Bobby Bottleservice Goes To Africa To End Malaria, Not Make Out With Dudes

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Nick Kroll’s world-traveled Ed Hardy Boyz character Bobby Bottleservice doesn’t just club and not make out with dudes ever — he also gives back, by traveling to Africa to raise awareness for Malarianomore.org. And to build a club. And to continue not making out with dudes. It was a productive trip, to say the least:

Is It Over For Beauty And The Beef?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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It’s a tale as old as time: boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy throws coffee at a photographer. We’ve  heard reports that Carey Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf are over, leaving incredibly boring couples all over the world without a role model. Although last spotted at the premiere of Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps last month, the New York Post says that two have hardly spent any time together since.

The Beef has been in Washington D.C. filming Transformers 3 with not-Megan-Fox bombshell Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, while Carey’s been spending time in London doing press for Never Let Me Go. But did she let Shia go? Are they just busy? Does anybody care? Guys?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Kanye’s Banned Album Cover (NSFW?)

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Kanye West recently Tweeted the artwork for his upcoming album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, saying it’s already been banned in the U.S.:

The controversial album cover is after the jump. I’m not sure if it counts as NSFW – depends on whether or not you work with a bunch of uptight cartoon harpies:

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Being President Just As Awesome As You Thought It Was As A Kid

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Remember how much you wanted to be president when you were a kid? In fact, you wanted to be a fireman/rabbi/veterinarian/president.  Sort of like Plato’s philosopher king, but with first aid training, Jews, and puppies.  It doesn’t seem as good of an idea now though, the whole being president thing.  There are people dying all over the place, all the money is missing and apparently the planet is melting. Turns out, there’s a relatively small amount of time you get to commit as president towards making soda come out of water fountains. But, there is still one very awesome thing about being president. You get to call up television and tell it what you want on television. From the New York Times Online:

In an episode of “Mythbusters” on the Discovery Channel to be shown on Dec. 8, President Obama will help determine whether the Greek scientist Archimedes really set fire to an invading Roman fleet using only mirrors and the reflected rays of the sun.

“Mythbusters” has already tried to test this myth. In 2006, with the help of some students from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the show declared the myth “busted” because it took far too long for any reflected light to ignite a fire on a distant ship.

But apparently, Mr. Obama wants them to try again.

“Did Greek scientist and polymath Archimedes set fire to an invading Roman fleet using only mirrors and the reflected rays of the sun?” a press release for the show asks. “Will Adam and Jamie be able to pull this off, or will they have to report back to the president that they failed?”

That is great. Now, obviously, this is P.R. and a thing that went through the press secretary’s office, but it’s much more fun to imagine Obama watching that original episode of Mythbusters and being like, “Nope! No, not satisfied. Call the Mythbusters and have them redo the ship-mirror-fire thing. I am a president.”

Wait, hold on, guys. I’m getting a phone call. Oh, it’s Obama. He wants me to post that Mythbusters GIF. Dude’s getting a little micro-manage-y with the presidential perks.

The Cast of Man Men Still Enormously Attractive at Finale Party

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Hey, guess what? The cast of Mad Men are still the most attractive grouping of people ever assembled outside the pages of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. Seriously, they could wear tablecloths and curtains like in The Sound of Music and they’d still turn the red carpet red hot.

Last night Jon Hamm looked his Don Draper-y best in a dark suit as he attended the Season 4 finale screening in New York. Elisabeth Moss rocked a loose-fitting flapper inspired dress that transformed her into a 1920s film starlet. Cara Buono went more gypsy-chic in a flowing green cocktail tail dress and tasseled necklace, while Christina Hendricks proved that a rose by any other name would still look amazing.

We hope this show goes for another ten years, because we can’t wait to see how these folks rock the platform shoes and leisure suits.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Whitney Sucks Face, Looks Smokin’ In Waikiki

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While spending a long weekend in Hawaii, Ben Nemtin couldn’t keep his hands off girlfriend Whitney Port. Can you blame him? The City star looked supermodel-perfect in her cute retro bikini as the lovey-dovey duo strolled Waikiki Beach. More shots of Port and her mile-long legs below. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Evil Genius Harry Potter Worth More Than British Royals

by (@JordanRuntagh)

It’s official: Harry the Wizard has got more dough than Harry the Windsor. It’s just been announced that Daniel Radcliffe’s personal fortune has surpassed that of Prince William and Prince Harry. Next up, he plans to buy Canada. OK, that’s not true, but apparently the boy wizard is also a financial wizard, doubling his fortune in the past year.

