Lindsay Lohan Has a Busy Weekend, Reunites With Her Dad

by (@missmuttoo)

What a curveball this turned out to be. This weekend, low-key re-habbed Lindsay Lohan went to the movies. Unfortunately, Lindsay at the movies isn’t going to go unnoticed, and had to leave when the crowds spotted her. What a non-story, right? Well, what happened the following day made up for it.

Lindsay met her father, Michael Lohan, the very next day. And no, he didn’t break into Betty Ford, where Lindsay’s recuperating. This wasn’t forced at all because the two apparently spent hours together! Excuse us while we say, WTF? Lindsay’s been blaming her Dad for all her problems for years now. Michael on the other hand, has been chasing her down, siccing the media on Lindsay and her mom Dina Lohan. Lindsay even once said, “I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”

This didn’t seem like a love-hate relationship; just hate. And now it’s reunion time? Color us surprised. Sources told Radar Online, “It was an emotional reunion… there were hugs, kisses and even a few tears when Michael and Lindsay first saw each other.” They added, “Lindsay met Michael at Betty Ford and the pair spent hours together… it was not a fleeting encounter, this appeared well-planned in advance. They also went shopping at a local Palm Desert mall, where they were seen walking around together and at one point, were in a jewelry store.”

What’s even more shocking is that Michael Lohan didn’t blab about the occasion considering he always shoots his mouth off. His only response about the meeting was, “I have pledged not to comment about anything relating to my daughter. However, what I will say is that I am an incredibly proud father tonight. My daughter is progressing extraordinarily well.” That sounded… normal. Pigs have officially grown wings.

But here’s the deal? The Lohan family has always been in the news for the wrong reasons. Lindsay clearly is in trouble, and is whether she likes it or not, getting help. And Michael Lohan has always been…Michael. But maybe, just maybe, a blue moon’s peeking out from somewhere, and Lindsay finally got tired of blaming everyone else for her problems. And Michael has finally started giving his daughter what she really needs… a dad. Hey…we’re feeling charitable today! Just go with it!

Hilary Duff Marvels At Husband’s Giant Butt

by (@hallekiefer)

hilary-duff-mike-comrie

While Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie might be busy packing up their house for a big move,  the only junk that has Hil’s attention is that which is in her husband’s trunk. Says Duff, “I bought him a bunch of clothes for his birthday and I was like, ‘this is your size? It’s huge!’ But I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he has a big butt because he’s a hockey player.” We’d never heard the stereotype that hockey players have to wear Applebottom jeans (with the boots with the fur), but what do we know? We ain’t buying pants for any professional athletes.

Laughed Hilary, “Right now we have two separate closets, and mine is significantly bigger than his, but he needs a lot of space too! He has a lot of suits and his jeans are huge.” WE GET IT, Hilary.  As his wife cannot emphasize enough, Mike Comrie’s buttocks is simply enormous. His booty is so gigantic, in fact, that his jeans take up thrice the size of a normal man’s pants. Just throw some more junk in that trunk, they wouldn’t even have to pay for movers.

“It’s funny, now we’re moving into a smaller house and we’re going to have to downsize in a big way. It’s scary, I don’t know how I’m going to part with my things,” says Duff. Based on Hil’s little clues, we’re 98% sure Mike’s cavernous jeans were so mammoth they actually took over the Comrie-Duff household and forced the couple to take shelter in neighboring tool shed. Why else would a celebrity move into a smaller home? We mean, that’s the only plausible reason we can think of. [Photo: Splash News Online]

“Glee” Finally Gives Us The Gay A Cappella Katy Perry Song We’ve Been Waiting For

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Thanks to the NewNowNext blog for pointing our attention in the direction of this preview for next week’s brand new episode of Glee. The episode is titled “Never Been Kissed,” just like that Drew Barrymore movie that was clearly terrible but also a favorite that I’ve seen 800 times.

We’ve out our obsession with Michael Vartan on hold just long enough to watch this very satisfying preview of the episode. It looks like Kurt (Chris Colfer) finds himself in an all boys private school academy. And, assuming this is real life and not a gay dream from heaven, Kurt forgets his jacket. But who needs a navy blue blazer when one can just swaddle themselves in the delightful harmonies of the school’s A cappella group, which breaks into a version of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” that is legit good. (Given my hatred for most A cappella, this last sentence was not easy for me to type.)

But who cares about all that? KURT HAS A BOYFRIENDDDD. Or will, probably, soon, by the end of the episode, which if it’s anything like the movie, will involve Kurt waiting for this hot piece of A on a baseball field watching the seconds click down on the “Kiss Clock,” only to lose all hope until his man runs up onto the field and gives him his first kiss, while David Arquette cheers wildly from the bullpen? PLEASE SAY THIS HAPPENS, RYAN MURPHY.

Kurts boyfriend is sooooo cuuuuute. Meanwhile, is his Dad still in the hospital? We’re just gonna forget about him I guess? OK.

**If you have no idea what the aitch I’m talking about, click ahead for the *spoiler alert* end of Never Been Kissed the movie.

Read more…

BREAKING NEWS: The Olsen Twins Were Horrible Actresses

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The Olsen Twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, are billionaires. In an effort to understand this, I went on Youtube to see clips of these two in the role that amassed them part of their wealth, as Michelle Elizabeth Tanner on Full House.

What I found. Was shocking.

Was everyone aware that these two were horrible actresses? Well become aware. Perhaps with their lines sprinkled throughout the many seasons of Full House, it wasn’t as apparent. But as the below video stringing together their “cutest quotes” makes obvious, they are HORRENDOUS. Were there no adults there to order these animatrons to punch up their line reads?

