Cue Eye Roll: Reese Witherspoon Thinks She Looks Bad In Every Photo She’s In

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When we originally ran the above photo, it was in a post called “Reese Witherspoon Looks Incredible At Monsters Vs. Aliens Premiere.” Because it’s true, the woman looks gorgeous and we’d kill to have her hair/legs/shoes/etc. in this photo. But you know who thinks she looks like a steaming turd in this picture? Reese Witherspoon.

In an infuriating interview with Chelsea Handler, Witherspoon explained that she does Google image searches of herself and says “I literally think I look bad in every picture.” Nothing like setting a good example for all the youngsters out there by being a beautiful and self-loathing actress. She also feels awkward watching herself on film, sayingI don’t know, who feels good looking at themselves? Nobody, right? It’s torture. Why would you want to watch yourself being stupid and pretending to be somebody else?” I dunno, because you’ve won Oscars and earned millions of dollars by making it your livelihood? Because people like you and look up to you? Because that’s the definition of acting?

None of this makes any sense to us, but feel free to check out the entire interview after the jump. Reese does somewhat redeem herself when she talks about how she has barnyard animal friends (who apparently don’t care what she looks like).

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Lindsay Lohan’s Rehab Battle: Who Assaulted Who?

by (@missmuttoo)

Move Lindsay Lohan wherever you want, but drama is going to find her. We already know Lindsay’s accused of criminal battery for pushing a Betty Ford Clinic worker, but that’s only the tip of the ice berg. According to TMZ, Dawn Holland filed a report that LiLo went loco after she was caught out after curfew. Holland says Lindsay “threw the phone…I threw up my left hand to block it and then she grabbed my right hand and tried to snatch the phone that I had up to my ear, then called me a ‘C –T B–H.” Holland’s been fired for talking about the alleged altercation to paparazzi, but responded, “The story was already way out there in the open before I spoke.  If Lindsay is allowed to say, ‘Fire that b—,’ I should be able to defend myself.” Oddly enough, Holland was accused of assaulting her husband in 2008.

Though Holland’s insists that LiLo had been drinking because she could smell the booze of her breath, Lohan says Holland was physically abusive towards her, grabbing Lindsay’s arm and pushing her. In fact, Lindsay claims she wasn’t even partying with her roommates prior to the incident. Merely late from a hair appointment, Lindsay says she asked for a breathalyzer, but was refused by Holland. She also claims that there are witnesses and surveillance cameras that prove her story.

So who did it folks? Is Lindsay telling the truth? Who assaulted who? Was Lindsay really drinking again? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Video: Le Man And Le Dog In Le Snow

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When I was young, my mom took our dog, Major, out for a walk in the snow. When she returned to the house, she was carrying Major. He was an English Springer Spaniel, which is a medium sized dog-not easy to carry. She said that he had suddenly stopped walking and that he must’ve injured his paw. She was really worried about him. She put him down in the kitchen and he pranced off as normal as can be. Basically, my dog Major was a huge pussy and his feet got cold in the snow so he pretended like he couldn’t walk to get a free ride from my mom. What a jerk. In a slight twist on this story, this man and dog seem to have a symbiotic relationship wherein it is understood that the dog shall not walk in the snow, but shall instead perch like a parrot on his owner’s shoulders.

The soundtrack makes it sound like one of those charming French or Italian films. Man And Dog, by Federico Fellini. Or, this is just a Pixar short waiting to be animated.

Gwyneth Paltrow Only Takes Roles Her Kids Would Be Proud Of

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If Gwyneth Paltrow is in a movie, you can assume at least once person thinks it will be a great one: Gwyneth. Paltrow told PopEater “my time out of my house and away from my kids is no joke,” and that she only takes roles her children Apple and Moses would “be proud of…they’ll look back and go, ‘Wow, Mom was alright.’” Why did we match that quote with a picture of Gwyneth going commando at a Country Strong screening? Because we’re evil, evil people.

