O.M.Glee No: Will Schuester is Back. And Rapping. Again.

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(Right, Billboard Magazine’s winning entry in the “Photoshop a Glee Cover in 4.5 Seconds” Competition. Click to enlarge.)

Glee is one of those shows that you either love or hate. Mr. Schuester rapping is one of those things that you either hate or have already cut your ears off and thrown them into the wind with a shrug and newfound pep in your deaf step.

In fact, Matthew Morrison’s rapping was so soul-crushing last half-season that we went so far as to create a petition begging the Powers that Glee to ban this phenomenon for good. And 580 of you agreed with us!! That’s, like, .0000092% of the people that watch. And in this economy, you can’t really afford to turn that many potential audience members away.

Well, guess what? They’ve done it again. And oh… they’ve really topped themselves.

Ladies and gentlemen, Will Schuester presents, as part of Whitest Things Ever Productions Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”:

Oh God. This is just going to be. So. Painfulll.

You can watch this on tonight’s episode of Glee – “Bad Reputation” — and listen to the rest of the songs here.

Style Wars: Mad Men Hits The Met

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January Jones and Christina Hendricks may dress impeccably on Mad Men, but their ensembles at the Met’s Costume Institute Gala proved that when left without the show’s award-winning stylists, things can get ugly. An uber-eyeshadow’d Jones wore a gothic-patterned pink Yves Saint Laurent mini dress with black gloves past her elbows. While Hendricks’ curves always look fab in a gown, we hated the little creature on the right shoulder of her L’Wren Scott frock. Betty and Joan both let us down with their overdone looks, but who looked worse? [Photos: Getty Images]

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With Friends Like These… The George Lopez Edition

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This is a big week for me in the finding-out-new-things-about-Sandra-Bullock arena.  But this isn’t a post about Sandra Bullock.  No way.  This is a post about George Lopez.  But first I have to start with Sandra Bullock

Earlier in the week, I learned Sandra Bullock had a baby, and then I learned the baby had a Jewish circumcision, and today I learned from People Magazine that the baby’s uncle is George Lopez.  Wait, what?  No, you read that right.  George Lopez and Sandra Bullock are such good friends, apparently, that George Lopez has declared himself a “proud uncle” of Sandra Bullock’s new adopted baby.  I didn’t know you could do that — just declare yourself an uncle.  But, anyway,  the most impressive part of the article was not so much that George Lopez is friends with Sandra Bullock or that he has uncle declaration powers.   The most impressive part was that George Lopez had so many other famous friends.  Apparently when he answered questions for People Magazine, he was playing golf and was “joined at the golf outing by celebrity friends including Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Allen, Don Cheadle and Hilary Duff .”

Wow.  Quite an eclectic assortment of friends.  How did Geroge Lopez pick his friends?  Was somebody like, “Quick, George Lopez, name four random celebrity now!”  And he was like, “Uhhhh, Samuel L. Jackson….Don Cheadle….Tim The-Tool-Man Taylor… and that girl from the show about Jerry Maguire’s daughter or whatever.”  And then, because the person asking the question was actually a magical curse genie, all those people became his friends.

The moral of the story is this:  when a genie asks you to name 4 random celebrities, be careful.  They might all end up being your golf buddies.

Man Marries Dying Cat Til Tiny Animal Death Do Them Part

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As a single woman living in the big city, let me launch this post by saying how happy I am that it is a man marrying his cat and not your stereotypical gray-braided cat lady with one long tooth (“It’s my can openin’ toof!”) who decides to sport her formal poncho for the occasion.

But yeah boyyy, a man named Uwe Mitzscherlich married his asthmatic cat Cecilia in a staged ceremony somewhere in Germany (obv.). They’ve lived together for 10 years, a regular Susan Sarandon and Tim Ribbons of bestial relationships. Luckily, Cecilia will probably die before having to see Uwe move out of the house with his new younger cat lover. What does a gal have to do to find a man like this:

“Cecilia is such a trusting creature. We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed,” Mr Mitzscherlich, a postman from the eastern town of Possendorf.

Meee-aw.
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UPDATE: Reader Gracie sent us a link to VIDEO OF THE WEDDING. , and BSideBlog gives us the Youtube Version. If you have any respect for the internet you will watch this IMMEDIATELY I’m ordering you to:

Though this guy still has nothing on my favorite cat raper, sorry, reaper of all time…

Lolzzz (laugh naps) ahead:

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Helena Christensen: Naked Jogger

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If there’s one thing that sounds completely unappealing to us, it’s the thought of someone – anyone – jogging naked. There’s a lot of stuff that flaps around when one jogs, which is why we have so many Spandex athletic garments that restrain said flapping items. So even though supermodel Helena Christensen is one of the most beautiful women in the world, we still don’t want to imagine her out for a run in nothing but her cross-trainers. Alas, naked Helena the focal point of Reebok’s new ad campaign for their EasyTone trainers and as hot as she is, it doesn’t change our mind.

