Randy Quaid And Wife Skip Court Again, Still Wanted For Arrest

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Randy Quaid & Evi Quaid

If we can be serious about the Randy Quaid: fugitive from law” story for just a moment, it’s tragic that the young’uns of today are more likely to know Dennis Quaid‘s burly brother for his ridiculous comments about “Hollywood star-whackers” and his continent-crossing attempts to evade hotel bills and vandalism charges, then for a film career that includes such classics as The Last Picture Show, The Last Detail, Midnight Express and Brokeback Mountain. Kids today weren’t even born when National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation came out. A glorious career ruined by a case of the crazies—it’s sad!

That out of the way, we’re now free to gawk at the lunacy. Randy and wife Ami missed yet another court appearance today, with their lawyer explaining that the Canadians took the couple’s passports away when they attempted to seek asylum from the star-whackers.  Rather than give the pair another trial date, the judge decided to keep an arrest warrant in place, promising to have those Quaids in cuffs if they wander back over the border (the Quaid’s are still set to show up for Canadian court next week). Considering they’ve already lost $1 million in bail, it’s hard to imagine they have much of that sweet, sweet Griswold money left to cover legal costs. Can they pull a Polanski?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Eleven Awkward Rob Bombs

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rob-jumping

Though we usually succeed at rendering ourselves as functioning adults here at TheFABlife, nothing could stop us from losing our sh*t and screaming like tweens when Breaking Dawn photos leaked last week. Initially the Internet got hot and bothered about Kristen Stewart‘s rarely-seen bikini bod, but what emerged as a greater gift were the incredibly awkward/endearing photos of Robert Pattinson (photos) leaping into the Brazilian sea in his boxers.

Perhaps it’s because he’s the picture of British perfection 99.9% of the time, but these unflattering, vulnerable shots of RPattz have quickly reached meme status. Enjoy eleven of our very own Rob Bomb renditions.

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Is Tony Parker Divorcing Eva Longoria?

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Eva Longoria & Tony Parker

The hell? TMZ reports that basketballer Tony Parker filed for divorce from Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria Parker, his wife of just over three years. B-b-but she was sitting happily on his lap at the 2nd Annual Rally For Kids With Cancer less than a month ago! Nobody’s talking, but E! Online says that Parker—who just hosted the MTV European Music Awards—canceled a planned appearance on an Anderson Cooper Heroes Of 2010 special this weekend. Dirt alert! Dirt alert! If they’re breaking up with this kind of speed, expect some juicy details to come. Check out photos of the couple in the gallery below. [Photo: Getty Images]

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The World’s Most Ironic Abstinence Commercial, Starring Bristol Palin And The Situation

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Bristol Palin and The Situation have a new PSA promoting safe sex (and/or abstinence and/or Magnum condoms). There’s a lot wrong with this. We made a list.

1. These two are perhaps the most famous sex-having people in our country. One of them with eff anything that moves (well, not grenades), while the other is the most high-profile teenage mother ever. It’s weird that they’re doling out safe-sex advice right? Unlike all the examples from the Alanis Morissette song, this is the actual definition of ironic, isn’t it?

2. Gotta love that this conversation takes place backstage at Dancing With The Stars and it basically begins with The Sitch propositioning “B. Palin,” and referring to the act of sex, their private parts and Bristol’s child as “situations.”

3. “For real.” “For real for real?” “For real for real for real for real.” “Wapaow!” “Snap!” The writing is so nuanced, you know? Not to mention the performances.

4. We have no problem with the slogan “Pause Before You Play” or the intent behind this PSA, but shortening it to “PBYP” is a little too “WWJD”, KWIM? Besides, kids today don’t watch commercials – that’s why fast-forward was invented.

Lea Michele Says Glee Cast Is So Comfy Together, They Just Let The Farts Fly

by (@hallekiefer)

lm-getty

We already know the cast of Glee is super comfortable getting half-naked with each other. But according to Glee’s Lea Michele, farting in front of each other has now become the norm too. That show gets more and more like our actual high school experience every day! Well, except for the excellent singing and good-looking people. Mainly just the farting, we guess.

Explains Michele, due to that exquisite level of comfort, any chemistry you seen during kisses between Cory Monteith and her character Rachel are purely of the gastronomical variety. Says Michele, “We’re such good friends that we’ve passed that level of weirdness. Cory farts in front of me.” So, passing one level of weirdness and going straight to another, smellier level. At least you don’t run the risk of another on-screen romance going wrong like Mark Salling and Naya Rivera, though you might have to slip on a gas mask from time to time.

Explains Lea, “I see the people in the tabloids, the ones that get bad press, who have kind of gone off the edge, and I try to study them so that I don’t do that.” Talking about a co-worker’s gas problems though? A-okay with us! Despite all the noxious fumes and irate parents surrounding the Gleeks, Lea knows it’s all worth it, saying “There is some bad stuff that comes with this kind of popularity. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the next thing I know, we’re jumping on mattresses, having slushies thrown at us—or just having fun with each other. It really does make everything OK.” Aw! Even if we have to pinch our noses around you, we think you Glee kids are just too cute! [Photos: Getty Images]

The Internet In Reverse: An Antoine Dodson A Capella Video

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For almost five years now this is how it’s worked as far as a Capella web videos go: Some a Capella group does a genuinely impressive or funny cover of a song, it gets posted to YouTube and then it goes viral. But what we have here is a video that went viral, got seen on YouTube by an a Capella group and then got covered by that a Capella group. Below is an NYU group called N’Harmonics covering the Antoine Dodson “hid your kids, hide your wife” auto tune thing.

This would be like if somebody saw a movie and then wrote an epic novel based on that movie. Guys, you’re doing it backwards.

Thank you, Eliot Glazer at Urlesque.

The Taylor Swift Being Surprised Megamix

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Taylor Swift acts surprised a lot. You may think you know that she acts surprised a lot, but whatever your definition of “a lot” is, she acts surprised more often than that. She acts surprised A LOT. Like, all caps a lot. She acts surprised constantly, by everything, in all caps.

The proof? Check out the following “Taylor Swift Acting Surprised” Supercut from the exhaustive hand of VH1 Blog / FourFour editor Rich Juzwiak:

(via The Fab Life)

Ke$ha Says No To “Nazi” Dancers On Australia’s X Factor

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It may be hard to believe, but Ke$ha does have limits. Fashion crimes, NSFW photos and poop-pranks are all well and good, but Nazi dancers? Not cool!! The singer reportedly freaked Sunday when she learned her back-up dancers on the Australian X Factor were going to wear military jackets with red armbands. “The costumes that had been supplied locally had the dancers wearing red armbands, and Ke$ha was concerned that they looked like Nazi Uniforms,” said a Sony spokesperson. “Ke$ha requested [the armbands] be removed.” The Aussie dancers swear the armbands were just for a “military” vibe, which seems a little naive. Then again, this is the country that made Harry Connick Jr. watch a minstrel routine on prime-time TV. Watching the performance above, it’s easy to see how those red stripes would change the tone—without them, it looks like she’s leading a group of sexy airplane pilots.

This isn’t the only smart move Ke$ha’s made recently, check out a hilarious video she made for Funny or Die about her pre-fame years after the jump.

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