Lou Reed In Pink Novelty Sunglasses Holding A Sai? There’s An App For That

by

Apologies for the foray into “there’s an app” jokes, but giving up my app-joke virginity was a necessary sacrifice to draw your attention to the following video of Lou Reed introducing his new iPhone app, the LouZoom, an app for playing guitar writing songs doing anything remotely related to music or Lou Reed making your contacts bigger.

Gothamist notes that they’ve passed up the no-brainier idea of calling it the “Lou Read”, an oversight of Arrested Development “Mock Trial With J. Reinhold” proportions:

FABLife’s DVD Pick Of The Week

by

An Education

We really hope that Carey Mulligan never gets a chance to see The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock may have won the best actress Oscar, but after seeing this Sixties-set coming-of-age story, it’s clear the Brit newcomer was the victim of a robbery. Her 16-year-old Jenny is a little smarter than everyone else at school, and bored to death growing up in a drab London suburb. Then along comes an older charmer in a sporty motorcar, ready to whisk her off to exciting nightclubs, country jaunts and even a trip to Paris—the city of every young intellectual’s dreams. Jenny is ready to give up pursuing her studies, but David, played by Peter Sarsgaard, has many secrets to hide. In a strong cast, father Alfred Molina and Bond girl Rosamund Pike are also stand-outs. The sharp script is by High Fidelity author Nick Hornby

Extras: Commentary from Mulligan, Sarsgaard and director Lone Scherfig; deleted scenes; two featurettes.

- By C. Bottomley

Check out our EXCLUSIVE DVD bonus clip above, wherein Mulligan discusses what it was like, as a 22-year-old, playing a 16-year-old girl.

Of Course Hollywood Is Developing A Movie About The E-Trade Babies

by

From now on, it might be easier if we just report any time Hollywood’s not developing a thing into a movie. Actually, it’d be even easier if we all just jump ship right now. Like, build a huge ship the size of the world, get on it, then jump off of it. Ideally before reading the quoted text below, or failing that, milliseconds after:

20th Century Fox is developing a film based on the E*Trade talking babies. No. I am not making this up. Actress and writer Katie Dippold (“Parks and Recreation,” “MADtv”) is penning the script. And no. I’m not kidding. The film is a “mission movie,” about a group of talking babies trying to make their way across the playground.

With all due respect to the wonderful and hilarious Pete Holmes, the voice of the soon-to-be-titular baby, I’ll refer to a comment left by user Tsuyoikuma on the Marmaduke trailer post, “Which horseman is this? First, second, or third?” I think we can safely say that the above news would mark the subsequent horseman.

Teri Hatcher Starts Her Own Website, But Will It Be Goopier Than GOOP?

by

59968380

Teri Hatcher apparently has a lot to teach us about multitasking, how best to relax on a comfy armchair, and being a mom. At least, that’s what we gleaned after checking out the prototype of her new website, punnily titled GetHatched.com. “Hatched” because it’s her name, but also because it’s for chicks. Get it? The pictures of Hatcher on the site are amazingly cheesy but show us how effortless it is to handle everyday situations (Holding groceries in one hand and a baby bottle in  the other! Wearing leggings while over 40!). Considering it’s part of DisneyFamily.com, the generic, All-American mom thing makes sense, we just wish it wasn’t so cheeseball.

Hatcher, like Gwyneth Paltrow before her, has decided that the world needs a celebrity to turn to to find out how to live. While Gwynnie just works on honing her superiority complex over at GOOP.com, Hatcher hopes her just-for-women site gives off “a sense of honesty, candidness and the understanding that wacky things happen to all of us,” but she promises that it “will not be the Teri Hatcher reality site.” So…iVillage meets Desperate Housewives minus the Susan plotlines?

We just have to say, thank God for the internet, otherwise, we’d all be unclothed, starving, and generally unable to function. Sometimes when we forget how to, like, survive, we think of the name of our other favorite celebrity site, Matthew McConaughey‘s Just Keep Livin’, and remember, oh yeah, that’s what’s we’re supposed to do. Thanks, celebs.

[Photo Getty Images]

Rick Martin For First Gay President!!!

by

I’ve never been really into conspiracy theories in general.  But what I am really into are conspiracy theories that I make up myself while reading the Huffington Post at my Father’s apartment in Houston, Texas after going to the dentist for the first time in five years (NO CAVITIES!!!!).  Anyway, there were two stories I saw and I am convinced they are related.  Here’s the first story:

I saw this and I was all like, “Okey doke.”  You know, just a regular old “okey doke,” because I don’t really ever say “no doy.”  But then…. I saw this story:

Oh boy.  Ricky Martin is going to be president.  This is totally lavida loca.  This is upside inside out.  This is the Macarena. Ricky Martin wrote Macarena, right?.

