I never thought anyone could top 80s lady singer about town Bonnie Tyler.
Then soon to be Conan O’Brien sorbet George Lopez made it happen on Lopez Tonight. Ladies and gentleman, this is William Shatner and viral video wonder boy Lin Yu Chun (chinese for “Boy with the Smallest Balls”) singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Nothing more needs to be said.
“I’ve got some bad news, Universe — that frickin’ Avatar movie has raised the bar for special effects to the point where earthlings simply aren’t impressed by your photos of earth from afar or like, Saturn’s rings and crap. You’re gonna have to up your game.”
“Then it’s time. Whip out the video of the crazy explodey flarey psychedelic color sun…”
Couple days late for the 20th, but we’re not complaining.
The bikini top. No longer is it relegated to just the beach, pool and swimsuit issue, it is now appropriate for casual Fridays, walks through the city and shopping excursions. At least, J-Woww is trying to convince us that’s the case. She and her Jersey Shore cast mates are still in Miami, and while it’s no surprise to see them in their bathing suits on the beach (after all, that’s what made them famous) it’s still a little weird when they take that look to the streets. (Careful where you ash that cig, J, so many potential burns!)
[Photo: Getty Images]
This doesn’t sound good. Renaissance Malibu, an exclusive Malibu rehab facility has filed a claim against the late heiress Casey Johnson‘s estate. Johnson went to rehab there in August, 2009, and they’re claiming the $74, 750 bill hasn’t been paid. Legal documents state that she spent 30 days at the facility and then received additional days of therapy. Johnson tragically died late last year and Los Angeles Coroner’s Office officially announced diabetic ketoacidosis as the cause of death.
Her entire estate was apparently valued at around $75,000. This would leave a total of $250 if the claim is paid in full, and would almost completely wipe out all of her assets. Shouldn’t her widow Tila Tequila step in and help her deceased “wife” pay up?
- Lindsay Lohan’s dad stormed her house with police officers this morning in an attempt to “stage an intervention or rescue” her younger sister Ali. It’s like The Professional, but with more TMZ photographers masturbating to it.
- Us Weekly reports that the Tiger Woods / Elin Nordegren divorce is “100% happening”. That came out of nowhere… Can anyone confirm their other rumor about heat being hot?
- Iron Man 2 will feature a cameo by the now-deceased DJ A.M. Can you say, Best Supporting Actor Oscar?
- The South Park guys are apparently gonna die for their controversy-generating Muhammad episode that generated the precise controversy that everyone expected it to generate. It also generated the most confusing “BLEEPs” since “Burger King bathroom” was bleeped in the “Humpty Dance” video.
- And finally, I’m performing this Saturday night at Penn State University, my old stompin’ grounds, along with my fellow alums Matt Little, Jeff Rubin, and Nate Kushner. Come see it, and then you can go get drunk because it is college!!! (Just a taste of the knee-slappery you can expect Saturday night).
Salma Hayek brought her bad self (and some big shoes) to the A Bid To Save Earth Green Auction at Christie’s in NYC yesterday, joined by her very lucky (and very rich) husband Francois-Henri Pinault. The Chevy Chase-hosted event made over $2 million for environmental causes—a number that might be a little more impressive if we didn’t just reference a French entrepeneur worth more than $16 billion, but a worthwhile venture all the same. Check out the gallery for more shots of Hayek, as well as lovely environmental warriors like Miranda Kerr and Doutzen Kroes.
[Photo: .com/Getty Images]
Sigh. Heartbreak’s a bitch, but Paris Hilton seems to be dealing quite alright after her recent split with Doug Reinhardt, insisting that she’s “better off.” Hilton dated the former “The Hills” star for a total of 14 months, although they split briefly last summer before reuniting. A representative for the hotel heiress confirmed rumors the couple had parted ways earlier this month, admitting the break-up happened “weeks ago.” Hilton was denying the claims just days before. Either way, she’s so over it, saying, “I am like, so past that — I don’t even care! I don’t even remember that time in my life. I am over it!”
Forever erudite, she added, “I just realized that I’m better off without him. So I ended it because I deserve something much better! He wasn’t right for me and I will eventually find somebody who loves me for who I am.” Hilton’s planning to enjoy being a single gal again, and intends to stay away from a relationship for a few months at the very least, adding, “I love it (single life)! I am having so much fun. A lot of guys have obviously hit on me and I am getting thousands of calls, but I’m not ready to be with anyone. (I want to) stay focused on myself and my family and my work. Then, maybe in six months or a year … but for right now, I’m just too busy for a relationship.” Wait and watch.
Naomi Campbell just won’t co-operate. The leggy supermodel is refusing to testify at the war crimes trial of the former Liberian potente Charles Taylor. The issue? It’s all about a huge, uncut “blood diamond” Taylor allegedly gave her in South Africa in 1997.
Brian Ross reported that the warlord, Campbell and Mia Farrow were Nelson Mandela‘s overnight guests. Farrow has tirelessly campaigned to highlight Taylor’s diamond-injected reign of terror and violence in Sierra Leone.
Farrow tells Ross, “Naomi Campbell came down . . . she said during the night some men had knocked on her door and she, half-asleep, had opened the door and it was representatives of President Charles Taylor and that they had given her a huge diamond. And we were like, ‘Oh, my gosh.’ ” Ross furthur adds, “Prosecutors say Taylor was in South Africa . . . to buy weapons for the Sierra Leone rebels with blood diamonds and that Mia Farrow’s information about Campbell helps tie him to the purchase.”
The supermodel ain’t talking though. At a recent Fashion Week appearance to raise money for Haiti, Campbell retorted, “I didn’t receive a diamond and I’m not going to speak about that.” In true Campbell smack-down style, Naomi ended the interview by slamming the camera to the floor.
Trouble comes in spades it seems. Lindsay Lohan has been named a suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex watch. Apparently, the watch in question belongs to one of Lohan’s “friends.” The story goes that it was “accidentally” left at the actress’s house earlier this year, and has never got it back. Sources say that police have obtained photographic evidence which could prove Lindsay knows exactly where the Rolex went, and went to her house earlier this week to question Lohan. She denied any involvement in the theft.
Lindsay is no stranger to drama (er, obviously) and has been accused of having sticky fingers in the past. She was suspected (and later cleared) of snagging $400,000 of jewels from an Elle magazine shoot and allegedly lost $2 million worth of diamonds belonging to the store XIV Karats last year.
No arrests have been made so far and Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley says, “The allegations are completely untrue.” It’s been a rough week for Lohan what with her father, Michael Lohan, storming her house with cops from the L.A County Sheriff’s department to check up on Ali Lohan’s (Lindsay’s sister) welfare. We’re sure we’re going to hear more on Lindsay’s Twitter!