Pittsburgh’s “City Of Champions Crunch” Ad Goes For Painful Local Commercial Title

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You may remember the Pittsburgh Penguins’ Max Talbot from The Locallest Local Commercial That Ever Localled, as well as its less-heralded but also hilarious followup, the Second Locallest Commercial That Ever Localed.

Now, Talbot is back, alongside the Steelers’ Hines Ward, to fight over the new Pittsburgh sports cereal “City Of Champions Crunch,” in a commercial with production values that truly embody the word “Champion.” If this commercial got any more local, it would literally take place inside your pancreas:

Who are those people in the background? And how many takes did they shoot to end up with this? Why do they have cereal in an office? Why is Talbot wearing gloves—–[BLOOD SHOOTS OUT OF EYES, FALLS UNCONSCIOUS]

(via Empty Netters)

BUSTED: The Tiger Woods Voicemail That Says It All (Specifically, We’ve F**ked)

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TIGER WOODS SHHHWell, the ess has hit the eff for Tiger Woods today. First, his wife breaks his face with a golf club, in what is now known as the “It Was A Car Accident. JK, She Beat Me” Incident. Then, it was time to do some damage control, Tiger-style. US Weekly has obtained a voicemail left by Tiger, sounding as hilariously Caucasian and nervous as ever, asking his paramour to remove her name from the outgoing voicemail message and replacing with a simpler, less accusatory phone number. One can only assume the answering machine sounded like this “Hello, You Have Reached (different, slut voice) I’m Doing Your Husband (robot commences) Please leave a message after the tone.”

Anyway, this voicemail pretty much defines the term “Busted.” And speaking of which, where are his PR people throughout all of this? Is anyone controlling anything? Can’t NIKE help out in some way?

Warning: It Autoplays, so you can listen to it ahead. The Us Weekly chimes at the beginning and end are almost kind of smug, no?

Read more…

Pamela Anderson Steals Tools?

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I mean we all know Pamela Anderson likes a good screw, but do you really need to steal to get one? The Baywatch babe has been ordered to appear in Small Claims Court to respond to allegations that she has not returned tools and other supplies to one of the contractors who worked on her Malibu estate. Pam, who ironically kick started her television career with her role as the “Tool Time Girl” on Home Improvement has been sued by Condey Construction group for $5,000.

This is not Pammy’s first brush with legal troubles this year: she was sued by five other contractors this year. Just give back the power drill and stop causing so much trouble! [Source: RadarOnline; Photo: Getty Images]

Lady Gaga Opens Up in Elle

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Lady Gaga will appear on the cover of the January 2010 issue of Elle magazine and as always, the interview inside is as good as the picture on  the cover. Looking like a cross between Gaultier-clad Madonna and Debbie Harry, Gaga looks gorgeous but not too revealing, and explains to the mag that she tried to tone down the sexy as much as she can.

“My album covers are not sexual at all, which was an issue at my record label. I fought for months, and I cried at meetings. They didn’t think the photos were commercial enough…The last thing a young woman needs is another picture of a sexy pop star writhing in sand, covered in grease, touching herself.” Take notes, Heidi Montag!

We love this woman so much for having an insane image and then proving herself to be as normal as can be and wanting to set a good, if often pants-less, example. She also says that she plans to settle down eventually. “In eight to 10 years, I want to have babies for my Dad to hold, grandkids. And I want to have a husband who loves and supports me, just the way anyone else does. I would never leave my career for a man right now, and I would never follow a man around.” Portions of the interview and photos from the cover shoot are online now at Elle.com.

TRAILER MIX: Finally, The Tim Allen Directorial Debut That The Year 1996 Has Been Waiting For

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Gonna be on a plane any time this coming January? Then brace yourself for Tim Allen’s directorial debut, Crazy On The Outside, a semi-autobiographical film about a man played by Tim Allen who gets out of prison only to star in a movie you don’t want to see. Between this movie and the upcoming Wild Hogs sequel, Allen is this close to officially forfeiting the ability to hold over everyone’s heads that he starred in the Toy Story movies.

Apparently the majority of Tim Allen’s direction on this film was just “Hey younger actress, now you make out with me…”


(via /Film)

Tori And Candy Spelling Make Up?

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Tori Spelling and mom Candy Spelling have reportedly mended their broken relationship, and Candy has even been spending time with her grandchildren! The feuding pair reportedly “began talking again in September, when they were both in the hospital,” reveals a source. “Tori was being treated for a stomach ailment, while mama Spelling underwent back surgery.”

Things are apparently going so well that the reconciled family has even been having some playdates. “Candy finally met Tori and hubby Dean McDermott‘s 18-month old daughter Stella. She has also spent time with grandson Liam, 2, who she apparently hadn’t seen in over a year,” a source claims. Let’s hope these two don’t have any more petty feuds! [Source: E! Online; Photo: Getty Images]

Can Everyone Who Has Had An Affair With Tiger Woods Please Raise Your Hands?

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TIGER WOODS SADAlright guys, look. First, it was one woman who had an affair with golf legend Tiger Woods. Now, another woman is coming out of the woodwork, claiming to have had a 31-month affair with the pro who has been called “something of a hound.” Meanwhile, the guy is crashin’ his car into trees and getting beat by his wife with a 9 iron. What this means in so many words, people, is that the “jig is up,” as they say. We know you’ve been having an affair with Tiger Woods. Just admit it, you have!

So we’re going to ask patiently that every person who has had an affair with Tiger Woods to please raise their hand.

Beginning with you, ma’am:

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She seems happy. And you, there, on the green:

RAISED HAND WOMAN

Guess this one is inevitable. Anyone else?

Read more…

Kim and Khloe Kardashian Take Miami

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Khloe Kardashian’s married life looks like it is treating her very well, and her big sister Kim ain’t doin’ so bad either! The notoriously sexy brunettes headed down to Miami and slipped on some sexy bikinis to film a Quicktrim commercial, an experience Kim just had to blog about.

“The beach was so beautiful and we were having such a great time enjoying the sand and sun,” Kim writes. “I really feel like I have reached my fitness goal and now I am toned, fit, and at a healthy weight and I just need to keep it up!”

Yes, definitely keep it up girls. Looking good! [Source, Photos: KimKardashian.com]

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Rihanna Confirms Nude Photos, “They Were For My Boyfriend”

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Rihanna recently confirmed to Hot 97 that it was really her in those nude photos someone leaked last May. “They were for my boyfriend at the time,” she told the station, “if you don’t send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him.” Yes, even with the public embarrassment she suffered after they leaked (“I thought, ‘Oh great, so now there’s nothing they don’t know about me and my private life’”), Rihanna is standing firm that providing naked photos of yourself is a lady’s romantic obligation. Making mom blush is just collateral damage.

“It was humiliating and it was embarrassing—especially my mom having to see that,” she continued, explaining that she sent flowers before breaking the news. “I was nervous [but] when the world is against me, she’s always there supporting.” Considering the same can’t be said about Chris Brown (who denied leaking the photos), maybe she should reconsider her stance on boudoir photography.

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Adam Lambert Lobbies For Spot On Twilight: Eclipse Soundtrack

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“American Idol” star Adam Lambert is a self-professed Twilight fan, and now the singer wants his piece of the Twi pie. In an interview with MTV, the scandalous singer revealed that he’d love for one of his songs to be featured on the upcoming Eclipse soundtrack. Wouldn’t we all? (Eh, Glambert’s chances are probably a little better than ours.)  Check it out above.