Michael Buble’s Home Broken Into During His Wedding

by (@missmuttoo)

We were dancing around to “Haven’t Met You Yet” in celebration of Michael Buble getting married to Luisana Lopilato, and then this came to our attention. Buble’s Argentine home was burglarized while he was getting hitched! How horrible is that? Buble and his new bride weren’t in residence at the time because they were in a resort outside Buenos Aires…preparing to say their I do’s. Hear that, a—holes?

TMZ reports that when Michael and Luisana came back they found that the house had been broken into and apparently, the thieves had snapped the alarm systems and blocked the cameras. It hasn’t yet been reported what exactly was stolen from the home. The new couple aren’t letting this rain on their parade, thought. Luisana has told the press, “I will not let this ruin the happiest day of my life”. That’s the spirit! You married one of the most romantic dudes on the planet. He’ll make it up to you!

Justin Bieber Flashes Some Abs While Playing “Futbol”

by (@missmuttoo)

If you look really really really closely, you might just see a burgeoning ab or two! Justin Bieber flashed some midsection while playing footie outside Madrid, while touring Spain. It’s Europe, not America so we’re going with football and not soccer, okay! Anyhow…Bieberito, being the showman that he is, couldn’t help playing up to the crowd by lifting his shirt. He got lucky here, because you know that could cause a riot, like the one Bieber almost caused in Liverpool by just showing up.

Post-game, Justin tweeted, “just got done playing soccer aka (futbol) with @itsryanbutler” proving he came out unscathed. Take a gander at his athletic prowess in the gallery below, but only if you can handle it!

[Photos: Splash News Online]

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The Rossdale Kids Have Fun With Face Paint

by (@missmuttoo)

What’s up with little Kingston Rossdale? Our favorite rockstar celebrity kiddo looks a bit out of sorts, bordering on belligerent. Or maybe he’s just getting into character with all that ominous face paint on? Can we just say how much we love parents Gavin and Gwen for letting their kids run around with gook on their faces. Little Zuma also got into the act, with what looks like a tarantula painted on his cheek. That smile just melts us! Mom Gwen’s got her own version of face paint on—she stepped out in full hair and make-up!

[Photos: Splash News Online]

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Abigail Breslin Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

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It’s been a while since we’ve laid eyes on child acting prodigy Abigail Breslin. And it seems the young actress has spent her awkward puberty years locked up somewhere, as these photos prove:

She’s busy filming the movie New Year’s Eve with Sarah Jessica Parker, who we assume is playing her Mom. I mean, they might be daughter/Mom in real life judging by these pics. The girl is only 14 and already looks more put together than myself. But I can’t stay furious at her!! (Slightly untrue.)

They kind of look like the promotional poster for Oxygen’s brand new Trenchcoat Mafia series. (Not a real thing.)

Another pic ahead…

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M. Night Shyamalan Casts Will & Jaden Smith In Latest Attempt To Get Made Fun Of A Lot

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Even the most benefit-of-the-doubt-giving bloggers walking this internet wasteland are pretty much prepared to make fun of everything M. Night Shyamalan does at this point, but even in our wildest easy-joke fantasies, we couldn’t have dreamt up an instantly dumber sounding movie than M. Night’s actual next project:

Will Smith and his son, Jaden, are teaming up for an M. Night Shyamalan sci-fi adventure!

The 42-year-old actor and his 12-year-old son will star in a story set 1000 years in the future. “the film centers on a young boy who navigates an abandoned Earth to save himself and his estranged father after their ship crashes,” The Wrap explains.

“The chance to make a scary, science-fiction film starring Jaden and Will is my dream project,” Night said in a statement.

Thanks for the softball, M. Night! Everyone on the internet ready? Aaaaaaaaaand, GO!

Behold The Hunger Games Cast

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Today’s Hunger Games casting announcement has set Twitter ablaze with mixed opinions and heavy doubts. Many Hunter Parrish-lovin’ HG fans are scratching their heads and cursing the producers’ decision to cast the talented but arguably too short Josh Hutcherson in the role of Peeta. And Liam Hemsworth has rarely been present on the countless dream cast shortlists.

Our initial disappointment left us with no choice but to take to Photoshop and get these underdogs Seam’d up and alongside our Katniss. The conclusion? Not too shabby. We’ll admit these guys aren’t who we pictured while reading the series, but after a little hair dye, contacts and tanning, we’re starting to see it. Plus, we all know there are techniques for embellishing an actor’s height onscreen. Hello, Tom Cruise!

What do you think, HG fans? Do Hutch and Hems fit the bill?

Snooki Brings The Pain, Backflips During Wrestlemania

by (@hallekiefer)

Anyone else think some sweet backflip into body slam action really would have jazzed up this past season of Jersey Shore? Snooki’s Wrestlemania match has us day-dreaming about all the possibilities. Ronnie and Sammi break into their seventeenth fight of the day? Snooki suddenly does handsprings into the room and breaks them apart. The Snitchuation starts gossiping again? Suddenly he’s getting his larynx crushed by a tiny, orange elbow. It’s the future of reality TV.

