M. Night Shyamalan’s descent into terribleness has been declared ad nauseum on the web over the past 5 years, stretching to even graphical representations, to the point where it’s barely even an opinion so much as a universally agreed-upon objective fact that’s not even worth debating. So why even bother bringing it up today? Because actors in his films continue to stretch to defend his work, rather than just take the far more effective approach of being in his movies and never speaking of them.
Today, Last Airbender star and possible 30s blues musician Jackson Rathbone defends Shyamalan with a series of quotes, each more “…really?” than the last.
Let’s field them one at a time:
“The critics in the U.S. … I just don’t think they really like M. Night Shyamalan anymore…I don’t know why.”
True! If by “critics” you mean “all humans.” That includes my even more obsessed Shyamalan-fan friends who loved Signs and held out genuine hope for Lady In The Water and The Happening and at this point have been beaten into submission and now rail against the director even more passionately than I do because they realize how misplaced their loyalty was. It reminds me of my Bush-supporting friends seven years into his presidency — we’re pretty much all on the same page now.
As for “Why,” it’d take too long to explain, but basically he’s made a whole bunch of really bad movies all in a row. Actually that didn’t take long at all. Moving along:
rnConsidering the size of Jennifer Lopez’s most famous asset, that might be a difficult task, but that’s apparently of little concern to the producers of American Idol. According to a just-published People report, the show’s braintrust has already decided that the temperamental diva is more hassle than she’s worth and will be moving in a different direction with their judges during the 10th (and quite possibly final) season of the show. Despite the fact that Deadline.com reported that Lopez had “closed [her] deal” to appear as a judge on the popular franchise, People reports that the deal was never inked and that “Fox had just had enough” with Lopez, whose “demands got out of hand.” Wow!rnrnCan Jennifer Lopez pull out of her career nosedive? Who will Idol producers get to replace her? Is Brian Dunkleman getting his hopes up that 2011 will be his year? All of this, as you might expect, is developing…
Check your watch – are Danielle Staub‘s fifteen minutes of fame up yet? Because our delicate hearts can’t take any more of her sleaze. Like, for instance, the 48th birthday party she threw for herself at Scores this weekend. Our main problem with this whole sordid affair is that she seems to forget she has kids at home – who’s watching them, her anonymous sex tape partner? And much like her children, her dignity too has long been forgotten, hence all the trashy pictures.
[Photos: Getty Images]
If you prefer your singing sensations dowdy, oldish, and initially severely mocked by several hundred people, don’t watch this video of 10 year old Jackie Evancho performing Puccini’s “O Mio Babbino Caro” on last night’s episode of America’s Got Talent. (Jump to 1:45 for the singing).
Chillax, Piers Morgan. It makes me uncomfortable when you give praise. Essentially all of these judges make me super uncomfortable, Nick Cannon as well, but a gushing Piers Morgan is just against nature.
Whelp, great job, Jackie. In addition to having a
weirdly impressively adult voice, you really hit all of the Cute Little Girl check points:
Blonde, perfectly curled pony tail
A garden with ducks (my personal favorite detail)
She asserts that “the best things come in small packages.” I’ll allow this annoying cliche because of the aforementioned duck detail.
Adorable tears of happiness after her performance, followed by an audience “awwww”
LOVES Disney World, and presumably Harry Potter.
Watch out, Charlotte Church 15 years ago!!
Via The Daily What
When Barack Obama appeared on The View this month and the topic of Jersey Shore came up, the president claimed “I gotta admit, I don’t know who Snooki is,” yielding laughs and applause from the crowd. Today, Snooki issued her (anticipated?) response:
“I know he knows who I am,” she tells E! News. “Why did he have to lie and say he didn’t know me? He did say Snooki and JWoww about the tanning stuff and now he doesn’t know who I am? He has to stop lying.”
In May, at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner in D.C., President Obama joked about a tanning tax, saying “the following individuals shall be excluded from the indoor tanning tax within this bill: Snooki, JWOWW, The Situation and House minority leader John Boehner.”
OHHHHHH SNAPP! Obama’s totally busted!
One of these three things must be true:
Let’s start out with the best quote from Zac Efron’s new interview in the September issue of Details: “‘Oh…my…God,’ Efron says with a gasp. ‘It’s like the best…orgasm…ever! And I just keep coming!” Unfortunately Zac was only describing running water over his poison oak rash. How disappointing.
