Admittedly, my biggest question while watching the premiere of Arrow last night was: Why do they keep making Stephen Amell wear shirts? But we assume that mystery will never be fully resolved, so instead, we turn to the kinds of questions that the CW’s newest superhero series might actually answer. Or maybe, those of you who aren’t stereotypical girly girls like myself and have actually read the Green Arrow comics already know the answers and can fill us in — assuming the show sticks to the source material. Here goes:
1. Will we ever be free of the show’s terrible voiceover? Seriously, it only reiterates the things we can already gather just by watching the show, and it’s SO AWKWARD. Crossing fingers that was just a pilot thing.
2. Did Oliver’s dad know they were going to wreck on this island? It sure seemed like they had that emergency raft ready pretty quickly — especially given how fast the water sucked up Sarah. And if they were expecting it, why didn’t they pack more water? Read more…
Oooh, we are so eager to see how Rayna James is going to put that little upstart Juliette Barnes in her place — eventually. That we are so eager to take sides after seeing just one episode of Nashville is mostly due to the talents of Connie Britton (with a little help from Hayden Panettiere’s unparalleled bitchface). This is going to be one good fight. Though it’s certainly not the toughest battle the 45-year-old actress has fought onscreen. What we would give to see her face down an entire town of small-minded football fans for the sake of the kids on Friday Night Lights one last time. Or to see her actually survive the torments of her haunted house on American Horror Story.
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Actually, some of us missed Connie’s other amazing roles, pre-Tami Taylor, and we are now kind of motivated to catch up on them. She’s had recurring roles on Ellen, Spin City, The West Wing and 24. And she first honed her suffering wife act in Ed Burns‘ breakout movie, The Brothers McMullen, back in 1995. One day, we hope, the world will stop putting terrible obstacles in the way of the women she plays, but until then, we’ll be rooting for her!
It’s hard to believe, for us olds anyway, that it’s been 15 whole years since we were first introduced to Mark Wahlberg’s (disappointingly prosthetic) Dirk Diggler in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Boogie Nights. Although, when you think about Wahlberg producing Oscar-nominated movies like The Fighter and Anderson directing serious fare like The Master, it does seem a long time ago that they were making this darkly comic look at the ’70s porn industry. If only Roller Girl Heather Graham had learned how to evolve her career in the same way.
As started to look back at the 1997 flick this week, we realized it’s part of a continued Hollywood tradition of taking advantage of the public’s lust for X-rated stories … that they can pretend to be watching for more, intellectual reasons. From movies about strippers — Flashdance, Striptease, Showgirls, Magic Mike — to “behind-the-porn” flicks like Boogie Nights, Inside Deep Throat and the upcoming biopic Lovelace, these flicks give their sexxxy subjects sad back stories, economic hardships and unfulfilled dreams. And doesn’t that make you feel better about going to the theater to watch really, really attractive people get naked?
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By the way, people, there actually is nothing wrong with watching real porn and/or live exotic dancing, as long as you’re of age. Just so you know.
[Photos: New Line Cinema, Millenium Films, Columbia Pictures, 20th Century Fox]
We all wish we were the Jessa of our friend group, but somehow must learn to deal with the fact that we will always be the Shoshanna. And while Shoshanna might accidentally smoke crack and take off into the night like a started, jeggings-clad fawn, she almost certainly would never pose topless while pregnant. Or talk about her coke-filled past. At least not as readily asGirls‘ Jemima Kirke does. “I do remember that, and that you seemed somewhat impressionable at the time. So I thought, ‘I could probably get this girl to do drugs with me,’” Jemima recalls about the one special night she spent with Vice interviewer Annette Lamothe-Ramos in a bar bathroom as a teen. About her formerly wild life, the married mother of one admits,”I think that way of life stopped working for me really quickly. Some people know how to balance things, at least enough to be able to continue messing around, but I didn’t. I was very all-or-nothing about it, and you burn out really quickly if you keep going that way. It really f—ed me.” Wow, Lena Dunham must just write down everything Jemima says directly into a Final Draft file, right? Right.