“I am not putting them to bed right now, I’m here, and that’s really hard on me. But at the same time, it’s what I do, so when I do my work, I want to be inspired.” Hey, Pepper Potts in the Iron Man movies may be named Pepper, but she’s also a strong, assertive businesswoman! And what kid wouldn’t want cinematic proof that their mom was Country Strong? Not only does Mom have an Oscar, she got it for taking her top off with William Shakespeare! Despite the cool resume, we’re guessing Apple is still going to find something to hate about Gwynnie in her teenage years—like the fact that she named her Apple, perhaps.

Justin Bieber Loses Hair Helmet, Gains Mustache

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Justin Bieber & Ryan Good

Justin Bieber‘s swagger coach Ryan Good is certainly earning his paycheck. If you thought the Biebs was a girl magnet before, imagine how the ladies will handle him with a big, manly mustache! Bieber, P.I. tweeted photos of his faux-facial hair to the hashtag #stacheswaggin after last night’s concert. Hey, you don’t think it was just an attempt to get people used to Bieber without his helmet hair, do you? Pretty smooth, distracting us like that.

[Photo: Plixi]

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Join Us In Drooling Over Prince Harry

by (@missmuttoo)

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Hello, Harry. Seriously…how hot has the Prince become? We were quite beside ourselves typing this post due to how dee-lish he’s looking. We also considered it our duty to publish photos of him looking that sharp, ’cause boyfriend can certainly pull of a suit. William-marriage-bonanza is getting all the press, and we think it’s unfair to leave the ginge hottie behind.

Harry was in Berlin yesterday visiting the Bernauer Strasse Wall Memorial, where he left behind a wreath and personally written note. Looks like his costume party-Nazi faux pas has been forgotten! ‘Course it is…look at him. Who wouldn’t forgive him? Need convincing, then check out the photos in the gallery below. Be prepared to swoon. [Photos: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]

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Guess The Celebrity Backside?

by (@missmuttoo)

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How apt that it was a full moon yesterday? Perhaps that’s why this celebrity was inspired to get cheeky and show off her own full moon. Dressed in fishnets and fleshy teeny-tiny pants and a leather jacket, this star decided to let it all hang out while hanging out in a gorgeous European city. One question though: Isn’t it supposed to be cold? Find out who the star is after the jump… [Photos: Getty Images]

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50 Cent’s Home Broken Into By Two Of The Dumbest Thieves Ever

by (@missmuttoo)

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A 53-room mansion and you can’t get more security? C’mon Fiddy… it’s not like you can’t afford it! 50 Cent‘s home was just broken into by two rather dim burglars.  Though there’s a lot more than 50 cents’ worth of property stashed in those digs, the dastardly duo decided to hit up the booze instead. Alexander Hernandez, the one in the red shirt you’ll see in the gallery below, chose to guzzle a bottle of wine in the rapper-actor’s closet instead of shipping out. How did these two lunkheads get in the house? Seriously?

The thieves were apprehended, and are currently held on a sizable $50,000 bond.  They were discovered when security guards spotted an unidentifiable vehicle in the driveway. Wait up, they parked their car right by the house they were planning to be pilfer from? No. words. Long story short: the cops came up and found these two gentlemen taking their own sweet time. They were also allegedly, in possession of some pot, which probably explains Santos Padilla‘s (the blue-shirt dummy) big grin. Hernandez looks like he’s having the worst hangover ever! Check out the two good-time burglars’ mug shots in the gallery below. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Remember These Two?

by (@missmuttoo)

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Just in case you had forgotten this fact (or forced yourself to): Kat von D and Jesse James are in love. Since it’s the holiday season, let’s just totally forget that he was a rat to now ex-wife, Sandra Bullock. Let’s not even mention that he has his own cheater-moniker, Vanilla Gorilla. Let’s skip over the fact that Jesse spent months wailing about how he “wanted to get caught” bonking, y’know, Nazi strippers. Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, who?

What were we talking about? Oh yes, the love between Kat and Jesse. And since it’s all little ponies and unicorns with these two, Kat needed to spread their joy to the world. On Twitter, of course. Kat tweeted a simple, “<3″ with the photo pictured above. For some strange reason that old Spice Girls song,  2 become 1 is playing in our head. And now we’re just creeped out. Erm, happy holidays!

[Photo via Twitter]