As we gear up for the release of Rock of Ages this week, we’ve been looking back at some of the trends the nostalgic musical so lovingly celebrates, like Malin Akerman’s sexy rocker-chick look and Mary J. Blige’s flashy jumpsuits. More than any one fashion, the movie reminds us of one big trend the late ’80s and early ’90s were famous for: the groupie. Not just the girls who flashed their goods from the audience or hung around by the tour buses, either — there were plenty of high-profile ladies who were eager for a backstage pass. And some of them got a lot more than a private concert in the bargain.
Hey everyone, get ready to feel super old! For most of us, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are pretty much frozen in our minds at around age 9, but the girls actually turn 26 years old today! So let’s all send out some hearty birthday wishes to the Olsen Twins. But whatever you do, don’t call them “the Olsen Twins.” If you do, you’re in big trouble mister! The duo have worked hard to shed their child-star past and forge their own individual identities, and being lumped together under the dreaded “T” word reportedly pisses them off.
They’ve sure come a long way from literally playing the same character on Full House! Mary-Kate and Ashley blossomed into teen tycoons, with an empire rumored to be worth well over a billion dollars! But there’s one thing that money can’t buy: a multi-decade retrospective of your cutest styles, from way back in that land called the 80s, all the way to now. Consider it our birthday present to you, ladies! Head on down to the gallery below and bask in the adorability and the “predictability.”
If we could devote all our time and energy to a site specifically dedicated to sick wheelies, boy would we! Is sickwheelies.com even available? (Note: good lord, it is! Quick, someone make our dreams come true!). Clearly the Jersey Shore cast is on the same page as we are, given how much pleasure Pauly D, Snooki and JWoww got out of the electric scooters they had while filming today. Can totally unnecessary Rascals and Jazzy carts become a thing, please? Walking is so over, as far as we’re concerned. Live in the now, people! Scooters are the new legs!
We’re assuming the scooters came into play after JWoww was injured in a bar brawl this weekend. At first we though pregnant Snooki must need a cart too, then we realized that doesn’t actually make sense. Does it? Snooki’s probably spending most of her time flopped on a beanbag chair anyway. We just hope that when we’re massively pregnant, we’ll get the opportunity to rip wheelies down the streets of Seaside. No, you’re right. Why just hope for something amazing…when we can start saving up for our very own pregnancy scooter today? You’re so smart, The Internet.
We’ve all been there before: you walk out of the house, completely certain your high-waisted white satin sea creature-themed hot pants will cover up your business, then all of a sudden you find yourself having to to bend over slightly. You guys know what we’re talking about! Selena Gomez certainly does, having stepped out in a pair of painfully short bottoms while promoting her new self-titled fragrance at Macy’s in New York today. Booty shorts? More like booty TOO-shorts! Are we right, or are we right? Seriously though, the inseam on those things has to be like .05 inches. How did Selena manage to get out of the car? And we don’t even have time to discus that matching starfish bikini top. There just aren’t enough hours in the day!
We guess Justin Bieber‘s lady really is committed to bringing the scandalousness in 2012, as her sexy Elle shoot and soaking wet perfume campaign suggested, though she’s drawing the line at starring in a film version of the salacious hit 50 Shades of Grey. “I don’t think so. I know I’m taking risks, but I don’t think I could do that!” Gomez told MTV. “That would be a little too much for me. I think someone older should do that part.” We’ll admit this booty shorts fail doesn’t look entirely intentional. What do you think of your minor wardrobe malfunction, Selena?
Leave it to Mama Monster to still look fab and fierce even with a huge black eye! Lady Gagaposted a pic to her Twitter today showing off her shiner, the result of an onstage mishap that happened this Sunday during a New Zealand concert. “Emerging from hours of sleep,” she wrote. “Still remiss if I should go outside, with this clonker I may be of questionable styling.” If you ask us, it just looks like some kind of funky eye shadow. Work it, Gaga!
For those of you just tuning in, a dancer accidentally gave Gags a whack with a metal pole right in the middle of “Judas.” Oh the betrayal! But ever the pro, Lady Gaga didn’t miss a note and kept right on singing. In fact, she finished the remaining 16 songs! “I want to apologize,” she reportedly told the crowd after the incident. “I did hit my head and I think I may have a concussion. But don’t you worry, I will finish this show.” The poor pop princess was indeed left with a concussion, in addition to her bruised left eye and cheek.
Despite the setback, Gaga hasn’t slowed down much, continuing on to Australia in order to bring her Born This Way Ball to her adoring aussie fans, many of whom have been sending her well wishes and good vibes. “Thank you so much for all the thoughtful messages,” she tweeted on Monday. “I feel a bit woozy but a little better everyday. Very happy to be in beautiful Australia.” Watch the whole freaky moment in the clip above. If it doesn’t prove that Lady Gaga is the hardest working gal in show-biz, then we don’t know what will!
