OK, so Kim Kardashian shouldn’t quit all her day jobs for a life as a photographer — ohh, that lighting, the angle, the phone in the face! Also, the bikini she’s wearing in these two photos she posted to Instagram, bragging “#nofilter #nophotoshop” doesn’t quite seem to fit her so well. But we have to give props where they’re due: Kim clearly doesn’t need Photoshop or great lighting to make her body look awesome, and these pics are just what we needed on this sloooow news day.
As is pretty inevitable with any remake, this week’s hot new release Total Recall is currently undergoing a million and a half comparisons to the 1990 original. Both movies, based on a Philip K. Dick story called “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” concern a man named Douglas Quaid who is plagued by disturbing nightmares and visits a service called Rekall that promises to improve your life by implanting new memories into your brain. Both movies also star an incredibly good-looking cast that make us look forward to a future in which everyone’s bodies will be perfectly toned. Since we’ve yet to catch the new flick, we here at VH1 Celebrity are going to tackle this comparison a little differently: by superficially comparing stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin to Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. Oh, and we haven’t forgotten baddies Ronny Cox and Bryan Cranston, and all-important three-breasted women Lycia Naff and Kaitlyn Neeb.
This could be your most important decision of the day, so examine these photos closely and then tell us…
[Photos: Columbia Tristar Pictures]
We know what you’re thinking: how could anyone conclusively pick the top 25 hottest Olympians of all time? There have been literally thousands of athletes spanning well over a century! We completely agree, but with all the love we’ve been giving the men and women of the 2012 Games via our Top 50 Hottest Olympians Blazing London This Summer, we wanted to give a shout out to those who came before them in the Olympics‘ long, proud history of talented babes. From Muhammad Ali to Pete Sampras, Sonja Henie to Kristi Yamaguchi, it turns out being incredibly fit and profoundly talented never goes out of style. Their clothes and haircuts, however…look, few people could pull off what Flo Jo pulled off, okay? It was the late ’80s to early ’90s. Things were different back them. So enjoy ogling our 25 Hottest Olympians of All Time, and holler at us if we forgot your favorite Olympic babe. Oh, and in case you’ve never seen a young Bruce Jenner before…you’re very welcome.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We’re used to seeing the most absolutely delicious photos of Ryan Lochte. Those chiseled abs, that million-dollar smile, those eyes that look right through to our souls…that happens for you guys too, right? We thought so. Well our boy Ry is turning 28 today! And what’s he doing to celebrate? Well, his run in the 2012 Olympics is over after receiving silver in the 200m individual medley and bronze in the 200m backstroke on Thursday, so he’ll be cheering on his fellow team USA competitors. Even though he calls his results in London just “a little above average,” he really does make us so proud. He is coming home with two golds, two silvers and one bronze, not to mention a “Call Me Maybe” parody and a tweet of support from his all time fave, Lil Wayne (maybe Weezy heard our plea.)
We have learned that Lochte may not be the best rep from men’s swimming to interview, but he is one of the most successful! On top of his collection of medals, Lochte also fancies himself a designer with the limited edition line of footwear that he put together with Speedo (be sure to check out the green, rhinestone-encrusted high-tops). But what’s one thing we love the most about Lochte? It’s how he can pull off the most ridiculous facial expressions and still be totally charming! Whether it’s in the pool, on deck, in an interview or at a shoot, Lochte has shown us just how hot he really is even when caught on camera in the silliest of ways.
[Photos: Getty Images]
Before we all put on sleep masks and ear plugs for the day to avoid spoilers about who wins today’s Women’s Gymnastics All-Around Final, let’s take a closer look at one of the favorites. 16-year-old Gabby Douglas flew (quite literally) onto our radar at the Olympic trials, where she edged out reigning world champ and teammate Jordyn Wieber for the #1 spot. At 4’11″, G-Dougs is the shortest shorty on the team, but her presence is huge and we can’t wait to watch her battle it out with fellow superstar Aly Raisman tonight for the gold.
1. Gabby was nicknamed the “Flying Squirrel” by National Team Coordinator/Legend Márta Károlyi for her soaring abilities on the uneven bars.
The LA premiere of Total Recall showcased a face-off between two of the loveliest leading ladies in Hollywood: Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale! The two stars took very different approaches to their red carpet style and honestly, we’re not too sure how we feel about either of them. Jessica was undeniably pretty in pink, but something about the color coupled with the gown pushed the whole look dangerously into high school prom territory. On the other hand, Kate Beckinsale was anything but cutesy as she slithered past the paps in a scaly snake skin number that seemed borrowed from a corner of Lady Gaga’s wardrobe labeled “Not Quite Psychotic Enough.” Sorry ladies, but we might have to call this fashion face-off a draw and name Colin Farrell the winner! That’s just the way it goes sometimes. The premiere was also chock full of many other stars, including Breaking Bad duo Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, Sofia Bush, Audrina Patridge and more! So head on down to the gallery below and see who you think was the best dressed star of the night!