According to accounts reported in the Daily Mail, Radcliffe is worth about $45 million, to the Princes’ $44 million. He has around $30 million tied in up “current and fixed investments”, and owns several properties in London and New York. Oh yeah? Well we’ve got a bunch of returnable bottles and cans to take back to the supermarket and you don’t hear us bragging about it.

This announcement comes on the heals of Radcliffe’s proposed sexual conquering of Broadway. Will he stop at nothing!? Although at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter how much cash Dan Rad has, because someday Wills is going to be king and could totally have him burned as a witch or something. So it all evens out.

[Photo: Images]

Biggest Mad Men Shocker: Lane Pryce Showing Up In Walking Dead Promo

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During the credits of last night’s Mad Men season finale, AMC ran a promo for its upcoming show Walking Dead which featured the Mad Men actors out-of-character talking about their love of horror movies. After several back-and-forth comments by Jon Hamm, Christina Hendricks, and Elisabeth Moss, Jared Harris (Lane) showed up for one second to creepily say “And then you can’t sleep!” and make this face:

Ahh! I did not see that twist coming. Probably the second biggest twist of the episode, after Carla being relieved of her duties. Still completely floored by that turn of events.

Pauly D Will Not Be Fired By Donald Trump

by (@missmuttoo)

Can you tell a guido from Joisy that he’s fired? Hells to the no. That’s what Pauly D told Donald Trump, apparently. The Donald supposedly offered the Jersey Shore DJ a spot on the fourth season of The Celebrity Apprentice and got dee-nied!

Pauly D has his own spin-off show already in the works and he’s going to focus on making money, money, money (to buy t-shirts for T-Shirt Time, obvs). The Celeb-App dudes turned to Li’l Jon to fill in Pauly’s spot… and we never thought we’d ever type sentence like that. Ever.

Question is… how many shades of purple did Trump’s face turn when he found out he had been turned down by someone from the Jersey Shore? We’re guessing it was an eggplant-ish hue.


Bieber Innocent In Beat-Down, Homophobic Slurs Involved

by (@missmuttoo)

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Justin Bieber beating up a 12-year-old boy doesn’t sound likely, at all. But that’s what’s been splashed all over the news over the weekend, after the kid (we mean the 12-year-old, not the Biebs) claimed that Justin hit him at a laser-tag joint in Canada (which is, incidentally, Bieber-land). The debate also raged about whether the “hit” was accidental or not.

But this is Justin Bieber. Every fiber in our body believes that he is all things good and pure… like candy, unicorns and, erm, Kim Kardashian. TMZ confirmed our suspicions that the singer was innocent, revealing that Bieber was bullied by the kid and not the other way around. While that would normally make us kinda giggle (c’mon, it’s a little funny), what is definitely not amusing is the fact that the 12-year-old used some pretty hateful homophobic cusses.

The singer was doin’ his thang at the tag center, shown in the picture, when the kid decided to make his life hell. He kept cornering and tagging the Biebs constantly, which isn’t exactly gentlemanly in the first place. But when Bieber put his foot down and said, “That’s enough”… the response was shocking. This 12-year-old boy apparently said, “What are you gonna do about it, fa**ot?” WHAT. Oh NO he didn’t. Sadly, if the news is correct… he did.

And it didn’t end there because when Bieber, understandably thrown off replied, “Excuse me?” the little dude added, “You’re a fa**ot.” He supposedly reached out towards the Biebs who pushed his hand away and left.

What the frack? If the report is true it is disturbing on so many levels. Especially considering the fact that there has been a spate of suicides over bullying and gay-bashing all over the news recently.

UPDATE: Apparently, the police have concluded that Bieber was not at fault. It’s being said that the singer is going to to join the anti-bullying campaign (as early as next week, supposedly) because he feels people should know what happened and learn from the incident.

[Photo: Splash News Online]