Jews Make Passover Video, Embarrass All Other Jews

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As a young Jewish lady who goes to temple from time to time to worship and maybe meet a nice man who doesn’t look like a serial killer (my type, p.s.), I try to do my part to support the Jewish arts. Which is why I’m torn about this video, celebrating one of the best Jewish holidays, Passover. Passover’s a great holiday! You get to drink wine with your family no matter what age you are, are encouraged to read a staged monologue in front of others, and get to smear lamb’s blood all over your front door. (How did you guys celebrate?) A few years ago, an old man’s pants fell down at the Seder my parents and I went to in Miami. Basically, it’s a cahrayzayyy time for Jews!

Then this happens. (Note: Tone change.) A group of well-meaning Jewish people with a love for music puts together a Passover Jam set to Miley Cyrus’ “Party In The USA.” It’s called “Best Seder in the USA.” Hmm, what are some nice things I can say about it? It has pretty good production values. There’s a pretty well-cast Matzah Man with some sweet moves. An excellent Bubbe cameo.

On the other hand, it makes me want to “Brooks Was Here” myself out of self-hatred and embarrassment. Which, isn’t that the Jewish way?? To celebrate while also loathe? I’m sure the star of School Ties Brendan Fraser would certainly agree.

In conclusion, if you are Jewish, watch this video at your own risk. Unless you are over 50 or related to the star of this video, in which case, BUCKLE UP: You’re about to fall in love.

I really, really hope this video gets cross-posted on my favorite Jewish gossip blog “Oh Lo They Didn’t.” I’m also curious if non-Jews watching this video find it cute or “Let’s Banish Them From The Planet For Real This Time”-y.

Ahead, as a BONUS! We bring you last year’s Passover Song set to Will.I.Am’s “I Gotta Feelin” from the same dude. Both videos brought to you by JewishTreats.org.

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Will And Jaden Smith To Reteam For M. Night Shyamalan Sci-Fi Movie

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It’s too late for an April Fool’s joke, right? Columbia is really going forward with an M. Night Shyamalan movie starring Will and Jaden Smith? A movie about a boy in the year 3000 trying to save his dad in the year 3000 after their spaceship crashes on a previously abandoned Earth in the year 3000? “The chance to make a scary, science-fiction film starring Jaden and Will is my dream project,” says Shyamalan in the press release, which is surprising, considering Jaden was a year old when The Sixth Sense came out.

Though it’s also surprising Smith would sign up to work with Shyamalan after the critical drubbing his recent films have received (remember M. Night’s “scary, science fiction film” with Mark Wahlberg, The Happening?), the plot certainly sounds up his alley. All of the Fresh King’s recent films have had him heartbroken and isolated from the everyday world, whether due to unfortunate circumstances (Seven Pounds, The Pursuit Of Happyness) or sci-fi drama (Hancock, I Am Legend). Crash landing on the ruins of Earth with no one but Jaden for company? How could Will resist?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Rosie O’Donnell Feels Chris Brown’s Pain

by (@hallekiefer)

A lot of people claim that the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident isn’t anyone’s business except their own. Whether or not you agree on that point, we can all agree on one thing: it is definitely none of Rosie O’Donnell‘s beeswax. Rosie On’Donnell defended Chris Brown on her Sirius show Rosie Radio this morning, arguing “I just don’t know why this kid seems to be held to a different standard than anyone else.” O’Donnell’s statement seems to imply that there is someone on the planet who could have pulled off Chris Brown’s GMA meltdown without the world giving him or her the extreme side-eye. Unless Rosie is just pointing out that the 6 billion non-famous people on Earth would have been straight-up arrested for shattering a window with a chair. In which case yeah, there is a double standard.

O’Donnell went so far as cast blame on GMA anchor Robin Roberts for asking Brown questions about his domestic abuse of Rihanna. “I felt mildly angry at Robin Roberts. I felt like writing her and going: ‘Can you take a look at this again and see if maybe you find — in any way — your responsibility in this?” Rosie said.  O’Donnell also likened Brown’s rage to the frustration she felt during her tumultuous stint on another day-time talk show: “Part of me wanted to take a chair and throw it through the window at The View after all that happened.” Somehow we think talking about hurling furniture while a panicky Barbara Walter screams in the background isn’t going to help anyone at this point.  Maybe save your comments for a more appropriate time, Rosie. Like, perhaps never.

[Photo: Getty Images/]

Guy Uses Fake Leg To Stop Robber

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NBC News had a report on Friday about a convenience store customer named Steve Cornell who helped stop a robbery with his fake leg in Middletown, Massachusetts.

Just so you don’t end up disappointed, you should know right now that the guy did not remove his leg and throw it at the robber So, that sucks a little bit. But, it’s still a feel-good story. Here’s the report:

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Lil Wayne Owes IRS $5 Million, Could Just Put His Grill In The Mail

by (@hallekiefer)

Look, plenty of people try to hide their earnings from the Feds. Of course, 99% of them don’t have teeth made out diamonds and an internationally successful rap career. According to reports, Lil Wayne’s unpaid taxes currently total over $5 million dollars, or $5,610,034 to be exact. Reportedly Wayne owes $3,335,077.95 dating back to 2008, and $2,258,956.04 for income earned in 2009. It’s not Yeezy’s fault though. It’s probably hard to get to his W-2s when they’re buried under  a pile of cash and jewel-encrusted orthodontia.

Wayne, of course, isn’t the only high roller who might have accidentally forgotten to report his earnings for years on end; Val Kilmer and Marc Anthonys’ tax woes and Wesley Snipes’ jail time are just a few examples. What, could the government not break a billion dollar bill? Given that he just got out last fall, we’re guessing that for Lil Wayne, prison time is just not an option. If you’re personally invested in helping Yeezy out of a jam, you could step up and buy his $12.9 million mansion in Miami, currently for sale. You might have to get the smoke steam-cleaned out of the rugs, but you’re guaranteed to find a ruby-studded retainer caught between the couch and the wall in at least one room.

MARCH SADNESS CHAMPION: Schindler’s List

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After roughly 100,000 tearful votes cast, 63 tearful exits, and an untold amount of actual tears (I’m guessing zero), congratulations to the first-ever March Sadness champion, SCHINDLER’S LIST:

The upstart My Girl posted an impressive showing in the Final matchup, particularly when its vote total very suspiciously jumped by about 500 votes over the weekend, meaning that either 1) It got linked on some My Girl fansite (any of those still hanging around?) or 2) A rogue voter or two kept refreshing the page and revoting. While neither of these scenarios is particularly fair, they are both particularly hilarious.

Thanks to everyone who voted, argued, linked and commented. It’s been a long process, but in the end, we all learned something we absolutely never could have predicted: The Holocaust was really, really sad.

The FINAL MARCH SADNESS BRACKET is after the jump:

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Orange-Skinned Keith Urban Gunning For Gig As Male Snooki

by (@katespencer)

Holy SPF 4. Keith Urban rolled into the Academy of Country Music Awards last night looking more like Snooki than, well, Snooki herself. Wife Nicole Kidman‘s alabaster skin only highlighted his serious tanning bed addiction. Between the straightened hair, the orange skin, the open shirt and the tribal tatt, Keith seems ready to fist pump the night away. No offense Nic – we’re sure he’s sweet and all, but Keith is seriously damaging your A-List cred like whoa.

Other stars spotted on the ACMAs red carpet last night: Taylor Swift looking typically Taylorish, Carrie Underwood in eggplant, that kinda hot Ryan Gosling-ish dude from Lady Antebellum, Julianne Hough and a prom-ready Miranda Lambert. Pics below.

Emma Roberts Struts Her Short Shorts, Leggings In LA

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Emma Roberts is set to star in Adult World next year, about a young poet working in a porn store, so maybe this outfit qualified as research. The Scream 4 actress strutted past the paparazzi in short shorts, heels and leggings this weekend, giving a surprise show for the crew that was previously chasing Whitney Port across the street. Hopefully the horror sequel’s a hit, so that paparazzi will be paying attention once the 20-year-old reveals her summer wardrobe.

See more photos of Emma in the gallery below.

[Photo: Splash News Online/]

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Jeremy Renner Taking Over Bourne AND Mission: Impossible?

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Hollywood practically ignored Jeremy Renner for the near-decade between his amazing turn in Dahmer and his Oscar-nominated Hurt Locker performance, but they seem to be making up for lost time. Despite the fact that he’s already filming a new Mission: Impossible film with Tom Cruise, Latino Review says Renner is Universal’s top choice to star in The Bourne Legacy, where he’d not so much replace Matt Damon as Jason Bourne but play another secret agent undergoing a rather Bourney predicament (far younger actors Jake Gyllenhaal and Garrett Hedlund were previously rumored for the role). Could the 40-year-old Renner really take over two of the biggest action franchises? If this guy can rock a British accent, Daniel Craig better watch his back!

Whether or not he gets the Bourne gig (shouldn’t they get someone who isn’t Matt’s age?), Renner has plenty of action cash coming—he’s already shooting both Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and there’s this little movie called The Avengers coming in 2012. Word dropped last week that Renner will cameo in Thor, out later this month, introducing audiences to his super-archer Hawkeye. If these films do well, the long-underrated actor could find himself one of Hollywood’s biggest stars.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Arnold So Confident About New Superhero, 3-D Film Already In Works

by (@hallekiefer)

Never a man with a short supply of self-confidence, Arnold Schwarzenegger is really going all out with his superhero/public servant character. Because who doesn’t love a cartoon action star who is also an election official and that no one has ever heard of before?  It’s a million dollar idea! After announcing his new character The Governator last week, Schwarzenegger premiered The Governator trailer for his upcoming TV show, featuring guest star Larry King. The kids are going to go wild! Based on the clip, we can look forward to Arnie voicing a Terminator reboot with slightly more evil robots. Arnold even beats someone up with a giant letter ‘L’. For legislation, we’re assuming!

Schwarzenegger is already so certain that his alter-ego will be a hit, he also announced today that he’s planning a Governator 3-D film. Yeah, seems like a safe bet to make a movie about a completely new character with no established fan base (moms who liked Jingle all The Way excluded). “First will come (The Governator) comic books, then a (cartoon) TV series and after that we will develop the games and then a movie,” Schwarzenegger told reporters in Cannes today. “Maybe then we’ll be back in Cannes for that.” Sure, Arnold, and then Sundance after that! Maybe the next time Arnold says “I’m back,” it’ll be on stage at the Academy Awards. Looks like Annette Benning is going to spend yet another year with her hands balled into fists of rage.

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