Pete From Mad Men Doesn’t Have A Toilet

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On this week’s episode of Quirky Celebrity Says Quirky-Ass Thing In Interview That Becomes The Headline For That Interview Theatre (they said my show title was too long to ever work, but I showed them, dammit! It’s the number one show ever), Vincent Kartheiser, aka Pete from Mad Men, aka Bad IMDB Picture Havey McGee, talks about not having a toilet at his Los Angeles residence:

“Like, I don’t have a toilet at the moment. My house is just a wooden box. I mean I am planning to get a toilet at some point. But for now I have to go to the neighbours. I threw it all out.”

QUIRKO! This muthalova’ be quirky!

So why no toilet, Quirk Cameron?

“I don’t have a lot of money. I get some from Mad Men. But I don’t think I’m rich…”

“Maybe that’s where I am going wrong. TV is very different from where it was 10 years ago. There are so many more channels, so much less ad money; contracts have gone through the floor you know, at least mine have.

Makes sense — cable doesn’t bring in the same ad revenue that network does, so how could actor Vincent Kartheiser have a toilet? He could not.

I mean, I have a toilet at my apartment, but I’m effin’ RAKING in those sweet blogger bucks, so I can’t really speak to how a struggling actor three seasons into a hit tv show might spend what little dough he scrapes together. Vh1 pays me a giant diamond-studded gold dollar sign for every word I type, so I just gathered like four or five hundred of those and traded them for a toilet a couple months ago, and it was worth it — way easier than sh*tting on a giant pile of gold dollar signs.

Australia Is A Hotbed Of Biebah Fevah

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Justin Bieber was all set to perform a free outdoor concert in Sydney, Australia when too many loving fans turned up and posed a security risk. The Daily Mail reports:

But fans who had started queueing the night before surged forward with excitement at around 2am while they were waiting, causing 10 girls to faint and paramedics to be called.

So the police cancelled the concert, cancelling tens of thousands of Australian girls dreams in the process. Australian police: Dream Cancellers. I can just imagine the cacophony of tiny Australian voices yelling “Justeen Bieeebah!” Someone caught on tape one of the girls reactions when she found out the concert was cancelled:

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File Under TMI: The Situation Waxes His Situation

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Much to our delight, it seems as long as the Jersey Shore kids are filming Season 2 in Miami, we’ll have an endless feed of amazingly entertaining photos. In the last month, we’ve seen Snooki day drinking, J-Woww in a bikini easily mistaken for lingerie, and an obscene amount of bulging pecs.

Today we’re presenting you with perhaps more tanned skin than you’d like. For reasons that surely make sense in Jersey Shore world, The Situation stripped down to his Ed Hardy boxer briefs on the beach over the weekend, revealing a complete lack of treasure trail. Why does it not surprise us that A) these guys LOVE Ed Hardy and B) waxing is included in the GTL regimen? [Photo: Getty Images]

More shots of TV’s most carefree cast below.

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MOMENTS IN NSFW-NESS: M.I.A.’s “Born Free” vs. 2 Live Crew’s “Pop That Coochie”

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Today, rapper M.I.A. has blown the lid off this whole NSFW phenomenon with the release of her latest single and accompanying music video “Born Free,” a 9 minute long visual assault with about as much unairbrushed sex and violence as any music video can handle. Before clicking, be warned: The images are disturbing in a way that is brand new to music videos. It’s really more of a short film, and a disturbing one at that. (Example: A woman gets beaten by police officers. Not your typical VH1 Top 20 material.)

Or is it? We started to wonder: Is M.I.A.’s “Born Free” the most NSFW music video ever? Or does that award go to the oft-overlooked 1991 2 Live Crew classic “Pop That Coochie”? We bring you both videos here. Take a look and tell us if M.I.A.’s video is really NSFW-y enough to write home about, or if you’re more of a classic cubicle-dwelling risk taker.

And let us know of any other music videos you deem to be even NSFW-ier, because we are ever so sure they exist.

VS.

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Why I Fear For Betty White’s SNL

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I’m sure it’ll be great. So great. But after all this build up, what with the Internet crusade to have her host, if it’s not great, what then? No one will want to admit it. Because she’s America’s Sweetheart, Betty White. I want her to succeed. So, so much. I think, I mean I know, that she’s more than capable and hilarious.  But cougar jokes? Guys. Save those for Courtney Cox.

