Terminator 2 Star Edward Furlong Ordered To Stay Away From Wife

by (@hallekiefer)

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Even though Christian Bale blew it big time in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, we thought we’d have at least one John Connor who wouldn’t ruin our childhood memories with his knock-off Batman voice. Unfortunately, our youthful innocent is being tainted in a completely different and horrible way as news emerges that Los Angeles authorities have issued Terminator 2′s Edward Furlong a restraining order to stay away from wife Rachel Kneeland. Though rumors of Edward Furlong’s divorce from his actress wife popped up over a year ago, the couple is inexplicably still only separated. You know how you have paper work you’re always meaning to do, and you keep forgetting, then all of a sudden you have to get a restraining order against your spouse? Let this be a lesson to us all.

The 3-year restraining order came after Kneeland reported to authorities that Furlong drove past her home incessantly and refused to take a drug-test before seeing their kid. Ho boy. That news, combined with the fact that Furlong has basically morphed into a broke-down Pee-wee Herman, is pretty much the most terrifying thing we could possibly imagine. The order states that Furlong cannot contact his wife via email or telephone, own any handguns, or consume alcohol or drugs 12 hours prior to his visitations with the couple’s son Ethan. Though you know what they say about restraining orders: if you need one, there’s probably not much hope you’re actually going to listen to one. Because you are super crazy. [Photo: Wire Image]

Kanye Still Upset That Taylor Swift Never Defended Him (Seriously.)

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Kanye West took some time off last year to clear his head and realize that his behavior is often dickish. But now that he’s back in the limelight, the rapper might be more dickish than ever. Last night, during a concert in New York, West slammed Taylor Swift for not defending him after he screwed her over at the VMAs last year. It begs the question “Why should she?” but that never seems to enter Kanye’s mind.

West also told the crowd at the Bowery Ballroom that he let his emotions run wild when he made the Hurricane Katrina comment about George Bush hating black people, and said:

I was emotional, that was not exactly the way I wanted to say, I was emotional, that was not exactly the way I wanted to word it, but I wrote it, I rode it, just as Taylor never came to my defense in any interview, and rode the waves and rode it and rode it, that’s the way I rode the waves of the Bush comment.

Sorry, bud, but we’re pretty sure Taylor Swift didn’t feel the need to defend you because you were an a-hole to her. Is that so hard to believe? We’re also pretty sure that Taylor (whose earnestness can be annoying, we’ll give you that) was not trying to ride anything. Your actions made a lot of people side with her because she’s a decent person. So yeah, that was all on you.

Full video of the rant against Taylor and his own emotions is after the jump. What do you think, is he justified or just being crazy Kanye yet again?

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Angelina Jolie Boycotts Thanksgiving, But It Will Probably Happen Anyway

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Thanksgiving Grinch Alert! Angelina Jolie is apparently refusing to let her family take part in any Thanksgiving festivities this year, because she believes the holiday to be “a story of murder.”  So now Thursday will just be another day in Bosnia for the Jolie-Pitt clan, where Angelina is filming her directorial debut. In fact, she deliberately scheduled filming to ensure that she would be out of the country on the day.

“Angelina Jolie hates this holiday and wants no part in rewriting history like so many other Americans,” an friend told Popeater‘s Rob Shuter. “To celebrate what the white settlers did to the native Indians, the domination of one culture over another, just isn’t her style. She definitely doesn’t want to teach her multi-cultural family how to celebrate a story of murder. She gets so grossed out by Thanksgiving that she has made sure her family will not be in America this year on Thursday.”

Angie, Angie, Angie. You got it all wrong. Thanksgiving isn’t a celebration of genocide (well, maybe turkey genocide). It’s a celebration of the vast array of pies that are available in this great land! Whole families are brought together each year to exchange and compare pies. Then they will begin to argue over which flavor pie is the best, leading to fight at the dinner table about why the hell Aunt Sheila made rhubarb pie instead of pecan pie, because no one ever eats the damn rhubarb pie. And then sweet potatoes will be thrown, and you’ll remember why you only see your family once a year. It’s called tradition, Angelina!

[Photo: Images]

50 Photos Of Terrifying Turkey Costumes

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This Thursday, when you’re chowing down on as many yams and giblets as your own intestinal lining can hold, try very, very hard not to think of the following list. Because the next thing you know, the tryptophan will hit, and as your eyelids grow heavy, you’ll be hearing the faint whispers of a distorted gobble-gobble as any one of these 50 turkey-bedecked people or things will climb out of your subconscious and ruin your Thanksgiving. Here we go!*

50.

49.

48.


