Saturday Night Live Power Rankings: Say Hello To Paul Brittain, Everyone!

by (@unclegrambo)

What’s not to like about Emma Stone? The young redhead seems to be one of the most likeable and grounded members of today’s Young Hollywood scene, eschewing arrests and stints in rehab for well-liked turns in films like Superbad, Zombieland and Easy-A. Some might even go as far as to call her the next Anna Faris! However, much like the aforementioned Faris, her first time hosting Saturday Night Live didn’t exactly go as planned.

It wasn’t like Stone was a stiff on the level of the dreaded January Jones, but it was clear from the monologue that she going to be a natural in terms of her ability to connect with the audience (Related: Who chose that outfit? She looks like she’s going to her first day of Boring School, not hosting SNL). Stone is neither a stage actress nor a true comedienne, but we hoped that she would bring a little something more to the proceedings than a look that screamed “I’m just going to try and get through this without screwing up.” Granted, it was not the writing staff’s finest hour, but when you’re given the opportunity to zing Lindsay Lohan, you gotta make it work!

So, we’ve established that Saturday night’s episode was pretty middle of the road, but there were some interesting breakthroughs this week (say hello to Paul Brittain, everybody!). Follow along for our weekly breakdown of how the Not Ready For Primetime Players performed this week!

Read more…

Did Taylor And John Run Into Each Other At The SNL After-Party?

by (@katespencer)

Call it the most perfect PR stunt for Taylor Swift’s (see her hottest outfits) new album, Speak Now. The singer, who is performing live tonight on Vh1.com, was apparently at the Saturday Night Live after-party this weekend on the arm of doe-eyed hunk Jake Gyllenhaal. According to Lainey Gossip, Taylor and Jake showed up together and awkwardly flirted and held hands. What’s more, Taylor introduced Jake to people as “her date,” and they – duh duh duh -  left together. While we haven’t seen photos of the new pair together, it’s entirely plausible this went down. Tay is in town for her performance tonight (and she’s also tight with this weekend’s SNL host Emma Stone) and Jakey is here promoting his new movie, Love and Other Drugs. We love that sweet, sweet circumstantial evidence!

But what makes this story wonderfully scandalous and awkward is that John Mayer was at the same party on Saturday (see pic of him arriving, above). We’ve now listened to Taylor’s song “Dear John” 10+ times, and it’s a pretty scathing take-down of the 32-year-old horndog. Did Taylor have an uncomfortable run-in with her “expert at sorry”? Did Jake protectively fend off Mayer and his hockey hair from his new woman? Or did they all just peacefully co-exist in the same room like mature adults?

[Photos: , GettyImages, Splash News Online]

HICCUP GIRL SNAPS; HICCUPS; KILLS

by

The Hiccup Girl – Watch more Funny Videos

Many years ago, in an innocent time known as the “mid-2000s,” a girl came into our lives afflicted with an illness that seemed too annoying to survive. Her name was “Hiccup Girl,” or Jennifer Mee, and she had a case of the hiccups that would not go away. 3 weeks of non-stop hiccups earned her a non-stop round trip ticket to The Today Show, where she joined Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer on the famed couch to discuss her affliction.

And now, the inevitable has happened….

HICCUP GIRL HAS KILLED.

Yes, this raving hic’ster who was clearly battling some mental as well as physical issues has been arrested and accused with first-degree murder. Authorities claim Jennifer lured 22 year old Shannon Griffith to a home, where he was robbed and then gunned down.

This story is brutal and horrible and she should be put in jail for life. But can we just say that we’re not really surprised? I mean, what else do you really expect to happen to a girl who hit her peak at 16 for having the hiccups? All the glitz, glamour of having a horrible illness snatched away from you in a matter of weeks… it can’t be easy. Look at how some of our most beloved child stars have turned out, and those people actually had some talent at one point in their lives! This girl’s main talent was a super unreliable diaphragm and/or a really convincing fake hiccup. And, apparently, shooting and robbing people. What can someone do with a resume like that? Work in a law firm? No. They can shoot and rob someone. And, judging by her mugshot, she’s probably also really good at meth.

So take this as a warning, parents: If your child has some horrible disease, no matter how “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” it may be, whatever you do, do not introduce that child to Matt Lauer. And may Hiccup Girl spend the rest of her days in horrible, writhing pain behind bars.

