Demi Lovato Was “Partying” Night Before Fight With Dancer

by (@missmuttoo)

We’re really feeling for Demi Lovato. Since the start of her rehab stint, so much disturbing information had been emerging ranging from her alleged cutting and eating disorder to her horrific experiences with bullying in middle school. And honestly, dealing with an ex-boyfriend is hard enough, but to go with him on tour and his new girlfriend? Super harsh!

People is reporting that Demi apparently got into a physical altercation with a female dancer, which was the motivation for her going to rehab. Their source explains, “As she did on most nights off, Demi invited her band, dancers and her parents to dinner. Afterward, she broke off with a very small group. When tour management found out about this, they talked to the people involved, including Demi. Demi reacted badly and perceived that someone on tour had told on her.” The story also reports that her stepdad, Eddie De La Garza, wasn’t too happy with the night’s events, because the Demi and her small entourage had been partying.

Our question is, what exactly did the partying involve? We’re not trying to imply anything here, but for someone to get pissed off because she was getting some downtime, sounds a little suspicious to us. The spy doesn’t really explain what the “very small group” got up to, and why her handlers got so pissed at the 18-year-old. And for her to then fly off the handle like that at the dancer (Demi felt that she had told on them), is again, kinda weird. So what actually went down that night to have invited such an adverse reaction?

That Was Close! Angelina Pivarnick’s Song Will Not Be Unleashed On The World

by (@missmuttoo)

Have faith in the universe peeps, and it will not let you down. Just two days ago, news broke that Kim Kardashian was recording an album.  And then we remembered, with shock and horror, that the Jersey Shore‘s Angelina Pivarnick was cutting a track, as well.

We started praying as hard as we could. Because another Paris Hilton-esque catastrophe needed to be avoided at all costs. Looks like *they* listened because  Angelina’s song is a no-go. Hallelujah!

Guess what the magnus opus was called… I’m Hot. It’s like two degrees of separation from Paris Hilton’s That’s Hot! The reason why it’s being canned is because the slap-happy Joisy girl reckons she isn’t being reimbursed properly for her efforts. Read: no cash from her producer Andy Stein, who denies her claim, saying, “I agreed to give [Angelina] exactly what she asked for.”

But we know what the real reason is, right? *Gazes up at the sky in thankful adoration*

Kanye West Is Sorry For Being Mean To George Bush

by (@missmuttoo)

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Kanye West feels you, George Bush. It’s time to let go of the pain! Before you WTF us, guys, let us explain. See now, Bush is a sensitive ol’ soul, who was hurt by big ol’ meanie Kanye calling him racist. Whilst being interviewed by Matt Lauer, he revealed, “He called me a racist. And I didn’t appreciate it then. I don’t appreciate it now. It’s one thing to say, ‘I don’t appreciate the way he’s handled his business.’ It’s another thing to say, ‘This man’s a racist.’ I resent it, it’s not true.”

All together now… Awww. And now would be the correct time to interject a WTF, too. Because of everything Bush could have talked about (read: apologized for), the man decided to talk about how his presidential morale was rocked by a rapper.

But Kanye, on the other hand, is turning a new leaf y’all. He may have dumped Louis Vuitton for Lanvin, but at least he’s sorry for it. He even apologized to Taylor Swift for ruining one of her many award moments (time to get over that one). And he’s sorry for the trauma he inflicted on G.B saying, “I definitely can understand the way he feels, to be accused of being a racist in any way, because the same thing happened to me, where I got accused of being a racist.”

Kanye can never be done in a couple of sentences, so he added, “For both situations, it was basically a lack of compassion that America felt in that situation. With him, it was a lack of compassion of him not rushing, him not taking the time to rush down to New Orleans. For me, it was a lack of compassion of cutting someone off in their moment. But nonetheless, I think we’re all quick to pull a race card in America. And now I’m more open, and the poetic justice that I feel, to have went through the same thing that he went [through] — and now I really more connect with him on just a humanitarian level.”

OMG. Kanye and George Bush? BFF? Totes going to happen. And Kanye, we know you’re being more “open” and all that. Just don’t say you’re connecting with George Bush. Ever.

[Photos: Getty Images]


Prepare For Your Mind To Be Blown: Katy Perry Almost Opted For A Breast Reduction

by (@hallekiefer)

Get ready to pick your  eyebrow off the top off your forehead, because according a new interview Katy Perry once considered breast reduction. Says Perry, as a 13-year-old, “I had really bad back problems and was a little bit thicker. Then I grew up and lost the baby fat and said, ‘Hey, this isn’t all that bad.’” Wow, and to think: Katy could have ended up some boring ol’ nuclear physicist if she had gone through with reducing her jiggle. Thank the gods she didn’t take them down a cup size; how would adolescent boys know when to enter puberty? From whence would the nation’s breast-mounted whip cream lasers flow? Imagining the possibilities is like It’s A Wonderful Life, but with nipples. Seriously though, Katy, America needs those jugs almost as much as your career needs them. Well, everywhere in America except Sesame Street.

