Photos: Rob And Kristen Have Legs, Know How To Use Them

by (@katespencer)

rob-kristen-paraty

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are in Brazil (duh) filming the sexiest scenes of Breaking Dawn (duh). This we all know. But yesterday’s shoot at the romantic Isle Esme waterfall provided us with a peak of something we aren’t privy to that often: Robert Pattinson’s legs. Now Kristen, as we all know, should be voted Lady With the Hottest Legs in the Universe. For serious – that girl has gams and regardless of if they’re in skinny jeans or a mini, they always look fierce. Are we fangirling hard enough for you guys yet?

But Rob – we hardly ever get to see what he’s packing below, uh, what he’s packing. Correct us if we’re wrong, but the last time we saw him flash some leg was back in the Remember Me days, when Rob and Emilie de Ravin shot those make-out scenes at the beach. That was a year and a half ago, so you can understand the celebratory mood we’re in today. Sure, Breaking Dawn is the Twilight movie with the most sex (well, with sex, period) but let us here-by declare it the Twilight movie with the most leg!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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World’s Tiniest Car? Or World’s Largest Wind Up Toy?

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This car is the Guiness Book of World Records holder for tiniest functioning car. A Brit named Perry Watkins designed it, and that’s him gleefully enjoying his cramped quarters. It has a license to drive on public streets and it’s 41 inches high, 51 inches long and only 26 inches wide. It can drive 60 kph and has seat belts. Imagine taking that thing on the autobahn? Eeegs. You can see more pics here.

Tiny things! They tend to be cute, yes? NO! This car makes me claustrophobic just by looking at it. My neck hurts. However, if you look at it as a giant wind up toy then, well, it’s not much better. Also scary.

Remember how the rich kids on the street used to have tiny toy cars that drove? I think there was a Barbie car? Yes, there was. Here it is:

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Robert Downey Jr. Makes His Mr. Peanut Debut

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Remember earlier this week when the internet was all, “Robert Downey Jr. will be the new voice of Mister Peanut!” and we were like, “Does Mister Peanut have a voice? Is he even still alive? And if he is, isn’t he a pretentious, classist New Yorker cartoon turned arrogant nut spokesperson? Who cares?” We all said exactly those sentences in order.

The wait* is over! Here is Robert Downey Jr.’s first commercial as Mister Peanut. It’s no Satan’s Alley, but it’s actually pretty cool-looking:

* By “wait” I mean, hearing of the RDJ news and going “hrm, ok” then going about your daily life completely unaffected then this commercial coming out.

Daniel Radcliffe Says Emma Watson Makes Out Like A Wild Animal

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Do go on.

Daniel Radcliffe stopped by British chat-show Daybreak yesterday to promote the upcoming Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows film. Soon the discussion turned to his onscreen kiss with costar Emma Watson, and according to Dan-Rad, mackin’ it with Hermione was kind of intimidating. In fact, he says she “ambushed” him.

“I always thought it was going to be this soft sensual sort of moment,” he spilled. “And suddenly there was this vigorous kissing happening to me. She is a bit of an animal…But then, I’m not complaining. There are tens of thousands of men that would cut off limbs to be in that position.”

Hmmm, “Always thought?” Vigorous kissing? Sounds like they’ve wanted to do this for a loooooong time. But what do we know. Reportedly fellow Hogwarts alum Rupert Grint had to be leave the room during the scene because he was laughing so hard. Yeah right. They probably just wanted some alone time…

[Photo: Images]

If Ellen Degeneres Gives You A Free Car, Try Not To Attack Her

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Ellen Degeneres and her talk show institution The Ellen Degeneres Show has started a new program called “Volunteer of the Month Club,” where people who dedicate their lives to helping others are rewarded with a pretty nice plaque and some precious time on daytime television.