Capturing greased-up Amazons in a head lock isn’t the only way the tiny brazed goddess is making headlines this week. It recently came to light that both Snooki and Toni Morrison were hired to speak at Rutgers university…with Snooki earning $2,000 than the Nobel laureate. “I don’t know her, and I don’t care.” Morrison claims, though we aren’t giving up on a Morrison/Snooks rivalry for season four of Jersey Shore. Seriously, anything to distract us from Ronnie and Sammi!

Jews Make Passover Video, Embarrass All Other Jews

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As a young Jewish lady who goes to temple from time to time to worship and maybe meet a nice man who doesn’t look like a serial killer (my type, p.s.), I try to do my part to support the Jewish arts. Which is why I’m torn about this video, celebrating one of the best Jewish holidays, Passover. Passover’s a great holiday! You get to drink wine with your family no matter what age you are, are encouraged to read a staged monologue in front of others, and get to smear lamb’s blood all over your front door. (How did you guys celebrate?) A few years ago, an old man’s pants fell down at the Seder my parents and I went to in Miami. Basically, it’s a cahrayzayyy time for Jews!

Then this happens. (Note: Tone change.) A group of well-meaning Jewish people with a love for music puts together a Passover Jam set to Miley Cyrus’ “Party In The USA.” It’s called “Best Seder in the USA.” Hmm, what are some nice things I can say about it? It has pretty good production values. There’s a pretty well-cast Matzah Man with some sweet moves. An excellent Bubbe cameo.

On the other hand, it makes me want to “Brooks Was Here” myself out of self-hatred and embarrassment. Which, isn’t that the Jewish way?? To celebrate while also loathe? I’m sure the star of School Ties Brendan Fraser would certainly agree.

In conclusion, if you are Jewish, watch this video at your own risk. Unless you are over 50 or related to the star of this video, in which case, BUCKLE UP: You’re about to fall in love.

I really, really hope this video gets cross-posted on my favorite Jewish gossip blog “Oh Lo They Didn’t.” I’m also curious if non-Jews watching this video find it cute or “Let’s Banish Them From The Planet For Real This Time”-y.

Ahead, as a BONUS! We bring you last year’s Passover Song set to Will.I.Am’s “I Gotta Feelin” from the same dude. Both videos brought to you by JewishTreats.org.

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Will And Jaden Smith To Reteam For M. Night Shyamalan Sci-Fi Movie

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It’s too late for an April Fool’s joke, right? Columbia is really going forward with an M. Night Shyamalan movie starring Will and Jaden Smith? A movie about a boy in the year 3000 trying to save his dad in the year 3000 after their spaceship crashes on a previously abandoned Earth in the year 3000? “The chance to make a scary, science-fiction film starring Jaden and Will is my dream project,” says Shyamalan in the press release, which is surprising, considering Jaden was a year old when The Sixth Sense came out.

Though it’s also surprising Smith would sign up to work with Shyamalan after the critical drubbing his recent films have received (remember M. Night’s “scary, science fiction film” with Mark Wahlberg, The Happening?), the plot certainly sounds up his alley. All of the Fresh King’s recent films have had him heartbroken and isolated from the everyday world, whether due to unfortunate circumstances (Seven Pounds, The Pursuit Of Happyness) or sci-fi drama (Hancock, I Am Legend). Crash landing on the ruins of Earth with no one but Jaden for company? How could Will resist?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Rosie O’Donnell Feels Chris Brown’s Pain

by (@hallekiefer)

A lot of people claim that the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident isn’t anyone’s business except their own. Whether or not you agree on that point, we can all agree on one thing: it is definitely none of Rosie O’Donnell‘s beeswax. Rosie On’Donnell defended Chris Brown on her Sirius show Rosie Radio this morning, arguing “I just don’t know why this kid seems to be held to a different standard than anyone else.” O’Donnell’s statement seems to imply that there is someone on the planet who could have pulled off Chris Brown’s GMA meltdown without the world giving him or her the extreme side-eye. Unless Rosie is just pointing out that the 6 billion non-famous people on Earth would have been straight-up arrested for shattering a window with a chair. In which case yeah, there is a double standard.

O’Donnell went so far as cast blame on GMA anchor Robin Roberts for asking Brown questions about his domestic abuse of Rihanna. “I felt mildly angry at Robin Roberts. I felt like writing her and going: ‘Can you take a look at this again and see if maybe you find — in any way — your responsibility in this?” Rosie said.  O’Donnell also likened Brown’s rage to the frustration she felt during her tumultuous stint on another day-time talk show: “Part of me wanted to take a chair and throw it through the window at The View after all that happened.” Somehow we think talking about hurling furniture while a panicky Barbara Walter screams in the background isn’t going to help anyone at this point.  Maybe save your comments for a more appropriate time, Rosie. Like, perhaps never.

[Photo: Getty Images/]