(Mugshot via Splash News)

Matt Damon And Lady Damon Welcome New Baby Damon

by (@hallekiefer)

matt_damongetty

We should have know Matt Damon was in the process of becoming an adorable dad again last week; our Fantasy Husband Alert was going off non-stop. Matt Damon and wife Lucia Damon greeted their fourth baby, Stella Zavala Damon, who joins big sisters Gia, Isabella and half-sister Alexa. Let’s see:  okay, Zavala is pretty weird, but they kept it to a middle name and balanced it with a fairly normal first. Well-played, Mr. and Mrs. Damon. It looks like this kid is going to get out of middle school without too much psychological scarring.

We’re sure the baby is cute and all, but we’ll be saving our squees for the cutest one of all: Papa Damon. Says Matt, “If I had a bucket list, I’d say raising my four girls to be strong, good women would be No. 1.” Squee! Based on the movie we would have thought jumping out of an airplane or befriending Jack Nicholson were more bucket-worthy pursuits.  But then again, no one actually saw that movie, so…  Strong ladies are a excellent goal also, especially considering that with four of them Matt and Luciana are well on their way to assembling their own private army of offspring. Unfortunately for baby Damon fans, Matt says,  “This is it. Our lives are full and wonderful and we’re done having kids.”  You mean, with your wife, right? Right? We take your silence to be a ‘yes.’ [Photo: Getty Images]

The 10 Nerdiest Signs At The New Zealand “Hobbit” Rally

by

The people of Queenstown, New Zealand held a rally today to persuade Peter Jackson and Warner Bros. to film The Hobbit in New Zealand, despite recent union unrest threatening to push the filming elsewhere.

Much in the spirit of the Comic-Con Westboro Church Protesters, the nerdy signs were out in full force today – below, a collection of the 10 Nerdiest Signs from the New Zealand Hobbit Rally, in order of nerdiest to also-nerdiest:

10. Please Save My Precious Home

Ironically, that same photo has also been used on numerous anti-abortion protest signs.

9. New Zealand Is Middle Earth

The twist you didn’t see coming.

Read more…

Jersey Shore Season 4: Disney World?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

paulie_main_1

Hey Pauly D, you GTLed every day this month! What are you gonna do now to celebrate? Go to Disney World, of course! Just days after the second season finale of Jersey Shore, Pauly made his way down to Florida to hit up the Happiest Place On Earth That Isn’t New Jersey™.

But it wasn’t all just goofin’ with Goofy and creepin’ on the Little Mermaid. Mr. D made the trip to announce his role as the feature DJ at Disney Grad Nite 2011, an annual after-hours celebration exclusively for high school seniors this spring. Err, may we recommend not creepin’ on those girls? Because that takes creepin’ to another level.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

View Photo Gallery

David Beckham: World’s Best (And Hottest) Dad

by

becks_sp

Got a case of the Monday grumpies? Feast your eyes on the perfection that is The Beckham Boys. After the LA Galaxy won their last game of the season, David Beckham (thankfully) removed his jersey and gave it to a fan, then welcomed his trio of adorable sons onto the field. Brooklyn, Romeo, and Cruz dashed to their hero for congratulatory hugs. Daddy Beckham never fails to melt our hearts with his genuine affection for his boys. His pipin’ hot bod ain’t bad either.

More photos below, including a bonus shot of Becks’ booty as he changed shorts mid-game. [Photos: Splash News Online]

View Photo Gallery

Corey Feldman Tries To Be The Next Jared Leto

by

Corey Feldman and his band Truth Movement performed in Las Vegas this weekend where they also held a screening of Lost Boys: The Thirst, the sequel to the 1987 movie that kicked off the vampire craze.* Unfortunately for Feldman, it’s hard to crossover as a badass rock star while there’s a bikini beach party going on behind you. In addition to the beach ball weirdness in the background, Feldman was wearing a vinyl pinstriped suit that makes us sweat just looking at it – seriously, it’s like what high school wrestlers who need to make weight would wear as formal wear. For a few more entertaining pictures of the performance, check out our photos below.

*At least for us it did.

Antoine Dodson’s Commercial For The New iPhone Sex Offender App

by

Antoine Dodson continues his ongoing awkward breaking of the internet fourth wall with this self-aware, viral-baiting commercial for the new iPhone Sex Offender Tracker App, including the App’s slogan, “If you don’t download this App, you are so dumb.”

It’s still better than Apple’s original commercial for the App, which would’ve featured a hip 29-year-old new dad jamming to the latest Hives single on his iPhone then noticing a hip, employed but still young n’ havin’ fun sex offender.

(via Dlisted)