Because Ya Had A Bad Day January

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Tony Romo, the cool, young Dallas Cowboys quarterback seemingly had the world at his feet in 2006. He came off the bench and was winning big games for the Cowboys, he was making football exciting again for his hall-of-Fame coach Bill Parcells, and best of all he was supposedly hooking up with the sexiest American Idol alum this side of Ruben Studdard, Carrie Underwood. Things were good. Then we hit 2007.

Just three weeks into the new year, things aren’t all lollipops and candy canes for Mr. Romo anymore. On January 6th he botched the hold during an attempted field goal, costing his team a trip to the NFC Championship and becoming the scapegoat for millions of fans (let’s just say the people over at Tony Homo were more than thrilled.) Today, Bill Parcells retired, making Romo’s botched snap the final play he’ll ever see from the sidelines. And, last but not least, just when things couldn’t get any worse, Carrie Underwood had this to say:

“The first time I ever met him was on Christmas, right there on the field. Everybody was like, ‘Ooh, they are together.’ And then I was blamed for Dallas not winning that game. . . . He is a very nice guy and I’ve talked to him a few times, but we are very much not together.”

Wow. So not only are they not together, they’re very much not together. Ouch. Maybe if he would’ve held onto that football they’d be kinda together. And he’d still have a coach. And there wouldn’t be a bounty on his head in Texas. And Tony Homo would still be updating. I guess we’ll never know that. But we do know this: Nobody misses 2006 more than Tony Romo. Nobody.

So play that Daniel Powter song now. Because you know that guy is also just a couple of months away from missing the good old days of 2006 too.

CAPTION THIS! What, Exactly, Is So Funny?

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The only way we could think to describe this photo taken of Diana Ross is as follows: “Beyonce, this is what you can look forward to.”

Put your captions in the comments while we continue heartily LOLing.

LISTEN UP: Ladies and Gentlemen, I Give You “Wizard”

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  • Thanks to Lindsayism for bringing to our attention the magical (magical…magical…magical) sounds of Wizard (when you say “Wizard”, you have to whisper it dramatically)!
  • While the’re no Wizards, Arcade Fire are pretty good – and a couple new live tracks from last weekend’s benefit shows have surfaced over at Blogs Are For Dogs.
  • I’ve recently gotten into the low-fi rock awesomeness of The Microphones, and Said the Gramophone has a new track with an important social message.
  • Elvis Perkins is the King of bookish whimsical folk-rock, and Aquarium Drunkard has a few of his songs.
  • Who doesn’t love a little happy jangly hand-clappin head-boppin’ pop music? Noise For Toaster brings us the latest addition to this category – The Broken West.

Little Girls Love Belly Shirts!

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Most of you are probably aware of the psychotic things that go on at child beauty pageants (and if the name Swan Brooner rings any bells, you’re probably too familiar with it), but we were never privy to the world of haute couture for little girls. Sure, we knew it existed, but we truly had no idea fashion shows existed for this kind of thing. Today, we were introduced to Miss Blumarine, the toddler verzh of Blumarine for adults, and it’s kind of sweet… like how this little girl is exposing her midriff even though the remainder of her outfit gives every indication it’s the dead of winter:

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Then there’s this outfit, from designer Agatha Ruzz de la Prada, which we’ve dubbed “A Pedophiliac Superhero”:

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Boris Becker‘s model/daughter/recessive-gene carrier after the jump!

Read more…

Christian Finnegan Goes Back To School

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christian2.JPGBWE Panelist/ Stand-Up Comedian/ all around good guy Christian Finnegan is about to go where only Rodney Dangerfield, the guys from Old School and those retired senior citizens with way too much time on their hands have gone before: back to school.

Christian embarks on his Comedy Central sponsored Two For Flinching Tour today, and as he mentions on his site: “Over the next three or so months I will be heading to 20-30 fully accredited institutions of higher learning, articulate dick jokes and ill-informed social commentary at the ready.” Now if that doesn’t make you run out and buy a ticket today, I don’t know what will.

For more details, click here. And don’t miss this cautionary tale about the dreaded Dorm Wanderer. It’ll make you wish you were going back to school too.

ICYMI: Zach Braff Sings About Sh*t

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We happen to miss the much-touted Scrubs musical episode from last Thursday, written by the creators of Avenue Q. And we won’t lie, we were curious if Zach Braff had the vocal chops to cut such delicious musical sirloin. Then we saw this clip, and honestly, we still don’t know! We were way too distracted by the Waiting for Guffman-esque MIDI-style backing track. Anyway, to sum it up, here’s Braff singing about sh*t in a song called “Everything Comes Down to Poo”.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: I Wanna Dance!

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stompit.jpg1. Guys, this yard I got here – I need you to stomp it. STOMP IT! Come on, stop pussyfooting around and STOMP THE YARD! Do it! Thanks, I really appreciate that – $13.3 million

2, I saw this movie for the 13th time this weekend. My favorite part is when Robin Williams does all those voices – $13 million

3. Did you guys see Jamie Foxx in Ray? It takes a lot of talent to act AND sing like that. He’s amazing$8.7 million

4. Scary movies are the best. Especially ones where dead ghost children with no eyes suddenly appear out of nowhere and terrify the teenage main characters. But this one’s about a scary guy who randomly kills people who give him rides. Also pretty scary, but not as scary as C. Thomas Howell$8.2 million

5. Whenever I’m feeling blue and down in the dumps, I listen to the soundtrack to this movie and remember that we can all achieve our dreams if we just work hard enough – $6.7 million

The Last Word On Isaiah Washington

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We’re not going to waste any more time on this annoying Isaiah Washington stuff… unless, of course, he kills a guy or comes out of the closet. But that’s it. So with that in mind, here’s the last thing we’re going to post about Mr. Washington, courtesy of Pretty On The Outside. It says it all.
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Alright, I’m glad that’s settled. Now let’s move on.

Net Superstar, That Is What You Are

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lonelygirl.jpgIf you’re having a hard time getting back into the swing of things after a ridiculous weekend full of binge drinking and bad decisions (like, for example, the decision to binge drink), you’re probably already in dire need of something– anything– to help you procrastinate at work today. Look no further than Web Junk TV’s 40 Greatest Internet Superstars poll. Head over there to see some of your favorite viral videos (like Little Superstar and the Numa Numa Guy) and discover some that you might have missed. Then vote for your favorite. It’s easy, it’s entertaining, and by casting your vote you’ll have at least accomplished something at work today.

And for the record; voting for your favorite Internet Star is still cooler than voting for your favorite American Idol. I’m just sayin’.