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Someone Warn Her Boyfriend: Halle Berry Wants More Kids!

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Custody fights, schmustody fights—time is running out! Halle Berry told the New York Post that she’s quite prepared to give baby daughter Nahla a sibling. “I’d love more children. I’m 44, so who knows how much longer I can wait?” We sure hope she let new boyfriend Olivier Martinez know about that ticking clock before they hooked up on the set of Dark Tide. After all, she just ended a four year relationship with model Gabriel Aubry, Nahla’s daddy, earlier this year.

Not that she necessarily needs Martinez help to make a new baby happen. With Aubry reportedly cranky about Halle’s rebound, it might be easier to get sole custody of Baby No. 2 before she or he is born. It’s a common choice among the members of the Baby Collecting Oscar Winner’s Club, which it sounds like Halle would be happy to join.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Will A $320 Toilet Seat Help Rupert Grint Put Harry Potter Behind Him?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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The cast of the Harry Potter films all reacted differently to the end of the series. For example, Emma Watson famously cut her hair and Daniel Radcliffe had an identity crisis. But Rupert Grint is reportedly adjusting to post-Potter life by buying a $320 toilet seat. But before you get all bent out of shape, just wait: not only does it have a heated seat, electronic lid action and a bidet built right in, but he bought it DUTY FREE! So when we put it that way, you can see that it’s a steal, right?

Rupert was seen with his new purchase while passing through London’s Heathrow Airport today. He had just returned from Japan, where he bought the space age commode. Will it help him move on? Or will he stand in his bathroom a lot, screaming “Expecto Patronum!” and pretending it’s magic when he presses the automatic lid button? “No look, I really am a wizard,” he will tell lady friends, “But my skills only apply to plumbing fixtures.” And then he will make a lame joke about his “magic wand” before heading off to the bedroom. You can’t put a price on a magic toilet seat; but if you could, $320 seems about right.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Dutch So You Think You Can Dance Will Make You All Like, “Wait, WHAT?!”

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You’re really really not going to understand what is going on here. You’re going to feel confused and nervous, and, if you’re not already home, you’re going to want to go home. This may or may not be real. It also may or may not be safe for work. YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL IF IT’S SAFE FOR WORK! Are nylon pants penis outlines safe for work? What if they’re fake? BUT WHAT IF THEY’RE NOT? Get ready to start wondering. The following is a clip from the Dutch version of So You Think You Can Dance. (But seriously, this might not be safe for your work because of a grotesque nylon pants penis outline.)

What do we do now? What is there left for us to say to each other? “I think I have to go home now.” – All of us.

Thanks, The Daily What?

The 5 Most Childish Charlie Sheen Flirt Texts

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TMZ, you’ve earned a golden wacky sound effects machine today for your coverage of the Charlie Sheen / Capri Anderson text message exchange, in which Sheen offers to pay her $20,000 a few hours after the infamous for some reason Plaza Hotel incident.

Below, the 5 best texts from the TMZ report (there’s only 5 texts total, but they’re all the best), which confirm my suspicions that Charlie Sheen is, in fact, a millionaire twelve-year-old, not unlike the one in Blank Check if he used more clubbing jargon:

#1 – “All I need is an Acct number etc and I will wire u 20k if u think that will cover everything … I really feel bad, u are as cool and sexy and as sweet and fun and friendly as they get!”

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Michael Lohan And Tila Tequila Wish Tiger’s Mistress A Happy Birthday!

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While some are glad to hear that Lindsay Lohan is back in contact with father Michael, but we’re a little concerned about the company he keeps. Deadbeat Daddy took fiancee (and former Jon Gosselin lover) Kate Major to Joslyn James‘ birthday party at the House Of Blues in LA yesterday, where the pair chatted up with fellow guest Tila Tequila. “Obviously, I know Tila Tequila from her brilliant reality show work and promising musical career,” you might be saying, “but why does Joslyn James’ name sound so familiar?” Well, confused reader, James made the news after teaming with celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred and releasing a bounty of graphic sex texts from Tiger Woods. Yes, she’s the one Tiger “would love to have the ability to make sore”…though a surrogate in her Tiger-themed porn video had to do the job instead.

It might be awkward to see Papa living it up with these lovely ladies while she suffers through outpatient rehab, but it’s not like Michael has forgotten about his little girl. TMZ says he dropped off a Mercedez Benz convertible at her sober house to celebrate the renewal of her driver’s license. Wait a second, isn’t mom Dina always complaining that Michael owes child support? How exactly did he pay for this thing?

See photos from Joslyn’s birthday jamboree in the gallery below.

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