Usher’s Bowler Hat And Groping Dancers Are Back!

by

Usher, dancers

Yes, ladies, Usher is truly available! Tossing aside the tormented husbandry of his less-than-massive Here I Stand album, the R&B hero donned his old bowler hat (not to mention the hands of his back-up dancers) for a special performance on Good Morning America earlier today. (We’re still not used to seeing George Stephanopoulos amid such AM sexiness…dude used to hang with James Carville in The War Room!) If Raymond Vs. Raymond doesn’t restore Usher’s superstar status, it sure won’t be for lack of trying. Sexy trying. See photos of his groping and grinding in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

View Photo Gallery

The 27 Most Scandalous Alleged Celebrity Mistresses

by

540x450

Cheating in Hollywood is as common place as nose jobs – everyone does it, and everyone denies it. Since the start of the new year alone, both Jesse James and Tiger Woods have f*cked their way to infamy, leaving behind trails of tattooed mistresses and dirty text messages. But the secret sex game is old school, and Sunset Boulevard is littered with tales of two-timing guys who have cheated on their wives with their co-star, nanny, assistant, intern, escort, or whoever else they could get their hands on. Sometimes the mistress is even more famous than the married man she’s bedding, if not before their affair than certainly after.

Some of these ladies went on to land their man, while others posed for Playboy and started failed handbag lines. But long after the sex ends and the scandals die, their legends live on – on Wikipedia at least. Check out the FABlife’s picks for the Most Scandalous Alleged Celebrity Mistresses below.

View Photo Gallery

The 20 Things I Learned On My European Vacation

by

Last week, I embarked on a week-long, Amazing-Race style adventure across Europe, beginning in London, then Berlin, and ending with 3 days in Paris. Here are the 20 things I learned:

20. Food In Iceland Is Well-Packaged and Kind of Edible. During our layover in Reykjavik (preferred pronunciation: “Rakey Vac”), we marveled at the various foods being sold in their starkly modern airport. To begin with, we discovered a new flavor of Doritos… “Cool American”:

As promised, they tasted exactly like Jake Gyllenhaal. We also invested in a variety of authentic Icelandic candy, clearly packaged sometime between “The Cold War” and the season finale of “The Jetsons”:

The Icelandy people sure do love their licorice, as we soon vommingly discovered. They dip it in everything! Mainly chocolate and other brown stuff. That being said, I would have to rank the “Hraun Bar” and “Lindiu Buff” as my favorite candy bars in Iceland. So, to the one guy who hand makes all of them and then personally delivers each bar to the 200,000 or so people of Rakey Vac: Good job!

19. I want a Parisian Baby. No, really. These Parisian kids were basically the best. So well behaved. So well dressed. Like living breathing awesome dolls that you would actually want to raise and not abandon in a T.J. Maxx dressing room. My new goal is to get a Parisian baby and raise it until it’s about 11 years old. Then, in typical French fashion, send him or her to Milan to become a model/sleep with the elderly.

Read more…

Fox Cancels “24″ After Just 192 Hours Of Nuclear Explosion Betrayal Twists

by

Jack Bauer has faced many twists, but now, he must deal with the most dangerous game of all…MAN. Men who cancel television shows. Twist!

After 8 seasons of watching Jack Bauer fight crime and save the world with CTU, Fox is finally canceling hit series 24

…It sounds like there’s a possibility of a 24 movie. Keifer continues, “Looking ahead to the future, Howard Gordon and I are excited about the opportunity to create the feature film version of 24. But when all is said and done, it is the loyal worldwide fan base that made it possible for me to have the experience of playing the role of Jack Bauer, and for that I am eternally grateful.”

A 24 movie? That’s exactly what the show needs, to not be constrained by the shackles of cramming one day’s worth of events into just 24 hours of airtime on eight separate occasions. There’s so many more plots they could explore!

What if they had the person you thought was trying to help Jack Bauer turn out to be working against Jack Bauer? They should totally have that happen once. They could call the movie “24: Twistamadoo, brought to you by Twisted Tea” and have Yellowcard cover “The Twist” for the end credits. This happened as I was typing.

Luke Wilson, Celebrity Spokesdiva

by

D070145168.jpg

Luke Wilson may look like he’s turning into a Baldwin (Daniel, to be specific), but he hasn’t slipped into I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here territory just yet. He has, however, been gracing our small screens with those insanely annoying AT&T ads that attempt to convince America that your crummy iPhone service is like, totally just all in your mind.

Wilson, like us, seems to be tiring of his sellout status and is getting snippy at work though, a source recently divulged. Fox411 reports that the “star is miserable doing the project and has earned a reputation for being a diva on set” of the commercials. The source also had these harsh words to say about the actor, “Luke was awful during the filmings – he would even talk back to the director. . . Luke is annoyed that he has to do commercials to make money as an actor and he makes the experience miserable, because he’s miserable. It’s unprofessional and unpleasant.”

Poor Richie Tenenbaum, having another hard year. Sounds like AT&T may want to intentionally start dropping his calls. [Photo: Getty Images]