“Drinks Tonight? Sorry… I Have Plans

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I’m not saying this is what I watched on Saturday night instead of going out for drinks with my “friends.” But I am saying that no one asked me to go for drinks on Saturday night and so this is what I watched.

It was one of the better Saturday nights I’ve had in a while.

Opposite Of Breaking News: Lindsay Lohan Quits Smoking

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Most people have no issue with Lindsay Lohan whatsoever in that they don’t know her or have anything invested in how her life turns out. But, even for the small portion of the population that actually cares, it’s hard to imagine that anyone’s issue with her is that she smokes. Nonetheless, this is a thing that happened today. From TMZ:

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ she’s continuing on the path to a healthier life by kicking her nicotine habit … cold turkey no less. We’re told Lindsay quit about a week ago and now works out with a trainer every morning.

Haha. Okay, Lindsay Lohan. This would be kind of like if someone stole stuff, couldn’t hold down a job, constantly got drunk with her mom, and then said “okay, I’ll quit smoking.” It’s scarily similar to that.

Just Tracy Morgan Shirtless With A Lightsaber

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Here’s Tracy Morgan doing what he does best: Being shirtless while wielding a plastic lightsaber. At least, we assume it’s plastic, we’d be no more or less surprised if Tracy Morgan owned a custom working lightsaber and weilded it while shirtless next to the East River.

This continues to beg the perpetual question: What would Tracy Morgan have to be doing in a photo for you to be like “Whoa, why is Tracy Morgan doing that in that photo?” instead of “Haha, of course Tracy Morgan’s doing that. What’s for breakfast, honey?” (In this scenario “honey” is your dog who you pretend cooks you breakfast.)

If you wish to ruin the Tracy illusion, click after the jump:

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Source Says Mila Kunis Is Not Justin Timberlake’s Friend With Benefits

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Just because you star in a movie called Friends With Benefits doesn’t mean you are friends with benefits in real life. That’s what a source who “knows” Mila Kunis is saying, ever since it was reported that she’s the reason her co-star Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel split.
 Sure, Timberlake and Kunis appeared to hit it off while filming and Kunis also broke up with longtime boyfriend Macaulay Culkin recently. But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Can’t two attractive, funny people just be friends?

If you’ll recall, Kunis actually seemed unfazed when regaling us with the tale of how she saw Timberlake’s bits and pieces and how “uncomfortable” it made her, so we kinda think nothing is going on with them. Then again, other sources report that Timberlake was not only obsessed with Kunis while they were filming, but that he also hooked up with Olivia Munn and Rihanna over the past year, so we have no idea what to believe.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Report: Mel Gibson And Oksana To Drop Dueling Lawsuits

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Whether Mel Gibson pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery on Friday to protect his kids from the embarrassment of a trial or save his film career, it’s pretty clear he’ll go apocalpyto on anyone who tries to drag him back into court. When word got out over the weekend that ex-girlfriend/battery victim Oksana Grigorieva was planing a civil suit against Gibson, TMZ sources made it clear that he would return the gesture in kind, with Mel counter-suing for extortion.

While it’s noteworthy that the state has yet to charge Oksana for allegedly demanding millions to keep violent, racist audio tapes of Mel from the public, Mel was also only charged for the slapping incident he’d previously confessed to—not for Oksana’s more dramatic claims of abuse. With Mel allegedly uninterested in settling out of court, even hoping to remove Oksana’s custody of their daughter Lucia, it looks like that long, drawn-out court case he wanted to avoid could happen after all.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Florida Woman Gets Drunk, Pulls Out Teeth, Looks Like Ann Burrell From The Food Network

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This is the story of two women. The first is a woman named Tina Masta from Naples, Florida who “got drunk, stripped naked, pulled out her own teeth and then hurled them into a canal. When cops arrived, [she] even asked them for a pair of pliers to remove more of her molars.” The second woman is Ann Burrell who is a chef with a strong personality on the Food Network. These two women have little in common other than the fact that when the former gets pull-out-teeth-drunk, she looks a bit like a falling apart version of the latter.

