Karolina Kurkova In The Nude, Cosmetically

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Good news, common folk! Even supermodels need a little help from the beauty counter. Victoria’s Secret Angel and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Karolina Kurkova was spotted sans-makeup after hitting the gym in NYC today, and the results made us feel a little bit better about ourselves. When she’s not gracing magazine covers and strutting down runways, turns out Kurkova has average-woman pale skin, chapped lips, and barely-there eyebrows.

Okay, okay. There are still mile-long legs under those gym pants, and she looks pretty great for having a three-month-old baby at home. Throw us a bone. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Need a hump day confidence booster? Check out our collection of naked celebrity faces below.

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Stephen Colbert’s “Defeat The World” Olympic Poster Looks Like It Will

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Take seven Lee Greenwood albums, bake them into an apple pie,then organize a baseball game of soldiers in Uncle Sam costumes with it and you might be on the path to approximating something resembling the America-rallying power of Stephen Colbert’s “Defeat The World” Olympic Poster:

We’ll overlook the fact that twelve fantasy books I wrote when I was younger featured me on the cover riding an eagle. It was the King Of Eagle Mountain fantasy series. I was the king. My Prince was a Monkey Knight who loved Nintendo. Still not sure if a lawsuit’s necessary here.

Ex-Bad Girls Kelly Osbourne & Shannen Doherty Bond At G-Star Raw Fashion Show

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Kelly Osbourne and Shannen Doherty

Kelly Osbourne and Shannen Doherty were seated together at the G-Star Raw show at NYC Fashion Week yesterday, and we can’t think of a more inspired pairing. Kelly got her big break stomping angrily around her house on The Osbournes, being frutstrated by her misunderstanding parents, her obnoxious brother (who was younger but always acted older) and vain boyfriend (remember the singer from The Used?). Shannen, of course, was Brenda on Beverly Hills, 90210, where she stomped around her house, frustrated by her misunderstanding parents, her obnoxious brother (who was her twin but always acted older) and vain boyfriend (Dylan!). Ironically, with the ex-Charmed star reportedly hawking a reality show, she might have been the one asking Kelly for career advice.

Also attending were such fashion fanatics as Adam Lambert, John Legend, Agyness Deyn, Liv Tyler and Terrell Owens. See what they wore in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Pete Wentz Could Go For Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti

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Yesterday marked Pete Wentz‘ Fashion Week show for his clothing/design/publishing label, Clandestine Industries. Proving he’s not one to avoid theatrics, he took to the stage in a Hannibal Lecter-inspired straitjacket and…moving dolly? Hand truck? Whatever it is, he got wheeled in. The Fall Out Boy bassist’s clothing line  is heavy on the printed-graphics and hoodies and is decidedly hipster (you don’t say!) and not at all what we’d assume Hannibal Lecter to wear while he’s lounging. For more backstage pics of Pete preparing to eat his audience’s faces, check out our gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Janice Dickinson Goes Crazy For Haiti At LiLo’s Auction

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Janice Dickinson

Janice Dickinson has a very important lesson to teach us all: While it’s important to do your part and help others, one doesn’t have to be overly earnest and self-serious to do it. Proving the point, the former Top Model judge hiked up her skirt and danced around like an idiot on the red carpet at Lindsay Lohan‘s BRIT after party and charity auction in London last night. While the only celebrities at LiLo’s bash were Dickinson and a handful of other British reality stars like Lady Sovereign and that young barmaid who used to nail Ronnie Wood, we’re sure any room with Janice in it is going to be off the hook.

Check out Lindsay’s all-black ensemble and more pics of Janice being Janice in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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LOST SEASON 6, EPISODE 3 RECAP: The Substitute? Or The SMOKEstitute?

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The following is a Recap of Lost Season 6, Episode 3 entitled “The Substitute”, originally airing February 16, 2010. If you haven’t seen the episode, or plan on renting the movie The Substitute with Tom Berenger, don’t read, on, cause this is full of spoilers of both. Mostly the latter.

LOCKE: NEW-THOUSAND AND FOUR

This week’s tale opens on a still-paralyzed Locke who grows a little overconfident, falls on his lawn, gets nailed by sprinklers, and submits the tape to Lostmerica’s Funniest Home Videos (but loses to “Baby Plays The Spoon”). In this reality, with some encouragement from his wife-to-be Helen, Locke resumes his day job at the box factory, but is immediately confronted by his boss, Dr. Douchebag (he’s a doctor in Douchebag), who quickly gets him to admit that he didn’t spend any time in Australia on actual company business, and when Locke begs him to accept his apology without explanation, his boss fires him way too happily.

