Bravo to Robert Pattinson and MTV News for an excellent interview last night that managed to include neither food nor awkward questions about his love life. “This isn’t Oprah or Dr. Phil,” Josh Horowitz promised, probably disappointing all of the other gossip sites of the world. Which is why we just know that Rob’s answers to questions both silly and serious about Cosmopolis and the rest of his career are going to be picked apart for clues about how he feels about Kristen Stewart. We’re going to make a preemptive strike here and list those statements, just so any willful misinterpreters know we’re onto them.
1. Rob has shot a gun “many times, just recently.” Is he working off frustration and picturing Rupert Sanders’ face at the shooting range? Um, OR he is preparing to play an army interrogator in Mission: Blacklist and any other action movie he wants to do after that.
2. “I’ve been writing a lot of [music] recently.” Oh, the breakup must have inspired him to write all sorts of sad songs! OR, his crazy busy movie schedule is finally letting up enough so that he has the free time to return to his other passion. Read more…
Though fans waited with bated breath for Rob Pattinson to spill the beans about his relationship (or breakup) with Kristen Stewart on the Cosmopolis press tour (we didn’t actually think he would, right?), one thing has been for certain, there’s been a whole lot more going in his mouth than coming out. After both The Daily Show and Good Morning America provided Rob edible scapegoats to avoid discussing his personal life, our wheels are turning about what tasty diversion MTV.COM could possibly provide him for tonight’s interview. In fact, what would other TV shows possibly serve up as a vehicle for Rob’s notorious (and darling) rambling? Our ideas below.
Psst. PSST! Hey. Hey Rob! Your fly’s down. Robert Pattinson has been making the rounds these past few days, going for a full media blitz in the wake of the Category 500 sh-tstorm surrounding his breakup with Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart. On the surface it’s merely to publicize his upcoming Cosmopolis film, but the romantic split is obviously on everyone’s mind. So far he’s hit up The Daily Show, GMA, and last night he attended TimesTalks alongside director David Cronenberg. With so many places to be and so many people to talk to, it’s no surprise that you get kind of fried and little things start to fall through the cracks. Like zipping your pants, for example.
But one thing he did stay zipped up about was the drama with Kristen. New York Times journalist David Carr broached the subject during the live interview, which was also broadcast online. Comparing Robsten to the English royal family, Carr asked “So if you and Kristen have trouble it’s like Charles and Di having trouble?” To be fair, Rob himself had brought up the subject of monarchy, blaming American’s addition to fame on its lack of a royal family. So Carr took the opportunity to swoop in with the K-Stew question, and reaction from the crowd was not kind. According to the Daily News, the room filled with boos and shouts of “Next question!” were heard. Rob seemed caught off guard and gave a lengthy pause before responding “Well, uh, Charles…No, I wouldn’t go that far.”
On the other side of the relationship ring, Kristen is apparently seething over her portrayal in the media. Sources tell TMZ that while the actress obviously feels intense guilt and remorse, she’s furious that Rupert Sanders isn’t facing anywhere near the scrutiny and criticism that she has dealt with in the past few weeks. With rumors of being kicked out of a Snow What And The Huntsman sequel, K-Stew is concerned about her reputation and feels that she’s being punished far to heavily for a mistake. Although she’s taken responsibility for her actions, friends say Kristen is angry that Rupert -who is 19-years older with a wife and children- isn’t being painted as a bigger villain. Friends like Jodie Foster have stepped up to show their support, but Kristen is reportedly (and rightfully) tired of taking the heat for a mistake that was caused by two people.
Imagine, if you would, a time before we ever knew that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were a real-life couple. A time when they were fresh new faces to most of us, the perfect embodiment of characters that had previously lived only in our heads after we’d become obsessed with Stephenie Meyer‘s Twilight books. A time when it was just exciting enough to imagine how much passion they’d bring to the screen as Edward and Bella. Ooof. It’s hard, we know, but it seems like we need to go back to those days and completely separate what we know of the real-life drama between Kristen and Robert. We — and probably the folks at Summit Entertainment — hope that these newly released stills from Breaking Dawn – Part 2 will remind us all that the fictional Edward and Bella are still going to get their happily ever after. That is, of course, after they gather up all their special allies and face down the threat of the Volturi who are convinced that Renesmee represents the ultimate violation of vampire law. With the exception of the photo of Bella showing her daughter her new locket and a pic of Meyer in that legendary field of flowers, these pics aren’t entirely new; they all debuted in the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. But they’re new to our site, and we’re going to enjoy every last pixel of them like they’re our very own pints of Cinnamon Toast Crunch-flavored Ben and Jerry’s. (OMG, B&J, you need to make that a thing.)
Robert Pattinson may or may not be back on the market, but if you ladies had a master plan to woo him with chilled dairy product – restrategize. The Daily Show‘s Jon Stewart meant well, serving up the indulgence of choice for many going through relationship turbulence, and Rob politely ate a few melty scoops. What may not have been apparent to the untrained (er, anyone not scouring the footage while creating GIFs) was Rob’s arduous effort to get that B&J’s down his perfectly-stubbled gullet. We’re still unclear whether it was the flavor at hand – Karamel Sutra – or if he just prefers his desserts in loquat pie form (tear).
Bonus GIF of Rob blaming his “Double Spanx” below:
Long before that Kristen Stewart thing we don’t want to talk about, and even as the steady stream of Breaking Dawn – Part 2 promo pics and teasers began to flow, Robert Pattinson was on a mission. Not to alienate the Twilight fans who made him a household name, but to reel in a whole new audience as well — the film-critic types, the artsy folk, the Wall Street types who’d never be caught dead watching sparkly vampires — with his sexy, weird David Cronenberg film Cosmopolis. We saw it in his European magazine interviews, his Cannes appearances and, of course, in the sneak peeks of the film itself.