This is basically pre-hab for Ann Burrell.

Drunk lady story from Splash.

Hunger Games Casting: Are Jennifer Lawrence And Josh Hutcherson Playing Katniss And Peeta?

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Every time we think we have the cast of The Hunger Games figured out (in our head, at least), some new, young actors pop up as the frontrunners to play the lead roles, throwing us off our game completely. First we pegged Emily Browning as the perfect Katniss, then we saw Hailee Steinfeld and thought she totally looked the part, but now it’s rumored that Winter’s Bone star Jennifer Lawrence has Katniss in the bag. At 20, Lawrence is four years older than 16-year-old Katniss. Still, we’d rather her be too old than too young since Katniss is mature and pretty hardened for her age.

It was also reported this weekend that The Kids Are All Right star Josh Hutcherson wants to portray Peeta. We love this rumor, mostly because Hutcherson is the first male actor we’ve heard of who has geeked out over the source material. He told EW, “I love Peeta. The character is so much who I am—self deprecating, a people person. And he’d be such a great character to play! Like in the third book? Oh my God!”

Well that just made us love him a little more. More than Alex Pettyfer, who is also supposedly in the running to play Peeta, but won’t commit until he sees a script. So do you like these new casting developments or do you guys still have favorite actors that aren’t being discussed? Name your picks!

[Photos: Getty Images]

Adorableness: K-Fed Coaches Sean Preston’s Baseball Team

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As easy as it sometimes is to poke fun of Kevin Federline, these pictures of him coaching son Sean Preston‘s Little League team make us melt a little and want to take back all the harsh words we’ve had for him in the past. It’s always kind of nice to see celebs doing “normal” stuff with their kids, isn’t it? Britney Spears and Jason Trawick were also in the stands for the game, but reportedly Spears and Federline didn’t speak to each other. Still, nice that they were all there for Sean.

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[Photos: Splash News Online]

Reminder: This Is The Final Shot In Encino Man

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True Story: Saturday night, I was walking home from a bar at around 4:30 am with three friends, and when we were 3 blocks from my place, a car suddenly pulled over and two early-20s-looking kids hopped out with wooden baseball bats and yelled at my friend Ryan “That’s the guy who jumped us!” and sprinted after after him up the street. Ryan instantly ran and managed to get away, while my friend Matt kept yelling after the guys to calm them down – after about 15 frantic seconds, the bat guys realized that they were after the wrong guy, stopped, and got back into their car and drove away without another word.

We then all returned to my apartment, confused beyond belief and trying to make sense out of the incident, and while we were sitting there still reeling from the dreamlike sequence, I flipped on the tv and the movie “Encino Man” was on and in the very final minute. Literally five minutes after fearing for our friend’s life in a shocked, surreal haze, we then proceeded to watch this exact sequence:

Then, to complete the evening, THE FINAL SCREEN IN THE MOVIE:

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Freaks And Geeks and Undeclared Casts Reunite In LA

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We know school is important to you, James Franco, but we think you’re going to regret not attending your high school reunion—at least the reunion of the Freaks & Geeks and Undeclared casts that went down this weekend at the Paley Center. After all, if Jason Segel and Linda Cardellini could both make it, despite everyone knowing Forgetting Sarah Marshall was inspired by their break-up, then anyone could could risk an awkward moment or two. Then again, maybe they wouldn’t have been so open about Franco’s “method” acting, including a crew-scaring moment where he threw on-screen lover Busy Phillips on the ground (in character). “He is the only one among all of you to be nominated for an Academy Award,” noted show creator Judd Apatow.

See photos of the cult comedy casts in the gallery below—We almost forgot that Amy Poehler was Undeclared‘s Head R.A.!

[Photos: Getty Images]

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