LISTEN UP: Of Modest Mice and Old Men

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  • Idolator have a couple of the leaked new Modest Mouse tracks that are currently floating around the webbernets.
  • The Vinyl Villain celebrates the triumphant reunion of some aging rocker types by posting a few tracks from The Police.
  • There’s some great new stuff from Andrew Bird and Explosions In the Sky posted over at Some Velvet Blog.
  • Carl Sandburg Visits Me In a Dream has new tracks from my current fave SoftLightes, in addition to an awesome blog name.
  • Kingblind has a sweet new RJD2 track that should propel you through the weekend.

Eminem Has Trouble Getting His Small Penis Hard Enough To Satisfy Awful Ex-Wife

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eminemandkimmathers.jpgForget those rumors you heard a couple of weeks ago about Eminem potentially re-marrying ex-wife Kim Mathers. Judging by Kim’s less-than-kind words on a Detroit morning radio show, it doesn’t look like that will be happening anytime soon. From Idolator:

“I can’t stand him. (He’s) an absolute horrible person,” Mathers said. “I vomit in my mouth whenever I’m around him or whenever I hear his name.”

She categorized sex with her twice ex-husband as “bad,” and said “he’s not very well endowed.” She added when it came to sex, “(you better have) a little blue pill, or else it does not work.”

And suddenly, we kind of understand why he wrote all those songs about killing her.

Justin Uses British Awards Show Appearance As Chance To Tell Britney To Cool It With the Booze

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OK Magazine - cover brit-justin.jpgAccording to Jossip, during his acceptance speech at last night’s (appropriately named) Brit Awards, Justin Timberlake sent a thinly veiled shout-out to his beleaguered ex-girlfriend, Britney Spears:

“Everyone have a great night. Stop drinking! You know who you are. I’m speaking to you. You are going to get sloppy. OK! magazine is going to say something bad about you.”

An innocent joke to a room full of British celebs, or a desperate attempt to reach out to someone he cares about who seems to be re-railing further and further from the “sanity” track? Put on your tinfoil hats and decide for yourselves! Though, Britney IS on the cover of OK! Magazine this week…

Eddie Murphy is Martin Lawrence is Norbit!

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You know, you can’t get too mad at this sideline reporter for confusing Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy. It’s not like either of them have made a good movie in years. In fact, this awkward interview with Martin is the funniest thing either of them have been a part of since Next Friday. Oh wait… neither of them are in Next Friday? I got nothing.

Vid via With Leather

BWE EXCLUSIVE: Ladies And Gentlemen, We Give You the World Premiere of “What What (In the Butt)”

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You know, people send us a lot of crazy videos asking us to post them on the site. And I don’t mean “teenage girls dancing to Nelly in their bedrooms” kind of crazy, I mean “Charlie Manson riding a unicorn on an LSD-fueled trip to the center of the universe” kind of crazy. Usually we just ignore them, but this one, sent to us by reader Jessica G., is simply too amazing to slip through the cracks. I don’t know much about who or what this is, but it’s by someone called Samwell, I’m pretty sure the less you know, the better. Also, it’s a little slow getting started, but once the lyrics start, you’ll be glad you stuck around.

UPDATE: Turns out Perez posted this yesterday. Should have known nothing this gay could have slipped past him.

Are YOU The Father of Anna Nicole’s Baby?

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It started as a battle between the paparazzo and lawyer, both men claiming to be the rightful father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter Danielynn. But in the week following the starlet’s untimely and tragic death, one-by-one, men have been stepping forward to claim their paternity of the child (oh yeah, and their right to what could be a $450 million inheritance). The latest to hop on board the Anna Nicole Baby Daddy bandwagon is a man named Mark “Hollywood” Hatten, who is…wait for it…in prison. He sent a hand-scrawled missive to TMZ’s Harvey Levin claiming to be the father of the child, leading us to believe that if an incarcerated felon could have fathered the child, maybe WE’RE the father. Join us in our quest to be crowned America’s Next Top Father of Anna Nicole’s Child by writing and calling TMZ to show your support for our paternity claim!

Donald Trump Picks On Somebody His Own Size, Weight Class

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4125908.jpgI stopped watching professional wrestling in the mid-90′s; sometime in between The Undertaker locking the Ultimate Warrior in his casket and Lex Luger powerslamming Yokozuna on the U.S.S. Intrepid. However, certain things like Degeneration X’s catchphrase (“Suck it!”) and Stacy Keibler’s legs (wow) have kept me semi-interested throughout the years even though I couldn’t name a single WWF WWE Intercontinental Champion post-Brett “The Hitman” Hart. He was the best, anyway, so what’s the point in keeping track? Right?

Anyway- recently the WWE has gotten some attention for branching out and becoming more celebrity-oriented. First, John Cena famously bodyslammed K-Fed on national TV, much to the delight of fans everywhere (wrestling fans, that is. Is there such a thing as a Federline fan?) That little storyline proved to be nothing more than just an appetizer for starf**kers, though. Right now the WWE has a real celebrity feud brewing- Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump. This week the two billionaires (just go with it) agreed to each select a wrestler to fight on their side at Wrestlemania- the loser shaves his head. How is this going to play out? Come on- do you really think The Donald is going to shave his head for a bunch of crazed wrestling fans? Of course not. But then again, if he did, it’d take self-promotion to a whole new level. And if anybody is capable of that, it’s him.

So things could get interesting. Let’s get ready to rumble (or whatever it is they say nowadays).