20 Most Bananas Photos of Single David Arquette

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After the break up of a serious relationship, both parties are of course sad. This period of mourning can last for a while or a short time, but when it ends, it dawns on both that they are SINGLE and ready to SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH SINGLE. In other words, time to party. David Arquette, more than anyone else, ever, knows how to do this. This is the light that has been hidden under Courtney Cox’s proverbial basket…until now. Here, in no particular order, David’s predilection for wacky fun and hanging out with little people (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

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Christian Bale Has Gone Full Pirate

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Here is Christian Bale at the premiere of The Fighter last night, sporting straight up Canadian hockey player hair. Hmm…. nnnnope, I hate it. He looks like a beefy Disney villain. No, no, I like my Bales alllll bones:

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Jailbound Wesley Snipes Still Hoping For A Christmas Miracle

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Supreme Court, Santa Claus…anyone want to help this guy? Wesley Snipes told Larry King Live last night that he hasn’t given up on evading his three-year prison sentence for tax evasion. “We still have prayers out there, Larry, and we believe in miracles,” said the Passenger 57 star. “Don’t send me up the river, yet.” Wesley is scheduled to be sent up the river Thursday, more than two and a half years after his sentencing.

Snipes, who still argues his accountants and handlers hold all the blame for his negligence (“the system seems to not be working for me”), previously put in a request to stay out of jail until 2011, because…you know, the holidays! Denying Snipes’ Christmas wish, the court noted he has had since 2008 to “put his affairs in order.” “The sooner he begins his sentence,” said Judge Scrooge, “the sooner it will end.” What a humbug!

Michael Lohan Presents: Lindsay’s Conception

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Hey guys, wanna know how Lindsay Lohan was conceived?! No? Well too bad, because Michael Lohan is feelin’ talky. Big Mike officially jumped the shark yesterday on XM Radio’s Playboy Morning Show, telling us wayyy more than we wanted to know about the start of Lilo. Fittingly, the tabloid legend was created during a drug-addled hotel room romp.

“Dina and I were in Switzerland,” Michael told the host of the program. “It was the first time I ever smoked pot in my entire life.” He then “joked” that he was so high that he couldn’t leave his hotel for three days. “You’re stuck in a chalet for three days, so you’re going to have a lot of sex.” But Mike started to get shy when the host pushed for details on the position they were in when the magic moment occurred. “I don’t even want to go there…there are so many positions…actually probably on my hands and knees.” And in describing this, he ruined Mean Girls and The Parent Trap for us forever. That’s all for this week from TMI Corner!

[Photo: Images]

Glee‘s Chris Colfer Writing And Starring In His Own Movie

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Chris Colfer

Get ready to gleek out something fierce. Chris Colfer, better known as Kurt on Glee, is set to star in a film he wrote himself. According to Variety, Colfer plans to shoot Struck By Lightning during Glee‘s hiatus next summer, with David Permut (Youth In Revolt) handling the directorial duties. Not bad for a 20-year-old!

While a studio has yet to sign up to produce, it’s hard to believe someone won’t snap this up fast. “I was very impressed with how sophisticated Colfer’s writing is,” said Permut, comparing the script to a John Hughes movie. “He may be only 20 but he’s an old soul.” Speaking of “old soul,” we’re guessing Ducky will actually get to sing an Otis Redding song in this Pretty In Pink rather than lip sync.

[Photo: Getty Images]

SNL Power Rankings: Robert De Niro Makes January Jones Look Like Jon Hamm

by (@unclegrambo)

It’s fair to say that a lot of memorable things have happened in each and every one of our lives since December 18, 2004: Among other things, we elected the first African-American POTUS in the history of our country, we suffered through one of the worst financial crises in our nation’s history, and, of course, we learned about the mysterious origins of Justin Bieber’s tattoo. Which is to say that you’re totally forgiven if, over the course of the last six years, you forgot how bad of an SNL host Robert De Niro is. Don’t kick yourself with regret; after all, Lorne Michaels forgot, too!

Yes, that’s right, it’s been six long years since the last abominable Fockers movie lowbrowed its way into our nation’s movie theaters. And now, with Little Fockers just weeks from away from ruining the holidays for families everywhere, Robert De Niro showed up at Studio 8H to ruin that show, too. Exactly how disinterested was Bob in preparing for this week’s show? Well, he played “Robert De Niro” in three separate sketches, that’s how! He tripped over lines, his eyes rarely strayed from the cue cards, and the happiest he looked all night was when he hugged one of the Diddy Dirty Money girls as the credits were rolling*. Quite frankly, he made January Jones look like Jon Hamm!

But hey, the host is only one part of the show, right? No no no, we’re not going to discuss the manner in which Puff Puffy Diddy Daddy Combs embarrassed himself with his Grade-Z Kanye impression. Rather, now is the time of the week in which we (belatedly!) discuss how the cast performed this week with our SNL Power Rankings.

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NFL WEEK 13 RECAP: Hotels Skip This Week

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Your NFL Week 13 Recap, in the form of stupid pictures:

Browns 13, Dolphins 10

Miami’s playoff hopes are looking slim after this loss, though on the plus side, receiver Davone Bess finally perfected his Yoga Flame:

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Kim Kicks Halle’s Ex To the Curb, Already Dating A New Baller

by (@hallekiefer)

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Another week, another smoking-hot guy slobbering all over Kim Kardashian. To have that woman’s butt for just one day! Mere milliseconds after hearing that Kim and Gabriel Aubry broke up, we find out she’s has already moved on to a new equally devastating dude. Who’s allegedly Kardashian’s new boyfriend? New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries. Says an inside source to Life & Style, “Kim likes him much more than Gabriel. He’s normal, so much fun and cute. He’s perfect for what Kim wants right now, which is some fun dates and some fun times.” O that’s funny! “Fun times” is what we call “doing it,” too!

Says a source, “Kim feels like Gabriel was just using her for her fame,” adding that the 34-year-old Audry “is older than Kim is looking for… so she’s decided to stop seeing him.” Wow, a cougar at 30. You can’t see it, but we’re crying on single tear of pride. We guess if you’re Kim Kardashian, you can just dump a male model and not worry about finding another man. Or many, many other men. Remind us to lock our boyfriend in the basement tonight. [Photo: Getty/NBA.com]

The Jolie-Pitts Go Shopping, But We Just Want To Steal Shiloh

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Another day, another picture of the Jolie-Pitt family doing something adorable. Well, at least Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was being adorable while the rest of her family tried to go about their business. Shiloh, Zahara and Pax joined mama Angie at Lee’s Art Store to stock up on some supplies (we assume they plan to build the world’s greatest gingerbread house and put Martha Stewart to shame—they just seem like they’re capable of that, you know?) and Shiloh took the opportunity to mug for the cameras. We’re just smitten with this kid! On the other hand, Pax wanted nothing to do with any of the paparazzi riff-raff.

Check out the famous family out and about in NYC in our gallery.

View Photo Gallery

[Photos: Splash News Online]