When chatting about the fitted clothes worn during a photo shoot, Katy explained, “I’ll tell you about my boobs and fashion. It can be hard to wear those looks because they’re best on people who have no curves or thighs. I don’t have a Kate Moss body, but I’m very proud and happy with mine.” Ah yes, how hard it must be to be happy with KATY PERRY’S PERFECT  BODY. What a struggle Perry must go through each morning as she pulls on a new latex minidress and faces the new day. Seriously, we just gained 5 pounds of rage weight just thinking about it (admission: it was actually from eating fudge).

Though…would you mind if we pointed out the elephant in the room here? Or rather, the two saline elephants jammed into the skin-tight rhinestone bustier? Are we honestly supposed to believe that Perry was just naturally build like Jessica Rabbit without a boost from a medical profession? IT CANNOT BE TRUE.  Now if you’ll excuse us, this rage fudge isn’t going to eat itself.

Don Draper Says “What?” 46 Times, Might Be Secretly Deaf

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Some mental genius decided to string together all of Don Draper’s (Jon Hamm) various interpretations of the word “What?” over the last few seasons of Mad Men.

He says it a total of 46 times, although given the amount of bourbon we’ve had today, we could be off. (That’s a joke referring to the amount of alcohol the people on Mad Men drink while at work. I don’t even like bourbon! What? That bottle of brown liquor? It’s syrup. Syrup! Mind your own f**king business. What? — and scene.)

Either Don Draper needs things to be repeated in order for him to fully understand their meaning, or our little handsome baby in a business suit is hard of hearing. If it turns out that he is actually deaf, and that this entire season is really the story of the son from There Will Be Blood, well then someone get out the silver polish, because I’m pretty sure there’s a Cable Ace Award awaiting me in the very near future.

And now, Don Draper saying what in 46 different ways:

What Would Don Draper Do? What? Exactly.

(via Warming Glow)

The Tom Cruise Crotch Shot You’ve Waited Your Whole Life For

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Tom Cruise is in Dubai filming Mission Impossible: 4. Tom Cruise is finding the work to be very strenuous but satisfying. Sadly, Tom Cruise is not taking into consideration the fact that his crotch has a horrendous fear of heights:

It’s shrunken into the size of a newborn kangaroo, people. Don’t see MI:4 for Tom. See it out of respect for his crotch.

Full sized pic ahead. Pun. INTENDED LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

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Tiger Woods And Phil Mickelson Swordfight With Creepy Happiness

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This miiiiiight be a promotional photo-op, as Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson appear to be happier about holding swords near each other than any actual person has ever been about anything.

Reminds me of when Tim Allen got caught for his like 9th drug arrest then filmed The Santa Clause and every scene was him kissing a baby while thumbs-upping into the camera and winking and his eye would gleam. I have a photographic memory.

After the jump, one additional picture of Tiger Woods and his fellow golfers holding swords and definitely quoting Highlander:

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Lady Gaga Wears Sensible Bikram Yoga Outfit

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What does Lady Gaga don when attending a Bikram yoga class in London? If you guess Lulu Lemon

You’re right!! They make neoprene horse hoof boots, right? No? Oh.

Has anyone made the case that this might not even be Lady Gaga? She could just have a team of slightly large-nosed girls from Long Island putting on acid-tripped nun costumes and going to Bikram Yoga classes all over the world!

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmygod.

Hilarious close-up ahead:

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All Hail The Hova In 2016?

by (@hallekiefer)

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It’ll be Jay-Z For President after Barack leaves office, at least if Hov has anything to say about it. Says Jay-Z about his aspirations beyond being a hiphop legend: “Give me a chance. Maybe in eight years, I’ll be the president.” And why not? Plenty of former performers have had a political career later in life: Sonny Bono, Ronald Reagan, Justin Bieber. O sorry, we were just gazing into the future there for a second.

But before we can (finally) call Beyonce the First Lady, Jay-Z isn’t ready to give up on President Obama just yet. Says Jay-Z, “In order to judge someone, you have to judge what they inherit. He inherited the worst economy, war, just a horrible time in American history. So if we think he can solve that, I mean, we don’t think he’s God, do we. He’s a human being. He’s going to need time to figure that out.” Um…if things are bad now, imagine how dire they might be in the next decade? Jay-Z will literally have 99 problems, though a bitch will not be one. Unless of course you count every individual person in the Tea Party, in which case there will be A LOT.

Says Jay-Z, “In order to get to that sort of success and that dream, you have to go through some peaks and valleys. It’s been two years.” We hope Jay turns out to be every bit the stellar leader we imagine he would be. And if not, don’t blame us: we voted for Bieber. [Photo: Getty Images]