Here’s the SNL promo:

 

Double-Trouble Lindsay: Axed From Film, Throws Drink At Ex

by (@missmuttoo)

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“The Other Side” stars Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette — and it almost starred Lindsay Lohan as a grad student working on a deserted island. But as TMZ reported Friday, Lindsay was dumped from the roster because she’s not “bankable” enough. Writer/director David Michaels said, “Our team simply chose to move on from Lindsay and we’ll soon be announcing a replacement.

Considering Lindsay’s a suspect in the theft of a Rolex and allegedly has some hardcore financial problems, Lindsay should seriously be re-examining her priorities, right? Wrong. Because hurling a drink at your ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson is such a step in the right direction.

“Just got a glass thrown at my head. … Hmmm – wonder who did it?” Ronson posted on her Twitter page this weekend during one of her gigs at Trousdale in L.A.

A partying witness confirms, “It was ridiculous. Sam was sitting at a table, and Lindsay came up from behind and tossed an entire drink at her. Sam looked livid but just let it go. Why people even let Lindsay inside their establishments anymore is beyond me.” Well, Lindsay was seen downing drinks at the Chateau Marmont earlier that evening. Perhaps she was drowning her sorrows at the lost opportunity to actually act in a film? [Photo: Getty Images]

World’s Smallest Horse Makes Me Wish I Could Give Birth to Horses

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Can you imagine the look of delight and joy on any mother’s face to see this little guy’s legs hanging out of you on the delivery table?

I’ll tell you this much: I would be OVER THE FREAKING MOON to cradle the nubby glass bones of Einstein, the Smallest Horse in the World, who, at only 9 lbs., currently weighs less than I did as a newborn (9 lb 11 oz., or the size of a children’s bowling ball). And at only 14 inches high…

He is muuuuuuuch cuter than even this most British of English blond children. But the only thing standing between me and my dream of birthing a horse the size of a Happy Meal? Einstein’s Mother, ie The Most Psyched Horse To Ever Be Alive:

UPDATE: Now with video…

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Biggest Pop Culture Controversies: Jay Leno vs. Conan O’Brien

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Every Monday, thanks to our sponsor Oreo Cakesters, we bring you pop culture controversies. We’ve pitted Vampires and Sorcerers (Harry Potter vs Twilight) and TV comedies (Friends vs Seinfeld) against each other. Up this week: TV’s biggest comedians.

Even if your bedtime falls sometime before 11:35 p.m., you no doubt have an opinion on who should be hosting the Tonight Show on NBC. On the off-chance that your last name is Van Winkle and you’ve been hitting the snooze button on your clock radio for the last few months, here’s a primer: After a 15-year stint as host of the longest running late night program on television, Jay Leno stepped aside in June of 2009, ceding the duties to the red-headed upstart, Conan O’Brien. Well, a short six months later, ratings for the show had plummeted and NBC decided to kick Conan to the curb with nothing to pad his fall but a reported $45 million severance check (tough break!). From there, The Chin was reinstalled as the Peacock Network’s King of Late Night.

So, are you on Team Leno or Team Coco? Do you prefer your late night comedy to be bland and inoffensive or edgy and boundary pushing? Who pleases your ears more, Kevin Eubanks or Max Weinberg? You know where to sound off.

Courtney Love (Kinda) Cleans Up For Record Party

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Courtney Love & Miko Larkin

You might think Courtney Love would guarantee some headlines for the first new Hole album in over a decade by turning the release party into a trainwreck, but the singer looked as respectable as we’ve seen her in ages at the Vegas nightclub Tao this weekend. Sipping on Pellegrino in a tasteful black dress, Love played a brief acoustic set in the wee hours of the night and otherwise kept things low-key with bandmate Miko Larkin. Not that she appreciates you noticing any (potentially lawsuit-inspired) move towards classiness. “Oh stop w the marianne comparisons,” she tweeted in response to a positive review’s references to ex-junkie singer Marianne Faithfull. Hey, if you’re a raspy blonde woman singer in recovery filling your set with Stones covers, you’re asking for it. See more photos of Love in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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AD WIZARDS: Toy Story Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear Gets A Viral 80s Commercial

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Here’s an 80s commercial for Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear, one of the new toys from Toy Story 3. Whaaaaaa 80ssss??? How was there an ad in the 80s for a new thing? OHHHHHHHHHHH VIRAL!!! Pixar, you so crazy! – Animated Martin Lawrence.

This is the most blatant attempt at viral toy marketing since “My Buddy” was created to promote Out Of Africa: