Is Ryan Phillippe About To Be A New Papa With His Ex?

by (@hallekiefer)

You think Amanda Seyfried seems like pure sweetness now, with those blond locks and angelic face, but ten bucks says lasers are about to blast out of her giant Precious Moments eyeballs when she hears about this. According to US Magazine, actress Alexis Knapp is pregnant with ex Ryan Phillippe’s baby, or so claims the So Undercover star herself. “She’s in the second trimester,” a source tells US. “She has been telling people he is the father. Ryan doesn’t know if he is the dad. If he is, he will take full responsibility for the child,” another source reported. Seems like Ryan should know which women women could potentially be carrying his offspring, but we understand; it’s hard to keep track when you’re an actor.

Having dated Phillippe for a few months this summer, Knapp has a noticeable baby bump, or so suggest pics taken of the actress around L.A. Um, even if they just dated in August, that would make her about seven months pregnant; she didn’t bring this up to him before then? According to People, Knapp’s baby is due in June. Currently Phillippe is dating Amanda Seyfried, has two children with Reese Witherspoon and is rumored to have flirted with Rihanna recently: three women who are undoubtedly rolling their eyes so hard and in perfect unison, it looks like it should be a sport in the 2016 Summer Olympic.

The Bully Bodyslam: A Frank Discussion

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Perhaps the saddest permutation of bullying is when a kid gets physically attacked by a smaller kid and doesn’t fight back — when the kid being bullied has the needed strength and power to successfully respond, but does not. It’s as if the child has such a distorted and negative view of himself that he can’t see that he is capable of ending his own torment.

This following video has become viral today and deservedly so. It captures the exact moment a larger kid stops accepting bullying as a reality and realizes that he doesn’t have to take abuse from anyone, much less someone who is a tiny little assh*le. Both of the kids in this video will remember this moment for the rest of their lives. One will remember it as the moment that he found it in himself to take destiny into his own hands, and the other will remember it as the time he stumbled around punch drunk after being dropped RIGHT ON HIS CHILDHOOD FACE.

This video captures the kind of triumph that is only possible during youth. It is rare as an adult to have an epiphany, much less one that can be so immediately put to use. “Wait a minute… what the hell are we even talking about here? I am enormously strong.” – This Kid. And a quick warning: The video is kind of intense.

You don’t normally root for the bigger kid, but this is perfect. It’s like that scene in the remake of The Karate Kid where Jackie Chan beats up a gang of 11 year olds and your’e totally on Jackie Chan’s side. (Yes, that actually happens in a movie that is legal to watch.)

Also, for the record, the bodyslammed kid was okay. So, let’s all relax.

Thanks, Towleroad.

Avril Lavigne Gets A Safety Pin Neck Tattoo

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Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner already have matching tattoos, but Avril is a modern woman who doesn’t need to share everything with her boyfriend, which is why she got a brand new tattoo this weekend. What is it of? In Avril’s words “Its a…… Safety pin bitches!!!!!

In other words, Avril Lavigne’s neck=our punk high school backpack. That Korn patch had to stay on somehow.

[Photo: Twitter]

Kid Rock’s Confederate Flag Love Provokes Boycott Over NAACP Awards

by (@hallekiefer)

No, you didn’t fall asleep in a time machine and wake up in 1998 when you’d expect to read about Kid Rock in the news. Apparently there’s a boycott against the NAACP awards over Kid Rock’s Confederate flag use in concerts. The singer is scheduled to receive the Great Expectations Award from the civil rights organization May 1, where he will also give the keynote address. “It’s a slap in the face for anyone who fought for civil rights in this country. It’s a symbol of hate and bigotry,” says Adolph Mongo, head of the group Detroiters for Progress. We’re offended by this too! We mean, Kid Rock has been out of the national eye for so long; the only award he should get is Furthest Distance From Which A Human Can Smell A Pig (Distance: 1 mile).

Says the director of Detroit’s NAACP branch Donnell R. White, “Kid Rock…has consistently lifted up the Great Expectations of many persons…concerning the future of the city.” Kid Rock is also appearing at a benefit to celebrate George H.W. Bush and volunteerism. A man of contradictions, the Kid. It seems to us that anyone who doesn’t actively wear the Confederate flag like it’s the new black would be a better candidate for a NAACP award, but what do we know? We take it Fred Durst wasn’t available?

[Photo: WireImage]

Can You Deer Me Now: Deer Loses Ears, Gains Trendy Headwrap

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Ohhh myyyy Goddd willlll youuuuu looooook atttttt thiiiiiiiis guuuuuuyyyy?

Our favorite hospital for miniature rescued deers, St. Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital, has nearly outdone themselves with this latest find. A baby Muntjac deer nicknamed “Bless Her Little Heart” lost both of her ears in a dog attack in Oxford, England. While this story already seems delightfully heartbreaking, it gets better: She became best friends with a fellow male deer named Max, and now the two are boyfriend and girlfriend. Boyfriend and f-ing girlfriend baby deers, one of whom looks remarkably like the deer version of Erykah Badu.

You would be wise to click ahead for not only a photo of these lovebirds as well as the HOOF CLOSE-UP OF 2011.

Read more…

The 5 Worst The Office Bobblehead Dolls

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At the NBC Experience Store in New York’s Rockefeller Center they have an enormous amount of crap you would never ever want. For example, try getting psyched about the shirt at the right.

Even in the unlikely event that you had a friend who happened to have both seen Psych and also liked it, this would be a terrible gift. “I would have rather you just saved the money and stopped being friends with people.” – Your Friend who likes Psych. But one thing in the store that it is possible someone somewhere might actually enjoy is their line of The Office bobblehead dolls. The only problem is that they are the world’s least accurate bobblehead dolls. Here are the five worst ones.

1.) Stanley

It looks like instead of having an artist just look at pictures of the characters, they got some sort of police sketch artist equivalent of a sculptor who kept interrupting people as they described the character’s faces. “Okay, so this guy is black? Say no more!”

Not even close.

Read more…

Madonna’s Alleged Stalker Breaks Into Her Home, Girl Needs To Up Her Security

by (@hallekiefer)

Another day, another terrifying stalker silently whizzing past Madonna‘s sleeping security guards on a zip line. An alleged stalker broke into Madonna’s London home this weekend. Perpetrator Grzegorz Matlok smashed a window to gain access to the home, and was apprehended and charged with burglary. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Madonna was at her grandmother’s funeral when it happened. Madge seriously needs to call ADT or release the hounds or something. Even posting a gigantic picture of her ripped biceps would deter most career criminals.

This certainly isn’t the first time Madge had her domicile threatened by someone who loves “Isla Bonita” more than any other human being has ever loved anything, ever. Back in September, a stalker spray-painted love notes outside Madonna’s home in New York; the next month, another scratched “Meet Me” with an ice pick in the side of Madonna’s house. Wow, hats off to Madge for even leaving her bedroom! Madonna’s security forces also reported that in 1996 a Madonna stalker was sentenced to 10 years for felony stalking, after he scaled the walls around her home in L.A. Hmmm, maybe Madge’s security forces should stop gossiping to the press and actually watch the surveillance video, rather than play Angry Birds all night. Oh, you know that’s what they’re doing. We’ve got ‘em pegged.

At Least 50 Cent Knows His Tsunami Jokes Are “Ignorant”

by (@hallekiefer)

Well, we guess if 50 Cent knows he’s being an idiot by ripping on the Japanese tsunami victims, then that makes it less cruel, right? RIGHT? The rapper seemed like he could barely wait to flood the web with 50 Cent’s tsunami Twitter jokes. “Its all good Till b*tches see there christian louboutins floating down da street shit gone get crazy,” Fiddy cracked. “Man they made a movie about all this 2012 now you think that was a lucky guess.” It’s like 50 Cent is live-tweeting himself being a terrible human being! Eventually Fiddy tweeted to reassure his fans, “Some of my tweets are ignorant I do it for shock value. Hate it or love it. I’m cool either way 50cent.” Argh, we want to be mad but he already knows he’s a total moron for writing them. What more could we possibly add to the discussion?

Unfortunately, Fiddy isn’t the only celebrity joking about the disaster victims in tweet form. Gilbert Gottfied’s Twitter jokes are particularly heinous, including “I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said ‘is there a school in this area.’ She said ‘not now, but just wait.’” We’re guessing Gilbert is aware of his ignorance too. Well, as long as you guys know that you are disgusting cretins for making quasi-humorous riffs on one of the worst disasters in recent history, we guess our job here is done. Because seriously, you are.

[Photo: Getty Images]

“Drinks Tonight? Sorry… I Have Plans

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I’m not saying this is what I watched on Saturday night instead of going out for drinks with my “friends.” But I am saying that no one asked me to go for drinks on Saturday night and so this is what I watched.

It was one of the better Saturday nights I’ve had in a while.