Luckily for us, the essay is more than just six pages of getting us worked up over nothing; it also paints an interesting portrait of a Disney star on the verge of becoming a legitimate actor. As Zac enters his “Not A Boy, Not Yet Our Boyfriend” stage of life, he has to some how negotiate how to go from dribbling synchronized basketballs in a choreographed musical number to…well, literally anything else. But how does one get a career that is more Johnny Depp than Joey Lawrence (Just kidding. Watch The Manny this fall on ABC Family!) And what about Kirk Cameron? WHAT ABOUT KIRK CAMERON?
While we’re all pretty sure Zac was created at the Harvard Lab for Perfect Boyfriend Research, its going to take something of an image make-over to ensure he won’t end up crammed in a studio apartment with Freddie Prinze Jr. and Scott Wolf (Party of Five? Ring any bells?). 17 Again and Charlie St. Cloud director Burr Steers describes having to wring the Mickey Mouse out of his star, explaining ”It’s something you go through with a lot of these young Disney actors. Teaching them that when they’re acting, they don’t need to worry so much about being polite.” Some have even suggested that Efron’s recent romp with a cadre of strippers was a deliberate move to distance himself from his baby-faced roots. Hopefully his latest movie, Charlie St. Cloud, will help him do the same. Maybe “Zac Efron” didn’t immediately scream “crazy loner who can see the ghost of his little brother” before, but it sure does now! Efron also passed on a role in the upcoming Footloose remake, thus showing wisdom beyond his years.
So who should Efrom take his career cues from? He doesn’t really have the comedic chops of former teen stars Will Smith or Jason Bateman, at least that we’ve seen. And whatever he does, he shouldn’t try to out Pattinson Robert Pattinson. It just can’t be done. Have you seen that kid brood? Forget it. Our advice for the next wave of the Zac attack? Follow Tom Cruise’s career path….up to a point. Maybe Zac isn’t the funniest guy in the room, but he works like a machine, and has enough charisma and self-confidence keep our eyes vacuum-sealed to the screen every time. So go ahead, branch out into roles where you play the twitchy weirdo, maybe even go to Cruise’s for a motorcycle ride or two. Just whatever you do, steer clear of Scientology. Do you hear us? Don’t even go there.
Eat, Pray, Love represents a melding of two of our favorite things – movies and eating. But if it disappoints us the way Julie and Julia did (Amy Adams, we still haven’t forgive you or that ugly wig!) we might have to give up on the inspiring food film genre. The New York premiere for Eat, Pray, Love was host to not only the biggest stars from the film – yum yum, Javier Bardem, and also that Julia Roberts chick – and also plenty of celebs from the food world. Our girl Gail Simmons, who we love from Top Chef, was on hand, as were several chefs from the Food Network. Don’t get us started on why semi-half-assed Sandra Lee was there though, we still haven’t figured her out. We’re guessing she cooked James Franco and ate him while guzzling a signature cocktail though, since he’s suspiciously absent.
[Photos: Getty Images/]
Jason Schwartzman and Michael Cera happened to be together in Atlanta the other day (promoting a film) and dropped in on the local news to do the weather.
hahahahahahaha-waaaait a second. I’ve seen this type of thing before:
Two things: 1) SORRY for the above headline, but it was just too easy. And 2) Now we know why Alanis Morissette‘s boobs looked so insane at the Prince Of Persia premiere, as seen in this photo. The singer is reportedly head over feet (sorry again!) that she and her husband, rapper Souleye, are expecting their first child together. In a feature in Us Magazine, Morrisette outed her pregnancy in a list of “25 Things You May Not Know About Me”. Some other facts that we find just as interesting in that list include her being the owner of three turtles and that she has a debilitating fear of moths, which is actually far more intriguing than expecting a child. Why does she find moths so scary? Can she bear to watch Silence of the Lambs? Probably not. Alas, we’re off-topic. Congratulations, you crazy kids!
The Weekly Diff is our pop culture spin on the traditional “spot the difference” game. Check back every Wednesday for a new picture.
As boyfriend and fellow Disney product Zac Efron looked on from the first row, Vanessa Hudgens shed what was left of her HSM innocence as she portrayed Mimi in Neil Patrick Harris‘ production of Rent at the Hollywood Bowl. Can you spot 10 differences in this pic of Ms. Hudgens? [Photo: Splash News Online]