And though the rest of us got pretty distracted by his Twilight-entangled love-life woes, the past two days are proof that Pattinson will not be sidetracked from his goal. He gamely showed up for the New York premiere of the movie last night, and was an amazing sport for his appearance on The Daily Show. He knew we’d all tune in to see what he’d say about Kristen, and yet he managed to end the interview on his terms, challenging Twilight fans to help make Cosmopolis a huge success at the box office. And this morning, he and Cronenberg took part in the time-honored tradition of people from all sorts of walks of life ringing the opening bell of the New York Stock Exchange. Sure, there are probably plenty of Twi-hards buying and selling stocks and bonds on Wall Street, but it’s also a big push to make Rob’s own stock rise as an actor who can appeal to all kinds of crowds. Also, he made his typically adorable range of faces throughout the appearance. Enjoy!
I need to preface this post with a bit of my own personal back story: I went through a serious Twilight fan-fiction phase for about a year, beginning in the first trimester of my pregnancy, leading into the months my daughter was a newborn. It is all Twitter’s fault, of course — I saw people tweeting about something called MOTU and then I Googled it and discovered Master of the Universe, the fan fiction story that would later go on to become the U.K.’s bestselling book of all time (!!!) Fifty Shades of Grey.
But it was the story I read after that, as I lay in bed at two in the morning with unbearable acid reflux (never have kids, you guys) that did me in and solidified my addiction. The University of Edward Masen, the tale of a volatile, dark professor, his impressionable young graduate student and their shared past and passion for Dante, totally owned me for a summer. The story is titillating and romantic and filled with angst but with an academic twist, as it explores Renaissance art and literature at length.
The author of said story, Sylvain Reynard, eventually e-published it as two books (Gabriel’s Inferno and Gabriel’s Rapture) with the independent publisher Omnific, and just recently signed a substantial deal to publish the books with Penguin Group’s Berkley imprint. I’ve always been intrigued by Renard, a private figure who has spent much of his time using his fan-fiction fame to promote numerous charities. I was thrilled he agreed to answer some questions via email about publishing Gabriel’s Inferno, the fan fiction community, the Fifty Shades phenomenon, his charitable work and the possibility of his stories one day making it to the big screen.
Here’s a rumor that’s sure to spark some serious debate, but we just wanted to pass it along. Robert Pattinson is reportedly considering a romantic reconciliation with Kristen Stewart. Rumors are surfacing that he is over his anger and seriously considering reuniting with his Twilight co-star and (ex?) girlfriend after she was caught cheating on him with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders.
“Rob was super angry for the first couple of weeks. Angry at Kristen for ruining what they had, angry at her for the public embarrassment, angry at Rupert,” a friend of Rob’s told Radar Online. ”But he’s starting to wind down and really think about what he’s going to do regarding his relationship with Kristen. He goes back and forth.” As usual in times of heartbreak, RPattz has been going to his friends for solace and support. Water for Elephants co-star Reese Witherspoon has let him stay in her Ojai vacation home to plan his next move/listen to “Everybody Hurts” on repeat.
Yet despite all of their help, his friends might be confusing him further by giving him contradicting advice about what to do regarding Kristen. “There’s definitely some friends who think he should just move on from Kristen,” the source continued. “But then there are others who still think Rob and Kristen really have a special connection and want him to give her another chance. He has a lot to think about and hasn’t decided either way right now.” A complicated situation indeed, and that’s without all of the stuff we don’t know about what their relationship was like in private. What do you think he should do? Let us know in the poll below. And hang in there, Rob!
We are torn as to how to interpret Condon’s words. The cynic in us could read that as: He thinks their entire relationship was staged, just for the benefit of the Twilight franchise. Or he could be saying actors who play onscreen couples don’t belong together, so their breakup is a good thing. Third: People need to back off and be reminded that their on- and off-screen love affair are two separate things, and our only business is with the former. And, OK, maybe what he said after that supports our last theory:
“Both of these actors gave heart and soul to the Twilight movies, not only during shooting, but also by navigating so graciously the whole life-in-a-fishbowl aspect of the phenomenon,” he said. “Above all they have always shown great respect for the fans who made these movies such a success. Now it’s time that some of that respect be returned to them.”
Either way, this other quote from the issue is super depressing. At a roundtable interview, Pattinson talked about how annoyingly rational Edward remained through any crisis. And when Stewart in turn asked him what he learned from that, he replied, “Don’t be pragmatic. Be an emotional idiot.” Oh, dear.
Today has been blissfully free of disturbing Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart news. Radar insists that Kristen has been banned from the Cosmopolis red carpet, but that sounds pretty silly to us, since we’re pretty sure that is the last place on Earth she’d ever want to appear. Instead, we have the above video from last night’s Conan.
“I don’t know if you follow the news at all but there’s this actress, Kristen Stewart, OK. She goes by KStew,” Will Ferrell begins, on the verge of melodramatic tears. “And she had a boyfriend, right? Robert Patterson. He’s RPass. And she cheated on him. And they’re broken up. They’re not going to get back together ever. And what they had was so special, Conan. You don’t even know what they had. They were in love and she just threw it all away. I don’t know if there’s anything I could have done to prevent it. And … I don’t know what it means for the Twilight franchise. I just don’t know.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be fine,” Conan says, attempting to calm his guest.
“It’s not going to be fine! Ever! It’s never going to be fine. What they had was so special. You would never know! … She is a trampire!”
We find it rather funny ourselves, mostly due to our own Robsten fatigue. But what we really want to know is how you fans feel? Are you ready for this kind of comic relief after all the drama? Or do you just feel like this is another blow to the nature of your devotion? Sound off on Twitter or in the comments below.