HICCUP GIRL SNAPS; HICCUPS; KILLS

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The Hiccup Girl – Watch more Funny Videos

Many years ago, in an innocent time known as the “mid-2000s,” a girl came into our lives afflicted with an illness that seemed too annoying to survive. Her name was “Hiccup Girl,” or Jennifer Mee, and she had a case of the hiccups that would not go away. 3 weeks of non-stop hiccups earned her a non-stop round trip ticket to The Today Show, where she joined Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer on the famed couch to discuss her affliction.

And now, the inevitable has happened….

HICCUP GIRL HAS KILLED.

Yes, this raving hic’ster who was clearly battling some mental as well as physical issues has been arrested and accused with first-degree murder. Authorities claim Jennifer lured 22 year old Shannon Griffith to a home, where he was robbed and then gunned down.

This story is brutal and horrible and she should be put in jail for life. But can we just say that we’re not really surprised? I mean, what else do you really expect to happen to a girl who hit her peak at 16 for having the hiccups? All the glitz, glamour of having a horrible illness snatched away from you in a matter of weeks… it can’t be easy. Look at how some of our most beloved child stars have turned out, and those people actually had some talent at one point in their lives! This girl’s main talent was a super unreliable diaphragm and/or a really convincing fake hiccup. And, apparently, shooting and robbing people. What can someone do with a resume like that? Work in a law firm? No. They can shoot and rob someone. And, judging by her mugshot, she’s probably also really good at meth.

So take this as a warning, parents: If your child has some horrible disease, no matter how “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” it may be, whatever you do, do not introduce that child to Matt Lauer. And may Hiccup Girl spend the rest of her days in horrible, writhing pain behind bars.

(Mugshot via Splash News)

Matt Damon And Lady Damon Welcome New Baby Damon

by (@hallekiefer)

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We should have know Matt Damon was in the process of becoming an adorable dad again last week; our Fantasy Husband Alert was going off non-stop. Matt Damon and wife Lucia Damon greeted their fourth baby, Stella Zavala Damon, who joins big sisters Gia, Isabella and half-sister Alexa. Let’s see:  okay, Zavala is pretty weird, but they kept it to a middle name and balanced it with a fairly normal first. Well-played, Mr. and Mrs. Damon. It looks like this kid is going to get out of middle school without too much psychological scarring.

We’re sure the baby is cute and all, but we’ll be saving our squees for the cutest one of all: Papa Damon. Says Matt, “If I had a bucket list, I’d say raising my four girls to be strong, good women would be No. 1.” Squee! Based on the movie we would have thought jumping out of an airplane or befriending Jack Nicholson were more bucket-worthy pursuits.  But then again, no one actually saw that movie, so…  Strong ladies are a excellent goal also, especially considering that with four of them Matt and Luciana are well on their way to assembling their own private army of offspring. Unfortunately for baby Damon fans, Matt says,  “This is it. Our lives are full and wonderful and we’re done having kids.”  You mean, with your wife, right? Right? We take your silence to be a ‘yes.’ [Photo: Getty Images]

The 10 Nerdiest Signs At The New Zealand “Hobbit” Rally

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The people of Queenstown, New Zealand held a rally today to persuade Peter Jackson and Warner Bros. to film The Hobbit in New Zealand, despite recent union unrest threatening to push the filming elsewhere.

Much in the spirit of the Comic-Con Westboro Church Protesters, the nerdy signs were out in full force today – below, a collection of the 10 Nerdiest Signs from the New Zealand Hobbit Rally, in order of nerdiest to also-nerdiest:

10. Please Save My Precious Home

Ironically, that same photo has also been used on numerous anti-abortion protest signs.

9. New Zealand Is Middle Earth

The twist you didn’t see coming.

Read more…

Jersey Shore Season 4: Disney World?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Hey Pauly D, you GTLed every day this month! What are you gonna do now to celebrate? Go to Disney World, of course! Just days after the second season finale of Jersey Shore, Pauly made his way down to Florida to hit up the Happiest Place On Earth That Isn’t New Jersey™.

But it wasn’t all just goofin’ with Goofy and creepin’ on the Little Mermaid. Mr. D made the trip to announce his role as the feature DJ at Disney Grad Nite 2011, an annual after-hours celebration exclusively for high school seniors this spring. Err, may we recommend not creepin’ on those girls? Because that takes creepin’ to another level.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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David Beckham: World’s Best (And Hottest) Dad

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Got a case of the Monday grumpies? Feast your eyes on the perfection that is The Beckham Boys. After the LA Galaxy won their last game of the season, David Beckham (thankfully) removed his jersey and gave it to a fan, then welcomed his trio of adorable sons onto the field. Brooklyn, Romeo, and Cruz dashed to their hero for congratulatory hugs. Daddy Beckham never fails to melt our hearts with his genuine affection for his boys. His pipin’ hot bod ain’t bad either.