The mark of a great competition movie is if you go into the theater either despising or not at all caring about the sport/art/craft in question and you leave promising yourself to buy tickets to the next real-life event in your area. That happened to me with Best in Show 12 years ago — I have been to at least five dog shows since then — and now I’m seriously looking into the next collegiate a cappella showdown after seeing Pitch Perfect. Will I feel the same way about Butter? We’ll see. Anyway, on the occasion of not one but two movies featuring weird but bizarrely obsessive niche contests opening this weekend, we thought we’d look back at some other faves of the genre. Some are high quality films — like Drumline, The Hunger Games and Glengarry Glen Ross. Others are pure camp — Bring It On, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Strictly Ballroom. And a few are great if you fast forward to the preparation montages and the contests/battles themselves — Breakin’, Stomp the Yard, Step Up 2 the Streets. What’s your favorite? Check out the gallery and weigh in!
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[Photos: Warner Bros., 20th Century Fox, Universal Pictures, Lionsgate]
Unless you are a major policy wonk, or were too busy doing other things, at some point during last night’s presidential debate you stopped trying to parse out Mitt Romney’s and President Obama’s opinions on Dodd-Frank and instead entertained yourself with everyone’s smartass commentary on Twitter. And given that at the time, there were 17,000 tweets a minute sent relating to Big Bird, chances are you and your friends were laughing about Romney’s comments that though he likes the giant yellow Muppet, he doesn’t think the federal government should borrow money from China to support PBS. For its part, PBS told Radar that as a 6-year-old, Big Bird doesn’t really care about politics. Before this amazing meme goes the way of Clint Eastwood’s chair, we gathered our five favorite examples of the Internet capitalizing on Mitt’s totally left-field reference.
For a split second, we wondered why Jon Hamm insists on wearing such tight pants if he knows he’s going to have such a strained, overstuffed crotch situation. After we subsequently went into the bathroom, stared in the mirror and slapped ourselves in the face a few times, it dawned on us that maybe all pants are tight in Jon Hamm’s crotchular area. Unless there are special pants with extra-baggy crotches (which we imagine has the Mad Men wardrobe department sewing around the clock, maybe this is just what off-the-rack pants are like for him. And no man can wear sweatpants 24/7.
We guess our larger point is that new photos of Don Draper walking around Boston with Danny McBride bring us to the conclusion that those other photos of Jon Hamm were not photoshopped. You know the ones. If you don’t, here they are! Now that we look at them…we like he might be wearing the exact same pair of pants in the two sets of photos. That would explain a lot. The Superficial has about a dozen more Hamm crotch shots if you still aren’t convinced, and even if those don’t sway you…time well spent.
We try not to get too political here, unless we’re talking about American Idol politics or Lindsay Lohan vs. Amanda Bynes. But some days you just can’t ignore major political events (and, no, we’re not talking about tonight’s presidential debate between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama). Today mark’s the 20th anniversary of POTUS and FLOTUS (that’s First Lady Michelle Obama to you) totally and completely committing themselves to one another in matrimony. Now, in politics long marriages aren’t uncommon (even if cheating scandals abound), but in Hollywood years, these two have been married for eons. So to celebrate one of the couples who have restored our faith in the sanctity of marriage, we’ve compiled a gallery of their 20 best-looking moments. Because let’s face it: true love is based on how good you look together, right?
Are we wrong in thinking that everyone on the planet knows about the Versace safety pin dress Elizabeth Hurley wore in 1994? Maybe everyone in the entire galaxy? We know literally nothing about fashion other than certain things are pretty and/or shiny, but even we remember how the fashion world’s collective head exploded when Liz rolled up to the Four Wedding and A Funeral premiere rocking those pins. All of which explains why Lady Gaga looked like she was slipping into an ecstasy coma while wearing the iconic gown in Milan today. We feel you, girl! If we saw ourselves in Versace…well, there’s a reason we paid good money for this fainting couch.
After a six-part rollout on all the official Twilight Facebook pages, Summit released the final theatrical one-sheet poster for Breaking Dawn – Part 2 this morning, and man, does it get our blood pumping. Sure, we liked all the intimate family scenes and gathering of special vamps from far and wide that the previous still gave us. But this one, like the sneak peek of the movie we saw during the VMAs, is all about the action. We always kind of dug the way the second half of Stephenie Meyer’s book turns into a sort of X-Men battle, in which it’s all about whose superpowers are superior — even though we know the victory will ultimately belong to those whose motivations are pure and right, rather than petty and vindictive. OK, that sounds cheesy when we say it that way, but it totally works in the book. We are feeling fierce just looking at Edward, Bella and Jacob. Are you?