Keep in mind that Kate Upton is only 20, so her “Before She Was Famous” photo might as well be an ultrasound. But what a hot ultrasound it is! If you were hoping to see the Sports Illustrated model rocking some major headgear and/or cystic acne, we have some bad news for you; The Gloss dug up a number of glamor shots from Upton’s distant teen modeling days, and they are all as sunny and lovely as Kate is today. They ballpark Kate as being between 15 and 17 in the photos, which is right when most of us were trying to learn how to apply makeup without looking like a deranged clown. Man, this is just like seeing flawless teen Heidi Klum all over again!
Of course, when it comes to models, they’re pretty much all beautiful since birth. That’s how you know they’re destined to wear clothes (or not wear) clothes for a living! It was inevitable that High School Kate would officially join our gallery of “before they were famous” model pics, but…any chance anyone has photos from her middle school years? If she ever had an ugly duckling phase, it would be then…and we need to see it immediately!
Lil’ Kim has long been an artist who likes to make headlines with her looks as much as her lyrics. Ever since she first broke out of the Junior M.A.F.I.A. to begin her solo career in 1996, she’s been dressing up, and down in the skimpiest of outfits, exaggerating her features with all sorts of dramatic makeup, and catching our eyes with a variety of hairstyles and wigs and colored contacts. All the while, she’s also been altering her face under the skin with a number of surgical procedures. So, when she showed up in West Hollywood on Saturday to perform for the L.A. Pride festival and looked more like a latter day Charo impersonator than a Brooklyn rapper, we shouldn’t have been surprised. And yet, we kinda were. Because that face, that leotard, that makeup … it just took our breath away. Anyway, take a look at Kim’s evolving look, from 1996 to today, just to prove to yourself that this was not an overnight transformation:
Coco has been very good to us here at VH1 Celebrity. Plus, we feel that her husband Ice-T could totally kick our ass. So when we found out that Cosmopolitancalled the lovely Ms. Austin “skanky,” it really rubbed us the wrong way. The magazine featured a picture of Coco walking her dogs in their “Sexy vs. Skanky” column, and they were less than kind in discussing her, errr, minimal attire. “Showing your pups while walking your dogs,” they snarked as they bestowed the skank label.
Coco took to her twitter last night and fired back at the fashion mag’s accusations. “Cosmo is always talkin crap about me,” she wrote. “Paparazzi took pics while I was at dog park! They think I’m skanky cuz I’m wearing a tank top?? So stupid,” Sticks and stones, Coco. Sticks and stones. But she’s not taking it sitting down and neither are we. We’re going to do the right thing and jump to defend Lady Coco’s honor! We’ve painstakingly assembled her 40 most glamorous styles of all time. Take that, Cosmo! It’s red carpet chic, in a way that only Coco can. We’re pretty sure you’ll enjoy. Head on down to the gallery below and see for yourself!
What’s hot, hard, and runs on Windows XP or higher? It’s robots of course! Our artificially intelligent friends have been heating up screens both large and small with their lab-crafted good looks for decades. They may not have feelings, but then again we’ve always been attracted to emotional unavailability. From Weird Science‘s Kelly LeBrock and Jude Law in A.I. to Jeri Ryan in Star Trek: Voyager and even that Svedka Vodka ad, you don’t have to be well versed in C++ or QBasic to appreciate the sizzling appeal of these machines!
Ridley Scott’s latest epic Prometheus opens wide today, starring Michael Fassbender as hunky android David. We haven’t seen it yet, but we think he’s definitely in the running for one of the hottest robots in pop culture history. But there are so many to choose from! Check out the gallery below for our list of the 20 sexiest robots of all time. With hot bots like these, who needs humans? Did we miss any? Disagree with our ranking? Let us know in the comments!
We’re going to be as delicate as possible when it comes to suggesting Megan Fox might be with child, as we wouldn’t want her to feel bad if we we’re wrong. One time a guy on the subway though we were pregnant and, long story short, we never wore an empire waist dress again. On the other hand, we have been hearing Megan Fox pregnancy rumors since at least April, if not before. On the other other hand, we’ve also been hearing Megan Fox pregnancy rumors on and off for the last three years, so honestly we didn’t give the gossip much thought. New photos of the Friends With Kids star and her hubby Brian Austin Green walking around L.A. today, however…well, we’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
Now, we’re not saying that plenty of women don’t have adorable belly bumps that come exclusively from consuming party subs; we’re just saying we don’t usually touch and rub said sandwich bellies like they contain, let’s say, a tiny little person inside. At least in public, anyway. Check out the rest of our Megan photos after the jump, and let us know what you think. Note: we probably already know what you think.