; we’re not selling sex.” Don’t get us wrong, we love everything about Emma, we love her new pixie hair, and mostly we love Hermione Granger, but we found this to be weird, since Twilight is 3,000 pages of sexual tension and about 2 pages of island sex.
These are the books where the main characters do it all of two times (in no gratuitous detail, thanks for nothing, Stephenie Meyer) before a monster starts growing inside Bella, trying to punch, kick and eat it’s way out.Ã‚Â Sure, there’s the mental image of Robert Pattinson biting his pillow to downy bits which we’d pay good money to see, but there’s only about 2% more sex in Twilight than there is in Harry Potter. Just, you know, to clarify. Of course we don’t blame Emma for not reading the books, girlfriend has movies to shoot and Ivy League universities to attend.
The world has been waiting for Burlesque, the Cher-Christina Aguilera-sparkles-and-stripper-fest, to hit theaters in November. (And by “the world” we mean us, a few gay guys, and fans of Stanley Tucci.) First, we got the Showgirls-like trailer, and now we have the movie poster, which is a glistening piece of pop art. The razzle-dazzle! The hat tipped to one side! The luscious pink lips! And most of all, the way Cher and Xtina look exactly like women in the weird posters hanging in the hair salon we went to in 1989.
Not to mention, Christina’s rocking the Latisse lashes and beauty mark. God, this movie is already a cult classic and it hasn’t even come out yet.
[Photo: The Life Files]
Alexander Skarsgard makes us want to throw whatever morality we have out of the window. In our defense, butts like that come along only once in a while, ‘kay? It’s no wonder then that this little nugget of information makes us exceedingly happy. Because more A.Skars equals more drool.
Our boyfriend (leave us alone, Kate Bosworth) is going to be on the big screen (squeal!). Apart from True Blood, Skarsgard has signed up for Battleship. You know, the super action-packed video game?Ã‚Â He revealed, “It’s quite different from the board game, obviously. Pete is a great guy Ã¢â‚¬â€ the director,Ã‚Â Peter Berg Ã¢â‚¬â€ and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m just excited to start it, I really am.” Not more excited than we are, trust us.Ã‚Â They’re going to start shooting in Hawaii next week. Ah, shirtless Skarsgard, we welcome you. Sadly, you’ll have to wait until May, 2012 for his goodness to grace the big screen.
By the way, this movie seriously packs in the sexy. Because he co-stars with Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker and Taylor Kitsch. Can you feel the hotness? Maybe it’s a good thing it’s releasing in 2012…it gives us time to prepare ourselves for the sizzle!
We’re going to stay, straight up, that we’re feeling Anne Hathaway‘s new hair. The reason for the chopped locks is that she’s filming One Day in Paris with Jim Sturgess. The movie is adapted from the David Nicholls‘ eponymous, best-selling novel, BTW.
So, if the film is sticking to the book then the movie should start set in 1988 and then gradually progress to the 21st century. She does look retro here (outfit included), doesn’t she? Almost elfin. Seal of approval because not many actresses could carry off this look. Except Emma Watson.
Oh, to be a gazillion feet tall and a bazillion pounds lighter. It’s a big change but we’re digging it! Check out some of her past styles in the gallery below!
Update: Her publicist just went on record to say that this new ‘do, sadly, is just a wig.
[Photo: Splash News Online]