Jesse James Apologizes For Cheating, Wants Oscar-Winning Wife Back

by (@katespencer)

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Jesse James is really sorry for cheating on Sandra Bullock with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, or so he said in a statement released last night to various media outlets. Here’s his “Oops, I f*cked a crazy lady with big boobs and terrible tatts” apology:

“The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment. There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.  This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

Sounds like someone woke up and realized his meal ticket was gone! Here’s a tip for other dudes who don’t want to bring about “pain and embarrassment” on their wives and families: don’t cheat. What a novel idea, right? Meanwhile, The Huffington Post reports that ol’ Bombshell only got $30,000 for ruining Sandy’s life. Not that we have much knowledge of how much people get paid to talk about these sorts of things, but doesn’t 30k seem a little low, especially after Sandra just won an Oscar? Sadly, poor Michelle might be the biggest loser in this whole situation. At least Sandra can dry her eyes with tissues made of gold and make “f*ck you” money for some shiteous rom-com, while Mich is left tattooing the word “scorned mistress” on her butt.  [Photo: GettyImages]

Interview: Fanning Grows Up, Jett Talks Rock And Robsten

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The FABlife sat down with Runaways stars Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning, as well as director Floria Sigismondi, and executive producer Joan Jett to chat about the new film, which left us energized and giddy after going into it with mediocre expectations. The round table interviews were a rare opportunity to pick the brains of two of Hollywood’s most promising actresses, a debut director, and a rock goddess. Needless to say, our hearts were racing faster than post-kiss Bella’s to be in their presence.

The petite duo entered the interview dressed casually chic, in flannel, v-neck tees, leggings, and sneakers. We can’t go on without gushing about how gorgeous KStew – or shall we say KStunning – is in person, even with a grown-out rocker ‘do in dire need of a dye job. With milky skin, striking blue-green eyes, and little freckles adorning her nose; the girl truly has both talent and knockout beauty. Swooning aside, they sat close to each other as they answered questions and finished each others’ sentences, showing how tight they’ve become while filming both The Runaways and The Twilight Saga.

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Lindsay Lohan In Visa Trouble After India Trip

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That Lindsay Lohan is cursed, we tell ya. Not only did her recent BBC documentary about child trafficking fail to improve her cultural standing (activists complained Lohan was taking credit for their work on Twitter), now Indian officials claim she applied a tourist visa instead of a work visa, a charge that may lead to LiLo being banned from returning. Not that she was dying to go back, we’re sure, but it still has to be embarrassing.

With this humiliation following her apparent split from Ungaro, a flop DJ night in London and habitual lateness for fashion shows and escort gigs in Europe, it’s hard to imagine there’s room on Lohan’s face for any more egg. Thankfully, the one-time actress doesn’t appear to be too upset by the drama, instead complaining on Twitter about the lack of AC in her apartment building, cheering St. Patrick’s Day (she’s Irish, you know!) and asking Lily Allen what movie Shirley Temple yodels in. Sounds like she’ll get by with a little help from her friends.

I’VE FINALLY FOUND MY WEDDING SONG: T-Pain’s “Reverse Cowgirl”

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Before today, I often wondered what my perfect wedding song would be. But at 4:30 PM on March 18, I got my answer…

T-Pain’s “Reverse Cowgirl.”

I can just imagine the train of my dress gliding across the hardwood floors as my arms are wrapped around my husband’s neck, while our in-laws sway in time with the following lyrics:

Welcome to my rodeo/ Hold on to meeeeee/ Baby Imma take it slow/ How you ride.. is the key…

I see my old friends from college cry as the photographer snaps a photo of us in marital bliss:

Giddy up Giddy up Pump it up Girl/ Set it up set it up/ I like how you do it/ Just put it in reverse cowgirl

Even the waiters are crying:

Just put your hands in the air/ Wave em round and go Ewwww..Ahhh. Yeeee.. Hawwww/ Put your hands in the air/ Wave em round and go Ewwww..Ahhh. Yeeee.. Hawwww

What can I say? I’ve always dreamed big. Here is the brand new music video, featuring the woman lucky enough to find Lady Gaga’s wardrobe at a fire sale and lots and lots of cherries:

Jesse James’ Mistress Explains Her Tattoos, Amish Upbringing (Seriously)

by (@katespencer)

Sandra Bullock‘s new arch nemesis, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, is a walking tattoo shop. (Check out Michelle Bombshell’s naked pics.) Jesse James inked out mistress is featured in this video for the Miss Ink Pageant in which she takes us, the rapt viewer, through her various pieces of body art, including a f*cking forehead tattoo. This chick is not messing around, and neither is Sandra, who just moved out of the home she shares with Jesse. Sandra found out about the tryst from her publicist, allegedly, the morning the story broke.

Even more interesting, Michelle grew up Amish (yes, Amish) explaining that she “left the church at 16 and never looked back.” Her parents disowned her a while ago, which is a good thing as they’d probably be doing it now, after she ruined the life of Amish Country’s sweetheart, Sandy B. (View Jesse James’ text messages to Michelle Bombshell.)

Hilariously, VH1′s own Brandi M., Rock of Love contestant, makes an appearance at the beginning of the clip.

Check out our mega-gallery of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, including naked pics, below. NSFW, ya’ll.

View Photo Gallery

Justin Beiber Lands Himself an Older Lady

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We kid, of course. Pop sensation and Twitter’s Official Trendiest Trender Justin Beiber was signing autographs outside of the BBC One Radio Station in London when fans (holding torches and pitchforks, probably) stormed towards the singer for autographs. In the process, these fans were crushing a small, helpless child. And it was Beiber to the rescue! Judging by her size in comparison to JBs, this girl is, what, 2? 3?

*taps out of room*

**Also pleeeease make this post bring out the crazy Beiber fans**

Another photo of this heroic act ahead!

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A Braille Rubik’s Cube! Finally? Sure, Finally!

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Anytime somebody thinks of a way to make something accessible to a group of people that would otherwise not be able to enjoy it, it is a wonderful thing. The idea of a braille Rubik’s Cube is a very good idea.  Nobody is denying that.  But there is something about the braille Rubik’s Cube that is not a good idea.   And that is this: it is all white.  Just because it’s meant for blind people doesn’t mean it has to be colorless.

You can have colors and braille together.  Colors and braille are not in opposition.  They are total nonoverlapping magisteria. Having colors on the braille Rubik’s Cube can only serve to help.  If the cube is braille-ed and colored, a blind Rubik’s Cube solver can get all the same instantaneous credit a sighted Rubik’s Cube solver would get.  He can just hold it up and go, “Done!”  and everybody can be like, “Indeed, brilliant blind man!  I can tell immediately that you have, in fact, solved this Rubik’s Cube.  A million genius points to you.”  But if it’s just an all white cube with bumps, it’s a much more complicated process.  “Come feel what I did!” doesn’t have the same cache.  It sounds gross.

Thanks for the picture, boingboing!