[Photo: Getty Images]
To those of us who aren’t big sports fans during normal times, the Olympics provide an introduction to all those sportscasters the rest of you know and love (or don’t) the whole year through. This week I feel like I got to know veteran sports reporter Andrea Kremer. She’s a veteran and a pioneer with all sorts of accolades — but none of that is what impresses me. It’s how she’s able to hold a mic up to these beautiful specimens of the male body, still panting from the races they’ve won or lost, their swimsuits hanging impossibly low on their hips (do they yank them down for the camera?), their hair mussed and free from caps, their skin glistening just so with pool water, and she looks at their EYES. The Atlantic Wire says her questions are sometimes biting and hard, but we think they’re rather straightforward — “What happened?” “How does it feel to win?” And then she smiles and nods in response without once reaching out to test Michael Phelps‘ abs, to stroke a Ryan Lochte pec, to point out that Conor Dwyer’s trunks are showing a little too much. That, my friends, is a skill that comes only with practice and hard work. Here’s a little gallery of Andrea Kremer NOT staring at male swimmers’ chests at the 2012 London Games.
What happens when you put a bunch of exquisitely toned individuals — all amped up and stressed out for the most anticipated day of their lives — and put them in a small space for two weeks? The answer is: a lot of sex. How much is “a lot,” you ask? Well according to E! News, Olympic officials put in an order for 100,000 condoms to be made available to athletes in the Olympic Village. Considering there are an estimated 10,000 international sports stars gathered for the 16-day event, that’s a pretty (in)decent amount of sex.
“There’s a lot of sex going on,” U.S. Women’s Soccer goalie Hope Solo confirmed to ESPN. “With a once-in-a-lifetime experience, you want to build memories, whether it’s sexual, partying or on the field. I’ve seen people having sex right out in the open. On the grass, between buildings, people are getting down and dirty.” Hopefully, no judges were present.
But surely that’s just a few free spirits, right? “I’d say it’s 70 percent to 75 percent of Olympians” says U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte. And he’d know: it’s rumored that he’s doing the doggie paddle with fellow swimmer Blair Evans of Australia. We’re not sure what will happen to their flame once the Olympic flame goes out, but it’s a proven fact that the Games are a fantastic place to meet a partner. Don’t believe us? Just ask Roger Federer, Kristi Yamaguchi, Lindsay Vonn and other champs who came for a medal and left with a partner! Head on down to the gallery below and read eight tales of love and romance during the Olympics!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Michael Phelps swam his way into the history books yesterday by earning his 19th Olympic medal, becoming the most decorated athlete of all time. And I feel totally qualified to talk about that achievement, as I personally have earned four separate trophies for Little League. Beat that, Phelps! Wait, I’m told that everyone else on the team — and maybe even the league — also got a trophy, but I’m not letting that detract from my moments of glory. So obviously I can relate to what Phelps must be feeling like right now. But man, 19 medals!? Can he even remember each of them? We can! Head on down to the gallery below to relive the moments, from Athens back in 2004, all the way to last night’s victory in the 4×200m freestyle relay finals. So chant a few “USA! USA! USA!”s and check out the highlights from Michael Phelps’ record breaking career. Enjoy!
[Photo: Getty Images]
The U.S. women’s gymnastics team has made us pretty damn proud to be Americans today. Sorry, the entire Internet spoiled what won’t air on TV until tonight, but spoiled it with amazing news! You can now officially jump for joy because the Fab Five have just won the gold medal in the gymnastics team final! This triumph marks the first time that the U.S. gymnasts will take home the team gold since the “Magnificent Seven” won in Atlanta’s 1996 Olympics. With impressive floor performances given by Jordyn Wieber, Gabby Douglas and Aly Raisman, the team beat out both Russia and Romania with an overall score of 183.596. (Woo!!!)
To celebrate the team’s gold medal and give ourselves a little background on what winners look (and act) like, we have put together some of the best Olympic photos and tweets from these fabulous girls. Take a look and get ready to be stunned. Seriously, some of the positions they get themselves in are pretty unbelievable and make us realize just how uncoordinated and inflexible we are. If their moves aren’t enough to make you fall in love with them, these gymnasts’ fun, charming sides surely will.
Way to go, Fab Five! GO TEAM USA!
[Photo: Getty Images]