Parody Comes True: Akira Remake Casting All-White Actors

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The long-rumored live-action Hollywood remake of the 1988 Japanese Anime film Akira is beginning to take shape, and the actors on the short list for the two lead roles — Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy, Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake, and Joaquin Phoenix — all have onnnne tiny thing in common: They’re all somewhat not Japanese:

The film would take place in “Neo-New York” instead of Neo Tokyo, but the main characters would retain their original names, Shotaro Kaneda and Tetsuo Shima. This wouldn’t be the first time Hollywood has de-Asianized a project, and frankly, it was kind of predictable.

How predictable? Three years ago, a 90-second animated parody called The American Akira hit the ‘netwebz and got over 1 million views, and it turns out, this parody pretty much exactly predicted the direction this film was headed (video after the jump):

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Cowboys And Aliens Are The Peanut Butter And Chocolate Of Action Flicks

by (@hallekiefer)

We know what you’re thinking: cowboys fighting aliens? However, the same thing must have been said of the first person who mixed chocolate and peanut butter together. Now we have Reese’s peanut butter cups, and the world would cease to function if they somehow ceased to exist.  Based on a comic book series by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg, the Cowboys And Aliens trailer seems to ponder the age-old question: what if alien invaders tried to take over the Wild Wild West? Given that it stars Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig and a fresh-from-Tron Olivia Wilde, we’re assuming no creature is going get away with any probing without losing an arm…or a tentacle.

However, don’t feel like you know what’s going to happen just because you’ve seen E.T. and True Grit back to back. Earlier this month director Jon Favreau says the Cowboys And Aliens plot twists are very deliberately going to be kept from the audience. “They tend to be more intrigued by something that holds a sense of mystery, where you feel like you are getting to experience something new and not just fulfilling a check list of the trailer that you saw when you go to see the movie,” Favreau says of potential moviegoers. The only genre mash-up we’d like better then this one would would be a zombie movie mixed with, oh, we don’t know, a romance set in 19th century England. Oh wait, that’s already coming out in 2013!

The Twilight Cast: 25 Pics Of The Way They Were

by (@katespencer)

Memoriesssss…like the corners of my mind…No, our eyes aren’t watery – we are straight up CRYING today, because the shooting of Breaking Dawn is officially over. You know what that means, right? No more Twilight movies in production! Ever! Guises…it’s OVER. Okay, so maybe it’s more like the beginning of the end, but we’re still feeling emotional and nostalgic. Some memories we’ve reflected on today as we’ve looked back on three magical years together:

  • A time when Robert Pattinson was just “that guy with the hair” to us. How naive we were.
  • Nikki and Kristen‘s hand-holding BFF-ship (oh, how times change).
  • Cathy Hardwicke just being Cathy! Kooky ol’ Cathy.
  • Comic Con! Kristen wore flip flops!
  • The 2008 MTV VMAS – the hottest the cast has ever looked on a red carpet, ever.
  • Rachelle LaFevre…so beautiful, so missed. Er, what – are we being dramatic?
  • The evolution of everyone’s red carpet style. Yes, there was a time when Ashley wore flip flops on carpets and Rob wore all black suits, and oh, they looked adorable.
  • Taylor Lauter, pre-abs.
  • Edi Gathegi and Cam Gigandet, two of our fave dudes (with the best last names) from the first film who left us too soon. RIP Laurent and James.
  • Oregano who?

We dug through a ton of photos today to bring you some of our favorites from the fall of 2008, when Twilight was just being released and the cast had yet to be propelled into mega-fame. Think of it as a Twilight 2008 yearbook, with this as our sign-off: It’s so hard 2 say goodbye 2 yesterday.

Sniff.

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[Photo: GettyImages]

$9 Million Will Buy You Donna Martin’s Sex House

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Good news for the world’s richest Beverly Hills 90210 fans: The house where Donna Martin lost her virginity is for sale, and it’s only going for $9 million! Donna Martin, played of course by Tori Spelling, lost her v-card to David Silver, played by Brian Austin Green after years of withholding her precious flower. It was a tender, candlelit moment in a four-poster bed that ends up looking like a condom PSA, but it was a milestone for old Donna, and for anyone who grew up watching the show. The building where Donna (and best friend Kelly Taylor) lived is actually located in Hermosa Beach, CA, and is being marketed as “the 90210 house.” So if you have a spare $9m lying around and want to be known as the crazy super-fan who bought the 90210 house, this might be the thing for you. Personally, we’re holding out for Jim and Cindy Walsh’s Spanish-style ranch to come on the market.

Just for old time’s sake, you can watch the video of Donna and David doin’ it in the beach house after the jump if you can handle/stomach it.

[Photos: Daily Mail/Getty Images]

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World’s Biggest Pac-Man Board Is World’s Biggest Waste Of Time

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Remember that one day when Google’s logo was a playable Pac-Man board and U.S. work productivity for that day instantly dropped 8 billion percent, prolonging the current recession by an additional 15 years (statistical fact)? That was fun!

Now we can prolong that financial devastation with The World’s Biggest Pac-Man Board, a massive playable conglomeration of hundreds of unique, user-generated Pac-Man boards all connected to form one giant neverending level. If you’re looking to start your weekend early, or to enter a yellow and blue trance world for an indefinite amount of time, click the pic below to play:

You can select “Play For Fun” to play without signing in, or sign in with your Facebook account to play for, I don’t know, the pros? Either way, Pac-Man forever and whatnot.

Byeeee, people who clicked on that! Next time we see you, you’ll have a long white beard and be confused by society’s flying holo-cars.

(via Gorillamask)

90′s Flashback! Classic Fashion From Scream Premieres Past

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While everyone from Matthew Lillard to Emma Roberts attended this week’s Scream 4 premiere, it still felt like something was missing. It wasn’t until we checked out photos from the olden days that we realized what was wrong. Sure, they’d found all the old stars, but where was their wild nineties fashion! We don’t want David Arquette in a sharp suit—we want him dressed like a “pop-punk-ska” bass player! There were no trenchcoats worn with short skirts, no parachute pants, and not a single cornrowed Melissa Joan Hart to be found anywhere. They don’t just make Scream movies like they used to, they don’t make premieres like they used to!

See photos of fine ’90s fashion from your favorite Scream stars—plus celebrity pals like Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston and The Artist Formerly Known As Puff Daddy—in the gallery below.

[Photos: WireImage/FilmMagic]

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Christina Aguilera’s Divorce Finalized Today

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Any shred of hope the world had for Christina Aguilera‘s five-year-old marriage to Jordan Bratman is gone: The pair finalized their divorce in court this morning. Aguilera filed for divorce back in October and, after a required six-month waiting period (which, for so many reasons, must have seemed like the roughest six months of her life), a judge finalized the request today.

As you already know, Aguilera didn’t need an official divorce to start shacking up with her new beau, Matthew Rutler, he moved in to her California home before Bratman had even gotten a chance to move out. Aguilera and Bratman plan to share custody of their 3-year-old, Max.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Rumors We Love: The Hills Cast Re-Grouping For The City?

by (@katespencer)

Yeah, we realize this is probably a pipe dream thought up in the dark corners of a dusty tabloid basement, but still, a girl can dream! Zap2It is alleging that our friends at MTV are gathering up the gang from The Hills and shipping them off to New York, to shoot some sort of re-do of The City.

YES PLEASE. As much as we loathe to admit it, we are are die-hard Hills fans, Though we never quite took to Whitney Port‘s clique on The City. Olivia Pal-yucko, you know? But the thought of combining Kristin, Lo, Steph and friends (seen above with Hills producers Adam Divello and Liz Gateley) with the mean streets of NYC is the stuff dreams are made of! Clomping the cobblestone in ridiculous heels, hair extensions getting stuck in subway doors, changing the name of Broadway to BRO-dway. Imagine the magic! Yes, this is us begging; we don’t care if The Hills is over and The City is old news. Put ‘em together and we’ll watch forever!

[Photo: GettyImages]

Jerry Seinfeld Insults Prince William Wedding, Monarchy In UK Interview

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Disrespecting royalty is a proud American tradition—arguably, the first. But Jerry Seinfeld was being a little uncouth when he gave a big raspberry to the impending marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton on the BBC’s Daybreak. “It’s a circus act, it’s an absurd act,” said the sitcom star when asked if he was excited. “You know, it’s a dress-up. It’s a classic English thing of let’s play dress-up. Let’s pretend that these are special people. OK, we’ll all pretend that—that’s what theater is….And that’s what the Royal Family is—it’s a huge game of pretend. These aren’t special people—it’s fake outfits, fake phoney hats and gowns. It’s fantastic. We don’t have anything like that.” Bill Maher would disagree, but let’s not risk pissing off any more people today.

Daybreak host Adrien Chiles was a little put off by Seinfeld’s open irreverence. “I’ll join in on any of that stuff, if it’s a Brit doing it. But I can’t bear Americans criticizing the Royal family. It turns me into a Royalist!…He’ll be doing [his upcoming live] show from the Tower of London, never mind the O2.” Considering Seinfeld’s big stand-up date isn’t until June—well after the wedding, hopefully everyone will have gotten this commoner’s impudence by then.

[Photos: Getty Images]