More photos below, including a bonus shot of Becks’ booty as he changed shorts mid-game. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Corey Feldman Tries To Be The Next Jared Leto

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Corey Feldman and his band Truth Movement performed in Las Vegas this weekend where they also held a screening of Lost Boys: The Thirst, the sequel to the 1987 movie that kicked off the vampire craze.* Unfortunately for Feldman, it’s hard to crossover as a badass rock star while there’s a bikini beach party going on behind you. In addition to the beach ball weirdness in the background, Feldman was wearing a vinyl pinstriped suit that makes us sweat just looking at it – seriously, it’s like what high school wrestlers who need to make weight would wear as formal wear. For a few more entertaining pictures of the performance, check out our photos below.

*At least for us it did.

Antoine Dodson’s Commercial For The New iPhone Sex Offender App

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Antoine Dodson continues his ongoing awkward breaking of the internet fourth wall with this self-aware, viral-baiting commercial for the new iPhone Sex Offender Tracker App, including the App’s slogan, “If you don’t download this App, you are so dumb.”

It’s still better than Apple’s original commercial for the App, which would’ve featured a hip 29-year-old new dad jamming to the latest Hives single on his iPhone then noticing a hip, employed but still young n’ havin’ fun sex offender.

(via Dlisted)

Well This Is Weird: Carey Mulligan Reportedly Living At The Best Western

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Most celebs who move to L.A., even ones who are just starting out, rent a home or an apartment at first, eventually working their way up to an MTV Cribs-worthy house with a 400-person screening room and gold-plated dog-track in the backyard. But Carey Mulligan, bless her fiscally prudent heart, is allegedly biding her time at a Los Angeles Best Western. Because even hot, young actresses enjoy a continental breakfast. (You can use that as your tag line, Best Western. You’re welcome.)

An employee of the motel said Mulligan has stayed there for about two weeks, and often brings groceries back to her room. Careful not to leave your hotplate on, Carey! Mulligan split from her Wall Street 2 co-star Shia LaBeouf and moved out of the home they shared, so she needed a place to stay while she’s in L.A. shooting the upcoming film Drive. There are indeed photos of Mulligan exiting the motel so we can verify that she and not some other awesomely-coiffed doppelganger has definitely been there.  The motel employee also says “She looks great and sometimes comes with a guy friend and it’s not Shia. It’s weird seeing her here. I’m like in awe.” We’re in awe too, but in a way it makes total sense to stay at a budget motel for privacy, no one would look for you there. Guess it’s time to move on to the Red Roof Inn, we hear their employees are more discreet.

Katy And Russell’s Wedding: Just How Crazy Was It?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

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Well, it finally happened. Katy Perry and Russell Brand were officially wed this Saturday at a North Indian wild tiger sanctuary. Can you feel it in the air? We live in a different world now. Our lives will forever be divided into “Before Katy And Russell Got Married” and “After Katy And Russell Got Married.”

So what went down at the wedding of the century (or at least, the month)? Security was extremely tight and the press were not allowed access, but the newlyweds released a statement saying that a minister friend of Katy’s family performed “a very private and spiritual ceremony attended by the couples’ closest family and friends.” Despite rumors that Rihanna would act as the maid of honor, we hear she was unable to attend.

Both bride and groom reportedly wore traditional Indian attire, and Katy’s hands were decorated with customary henna art. Representatives at the site said that the venue was brightly decorated with colorful lanterns hung from trees, floral garlands and luxurious tents. The Press Trust of India news agency is reporting that the wedding processional included 21 camels, horses and elephants, as well as a crew of Indian musicians and dancers.  Oh, and wait - Reuters says Rihanna WAS there! And apparently the ceremony involved a Hindu priest chanting over a sacred fire. Pics, please?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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As Expected, Mel Gibson In A Rage About Being Replaced On The Hangover 2

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Last week we speculated that Mel Gibson would probably be pretty upset after getting fired from The Hangover sequel and learning he would be replaced by Liam Neeson. We can now confirm that rage-a-holic Gibson is indeed flying off the handle as a result of the casting change.

A source for Gibson says that Mel “doesn’t understand why Mike Tyson, a drug user who turned his life around, was given a chance while [he] was kicked to the curb. Everybody deserves a second chance.” We’re guessing  that Tyson seemed less toxic and evil for two reasons: one, enough time has passed since his DUI and rape convictions that he seems less threatening, and two, his voice. Like, how can you stay mad at someone with that voice? It’s even cuter than  David Beckham‘s voice.

Mel’s camp has a good point though, although we’ve come to the conclusion that basically everyone in Hollywood has made some kind of pact with the devil, so in terms of judging others for their wrongdoings, it’s six of one, half dozen of the other.