While pulling out of the parking lot, Locke confronts a van driver and yells at him “You’re a worse parker than the owner of this loser company!” but UHOH, it’s Hurley, who owns the company. The exceptionally sideburney Hurley laughs off Locke’s faux pas and recommends him to the Temp Agency he owns, which is managed by Rose for no damn reason. Rose then sets Locke up substitute teaching at a school, where he encounters Ben Frickin’ Linus, the teacher of such unpopular European history classes as:

- Charlemagne Is Coming To Kill Everyone On This Continent

- You’ll Just Have To Trust Me, Renaissance

- Now Your Ancient Greek Friends Are Safe

- Murder Class

Perhaps the budding teachers’ lounge friendship between Ben and Locke in some way impacts Ben’s later speech about Locke being “A man of faith… a better man than I’ll ever be… I shouldn’t have murdered him”? They could just be two separate destinies playing out in mirroring ways, but I’m throwing my money on a convergence here (Eventual Convergence Of The Two Realities is the current odds-on favorite in Las-t Vegas).

Eventually, Locke works up the courage to call Jack’s office for his free spinal miracle, but when the receptionist he totally has a crush on picks up, he hangs up really quickly. (A friend of mine imitated the receptionist saying “Hm.Guess it was someone who could walk.”) He explains to Helen that he’s been fired, and reveals his luggage bag that’s full of knives (You call those walkabout knives?? the Australians would have asked him), and admits that he argued and argued about trying to go on the walkabout, just as he argued with Rose at the temp agency, uttering a memorable Locke refrain about not wanting others to “tell me what I can’t do.” Put a bookmark in this one! We’ll come back to it. Literally stick one into your computer right here ——>

This reality’s Locke — unlike some other Lockes…COUGH…BAD MONSTER ONE– finally accepts his situation, and Helen obligingly rips up Jack’s business card. Locke then tells Helen, “I think I’ll start training for that Ironman now,” and Helen gives him a weird glare, then gets the joke and they laugh together. Freeze frame. Credits. LOST.

After The Jump, Pantsless Sawyer, Number-Lovin’ Jacob, and Locke’s Choose Your Own Adventure Game:

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Forget New Orleans… The German Stock Market Was The Place To Be On Fat Tuesday

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Some of you may be nursing a wicked hangover from yesterday’s festivities related to Mardi Gras or Carnival or the Women’s Curling Round Robin. However, unless you were working on the German Stock Exchange, your party was complete amateur hour.

Look how much fun they’re having? Who needs beads and topless women when you can do a conga line while buying 10,000 shares of… well something German I suppose. Schnitzel? The band Rammstein? Anyway, moving on… Here is what you missed:

Do those German realize that the graph behind them is completely tanking? Did the entire German economy collapse yesterday because everyone was too busy partying like they’re at a bad sorority Halloween mixer? Maybe Wall Street should take a page from the Germans and enact year-round Carnival work environment. If the whole financial system implodes again, we get to see pictures of funny clowns gasping in horror.

See more of the German party fun time after the jump

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Ali Lohan: The Oldest, Saddest 16-Year-Old In The World

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Just last summer, Ali Lohan looked like a relatively normal fresh-faced teenager, resisting the influence of her party-hardy big sister and fame-whoring parents. Sadly, lil’ Lohan is growing tired of getting dragged to events in Lindsay‘s shadow. A too-slim Ali emerged from her London hotel today looking more like a low-budget Dita Von Teese than a glamorous celebutante. Her partially-dyed hair, powdered skin, painted eyebrows, and borrowed-from-Lindsay red lipstick looked contrived and desperate beyond her years. Is it possible for siblings of trainwrecks to defy the odds and embrace their youth? [Photos: Getty Images, Splash News Online]

More shots of the Lohans in London below, as well as some shots from just last summer for a grim comparison.

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Gaga Honors McQueen In Her Own Weird Way

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Lady Gaga honored her friend Alexander “Lee” McQueen at the Brit Awards (see photos) yesterday, after he committed suicide by hanging himself in his wardrobe on February 11.Gaga appeared at a piano, sporting a massive wig and McQueen garb, accompanied by a giant statue of herself in McQueen’s infamous 12-inch booties. The best thing about Gaga is, even without all the crazy costumes and pseudo-avant garde performances, she’s still insanely talented. The weirdness just makes her belting sh*t out a piano seem new and revolutionary, when really she’s just our generation’s version of Billy Joel (a crooner with serious piano skills, for those of you born after 1985).

Gaga kept it low-key for a while, with a slow version of “Telephone” which she dedicated to her designer friend, before moving through some awkward dance routine while pounding out beats on a giant guitar. Pretty standard Gaga, but still moving – not because of the strange performance, but the evident emotion behind it. Pics below.

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Nicole Richie Plans Wedding, Wears Cut-Offs To Fashion Line Launch

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It took Nicole Richie and Joel Madden three years (and two children) before they decided to get married, but that doesn’t mean their wedding will be a Hollywood event. “Nicole wants to keep the ceremony to close friends and family. It will be traditional with a simple white dress and very private,” a close source revealed to PopEater. “Both parents want their two beautiful children—daughter Harlow and son Sparrow—to be involved in the service where Nicole’s famous father Lionel Richie will give her away. However, old BFF Paris Hilton will not be a bridesmaid.” That’s what you get for trying to find a new one on TV, Paris.

Considering her impending nuptials, we should probably give Richie a pass for wearing jean cut-offs to the debut of her Winter Kate line’s Spring 2010 collection at Bloomingdale’s. Even if she can do glamorous, she’ll always be a hippie chick at heart.

[Photo: .com]