Search Results for: olympics

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While You Were Crashing on Tim Gunn’s Couch

The cover of Rolling Stone poses a lot of questions. Either Zac Efron has the body of an American Gladiator or Natalie Portman got a tan. Because that man is way too pretty. And in a related story… Looks like Matthew McConaughey‘s penis has been working out! Aww… looks like Samantha Morton is pregnant with […]

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IN ODDER NEWS: Hot Dogs for Sale! Literal Hot Dogs for Sale!

Word to the wise: If you find yourself in Beijing during next year’s Olympics, and a friendly Chinese waiter offers you the local special, oysters marinated in toothpaste, do your best to avoid it… no matter how safe the government insists it is. Nobody cares about gold medals in heaven. The 2008 Presidential Candidates will […]

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BWE SPORTS: I Have Never Been Prouder To Be An American

After Joey Chestnut demolished Kobayashi (and the world record) at yesterday’s Nathan’s hot dog eating contest, a friend said to me, “You know, I think it actually might be better if the U.S. didn’t hold the record for competitive eating, it just makes us look even fatter.” However, while I understood the sentiment behind this […]

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ICYMI: More Olympic Logo Drama, This Time Involving a Gaping Anus!

This morning, we brought to you our high brow concept for a new logo for the 2012 London Olympics. But it appears someone beat us to the genius punch, by submitting their version to the BBC’s website which called for new entries… by crudely MS Painting the olympic rings inside a version of the goatse […]

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BWE’s New 2012 London Olympic Logo Suggestion

If you weren’t already aware, the logo recently unveiled for the upcoming 2012 London Olympics is all aboard the hein train express, i.e. unbecoming. Looking not unlike the Aggro Crag trophy from the hit 90′s gameshow Nickelodeon Guts, it’s a hot pink, craggy nightmare, confusing, jagged… plainly, quite ugly. Here it is, if you haven’t […]

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IN ODDER NEWS: Cum On Feel the Noize

Presidential hopeful Barack Obama is warning of a “quiet riot” among American black people who have become disenfranchised with the government. Meanwhile, I’m warning of Quiet Riot, an 80′s metal band that will make you want to stay up in your trailer, doing meth and drinking beers for days on end. Can someone tell the […]

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BAD IDEA JEANS: Open Water Swimming

When we hear the term “Open Water”, our brains immediately race towards images of the most hyped horror movie of all time… Open Water, about a couple stranded by their diving boat who get (spoiler duh-lert) eaten by sharks. But now, something actually terrifying can finally be associated with the term, that being Open Water […]

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Nancy Kerrigan’s Ultimate Revenge

Here’s a lesson to America’s young: Revenge is best served old and bloated. Look long and hard at the above picture of ex-figure skater Tonya Harding, famous for hiring her ex-husb to injure Nancy Kerrigan during the 1994 Olympics. Are you staring? Because after a while, much like a late 90′s stereogram, you will begin […]

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SIZZLER: Mickey’s Choo Choo

It looks like Screech isn’t the only celebrity with a sex tape coming out soon. Some employees over at Disneyland Paris, dressed in full Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, etc. attire, shot a smutty video involving our favorite childhood characters and leaked it onto YouTube. The video has already been pulled, however this article describes a few […]

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…OF THE DAY

HEADLINE: “Exxon Quarterly Profit 5th Highest Ever” (AP) MISGUIDED OUTRAGE: Jay Leno is being criticized for bad gay jokes, yet continues getting away with all the bad everything else jokes. (Canada.com) SCARIEST PREDATOR SINCE ‘THE PREDATOR’: Police released sketches depicting a truly terrifying rape suspect. (DoubleViking) CRUSHING, TORTUROUS DISAPPOINTMENT: Jessica Alba ALMOST let a nipple […]