You got it dude? No, dude. I ain’t got it and I don’t get it. How the hell are these girls so rich? If I had a nickel for every Balenciaga ankle hoof boot those two own, I’d literally have thousands of nickels.

Try to get through all two minutes of this video, we dare you. Amazing that Coulier never went insane and flung one of these two out the window of Uncle Jesse’s sweet attic apartment.

Just want to put half of the blame on the writers. Because you, sirs and ladies, are also terrible.

Turn Your Normal Everyday Phone Into A Professional Creepy Phone

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You are about to be very uncomfortable with how creepy this is. And then in your head you’re going to start counting up all your friends who you know are going to buy this. This is a commercial for a product called the Liar Card.

Yikes. You should never need to disguise your voice as a robot of the opposite sex. Get off the phone. And I think I speak for all habitual call duckers when I say please just let us duck your call. It’s going to be so awkward when you call from a different number and we finally pick up. You’re going to feel weird too. We already know we’re assh*les; you’re not going to prove anything to us.

(Discovered over at Videogum, one of the nicest places to visit on the internet.)

Kathy Griffin Waxes Entire Body In Preparation For VH1 Divas: Salute The Troops

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Comedian Kathy Griffin has been geniusly chosen to host VH1 Divas: Salute The Troops, a fun-filled evening of music and comedy in support of America’s troops around the world, featuring artists such as Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, Paramore, and Keri Hilson, and many others.

Kathy as host means the night is guaranteed to be hilarious. She just tweeted the following: “At a @vh1 shoot. I’m hosting Divas Live for the troops this year. Don’t ask, but do tell,” linking to the above photo. The things this woman does for the troops! Like rid herself of every hair on her body. And work out what looks like for 15 hours a day. Kathy, what is your secret? This is some Benjamin Button sh*t happenin’ right thurr.

Be sure to catch 2010 VH1 Divas on December 5 at 9/8c only on VH1!

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Break Up. Again.

by (@JordanRuntagh)

It’s been a rough week for romance in the Cyrus household. Not only have Cyrus-clan heads Tish and Billy Ray filed for divorce, but apparently Miley and BF Liam Hemsworth have split up as well. If you’re getting deja vu, there’s a reason: the pair broke up in August, only to be seen very passionately together the following month.

Miley met her main man while filming The Last Song in June 0f 2009, and the relationship has had its share of ups and downs ever since. “Their on-and off-again relationship is currently off,” a friend told People.com. “But you never know with Miley and Liam. They could be back on at some point.” Another insider chimmed in by saying that, “There was no drama. The relationship just ran its course. They were good friends first and remain friends.”

Hopefully he can help her through what must be a difficult time at home.

[Photo: Images]

Conan Wants Tom Hanks, Celebs To Keep Their Mouths Shut About Their Dumb Movies

by (@hallekiefer)

In an interview that makes us wonder if he wakes up with a tall glass of gin in his hand, Conan O’Brien bans actors from his new late-night show, saying “No actors, no actresses…I want to talk to people who are good at a craft, people who work with their hands.” What? No celebrities? Sorry, but we are not stay up past our bedtimes to see Coco interview a master electrician or quilt maker about how fascinating their jobzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Says O’Brien,”Will I bar Tom Hanks from the set? No, I will not. He can come, but he’s not allowed to talk about his project. He’s gonna keep his f**king mouth shut about his project.” Awww! Hanks is probably sitting at home with tears streaming down his face as we speak. But seriously, you’ll have actors on the show but they CAN’T talk about their movies? Just wait until you’re stuck chatting with Jessica Alba about woodworking or watching Megan Fox use a lathe,  then you’ll be reviewing that policy right quick.

As harsh as his new show rules might sound, Conan is fortunately willing to make things a little more interesting:  “If Jim Carrey or Tom Hanks accidentally mentions his project, I think the viewer should be compensated in some way. That would be a way to turn this economy around.”  And…we’re back on board! Can we somehow modify our TVs so money shoots out when a celebrity breaks the rule? Conan, you stock the first episode with simpletons (seriously, is Megan Fox available?!?!) and we’ll stand in the living room with a pillow case held open like it’s Halloween. Unless…oh no, is Conan joking? But…but…but that’s the way television was always meant to be seen! [Photos: /WireImages]

Finally, A Celebrity Couple Name We Can Get Behind

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It is thanks to commenter Todd Bridges of Madison County over at Gawker who came up with the idea of combining Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift into Jake Taylor, the rugged star of the Cleveland Indians in the movie Major League.

Jake Taylor, celebrity couple, should be honored to be named after Jake Taylor, Tom Berenger’s finest movie role ever. I can’t tell you how often I find myself saying “Well then I guess there’s only one thing left to do. Win the whole f*cking thing” out loud while playing Wii Just Dance 2 by myself. All. The. Time.

Cool Britannia: The BAFTA Awards Take LA

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The British are coming, and they look fabulous. The Los Angeles chapter of the British Academy of Film and Television Arts held their annual awards gala last night at the Hyatt Regency hotel, and  some of England’s finest talent turned out. A surprisingly cheerful Carey Mulligan, Michael Sheen and his show-stopping mustache, and comedy legend Stephen Fry all did Her Majesty proud as they strolled across the regal red carpet. Marion Cotillard rep’ed the continent in a shimmering gray cocktail dress, and Irishman Cillian Murphy looked as cool as his icy blue eyes.

But America fought back with some of its own biggest stars, including Jeff Bridges, Dakota Fanning, Olivia Wilde, and Kevin Spacey, who showed off his new honorary Commander of the British Empire medal recently given to him by the Queen for services to drama! We don’t know what any of that means (he’s still American, right?), but we imagine if the Queen ever gives you anything at all, you take it. No questions asked.

And of course, it’s not a party until Betty White shows up. Check it out in the gallery below!

[Photo: Images]