Best Night Ever for Thursday, March 22nd!

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Math time! Patti LuPone + Ugly Betty = Thursday night fun! Missed the moment? Check it out on Best Night Ever for Thursday, March 22nd with Mindy Raf. The best moments of Thursday night TV come from Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, True Life, College Hill, Andy Barker, P.I. and Ugly Betty. Naturally.

Mindy blogs occasionally

…OF THE DAY

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  • WHATCHOO TALKIN ABOUT?: Can you guess which celebrity kin is pictured, right, acting like a drunky tard? Hint: Just look at the face. (IDLYITW)
  • THE DA VINCI CHODE?: We refuse to believe this, but Ron Howard has expressed interest in directing a Britney Spears biopic starring the song bird (bald eagle, obvs) herself. The movie will be called Glitter 2 (CeleBitchy)
  • WHO WANTS TO TAP DAT?: Notorious T.W.O.F.A.C.E. Sarah Jessica Parker shows off her beautiful side at a party celebrating water. Poor kids, shmoor kids, where did she get that dress?! (Popsugar)
  • GOOD MOURNING: Tear that Tiger Beat poster off your ceiling at once, Lonely 44-year-old Lady: Leonardo DiCaprio might be getting married! What was all that “I’ll never let go” talk, Leo? (A Socialite’s Life)
  • TWO THINGS WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT THAT ARE NOT NECESSARILY RELATED, ALTHOUGH KIND OF: Maude on DVD and ant sugar. (Think about it… Bee Arthur?) (LA Weekly, BoingBoing)

I LIKE TO WATCH: Killer Drag Queens On Dope

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In the latest edition of our handy tips for your Netflix Queue, Michael Cyril Creighton is here to tell you about Shortbus, Killer Drag Queens on Dope, and Blood Diamond. Sex, drugs and DiCaprio!

IN ODDER NEWS: LaRussa Is No Nolte

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  • Tony LaRussa got himself arrested for drunk driving. Rehab might be in the cards.
  • A new study suggests that one in eight children are bullied by e-mails or text messages. I’ll never forget the harrowing experience of being terrorized by Ndege, the jerk from Zimbabwe who kept pretending he was going to send me money.
  • Speaking of Zimbabwe, the country of Angola is sending Ninjas there.
  • The guy who hid a tiny camera in a shampoo bottle to watch his female roomates shower is the smartest pervert of all time.
  • “How’s my blogging?” The T-shirt.

Janice Dickinson & TMZ: It’s A Skank-Off!

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Radar brings us this personal video message professional classy person Janice Dickinson recorded for Harvey Levin, the managing edior of paparazzi clearinghouse TMZ. Like an even trashier version of the Donald vs. Rosie feud (who would’ve thought that’s even possible?), the video just oozes with scumbaginess and desperation. We’re not really sure what all this about – probably something to do with grainy footage of Janice’s old crotch or what have you, but here’s her rant, if you’re into that sort of thing.

LIVEBLOGGING: Kim K., (Probably Not Going To Be A) Superstar

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kimkardashianCDcover3.jpgYou know, it’s not everyday that we arrive at work to find a package of pornography waiting for us at our desk. The good people at Vivid Video provided us with a complementary copy of the Kim Kardashian & Ray J sex tape that nobody really seems to care about, but can now be viewed by all, presumably in the hopes that the tape’s tenuous connection to “celebrity” would be significant enough for us to write about. But being that she’s most famous for being pals with Paris Hilton and the daughter of the dude who helped OJ get away with murder, and that Ray J is known primarily for being Brandy’s brother and making this tape, it’s not really all that relevant. But we’re bored and it’s porn, so why not? We watched it so you don’t have to, and here’s what we discovered:

00:01 – We fade in on Kim K. & Ray J sitting on a bed, wearing bathrobes, in what appears to be a Motel 6. We immediately notice the superior production design, cinematography and mise-en-scene in comparison to Paris’ infamous “night-vision goggles capturing sexual awkwardness” tape. There’s a title montage with some awesome iMovie effects.

01:00 – Kim K is sittting on the floor in front of a mirror putting on some make-up, presumably in preparation for getting herself f*cked on camera. Ray J gets himself prepared/psyched by talking to the camera and fake-rapping.

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