by (@shalapitcher)

VH1 Celebrity Bikini Awards: Courtney Stodden, Maria Menounos And All The Other Ladies Who Defy Categorization

Arianny Celeste, Maria Menounos, Courtney Stodden

It’s the second week of the annual Bikini Awards, and you’d think we’d run out of sexy men and women to objectify in their tiny triangles of fabric. But though we’ve thoroughly covered the supermodels, pop singers, Disney alums, reality-TV stars, Hollywood stunners and, of course, the boys of summer, we have one more category of bikini greatness to share with you. Only we have no idea what to call them, as these ladies kind of defy simple categorizations. We have the likes of Maria Menounos, TV presenter and now an expert ballroom dancer. There are foreign hotties like Italian actress Elisabetta Canalis, Swiss-Italian TV hostess Michelle Hunziker and Miss Finland, Sara Chafak. UFC Octogon girl Arianny Celeste basically dons bikinis for a living, but that doesn’t mean she minds wearing them on her days off too. Courtney Stodden demonstrated earlier this week that she’s as good at dancing in a two-piece as she is at floor-flashing in one. Socialite Tinsley Mortimer manages to make her dip in a pool look super classy. And though since dating George Clooney, Stacy Keibler has been covering up more than flashing her amazing gams, she still managed to land a magazine cover baring her magnificent midriff. Which of these multi-talented women do you most love seeing splash around at the beach? Peruse the gallery and then choose. Voting ends July 15 at 11 p.m. ET.

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[Photos: Splash News Online, Twitter]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Welcome Back To America, Lady Gaga’s Butt! We Missed You!

Lady Gaga LAX Welcome

Did you know Lady Gaga has been gone on her world tour for exactly 666 days? Okay, we made that up, but that’s the only thing that would have made Gaga’s triumphant return from her shows in Australia much more bad-ass. Flying into LAX today, the “Princess Die” singer greeted the U.S. the only way she knows how: middle fingers blazing, butt clearly visible through her pantyhose. Actually…this is really embarrassing. Was no one else wearing see-through tights over a thong while she was gone? Why wasn’t anyone keeping the faith alive? We needed you back, girl! The nation needed you back.

Lady Gaga Arrives At LAX

Maybe Gaga is just getting into the mood for her next album, for which the singer says she has the title and concepts; it seems like a middle-finger-plus-visible-cheeks endeavor. “Let’s just say I feel, I feel that when I wrote Born This Way, I demonstrated a sense of maturity,” Gaga told her Perth audience this past weekend. “And I feel that, on the next album, there’s a lack of maturity, it’s a tremendous lack of maturity or sense of responsibility.” That sounds…incredible. You know, literally seeing Lady Gaga’s behind back on American soil — it feels like today is the real Independence Day. If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go listen to Martina McBride and drive around on the back of a cherry red Ford pickup.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Tyson Chandler Goes Nude For ESPN‘s Body Issue: Here’s 26 More Athletes We’re Gonna See Naked

Tyler Chandler goes nude for ESPN Body Issue

We’ll be honest: ESPN‘s Body Issue gives us body issues. Have you seen some of these athletes!? Their toned and tanned torsos look like slabs of beef, whereas ours has more in common with a bowl of oatmeal. A large bowl of oatmeal. The body really is an amazing thing sometimes, especially with people who devote their lives to physical fitness. ESPN created the annual Body Issue basically to stare at these incredible masters of muscle. They even lay it out in their mission statement:

“Each year, we stop to admire the vast potential of the human form. To apologetically stand in awe of the athletes who’ve pushed their physiques to profound frontiers. To imagine how it would feel to inhabit those bodies, to leap and punch and throw like a god. To … well, gawk. So go ahead; join us.”

This is all well and good, but it sounds like just another excuse to get attractive people naked. And hey, we’re totally cool with that! New York Knicks center Tyson Chandler graces the cover of this fourth annual issue, with just a basketball covering his, well … basketballs. “‘The Body Issue’ is a chance for the ‘average person’ take a good look at athletes bodies and why we are able to do the things we do,” he told the magazine. “I wanted people to look at my body and see why I’m able to do the things I do on the court.” So go ahead folks, look at his body. Go on, LOOK AT IT!

And get ready, because he’s not the only fitness fiend we “average people” are going to get a chance to feast our eyes upon. Check out the gallery below for the rest of the athletes who stripped down for the issue. You’ll get a chance to see ‘em all when the issue hits newsstands on Friday!

