Ke$ha Trades Day-Glow Dresses For A Day At The Beach

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Ke$ha hit up Australia’s gorgeous Bondi beach yesterday, looking positively demure by her standards in a zebra print skirt, shear tank top and black bra. It’s a far cry from the day glow Neon Warrior Princess getup she sported at the MTV European Video Music Awards on Sunday.

She and her friends strolled in the sand and soaked up the rays, as it’s actually summer in Australia right now. (crazy, right?) Everything is topsy-turvy in Australia: they drive on the opposite side of the road, their winter is our summer, and Ke$ha’s songs are actually listenable down there. Crikey.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Jason Mraz vs The Jonas Brothers In The Cuddliest Cage Match Ever

by (@hallekiefer)

In a conflict that’s been brewing on the back of middle schoolers’ locker doors for months, finally there is word that a Jason Mraz vs. Jonas Brothers beef is on like Donkey Kong, an epic fight bound to enrage the softest, most tear-stained section of the population. The battle began when  someone  noticed that the Camp Rock 2 song “Introducing Me” sounds oddly similar to Mraz’s “I’m Yours”, which we notices sounds an awful lot like every other Jason Mraz song. Coincidence? We think not.

Says Mraz, “I heard the song, and it was just a tremendous, tremendous horror of a tune.” We agree! Oh wait, you mean the Jonas Brothers song. We still agree! But admits Mraz, “I noticed a few similarities in the melody, but it wasn’t enough to pick up the phone and argue with somebody about it.” Well, when your phone’s  already made of gold with diamond buttons, we guess it’s not that big of a deal.

However, it’s not those millions in Jonas money he’s interested in: “If anything, I just wanted my $1.29 back that I spent on iTunes.” A statement which tells us two things: Jason Mraz is nicer than we may have given him credit for, and he SPENT $1.29 ON A CAMP ROCK 2 SONG. We’re sorry; we mean, invested. He invested in a Camp Rock 2 song.

BOARDWALK EMPIRE RECAP: Old Timey Porn And Shooter McGavin

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This is a Recap of Boardwalk Empire, Season 1 Episode 8, entitled “Hold Me In Paradise”. It contains spoilers, such as the spoiler that Eddie Money wrote the title to this episode.

Nucky is off to Chicago this week, and because that trip takes 48 months back then, Eli is temporarily filling in as Head Kickback Giver-Outer. As we remember from the “Previously” segment, though, no one takes Eli seriously. Also, didn’t someone get cut in the face a few episodes ago? It wasn’t in the “Previously” this week, so I have no recollection.

Anyway, no one wants to visit Eli because he grammar bad at, and the one person who visits him by accident completely patronizes his authority, bruising Eli’s fragile corrupt sheriff ego. Eli’s learning the hard way that substituting ain’t easy:

After the jump, the bullets are flyin’ and the boobs are returnin’ and a special appearance from our favorite Happy Gilmore character turned politician:

Read more…

Kayne West and Taylor Swift Porn Parody In The Works

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Everything is a remake these days…*sigh* It appears that the flogged to death horse that is the Kanye West and Taylor Swift VMA Spat is getting new life in a porn. Naturally. Because the sexual tension just oozed out of the moment, are we right?

Vivid Entertainment founder Steve Hirsch told Celebuzz: “We’re always analyzing news stories for their movie potential. The Kanye/Taylor feud has high visibility, is filled with passion and is something we believe that fans of adult films would enjoy. We’re reviewing script concepts and definitely want to include that famous moment at the VMA awards. We plan to go into production in the next two months.”

Now we’ve looked at this from every possible angle, and we fail to see how interrupting an awards show acceptance speech could possibly lead to a sexual encounter of any kind. Unless it’s with the Beyonce character, who is wooed by faux-Kanye’s boldness. (Are we right? Write this down, Vivid people!) According to Hirsche, they’re still working on that part. Yo Hirsche, we’re gonna let you finish, but that Sarah Palin porn parody was the best porn parody of all time! (Note to any readers who happen to be our boss: we’re never seen said porn, and would certainly never admit to such things in print.)

Leave your best Kayne and Taylor porn name ideas in the comments box!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Betty White Prevents Forest Fires, But Not Catastrophic Cuteness Overload

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Betty White is on fire these days, and Smokey the Bear is adding fuel to the flames. At 88 years old, the television legend has been named an honorary forest ranger by the U.S. Forest Service. Reportedly the star dreamed of being a ranger as a little girl, but at that time the Forest Service didn’t allow women in its ranks.

Betty achieved her goal this afternoon at a ceremony outside Washington D.C.’s Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, where representatives of the service presented her with a ranger’s badge, hat, and a travel-sized Smokey companion. “Wilderness is harder and harder to find these days on this beautiful planet, and we’re abusing our planet to the point of almost no return,” White said. “In my heart I’ve been a forest ranger all my life, but now I’m official.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Camel Covers “My Own Worst Enemy”

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Barking Dog Jingle Bells? That’s the STONE AGE, people. We need a singing animal for the NEW GENERATION of TWITTERERS and SKATEBOARDERS and EATERS OF GO-GURT WITH MIRACLE WHIP ON IT.

Behold, a synthesized camel covering Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy”:

(via Alex Zalben)

Michael Lohan Will Rumble With Demi Lovato’s Dad If He Doesn’t Shut Up

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Look out, because we might have a good ol’ fashioned Disney Dad Throw-Down on our hands. Demi Lovato’s estranged father Patrick has not been shy with his opinions that the break-neck Hollywood lifestyle is to blame for his daughter’s emotional collapse. In fact, he’s been talking about it so much that he has received numerous death threats.

And you know what? All of Patrick’s talk about his daughter’s problems has rubbed Michael Lohan the wrong way. You remember Michael Lohan, right? He’s the guy who became famous for talking about his daughter’s problems in the press. Having regained his parental cred by being permitted to spend time with his institutionalized daughter Lindsay, Mike decided to offer some pearls of wisdom to another dad in a tough spot.

“There are two reasons why I have no respect for people who talk or comment about others,” Michael told Popeater. “First, it’s because, in most cases, those individuals are looking from the outside in, and they are passing judgment or commenting on people they know nothing about. The second reason is because they are too cowardly to say it to the person themselves.”

We’ll let that sink in for a moment. Michael Lohan went to the press and criticized Demi’s dad for talking to the press, despite the fact that Michael himself said he would stop talking to the press in an interview with the press OH MY GOD STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

Michael also issued a warning to Patrick, should he dare to compare Demi with Lindsay. “I ask Demi Lavato’s father to refrain from making asinine statements about my daughter, or say it to my face himself,” he said. “And if so, I will pay for the transportation and his hospital bills.”

We think that would be an incredible fight. There would be no winners, but two losers.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Kanye Raps For Passengers On A Delta Flight

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The story isn’t entirely clear yet, but it seems that Kanye West, while on a Delta flight from Minneapolis to New York, rapped for the passengers over the in-flight sound system. Some reports say he rapped for 30 minutes, but you would think that if that were the case, somebody would have captured more than 20 seconds on camera? I don’t know. Also you can’t even see him.

So that probably happened. Also a thing that has probably happened: this conversation-

Some Guy: How was your flight?

Other Guy: Ugh, terrible. There was a kid sitting behind me who kept kicking my seat, and then Kanye West would NOT STOP RAPPING.

Glamazons Galore At Glamour Magazine Gala

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Glamour Magazine celebrated it’s 20th Annual Women of the Year gala last night at New York’s legendary Carnegie Hall. The awards honor both the megastars, as well as the not-so-famous women who have made a positive impact in the world. Queen of All Media Oprah was on hand, as was actual Queen Rania of Jordan (WTF!? a real queen!), but every woman was dressed like royalty as they made their way across the red carpet!

You couldn’t miss Miss Fergie who sizzled in a red dress with husband Josh Duhamel. Kate Hudson killed it in a platinum off-the-shoulder gown, and honoree Julia Roberts made us feel all warm and fuzzy in a dark demure outer wrap.

Some celebs went for a more off beat look. Kelly Osboune hit the town in a peacock-like sequined top and retro peg skirt. Our beloved Janelle Monae somehow rocked the all-black plus cape look without crossing into goth or Batman territory, while Hilary Swank had a less successful fashion statement with her ancient-Greek-chic tight gold bodice.

Check out more of the glitz and glam in the gallery below!

[Photo: Images]

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