But this being Ellen Muthaf*ckin Degeneres, she’s not just gonna let that volunteer walk off the stage with something as undrivable as a wall plaque. Oh no. Ellen has big plans for this young lady. Plans that include a new car and a boatload of cash. And this young lady and her family does what we would probably all do: Go insanity bananas and attack Ellen.

So keep in mind, if you’re chosen as El-Degen’s Volunteer of the Month: Freak out! But try not to kill the poor woman.

What Do You Buy The Penis That Has Everything?

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It’s almost Christmas. And you know what that means: Finding the perfect gift for that very special penis in your life. Penises give and give and give throughout the hole year, but very rarely ask for anything in return.

And what better time than the holiday season to repay the peen for it’s thankless work? No better time. Only, if your penis happens to be from a top tax bracket, it might already have everything it needs. Until now.

Introducing The Tuggie: A Snuggie for your Penis.

It’s winter time! And even penises get cold. Plus, with the wide-array of fabrics it comes in (har), there’s a Tuggie perfect for every occasion. Plus plus, it’s only $9.50. Ten bucks!! For the price of a movie ticket, you can keep your loved ones penis warm for many months. Now all they need to do is make a 30 second commercial with this guy modeling his Tuggie set to the sweet tunes of the Macarena.

Keep on reading for the NSFW version, and the tasteful pattern they’ve wrapped it in…

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Katy Perry: Bicycle Ninja

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While hubby Russell Brand hobnobs with the Royals and other famous Britons in London, Katy Perry is taking a decidedly more low-key approach to her week by going on a casual bike ride in New York City. Did we say casual? We meant totally awesome ninja-style ride. Hard to believe the black-clad cyclist expertly negotiating the city’s potholes and taxi doors is the same girl who shoots whipped cream and fireworks from her boobs.

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[Photos: /Splash News Online]

Tom Hanks’ First Official Awesome Conan Interview

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“You have taken the late night chat show format and blown it out of the water…unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”

Indeed, Tom Hanks sitting down for an interview with Conan is about the most predictable, not in any way different from the last 20 years of Conan thing we’d expect to see on the new Conan TBS show, but not surprisingly, Hanks was really really funny in his first appearance (TBS: Tom Hanks Is Usually Very Funny). So funny, in fact, that the segment retroactively made Episode 1′s Seth Rogen interview all the more awkward:

The second episode of Conan was, as a whole, much funnier than the good-but-standard first one, featuring an enjoyably stupid bit with a TBS censor, Jack McBrayer as the second guest, and a gradual but welcome phasing out of the obligatory NBC jokes. I stand by my predictable assessment from Monday night — Conan’s TBS show isn’t groundbreaking nor attempting to be groundbreaking, but it’ll comfortably join the ranks of The Daily Show and Colbert as a reliable nightly thing to optionally flip to when you’re stalling work/sleep.

I just wish people would do some more constant reporting on his ratings versus Leno’s, because that is what I enjoy the most.

Oprah Pays Homeless Man Handsomely For His Good Joke

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Remember in the beginning of Back to the Future 2 when Biff, as a homeless man, asks Marty McFly for one hundred dollars and Marty’s all like, “Wha!? No! That’s a lot of money!” Except he’s wrong, because one hundred dollars is JUST SPARE CHANGE in the FUTURE! Well, here we are. In the future. And Oprah, of course, has confirmed this.

Reports The NY Post:

Julio Bazan, 49, told The Post that Oprah was sitting in her limo in front the Soho House hotel Sunday night when he approached her. The billionaire TV queen said she had no money and showed him her empty purse, he said.

The hustler said he then joked, “Hey, Oprah, why is it good to date a homeless man? [Because] when you’re finished, you can drop him off anywhere.”

“She laughed,” Bazan said — and then gave him five $20 bills through the window.

Bazan said he spent the cash on booze, underwear and a steak dinner.

We now know three things: First, Oprah is a liar. She had the money. Even though she initially said that she didn’t.

Second: Read more…