This isn’t the first (or second…or third) time Christensen has been naked, but it is the first time she’s done so while peddling sneakers. In a PR-rrific quote, she says this about the shoes: “With my busy schedule it’s a perfect way to do something without spending hours in the gym. I’m impatient, when I try something I like to see results immediately. I could feel these working right away which is why I’ve stuck with them.” But can they get us as shiny as she is? That’s the real question.

[Photo: Reebok]

This Spader-Man Action Figure Is A Blatant Rip-Off Of The Real James Spader

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Unlicensed Chinese knock-off action figures may indeed be a growing problematic hundred-plus-billion dollar industry, but it’s really hard to get mad at any people that produce gems like this Spader-Man action figure:

Not cool, Chinese thieves — you’re ripping off millions of dollars from the budding Boston Legal action figure series. Chinese kids are gonna be pissed when they find out that the money they spent on Spader-Man and Silver Shatner aren’t going to the actual Boston Legal producers, the minds behind the show they love so dearly.

I assume they at least did acquire the actual rights to Robert Cop and Silver Bat

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Pink Sees What Brown Can Do For Her

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Even though Pink’s hair hasn’t been pink for a while, we have never seen her rocking such a natural hair color before. At an event at the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center, Pink posed with the cropped cut and color and we’re kind of surprised – we sorta miss her bleached blonde style faux-hawk, this is looking a little drab for our tastes. We guess that if Pink is doing her own aerial stunts still, it’s probably better to have a super-short ‘do that’s not distracting. Does it work for you?

[Photo: Getty Images]

David Boreanaz Admits Cheating On Wife: Was Rachel Uchitel His Mistress?

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David Boreanaz & Rachel Uchitel

Looks like the guy from Bones is no Angel. The cause for that horrible, obvious joke is the recent announcement that David Boreanaz cheated on his wife of eight years, Playboy playmate Jaime Bergman. “Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities,” he told People. “I just want to be open and honest. I was irresponsible.” Looks like his situation might be more David Letterman than Tiger Woods, though—he’s coming forward after an ex hit him up for hush money. “I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with,” he says. “She asked for money. I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion.” The TV hunk says he and his wife are “working on repairing what’s been damaged so badly.”

With Boreanaz mentioned in a recent New York profile of Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel, it’s no surprise Radar says the party promoter—and her infamous legal counsel Gloria Allred—are behind his troubles. Allred, who’s representing both Uchitel and another woman who slept with the former Buffy star, says she wasn’t extorting, just suggesting “mediation” for her client’s “legal claim” that he lied about their “exclusive” relationship (yes, she’s suggesting you can be sued for cheating on your mistress). If David continues to imply something indecent about Allred’s way of scoring cash, he may regret it. “My client has not told her story to the press, but now that Mr. Boreanaz is attacking her she has decided to tell the story of their relationship, so that the truth will come out.” Wonder how much money she’ll get for that…and if Allred’s “legal advice” will ever get her arrested.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Batman Porn Parody May Just Be Another Episode Of Batman

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Wow, the Batman porn parody has an impeccable attention to detail — the costumes, the acting, the fake sound effects… it’s all pulled right out of the tv show. So accurate!

Did we forget anything? OHHHHHHHH, F*CKING! Ooopsie doops! That’s what porn directors say when when they make a mistake.

(via Gorillamask)

Cameron Diaz Does The Walk Of Shame

by (@missmuttoo)

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So it’s settled. Alex Rodriguez is a player. A player player.  Look at the guy’s batting curve: Madonna, Kate Hudson and now Cameron Diaz. The NY Post’s is reporting that something’s definitely brewing between the Yankees’ MVP third baseman and the legs-that-go-on-for-miles actress. They had dinner together on Saturday night at Hotel Griffou with their newly single pal Kate Winslet, and photos of her leaving the next day reveal that she stayed the night at the baller’s NYC apartment (Score!). A source reported, “They all shared a delicious meal and several bottles of French red wine.”

Life and Style says the two “were all over each other” at the CAA Super Bowl Party and an insider close to A-Rod told the mag, “A-Rod’s with Cameron. They’ve been keeping it quiet, but they’re totally together.” When the photogs weren’t around, “Cameron had her hands all over Alex’s back, and they were dancing together. They also left the party together that night.”

That’s not all, folks! “Alex recently arranged to fly Cameron to Miami,” a second insider revealed, “He used to fly Kate Hudson there all the time, and no one knew they were dating for a long while. Alex is very discreet.”

So K-Hud had a positive effect on his game last summer. Will Cam-D make him an MVP?

[Photo: GettyImages]