Alec Baldwin Says Next Year Will Be 30 Rock‘s Last

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Nooo! In News We Hate today, New York magazine reports that both Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey plan to leave 30 Rock next year, effectively shutting down the show. Though Fey’s reps wouldn’t confirm the news, Baldwin told the magazine “I will tell you one thing, and that is our show next year is our last year of the show.” He continued, “Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She’s going to be the next Elaine May. She’ll be great.”

Well yes, we all know that Tina Fey will be great no matter what she does, but please, don’t take our 30 Rock away! That just means there will be a gaping hole in the Thursday night lineup that’s destined to be filled with more super-sized episodes of Outsourced. Shudder.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Charlie Sheen Scores In Cleveland, Makes Crew Watch Apocalypse Now

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It looks like the warlock may have clutched victory from the jaws of defeat. Charlie Sheen’s Cleveland show was successful enough to end with a standing ovation, less than week after the Violent Torpedo Of Truth tour’s Detroit debut ended in boos. As in Chicago, Sheen skipped the poetry and stuck to questions from the audience, trading shirts with a woman in the audience and showing off “goddesses” Natalie Kenly and Rachel Oberlin (a.k.a. porn star Bree Olson). Granted, walking out in his Indians shirt from the movie Major League was a good way to get the audience in his pocket.

While fans were pleased, more objective gawkers could see plenty of signs that Charlie’s far from over his demons. One bit from TMZ’s report most folks are leaving out of theirs is that the audience chanted “F— that bitch!” after Sheen complained about his ex-wife Denise Richards, who he dismissed as a “kidnapper bitch” along with his ex-wife Brooke Mueller at the Chicago show (Richards and the kids visited the Bahamas this week, avoiding the drama). TMZ also said Sheen’s show was glass-free, just in case the audience got violent, and that Charlie made his entourage see Apocalypse Now, starring his estranged father Martin, in a rented multiplex theater after the show. Even if he manages to pull off the rest of this tour without a hitch, it doesn’t look like his life will be drama-free afterward—especially he doesn’t get his Two And A Half Men day job back.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Patton Oswalt And Michael Chiklis Have A Conversation In Diapers

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AHHHHGGHGHGHhhhh, this is totally one of those videos that once you see it for three seconds, you’re pissed you didn’t think of it. Not that I could’ve speed-dialed Patton Oswalt and Michael Chiklis and put them in diapers and had them speak gibberish to each other even if I’d wanted to, because obviously I do want that, but still, I’m still mad I didn’t think of this then not do it.

Here’s a fitting, definitive conclusion to the Twin Babies Have A Conversation spin-offs, entitled Twin Men Have A Conversation:

Mariah Carey, Naked And Pregnant On Life & Style Cover

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Mariah Carey can add herself to the list we created of celebrity baby bump flaunters. The pop diva appears on this week’s issue of Life & Style magazine covering one set of twins while exposing another. Carey says of her photo shoot, “I was feeling very vulnerable about taking pictures at all right now, but then I didn’t want to miss this opportunity to document this once-in-a-lifetime experience. My ultimate goal was to share this incredibly personal moment with my true fans.” Carey was photographed the night after she was released from the hospital with contractions—that’s a pretty dedicated, hardcore desire to share this with her fans! Carey is reportedly due to give birth to a boy and a girl at the end of April.

[Photo: Life & Style via ONTD]

Aflac Duck Voice Auditions: Everyone No One Is A Winner!

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I think we can all agree that it is okay for news organizations to sometimes cover soft news. Lighter personal interest stories have their place in informative broadcasting. But, CNN should really put a different logo up for stuff like this:

Hahaha, Gilbert Gottfried must be rolling over in his Camry. (We all just assume he has a Camry, right? What’s he going to drive, an Escalade? Get out of town.)

Now, let’s take a moment to offer some constructive criticism for all those who tried out:

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R.I.P. Amanda Bynes’ Puppy, Little Angel

by (@missmuttoo)

Awww, our heart goes out to Amanda Bynes, who just lost her puppy Little Angel, a 4- month old teacup Pomeranian. She tweeted, “Sad day….Little Angel is in heaven now. RIP I love you.” It’s terrible when a pet dies! We don’t know what exactly happened, but Amanda worriedly tweeted yesterday, “Everyone: I have the worst news to tell you….little angel got out of my house somehow and is LOST…If anyone finds her I BEG you to please contact me thru twitter, I will give a reward. She means the WORLD to me & I can’t find her anywhere.”

She hasn’t said what happened to Little Angel, but the whole ordeal has obviously ended badly. This reminds us of when Jessica Simpson lost her Maltipoo, Daisy, to coyotes. Bad luck, Amanda.

[Photo: /Twitpic]

Bristol Palin Made Bank On Pregnancy Prevention Deal

by (@missmuttoo)

Let’s for a second, take a moment to applaud the hypocrisy of it all. The Candie’s Foundation appointed Bristol Palin as their face for a teen pregnancy prevention campaign in 2009. Because clearly, she’s the poster child for it, right? This happened post Tripp’s birth, when Bristol was 18 years old. And it seems all this preventing talk has made the young mom a very rich lady. TMZ reports that Bristol made over $262,000 on the deal because she, “plays an important role by helping other teens understand the incredible challenges teen parents face, and encouraging them to wait until they are socially and financially independent to start their families.”

WHAT. Firstly, she’s a teen mom. She has a baby. There was no prevention there! And now she’s getting money for saying don’t have babies? And then going on Dancing With The Stars. We’re not sure how those two are related, but somehow, they are. There’s just something seriously wrong with how this girl has become a celebrity.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Kelly Ripa Meets Wax Kelly Ripa

by (@missmuttoo)

Not bad, Madame Tussauds! The last couple of celebrity waxworks they produced were pretty heinous (remember Tussaud’s Bieber replica?), but this one’s not bad at all. Kelly Ripa unveiled her Tussauds likeness in New York yesterday, and it’s a pretty good imitation. Like the real Ripa, her statue looks…ripped! They’ve even got the hair down, which is the area they normally muck up in. The only aspect Tussauds didn’t factor in was the tan. The statue is unfashionably pale (for Hollywood, unless you’re Anne Hathaway) while Ripa herself has a healthy glow (we don’t know if it’s store or tanning booth bought, though). Her husband, Mark Consuelos, was there for the occasion and looked like he didn’t mind having two wives at all. Congrats, Kelly!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Russell Brand And Helen Mirren Color Coordinate At Arthur Premiere

by (@missmuttoo)

They totally did, right? Considering how chummy Russell Brand and Helen Mirren became over the course of filming the movie together, we wouldn’t be surprised if they coordinated outfits! The two Brits looked as in sync as a (broken up) boy band at the New York premiere of Arthur. Our favorite Dame looks as elegant as ever in a griege pleated outfit, with perfect hair and the right jewelry. Brand opted for a skinny suit in the same color and we appreciate the insouciant touches like the gold key chain and metallic shoes!

Jennifer Garner looks completely different from her two co-stars opting for darker, more metallic colors and we love her look! She’s looking better than we’ve seen in a long time in Oscar de la Renta and Cartier jewels. Greta Gerwig holds her own in monochrome, ’40s hair and red lips and that high-waisted skirt type silhouette that’s super hard to pull off! For more photographs of celebrities at the Arthur premiere, check out our gallery below. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Jay-Z Lauches Website For Coveted Middle-Aged Superstar Demographic

by (@hallekiefer)

Oh man, this is like Gwyneth Paltrow‘s GOOP all over again. Is Jay-Z going to have to go on Glee to show that he is of the people too? Ryan Murphy better get his “99 problems/99 Luft Balloons” mash-up ready, because Jay-Z’s lifestyle website Life + Times launched today, and it seems strictly for the $2 million Bugatti luxury car set. The site, managed by Hova’s team of writers and trend spotters, features pieces on modern Brazilian photographers, a profile of Belgian couture hat designer, and, of course, a $1,588 men’s shaving kit with a silvertip badger brush. We wish this was a parody of how the wealthy enjoy their money, but deliciously it is not.

The only thing Jay-Z blogged himself so far is a lovely picture of cloud, which probably isn’t enough to distract people from the insane decadency filling every other page. So since Gwyneth’s career eventually branched out from GOOP to a recording contract, is Jay-Z going to have to do the reverse and appear in a Shakespeare In Love remake? Please say yes, World.

[Photo: Getty Images]