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[Photo: ESPN]

by (@hallekiefer)

Jon Hamm’s Baseball Pants Own Today’s Internet

What’s the word for when you’re swooning, but also you’re shrieking at the top of your lungs at the same time? Shrooning? Swieking? We are swieking with panicked joy over these photos of Jon Hamm at the 2012 Taco Bell All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game yesterday in Kansas City. Our hands are flapping so hard with excitement, we’re about to rocket out the window to Don Draper beard scruff heaven. And if there had been any visible Taco Bell in these photos? Forget about it. We would be lying under this computer in a heap. We know, we know, it’s so embarrassing when we can’t stop ourselves from leering over the Mad Men star, but would you please use your eyes and your soul look at those baseball pants? You. Guys. Good thing we packed our lunch in a paper bag today, seeing as how we need it to hyperventilate into it.

Okay, we’ll reign it it, but seriously, as far as we can tell Jon Hamm is good at everything (everything = looking good while smiling and wearing cleats). The Bridesmaids star joined Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet, Glee‘s Chord Overstreet, America Idol‘s David Cook and a bunch of other people who aren’t Jon Hamm for the game, which airs on ESPN tonight. And then…we guess the Internet is over after today? We could keep it going, but that sort of seems like gilding the lily. The lily being Jon Hamm’s baseball pants, obviously.

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[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@shalapitcher)

True Blood Remembers Its Horror Roots: The 8 Scariest Moments From “Let’s Boot And Rally”

Jesus' severed head on True Blood

Don’t get us wrong, we love the sex and twisted humor of True Blood. But every once in a while, the show gets so wrapped up in the task of squeezing 15 quirky plots and 50 blindingly beautiful actors into an hour of TV, it forgets another essential element of a show about vampires and other supernatural beings living in a swampy, remote town: the scary bits. To make up for it, apparently, Alan Ball and Co. made last night’s episode, with the deceptively innocuous title “Let’s Boot and Rally,” a full-on horror extravaganza. Here I’ll list the scariest bits, and at the end you can vote for the scene that kept you up all night.

1. Jesus’ head has a message. Poor Lafayette can’t catch a break. In answer to his prayers for help from the boyfriend he murdered, both Lafayette and his crazy mom are visited by the Dia de los Muertos version of Jesus (pictured above).

Rat bodies

2. Rats eat Russell Edgington’s leftovers in the spooky abandoned mental hospital. Love how Sookie fully acknowledges that they’re about to enact the oldest horror-movie scene in the book, but still, we were wimpering right along with Alcide’s employee Doug. Everyone else was just too jaded by life in Bon Temps to flinch.
Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

We’re Happy To See Awkward 12-Year-Old Megan Fox Had The Same Beauty Regimen We Did

Megan Fox Posts Middle School Photos

Let’s see…pin-straight hair, metal hair clips, super-tweezed eyebrows groomed with an old toothbrush just like Seventeen instructed. Yup, middle school Megan Fox was rocking the exact same look we were at that age. “Say hello to my 12 year old self,” Fox posted to Facebook this morning, along with the adorably awkward photos. “I encourage you to admire my citrus/copper colored highlights (thanks Sun-in!) my braces, and my ever present sunburn. And yeah I’m brushing my eyebrows with a toothbrush in that one picture…” Plus, is that the most severe sunglasses tan we’ve ever seen in our life? If we could just see Megan with toothpaste dabbed on her zits, we couldfinally  die a happy death.

Now, we’re not saying baby Megan Fox isn’t beyond cute. That choker? Please. She would have dominated the last three rows on the bus, aka the cool kid rows. We would have dove out of our seat in the cafeteria if she’d so much as looked at us. But seeing as how the Friends With Benefits actress has always been known as the smokingest of babes, it melts our frozen hearts to see her at her most gawky. First Megan Fox’s pregnancy, than this. The girl has got our number.

[Photo: Facebook]

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16 And Pregnant Star Weston Gosa Arrested For DUI, The ‘Reality Teen Parent’ Curse Continues

Some people may be having a little too much fun during this holiday week. On July 4th, 16 and Pregnant baby daddy Weston Gosa got into a bit of a sticky situation behind the wheel. After crashing his car, this winner was arrested when police discovered that he was under the influence of prescription drugs. Though his mug shot is probably one of the most amusing ones we’ve come across in awhile, it falls among the many that 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom stars have consistently provided us.

It appears these shows’ casts just can’t seem to escape the po po and keep on flailing in legal hot water. For some of these young parents like Janelle Evans and Amber Portwood,  their trainwreck days seem far from over. (Portwood did recently choose a 5-year prison sentence over a stint in rehab soo she might be living the thug life for awhile). In light of the fact that so many of these stars have run into some trouble with the law, we have compiled their rap sheets and we gotta say, these teens do not mess around. From beating the bejesus out of their…well, really anyone…to getting DUI’s, these are some hot messes through and through.

Whitney Purvis: In March, 2012, this 16 and Pregnant season 1 celeb was arrested for stealing a pregnancy test from a Georgia Wal-Mart. She later announced that she was not pregnant, yet again. Thank god.

Joshua Rendon and Ebony Jackson-Rendon: This unstable 16 and Pregnant pair was arrested in September, 2011, facing felony charges of maintaining a drug premise and making unauthorized use of another’s property to abet a crime. They also faced misdemeanor charges of endangering the welfare of a minor (their 2-year-old daughter), possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance.  Though they subsequently lost custody of their child, they now claim they are ready for another baby. Hmm.

Aubrey Wolters: In July 2011, Aubrey was slapped with shoplifting charges and ordered to stay away from Wal-Mart for one year after she was caught stealing $29.66 worth of cosmetics from the store. Beware Wal-Mart: Wolters is free to enter the store this month. Let’s keep your hands where we can see them, Aubrey.

Kianna Randall: The 16 and Pregnant season 3 rebel was charged with one count of attempted burglary of a habitation and one count of attempted burglary of habitation-theft in August, 2011. This wasn’t a joking matter as attempted burglary of a habitation is a second degree felony in the state of Texas. Not cool, Randall.

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Katie Holmes’ Style Line Set To Drop At NY Fashion Week, Here’s 10 More Celebrity Designers

Katie Holmes is sticking to her passion for fashion through her very public divorce from Tom Cruise. So much so that a spokesperson from Holmes’ brand, Holmes & Yang, announced that they will be putting on a presentation during New York Fashion Week in September of this year. This is Holmes & Yang’s debut at New York Fashion Week and they will be showcasing their spring collection. It seems like more celebs than we can count have dabbled in the fashion industry along with being musical artists or actors. Gwen Stefani with her punk rock L.A.M.B line and of course Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen with their high fashion design line, The Row. Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Coco, and Victoria Beckham are also no strangers to the world of fashion. These multi-talented go-getters show their spunk, individuality, and sequins (of course, Coco) in their designs. Head down the gallery below to see what they’ve come up with for the catwalk!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Rihanna Is White Hot In Bazaar, Says She Won’t Let Anyone Get Close. We Can’t Imagine Why…

Rihanna Harper's Bazaar Cover

Rihanna‘s Bazaar cover is like a blast of air conditioning for your eyes, but not like an actual blast of air conditioning for your eyes, because that would probably sting like the devil. In addition to working it out in white silk and gold for the magazine’s photo shoot, the “Where Have You Been All My Life?” singer opens up about her love life. If you couldn’t guess, it’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from the nation’s most famous domestic abuse survivor…who subsequently had to hear all of us talk about her relationship decisions for the next three years. “I have been conservative in my love life,” RiRi explains. “It’s pretty much nonexistent. If I come across someone who I find really cool, I’ll hang out. But the minute I find that we’re getting too close I just — I don’t let people in.” Aw, this breaks our hearts, girl! Breaks our hearts and is completely understandable at the same time!

Read more…

by (@JordanRuntagh)

VH1 Celebrity Bikini Awards: Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and Beyonce Head Up The Pop Stars Edition

Bikini awards pop stars edition

Welcome back to the ever-popular and much beloved VH1 Celebrity Bikini Awards! Yes, it’s that time of year again, where we pit your favorite stripped down celebs against one another to see has the most bangin’ bikini bod of 2012. Happy summer, folks!

Pop singers are famous for giving us some of the best ear candy the world has to offer. But now they’re a treat for the eyes as well and the ears as we roll out the pop star edition of our patented Bikini Awards! We’ve got some of the biggest names in music strutting their stuff on the beach. Nicki Minaj is all business as she films her sizzling video for ‘Starships.’ But Rihanna, Beyonce and Alicia Keys are in casual mode, posting stripped down photos to their tumblrs, twitters and facebook. Jamie Lynn Spears ups the “aww” factor by posing with her adorable daughter Maddie, and LeAnn Rimes brings the “whoa” with her rock hard bod. British babes Geri Halliwell and Tulisa Contostavlos do the queen proud in their two-pieces, and LMFAO’s Redfoo, well…he’s just happy to be here. Check out the gallery below and cast your vote for the hottest pop star bikini bod of 2012. Polls close on July 15th at 11 p.m. ET!

[Photo: Twitter/Tumblr]

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